Competition in this pair is now closed. Discussion and feedback about the competition in this language pair may now be provided by visiting the "Discussion & feedback" page for this pair. Entries may also be individually discussed by clicking the "Discuss" link next to any listed entry. Source text in German  Am andern Tag war die Hochzeit. Während der Trauung hörte man die Braut weinen, es schien, als ahne sie ihr trauriges Schicksal voraus, während der Bräutigam, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, selbstbewußt und höhnisch lächelnd um sich blickte. Die Sache war die, daß es kein Geschöpf auf Gottes Erdboden gab, dem er sich nicht überlegen gefühlt hätte.
Als das Hochzeitsmahl zu Ende war, wurde Engelhart mit den andern Kindern ins Freie geschickt. Es war ein lieblicher Garten hinter dem Haus, voll Apfel- und Kirschenbäumen. In dem dumpfen Trieb aufzufallen, sonderte sich Engelhart von der Gesellschaft ab und schritt in einer den Erwachsenen abgelauschten Gangart in der Tiefe des Gartens hin und her. Was ihm unbewußt dabei vorgeschwebt hatte, geschah; die jüngste Cousine folgte ihm, stellte sich ihm gegenüber und blitzte ihn mit dunkeln Augen schweigend an. Nach einer Weile fragte Engelhart um ihren Namen, den er wohl schon einige Male gehört, aber nicht eigentlich begriffen hatte. Sie hieß Esmeralda, nach der Frau des Onkels Michael in Wien, und man rief sie Esmee. Dieser Umstand erweckte von neuem Engelharts prickelnde Eifersucht, und er fing an, prahlerische Reden zu führen. Der Lügengeist kam über ihn, zum Schluß stand er seinem wahnvollen Gerede machtlos gegenüber, und Esmee, die ihn verwundert angestarrt hatte, lief spöttisch lachend davon.
Um diese Zeit faßten seine Eltern den Beschluß, ihn, obwohl er zum pflichtmäßigen Schulbesuch noch ein Jahr Zeit hatte, in eine Vorbereitungsklasse zu schicken, die ein alter Lehrer namens Herschkamm leitete. Herr Ratgeber, der große Stücke auf Engelharts Begabung hielt und große Erwartungen von seiner Zukunft hegte, war ungeduldig, ihn in den Kreis des Lebens eintreten, von der Quelle des Wissens trinken zu sehen. Er dachte an seine eigne entbehrungs- und mühevolle Jugend. Noch in den ersten Jahren seiner Ehe liebte er gehaltvolle Gespräche und gute Bücher und bewahrte eine schwärmerische Achtung für alles, was ihm geistig versagt und durch äußerliche Umstände vorenthalten blieb.  | Winning entries could not be determined in this language pair.There were 64 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 7 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. Not enough votes were submitted by peers for a winning entry to be determined.
Competition in this pair is now closed. |
The next day was the wedding. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, as if she saw her sad fate before her, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around, self-assured and smiling scornfully. The fact was, there was no creature on God’s earth to whom he did not feel superior.
Once the wedding meal was finished, Engelhart was packed off outside with the other children. The garden behind the house was delightful, full of apple and cherry trees. Impelled by a nagging desire for attention, Engelhart separated himself from the company and strode back and forth at the end of the garden in imitation of the adults. As he had subconsciously hoped, the youngest cousin followed him, took up position opposite him and stared at him silently with twinkling, dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he must have heard a few times but had not really taken in. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, and everyone called her Esmee. The situation awakened Engelhart’s stinging envy anew, and he began to brag. A lying spirit overcame him, leaving him powerless over his delusional speech, and Esmee, who had stared at him in bewilderment, ran from him laughing mockingly.
