Glossary entry (derived from question below)
English term or phrase:
translates, without false virtuosity, the will of the conductor
English answer:
conveys the will of the conductor without false virtuosity
Added to glossary by
Tony M
Apr 13, 2012 11:32
12 yrs ago
English term
the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity
English
Art/Literary
Music
Journalistic Article on conductor
I am translating from another language, an article about a conductor.
The literal translation would read:
"The gest is elegant, bold, precise and translates, without false virtuosity, the will of the conductor"
I thought leaving it this way would sound a bit it clumsy so I have tried to restructure the phrases like so:
"With an elegant, bold, and precise gesture, the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity."
However, I am not sure if it is correct to say that "the WILL of the conductor INTERPRETS". Could this be said? Or have I gone a bit far in reorganising the ideas?
The literal translation would read:
"The gest is elegant, bold, precise and translates, without false virtuosity, the will of the conductor"
I thought leaving it this way would sound a bit it clumsy so I have tried to restructure the phrases like so:
"With an elegant, bold, and precise gesture, the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity."
However, I am not sure if it is correct to say that "the WILL of the conductor INTERPRETS". Could this be said? Or have I gone a bit far in reorganising the ideas?
Change log
Apr 13, 2012 13:51: Tony M changed "Field (specific)" from "General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters" to "Music"
Apr 14, 2012 12:11: Tony M changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/1213228">Lara Barnett's</a> old entry - "the will of the conductor interprets with true virtuosity"" to ""Certainly not your proposed improvement""
Responses
+2
2 hrs
Selected
Certainly not your proposed improvement
The overall intended meaning is actually a little unclear, perhaps from lack of the surrounding context. However, here's one suggestion that I think does at least make some sense, and reads less clunkily:
"Elegant, bold, precise gestures convey the conductor's will without false virtuosity."
We really need to know if this is one particular gesture (which I doubt), or just the ensemble of the conductor's gestures? It seems to me that the source language (and it might help to know what it is?) could be one of those languages like FR that sometimes uses a def. art. + sg where in EN we use a 'generalizing' plural with no article at all; if this were the case, then it might help to try it this way, as I have suggested above.
Secondly, the original 'literal' translation is ambiguous: ought we to read that "the will of the conductor interprets (the music) thus" —
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Note added at 2 hrs (2012-04-13 14:20:03 GMT)
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Well, it is a common enough stylistic device, as in discussing a picture "The line is resolute..." — when we know perfectly well the picture has more than one line in it!
However, I would studiously avoid 'gesturing' — that really means 'the act of using gestures', as in e.g. "All the gesturing in the world won't stop the man from falling off the ladder"; and like 'posturing', runs the risk of being associated with a negative connotation, definitely unwanted here!
"the way s/he uses gesture" might be one way of avoiding 'gesturing'.
"Elegant, bold, precise gestures convey the conductor's will without false virtuosity."
We really need to know if this is one particular gesture (which I doubt), or just the ensemble of the conductor's gestures? It seems to me that the source language (and it might help to know what it is?) could be one of those languages like FR that sometimes uses a def. art. + sg where in EN we use a 'generalizing' plural with no article at all; if this were the case, then it might help to try it this way, as I have suggested above.
Secondly, the original 'literal' translation is ambiguous: ought we to read that "the will of the conductor interprets (the music) thus" —
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs (2012-04-13 14:20:03 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Well, it is a common enough stylistic device, as in discussing a picture "The line is resolute..." — when we know perfectly well the picture has more than one line in it!
However, I would studiously avoid 'gesturing' — that really means 'the act of using gestures', as in e.g. "All the gesturing in the world won't stop the man from falling off the ladder"; and like 'posturing', runs the risk of being associated with a negative connotation, definitely unwanted here!
"the way s/he uses gesture" might be one way of avoiding 'gesturing'.
Note from asker:
The original language is Romania. This is a collection of articles from different journalists who all seem to use "The gesture" ("gestul") in the singular. At some points I have used "his gesturing is....". Thank you for suggestion, it does make sense. |
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Sandra & Kenneth Grossman
: Excellent comments
15 hrs
|
Thanks, Sangro!
|
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agree |
Andrew Mason
20 hrs
|
Thanks, Andrew!
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you for such thorough explanations."
+5
4 mins
I'd stick to your original
Your second effort doesn't work imo. But use gesture not gest
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Martin Riordan
3 mins
|
Thanks Martin
|
|
agree |
Jack Doughty
12 mins
|
thanks Jack
|
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agree |
Colin Rowe
: Agree with both your comments
52 mins
|
Thanks Colin
|
|
agree |
Veronika McLaren
1 hr
|
Thanks Veronika
|
|
agree |
PAS
: use "conveys" instead of "translates". Also, doesn't the syntax strike anyone as being a bit convoluted?
1 hr
|
Thanks. Not convoluted when you read other descriptions of musical events!
|
+1
1 hr
is conveyed/interpreted with true virtuosity
I feel that "the will of the conductor interprets" is unclear - one asks - "interprets WHAT?" (capitals just to emphasise, not to shout!)
I think the passive is more meaningful and tranlsates better what you watn to say.
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Note added at 1 hr (2012-04-13 13:29:16 GMT)
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sorry for typos ... translates better what you want to convey
I think the passive is more meaningful and tranlsates better what you watn to say.
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Note added at 1 hr (2012-04-13 13:29:16 GMT)
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sorry for typos ... translates better what you want to convey
Note from asker:
Thank you. |
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Tina Vonhof (X)
: I would still prefer the active voice: with bold gestures the conductor conveys his interpretation (of the music) with true virtuosity.
1 hr
|
thank you Tina! - though I feel it is his will , not the interpretation which is conveyed by the gestures...
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14 hrs
reflects/demonstrates the conductor's will/interpretation without false virtuosity
I would stick to your 1st attempt in the 1st half (replacing "gest" with "gesture" or "movements", as has been suggested), and continue with one of the above options.
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Note added at 14 hrs (2012-04-14 01:51:33 GMT)
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You may want to note that
(1) the "interpretation"/"translation" of the score takes place in the conductor's mind
(2) " without false virtuosity" and "with true virtuosity" are definitely not the same when it comes to conducting or otherwise performing a piece of music.
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Note added at 14 hrs (2012-04-14 01:51:33 GMT)
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You may want to note that
(1) the "interpretation"/"translation" of the score takes place in the conductor's mind
(2) " without false virtuosity" and "with true virtuosity" are definitely not the same when it comes to conducting or otherwise performing a piece of music.
Note from asker:
Thank you for your comments. |
Discussion
This is based on a lifetime of sitting in all kinds of concert halls and half a lifetime translating music-related texts, reviews etc. :-)
Obviously, the conductor's whole body moves, but it's the arms that do most of the work. In my experience, descriptions such as "precise gestures", "expansive gestures" refer to the arms/ hands.
I think restricting it to just 'arm' would be unwise here, and 'gesture' does have the advantage of remaining non-specific.