Around this time, although there was still a year before he was obliged to attend school, his parents resolved to place him in a preparatory class, taught by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talents and cherished great expectations for his future, was impatient for him to enter the circle of life, to see him drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and arduous youth. Still in the first years of his marriage, he loved profound conversations and good books, maintaining an effusive esteem for everything that had been denied to him intellectually and of which he remained deprived through extrinsic circumstances. | Entry #20278 — Discuss  0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.61 | 3.64 (22 ratings) | 3.58 (19 ratings) |
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took up position opposite him | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
brag | Good term selection | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
Around this time, although there was still a year before he was obliged to attend school, his parents resolved to place him in a preparatory class, taught by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm. | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
cherished | Good term selection | traduck No agrees/disagrees | |
- 8 users entered 12 "dislike" tags
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- 9 users disagreed with "dislikes" (18 total disagrees)
-7 3 next day | Mistranslations
Am anderen Tag is a date in the past NOT the future | Elisabeth Moser | |
-3 2 , | Punctuation
can omit this comma | oa_xxx (X) | |
+2 2 Mr. | Spelling
Normally written Mr in British English | Eric Zink | |
-4 +1 4 meal | Mistranslations
As a celebratory event, I would use something more festive. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
| Mistranslations
"Twinkling" has very different emotional connotations than "anblitzen". | Eric Zink | |
called | Other
Confusing use of "called" for two different purposes in this sentence. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 awakened | Other
reawakened would have saved the sentence | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
Engelhart’s stinging envy anew | Syntax
sounds awkward | Claire Vaux No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling
Normally spelled Mr in British English | Eric Zink | |
|
The wedding took place the next day. The bride wept audibly during the ceremony, as though anticipating her dismal fate. The bridegroom, meanwhile, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around him confidently, a mocking smile on his face. It was clear that there was nothing and no-one on God’s earth to whom he did not feel superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a charming garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Driven by a vague impulse to stand out from the crowd, Engelhart detached himself from the rest and paced back and forth in the depths of the garden in a manner copied from the adults. What he had unconsciously envisioned happened; the youngest girl cousin followed, planted herself opposite him, and fixed him silently with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her her name, which he had probably heard several times, but never really grasped. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, and everyone called her Esmee. This information reawakened Engelhart’s nagging jealousy, and he began to boast. The web of lies he wove enveloped him until, eventually, he became powerless to resist telling tall tales. Esmee, who had been gazing at him in astonishment, gave a scornful laugh and ran off.
Even though compulsory school attendance was still a year away, it was around this time that Engelhart's parents decided to send him to a preparation class taught by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who thought very highly of Engelhart’s abilities and who nurtured great ambitions for his son’s future, was eager to see him participate in life; to watch him drink from the fount of knowledge. He remembered his own deprived and difficult youth. During the first few years of his marriage, he still loved meaningful conversation and good books, and he maintained a rapturous admiration for everything he was denied intellectually and of which, due to extraneous circumstances, he remained deprived. | Entry #21221 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.72 | 3.80 (20 ratings) | 3.63 (16 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 8 "like" tags
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+2 It was clear that there was nothing and no-one on God’s earth to whom he did not feel superior. | Flows well | Dorothy Schaps | |
planted herself opposite him | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
reawakened Engelhart’s nagging jealousy | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
and he began to boast. | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 powerless to resist telling tall tales | Good term selection | Clive Phillips | |
+1 who thought very highly of Engelhart’s abilities and who nurtured great ambitions for his son’s future | Flows well | Sue Stewart-Anderson (X) | |
-1 +1 1 he maintained a rapturous admiration for everything he was denied intellectually and of which, due to extraneous circumstances, he remained deprived. | Flows well | Dorothy Schaps | |
- 7 users entered 21 "dislike" tags
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-1 +2 2 The bridegroom, meanwhile, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, | Syntax | Ana Maria Edlin | |
It was clear | Inconsistencies
Not present in the source text. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +1 3 he rest | Mistranslations
Not an adequate translation for "Gesellschaft". | Ana Maria Edlin | |
-4 +1 3 manner | Mistranslations
Not an adequate translation of "Gangart". | Ana Maria Edlin | |
-2 +2 3 the youngest girl cousin | Other
'girl cousin' doesn't seem very natural. The fact that she is a girl can be made clear later on by using 'her' or 'she'. | Dorothy Schaps | |
+2 1 fixed | Mistranslations
Inadequate for 'anblitzen'. 'Flashed her dark eyes' or similar is needed. | Clive Phillips | |
-3 2 grasped | Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped, names are registered. | Eric Zink | |
was called | Other
Confusing use of "called" for two different purposes in this sentence. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 and | Syntax
but is more appropriate as it is set against her actual name | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
. E | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 gave a scornful laugh and ran off | Mistranslations
Minor, but strictly speaking, the English translation gives a scenario where the laugh comes first and the running second, while the German indicates that the two actions happened simultaneously. | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 Even though compulsory school attendance was still a year away | Other
This does not work well before "around this time". It is a condition that could be expected to affect the parents' decision, and should be placed near the verb expressing that decision. | Eric Zink | |
| Syntax
preparatory | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
; | Punctuation
Should be a comma (language following a semicolon should have the structure of a complete sentence). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
During the first few years of his marriage, he still loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first few years of his marriage, "during" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had still loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 extraneous | Mistranslations
It should be "external". "Extraneous" means irrelevant or superflous. | Catherine Demaison-Doherty | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the ceremony the bride was heard to weep as if she could foresee her sad destiny, while the bridegroom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around with self-confidence and a scornful smile. The fact was that there was no creature on God's earth to whom he would not have felt superior.
Once the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. It was a charming garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Driven by the vague urge to draw attention to himself, Engelhart pulled away from the group and began pacing the depths of the garden in a manner borrowed from the adults. That which he had subconsciously wished for came to pass: the youngest cousin followed, stood facing him, and glared at him with her dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he must already have heard a few times yet had not understood. She was called Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and was known as Esmee. This circumstance prompted a reawakening of Engelhart's tingling envy, and he started to make boastful speeches. Overcome by a desire to lie, he finally stood powerless in the face of his own crazed ramblings, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, laughed derisively as she ran away.
Around this time his parents made the decision to send him, although he had one more year before his attendance at school would be required by law, to a preparatory class led by an old schoolmaster named Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who set great store by Engelhart's talent and had great expectations of his future, was impatient to see him take his place in the cycle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, full of deprivation and effort. In the first years of his marriage he still loved meaty discussions and good books, maintaining an enthusiastic respect for everything that was beyond his intellectual reach, and that, due to external circumstances, remained withheld from him. | Entry #18455 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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| Entry | 3.60 | 3.38 (21 ratings) | 3.82 (17 ratings) |
- 6 users entered 10 "like" tags
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+2 as if she could foresee her sad destiny | Good term selection | Clive Phillips | |
+1 vague urge to draw attention to himself | Flows well | philgoddard | |
pacing the depths of the garden in a manner borrowed from the adults. | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
Overcome by a desire to lie, | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 stood powerless in the face of his own crazed ramblings | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
- 8 users entered 16 "dislike" tags
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-3 +1 2 to wee | Grammar errors
weeping | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
-2 1 he would not have felt | Mistranslations
This does not convey the mood (Konjunktiv II) of the German | Ana Maria Edlin | |
+1 1 feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli | |
-1 1 depths | Mistranslations
Tiefe here means the bottom, or far end, of the garden | AnYulan Trans | |
borrowed | Other
slightly awkward term | traduck No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors
A possessive adjective is needed in English. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
-1 1 followed, stood facing him, | Other
Much too literal, breaking the rhythm you had so well established. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
-1 1 understood | Mistranslations
Names are not understood ("hear" is usually used for that content). "Register" would work well here. | Eric Zink | |
+2 although he had one more year before his attendance at school would be required by law | Syntax
Overly long (too long to select!) due to awkward placement of subclause | Tamsin Compton | |
+1 would be required by law | Other
Too pedantic. Something like "was required" (or "would be required") would be enough. No need to state the legislation involved .... | D. I. Verrelli | |
meaty | Other
"meaty" seems an odd adjective to use here - not usual or colloquial in English | Hilary Davies Shelby No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place the next day. During the marriage ceremony, the bride could be heard crying – it seemed as if she were prescient of the sad fate that awaited her – while the groom, one Mr Peter Salomon Curius, wore a derisive smirk as he looked around self-assuredly. The fact was that no creature on God's green earth existed to which he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding breakfast was over, Engelhart was sent outdoors with the other children. Behind the house was a delightful garden full of apple and cherry trees. Feeling a vague urge to be noticed, Engelhart separated himself from the crowd and strode back and forth in the depths of the garden, emulating the way the adults walked. As he did so, what transpired was the very thing he had envisaged at an unconscious level: the youngest cousin followed him, moved face-to-face with him and gazed at him silently through her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked what her name was; it was a name he had doubtless heard several times already but never actually taken in. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, and she went by the name Esmee. This fact rekindled Engelhart's burning jealousy and he began to boast. The spirit of deception came over him; eventually he found himself powerless in the face of his delusional blathering, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, laughed mockingly as she ran away.
It was at that time that his parents took the decision to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher called Herschkamm, even though Engelhart still had a year left before compulsory schooling began. Mr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart's talent and harboured high expectations for his future, was eager to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought of his own youth full of hardship and labour. Still in the first few years of his marriage, he loved conversations of substance and good books, and he retained an ardent sense of respect for everything of an intellectual nature which he had been denied and which, because of external circumstances, remained out of his reach. | Entry #21634 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.48 | 3.32 (25 ratings) | 3.63 (19 ratings) |
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doubtless heard several times already | Good term selection
eloquent inclusion of "doubtless". | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
and she went by the name Esmee | Good term selection | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
better than the other attempts tho I would leave out spirit | oa_xxx (X) | |
powerless in the face of | Flows well
I would have rounded off with "... his _own_ ..." | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
laughed mockingly as she ran away | Good term selection | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 everything of an intellectual nature which he had been denied and which, because of external circumstances, remained out of his reach. | Flows well | Catherine Demaison-Doherty | |
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-1 +2 1 – it seemed as if she were prescient of the sad fate that awaited her – | Punctuation
No need for a clause set off by dashes here | Eric Zink | |
existed | Other
"There was" would work better here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
Maybe it's simply a matter of taste, but this sounds very awkward to my ears. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
| Mistranslations
Depth is an overly literal translation and sounds awkward. | S4S Translation | |
+1 As he did so, what transpired was the very thing he had envisaged at an unconscious level | Other
Bit of a mess | S4S Translation | |
-1 1 what transpired was | Other
Awkward construction -- not need for "what " and "was". | Eric Zink | |
+2 envisaged at an unconscious level | Mistranslations
"Envisage" doesn't seem to be something you can do unconsciously. | Eric Zink | |
the | Grammar errors
his cousin (or sombody else's cousin) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 moved face-to-face | Mistranslations
"Face-to-face" involves a proxmity that "gegenüber" does not. | Eric Zink | |
+3 2 gazed at | Mistranslations
This does not convey the sense of "blintze". | Ana Maria Edlin | |
| Inconsistencies
I would think 'with' would be more appropriate | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
-1 1 it was a name | Other
overly convoluted construction | Eric Zink | |
-2 2 laughed mockingly as she ran away | Inconsistencies
I have trouble with the order here, one of these verbs, preferable 'laugh' should be in the -ing form....laughing mockingly as she ran away. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
that time | Other
"this time". "that time" suggests that a time has just been mentioned and is now being referred back to. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
high | Other
I wouldn't use the same adjective twice in such close proximity | Ramey Rieger (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 high | Other
I wouldn't use the same adjective twice in such close proximity | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
| Inconsistencies
I think using such a word would necessitate the whole text to be translated in the same, archaic/literary style. Which I personally don't feel this is. Nice word though. | S4S Translation | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the wedding the bride was heard weeping, as if anticipating her tragic fate, while the bridegroom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around confidently with a scornful smile on his lips. The truth was there wasn't a creature on God's earth to which he wouldn't have felt superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a beautiful garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Driven by a vague desire to be noticed, Engelhart detached himself from the others and paced back and forth at the bottom of the garden, in the gait he had learnt by imitating the adults. What he had hoped would happen in doing so, happened; the youngest cousin followed him, faced him and glared at him, dark-eyed and silent. After a while Engelhart asked her her name, which he had probably already heard several times, but not actually remembered. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, but people called her Esmee. This fact aroused Engelhart's burning jealousy anew, and he began to boast. His desire to lie overcame him; in the end he was helpless in the face of his delirious ramblings, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in surprise, ran away laughing derisively.
Around this time, although it would be another year before it was compulsory for him to go to school, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class, taught by an old teacher called Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who thought much of Engelhart's abilities and had high expectations of his future, was impatient to see him enter the world of learning and drink from the proverbial fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived, difficult youth. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved meaningful discussion and good books and retained a fervent respect for everything that eluded him intellectually and of which he was deprived by external circumstances. | Entry #20816 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
Naomi Solleveld (X)Ujedinjeno Kraljevstvo Finalist | Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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| Entry | 3.63 | 3.52 (27 ratings) | 3.74 (23 ratings) |
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+2 faced him and glared at him, dark-eyed and silent | Flows well | Ayla Pariyar | |
+3 aroused Engelhart's burning jealousy anew, and he began to boast. | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
desire to lie | Flows well
better than spirits, might prefer "The desire to lie..." | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
in the end he was helpless in the face of his delirious ramblings | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 retained a fervent respect for everything that eluded him intellectually and of which he was deprived by external circumstances. | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
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-6 4 The next day was the wedding. | Syntax
The wedding was the next day. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
+1 1 feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli | |
-4 2 he others | Mistranslations
Not an adequate translation of "Gesellschaft". | Ana Maria Edlin | |
the | Inconsistencies
A minor point, but "a" would seem closer to the ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
he had learnt by imitating | Inconsistencies
Suggests that he learned by imitation, but I think the ST indicates he learned by observing (and applied this as imitation). | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+7 2 What he had hoped would happen in doing so, happened | Other
Awkward | philgoddard | |
| Punctuation
Don't separate subject and verb with a comma. | Eric Zink | |
+3 2 the | Mistranslations
"his youngest cousin"; the possessive adjective is necessary is English. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
-1 1 her | Syntax
once is enough | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
surprise | Mistranslations
"wonderment" etc. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
it would be another year before it was | Other
I wouldn't use "it" twice in the same clause | traduck No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 , | Punctuation
the indefinite pronoun sets up a defining clause which cannot be set off by a comma | Eric Zink | |
|
The wedding was the following day. The bride could be heard crying during the ceremony, it seemed as though she could foretell the sorry fate awaiting her. Meanwhile her groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, wore a smile approaching a sneer as he looked around the room self-assuredly. As well he might, for there was no creature on all of God’s earth he did not feel superior to.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. Behind the house was a charming garden filled with apple and cherry trees. A vague hankering for attention prompted Engelhart to break away from the others and pace up and down at the bottom of a garden in a mannerism he had picked up from the adults. What he had subconsciously been hoping for then came to pass: the youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him and fixed her dark eyes on him wordlessly. After a while Engelhart asked her for her name, which he had heard a number of times but had never quite been able to grasp. She was called Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she went by the name Esmee. On hearing this, Engelhart felt a hot jealousy rising within him, and he began to hold forth grandly, overcome by a desire to tell untruths. Soon, the wild stories he was spinning got the better of him and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran from the scene with an unkind laugh.
Around this time, though he was still a year off the age for compulsory schooling, Engelhart’s parents elected to send him to a preparatory school run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who held Engelhart’s talents in the highest esteem and had high hopes for the boy’s future, was anxious to see his son drink from the fount of learning and embark on a life of scholarship. He thought back to his own austere and arduous youth. Right until the early years of his marriage he had been a lover of conversations of substance and good books, and still regarded with a zealous awe anything that was beyond him intellectually or kept out of reach by material circumstances. | Entry #17296 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.58 | 3.74 (23 ratings) | 3.42 (19 ratings) |
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+3 2 As well he might, for there was no creature on all of God’s earth he did not feel superior to. | Flows well | philgoddard | |
Behind the house was a charming garden filled with apple and cherry trees | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 vague hankering for attention | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
+1 in a mannerism he had picked up from the adults. | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
-1 +1 1 and he began to hold forth grandly, overcome by a desire to tell untruths. | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
-1 +1 1 wild stories he was spinning got the better of him | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
+1 austere and arduous youth | Flows well
nice! | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
regarded with a zealous awe | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
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+3 2 , it | Grammar errors
This is a run-on sentence -- a conjunction would be need here to fix that. | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 foretell the sorry fate awaiting her | Other
I have difficulty with foretell and awaiting her, it seems not only redundant, but inelegant. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 1 in a mannerism | Grammar errors
'with a mannerism' or 'in a manner'. | Clive Phillips | |
-3 2 then | Other
Ambiguous. Does this go with "had been hoping for" or "came to pass"? | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 fixed her dark eyes on him | Mistranslations
Does not capture the meaning of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 her | Other
Unnecessary and interrupts the flow. | Eric Zink | |
never quite been able | Mistranslations
Doesn't quite seem to match source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 2 grasp | Spelling
Concepts are grasped; names are registered. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 from the scene | Other
Not much of a scene. Why not just "ran off"? | Eric Zink | |
-1 +2 2 unkind | Mistranslations
doesn't capture the meaning of "spöttisch" | Eric Zink | |
-2 1 a year off the age | Syntax
He can't be a year off, his age is always his age. IT was a year off, if you have to use 'off'. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
| Mistranslations
Class or course, not necessarily at a school. | Clive Phillips | |
his son | Mistranslations
strictly speaking we don't this is his son from this text | Catherine Atkinson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 embark on a life of scholarship | Other
"In den Kreis des Lebens eintreten" is indeed a tricky bit to translate, but this doesn't do it. | Eric Zink | |
Right until | Mistranslations
There is nothing to indicate that anything changed in the first years of his marriage. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
kept | Mistranslations
'kept' is superfluous and does not reflect the ST. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the following day. Throughout the ceremony the bride was heard weeping, in anticipation perhaps of her woeful fate, while the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked out upon those around him with a smug and scornful little smile. The fact of the matter was that there was not a single creature on the face of God’s earth to whom he did not know himself to be superior.
When the wedding meal was over, Engelhart was sent outdoors with the other children. There was a delightful garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Driven by a dully sensed desire to be noticed, Engelhart moved away from the rest of the group and, in a gait learned from his surreptitious observations of the adults, strode gravely back and forth in the depths of the garden. And what his mind had unconsciously hoped to create came about: the youngest of the female cousins followed him, took up a position in front of him and gazed silently at him from sparkling dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had already heard several times but had not really understood. She was named Esmeralda, she said, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and was called Esmee. On hearing this Engelhart was vexed anew by the stings of jealousy, and he began to boast about himself. The spirit of deceitfulness overcame him, and he was powerless to stop the specious words that spewed from his mouth, until Esmee, who had been staring at him in amazement, ran off with a mocking laugh.
Around this time his parents decided that although he still had a year to go before he would be required to begin school, he should be sent to a preparatory class given by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who held a very high opinion of Engelhart’s gifts and believed he was destined for great things, was impatient to see him step into the circle of life, to drink from the waters of knowledge. He thought back to his own youth marked by deprivation and difficulties. Even into the first years of his marriage he held onto his love of meaningful conversations and good books, and retained an effusive respect for everything that had been withheld from him intellectually and continued to be denied him by outward circumstances. | Entry #17459 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
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| Entry | 3.65 | 3.71 (21 ratings) | 3.59 (17 ratings) |
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| Good term selection
Nice word choice | billcorno (X) | |
+1 1 from his surreptitious observations of the adults | Good term selection
captures "abgelauschten" well | Marcus Malabad | |
The spirit of deceitfulness overcame him, and he was powerless to stop the specious words that spewed from his mouth | Good term selection
very good | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
The spirit of deceitfulness overcame him | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
words that spewed from his mouth | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 believed he was destined for great things | Good term selection
probably better than the more literal "great expectations" | Eric Zink | |
Even into the first years of his marriage he held onto | Flows well | Jane Eggers No agrees/disagrees | |
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those around him | Inconsistencies
Not present in the source text. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 with a smug and scornful little smile | Syntax
"selbstbewußt" omitted | Marcus Malabad | |
| Syntax
nothing to indicate the size of the smile in the source text | Eric Zink | |
+2 to whom he did not know himself to be superior | Syntax
Why ignore the subjunctive? And translating "sich gefühlt" as "knowing"? | Marcus Malabad | |
| Other
poor word choice -- bring about would work better | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
appears to be an attempt to approximate "blitzte", but it doesn't work. | Eric Zink | |
-2 1 understood | Syntax
poor word choice -- a name is not something that generally needs to be understood (the word "hear" indicates that a name has been perceived correctly). | Eric Zink | |
-2 +1 3 , she said | Other
extraneous, slows down text flow | Eric Zink | |
specious | Other
Sorry, I just find this jarring to apply to a child's blathering/boasting. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 until | Inconsistencies
Doesn't match ST. Suggests he regained control once she ran off, but we don't know that. | D. I. Verrelli | |
should be | Inconsistencies
Translation leaves open the possibility that (for some reason) they wouldn't actually do it. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 youth marked | Punctuation
should be separated by a comma | Eric Zink | |
|
Non-finalist entries The following entries were not selected by peers to advance to finals-round voting. The wedding took place the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, as if she already knew what sad fate awaited her, while the bridegroom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around self-confidently and smiling superciliously. The fact was that there was no creature on God's earth to whom he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding breakfast was over, Engelhart was sent outside along with the other children. It was a delightful garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. With some vague idea of being noticed, Engelhart split off from the rest of the company and strutted up and down in the depths of the garden with a gait modelled on the adults. What had been in his subconscious then actually happened: the youngest cousin followed him, stood to face him in silence and flashed her dark eyes at him. After a short while, Engelhart asked her her name, which he had certainly heard several times, but had not understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmée. This gave rise to renewed jealousy on Engelhart's part, and he started boasting. The spirit of lies overtook him and finally he was powerless to stem his insane ramblings and Esmée, who had been staring at him in amazement, ran off laughing derisively.
It was at about this time that his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class held by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm, although compulsory education was still a year away. Herr Ratgeber, who thought very highly of Engelhart's abilities and entertained great hopes for his future, was impatient to see him join the circle of life and drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought back to his own deprived and arduous youth. In the first years of his marriage he still enjoyed serious conversation and good books, and he retained an enthusiastic respect for everything denied him both intellectually and by force of circumstance. | Entry #18200 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.45 | 3.50 (18 ratings) | 3.40 (15 ratings) |
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+1 although compulsory education was still a year away | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
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-2 2 , | Punctuation
comma not necessary | oa_xxx (X) | |
-1 1 what sad fate | Syntax
the sad fate that... | castorp18 | |
-2 +1 2 and smiling superciliously | Punctuation
Since there are endless commas, the rhythm would be better maintained with a comma after self-confidently. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
+4 1 vague idea of being noticed | Mistranslations
More a desire to BE noticed, or stand out. | AnYulan Trans | |
-2 1 then | Syntax
ambiguous -- which verb does it modify? | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 stood to face him | Other
not idiomatic | Eric Zink | |
-2 +1 2 her | Other
Only one "her" necessary; adding a second disrupts the flow of the text | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 1 understood | Syntax
incorrect term | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 2 Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid unnecessary repetition. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 wife o | Other
Typical German error - Uncle Michael's wife | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
| Spelling
As it's a title, this should be capitalized. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
+2 1 Esmée | Spelling
Where does the accent come from? | Eric Zink | |
jealousy | Omission
Missing translation of "prickelnde". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
on Engelhart's part | Other
This feels a bit more 'impersonal' than the ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
The spirit of lies overtook him | Other
Awkward/unnatural phrasing. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
finally | Mistranslations
"in/at/by the end" | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
held | Syntax
Not sure if it's just me, but use of "held" makes me think it's a single lesson, whereas from the source I expected a series of lessons. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
both intellectually and by force of circumstance | Mistranslations
This would make "intellectually" a way in which something was denied him when in fact it is a sort of thing that was denied him. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. During the ceremony, the bride could be heard crying, seemingly in anticipation of a sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, gazed self-confidently around, smiling scornfully. The thing was that there was no creature on God's green earth to which he did not feel superior.
When the wedding dinner was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. Behind the house was a lovely garden full of apple and cherry trees. In order to attract attention in the hullaballoo, Engelhart separated himself from the company and, aping a gait he had observed in the grown-ups, strode back and forth in the depths of the garden. What he had unconsciously desired came to pass: his youngest cousin followed him and, taking up a position opposite, glared at him in silence with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had heard several times, but not really registered. It was Esmeralda; she was named after the wife of Uncle Michael, who lived in Vienna, but people called her Esmee. This circumstance rekindled Engelhart's prickly jealousy, and he began boastfully to hold forth. The spirit of duplicity overcame him, and in the end he was helpless against his flights of fancy; Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran off, laughing derisively.
Around this time, although there was still a year before he was required to go to school, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class presided over by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought a great deal of Engelhart's gifts and harbored great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the spring of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, full of trouble and privation. In the first few years of his marriage, he still loved weighty discussions and good books and retained an enthusiastic respect for everything that his mind had been denied and external circumstances had withheld from him. | Entry #21700 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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| Entry | 3.31 | 3.35 (23 ratings) | 3.26 (19 ratings) |
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+4 aping a gait he had observed in the grown-ups | Good term selection | Clive Phillips | |
strode back and forth in the depths of the garden | Flows well | Tatijana Kostovska No agrees/disagrees | |
This circumstance rekindled Engelhart's prickly jealousy | Flows well | Tatijana Kostovska No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 in the end he was helpless against his flights of fancy | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
Around this time, although there was still a year before he was required to go to school, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class presided over by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm. | Flows well
Reads well. "attend" might have suited the tone better than "go to"? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
who thought a great deal of Engelhart's gifts and harbored great expectations for his future, | Flows well | Tatijana Kostovska No agrees/disagrees | |
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-4 3 self-confidently around | Syntax
gazed self-consciously around him or gazed around self-consciously | Jutta Scherer | |
+3 1 In order to | Omission
'In dem dumpfen Trieb' not translated. | Clive Phillips | |
-1 +3 2 hullaballoo, | Mistranslations
Wondering if this is a mistranslation of "dumpfer Trieb" | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
boastfully to hold forth | Other
Would be less bumpy if the adverb was placed behind the verb. | Ramey Rieger (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 see | Mistranslations
to "have" him, ot to "let" him might be more suitable here | Tatijana Kostovska | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the ceremony one could hear the bride crying, as though anticipating her sad future, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, self-confident and snidely smiling, looked all around. The fact was that there was no creature on God's earth to whom he did not feel superior.
When the wedding dinner was over, Engelhart and the rest of the children were sent outside. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. With a nagging urge to attract attention, Engelhart split off from the crowd and strode, with a grownup-borrowed gait, back and forth across the bottom of the garden. What he had unwittingly hoped for happened: the youngest cousin followed him, parked herself in front of him, and glared at him silently with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had surely heard before but had never quite registered. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This fact reignited Engelhart’s prickling envy, and he began to prattle boastfully. The spirit of lying came over him; he wound up helpless in the face of his delusional rambling, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away in a fit of laughter.
About this time his parents resolved to send him, even though he had another year to go before attending school was obligatory, to a prep school led by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Mr. Counselor, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talents and entertained great hopes for his future, was eager to push him into the circle of life, to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought back on his own deprived and troubled childhood. Even in the early years of his marriage he had loved deep conversations and good books, and he harbored an infatuated admiration for everything that was denied to him intellectually and was still withheld from him by external circumstances. | Entry #21134 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.27 | 3.16 (19 ratings) | 3.38 (16 ratings) |
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snidely smiling | Flows well
Nice sibilance though odd sequence. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
The fact was that there was no creature on God's earth to whom he did not feel superior. | Flows well | Tatijana Kostovska No agrees/disagrees | |
registered | Good term selection | Mary Worby No agrees/disagrees | |
prattle boastfully | Good term selection | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 helpless in the face of his delusional rambling | Good term selection | S4S Translation | |
fit of laughter | Good term selection | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
harbored an infatuated admiration | Good term selection | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
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+1 1 one could hear | Other
What's wrong with passive? | Eric Zink | |
-1 +3 3 grownup-borrowed | Other
This term is unclear and in any case does not convey the idea that this gait mimicked a specific set of grown-ups. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Circumlocution might have been better served here. | S4S Translation | |
-2 +2 2 bottom | Mistranslations
"Bottom" indicates the lowest altitude, but "Tiefe" does not in this context. "Depths" would work. | Eric Zink | |
-1 +3 1 parked herself | Other
too colloquial | Eric Zink | |
-2 2 Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid unnecessary repetition. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 and she was called Esmee | Mistranslations
..."people called her Esmee" is not as much of a repetition. I'm not sure if you mean the aunt was Esmee which isn't what's meant. | S4S Translation | |
| Omission
Good use of fit of laughter but you've left out the mocking element (and grounding) of her laughter. | S4S Translation | |
, even though | Other
Placement of this clause feels awkward. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
"school attendance", clearly a noun phrase, would make it easier to read this sentence. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
a class or course, not a school | Eric Zink | |
+5 2 Counselor | Other
no need to translate the name | Jane Eggers | |
|
The wedding took place on the following day. At the ceremony the bride could be heard crying; it seemed as though she sensed what sad fate lay in store for her, while the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around confidently, sneering. The thing was, there was not a single creature on God’s earth he would not have felt superior to.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart and the other children were sent outside. It was a lovely garden in the rear of the house, filled with apple and cherry trees. Out of a hollow urge to attract attention, Engelhart detached himself from the party and began pacing back and forth in the depths of the garden, sporting a gait he had picked up from the grown-ups. What he had unconsciously envisaged happened at last; his youngest cousin followed him and stood face to face with him, glaring at him silently with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had heard a few times but had failed to grasp. It was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and everyone called her Esmee. This circumstance once again aroused Engelhart’s tingling jealousy, and he began to brag and boast. The lying spirit came over him and in the end he was powerless to his own delusional babble. Esmee, who had stared at him in bewilderment, ran away with a mocking laugh.
It was around that time that his parents made a decision: Although he had another year to go before he would be due to start school, he was to attend a preparatory class led by an old teacher named Mr. Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and had great expectations with regard to his future, was impatiently waiting to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the well of knowledge. He was reminded of his own boyhood with all its deprivations and troubles. Even in the first few years of his marriage, he loved substantive conversations and good books, maintaining an enthusiastic esteem for everything he had missed out on intellectually, everything that had been denied to him by external circumstances. | Entry #21286 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.23 | 3.13 (15 ratings) | 3.33 (12 ratings) |
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detached himself | Good term selection | Mary Worby No agrees/disagrees | |
he began to brag and boast | Flows well
Nice turn of phrase for this. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
delusional babble | Good term selection
Nice touch for "wahnvollen Gerede" | billcorno (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
an old teacher named Mr. Herschkamm | Flows well
In English it is certainly much more common to refer to teachers with title+surname, rather than by surname alone, so this is a laudable minor departure from a literal translation of the source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 1 it seemed as though she sensed | Syntax
She seemed to sense.... | Pat Novotny (X) | |
The thing was, | Other
Sounds too casual to me. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
at last | Inconsistencies
Not present in ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
; | Punctuation
ST has ";", but colon works better in English here. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 face to face | Mistranslations
"Face to face" implies a proximity that "gegenüber" does not. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 grasp | Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped; names are registered. | Eric Zink | |
-4 4 the wife of Uncle Michael | Other
"Uncle Michael's wife" is more natural. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
+2 1 powerless to | Grammar errors
This combination makes no sense. "Powerless" plus a to infinitive work work, but not plus to plus noun clause. | Eric Zink | |
-2 +2 3 : Although | Punctuation
Capital letter only at start of sentence. | Clive Phillips | |
+1 Even in the first few years of his marriage, he loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first few years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had loved". | Eric Zink | |
|
The wedding took place the next day. The bride could be heard to cry during the ceremony; it was as if she sensed the sad fate in store for her while the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked about himself assertively and with a mocking smile. The thing was: there was no creature on God's earth to which he did not feel superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Driven by the primitive urge to garner attention, Engelhart took leave of the crowd and paced up and down at the bottom of the garden in a manner copied from the adults. That which had been his unconscious wish came to pass; his youngest cousin followed him, stood opposite him and silently flashed her dark eyes at him.
After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had heard a few times without fully comprehending it. She was called Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and her nickname was Esmee. This fact once again roused Engelharts burning jealousy, and he began to make boastful speeches. The spirit of mendacity took possession of him, and in the end, he was helpless against his own delusional talk while Esmee, who had been staring at him in amazement, ran away with mocking laughter.
It was around this time, even though there was a year left before he would be required to go to school, that his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher called Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelharts talent and had high hopes for his future, was impatient to see him enter the circle of life, to see him drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, which had been filled with privation and strife. Even in these first years of his marriage, he loved deep conversation and good books and held a fawning admiration for everything which eluded him intellectually and was denied to him by external circumstances. | Entry #15607 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.16 | 2.85 (20 ratings) | 3.47 (17 ratings) |
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+2 1 there was no creature on God's earth to which he did not feel superior. | Good term selection
Good choice and translation | S4S Translation | |
-1 1 Driven by the primitive urge to garner attention | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
+1 The spirit of mendacity took possession of him | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
which eluded him intellectually | Good term selection | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
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-3 2 The bride could be heard to cry during the ceremony; | Other
During the ceremony, the bride-to-be's sobbing was not to be overheard | Yorkshireman | |
+2 1 in store for her while the groom | Other
There needs to be a comma between her and while to clarify the meaning, but the construction (with the previous semicolon) makes such a sentence unwieldy. In short, this construction does not work. | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 2 her while | Grammar errors
needs a semicolon if used previously | S4S Translation | |
+1 1 The thing was: | Other
This could be omitted in English to make the sentence more aesthetically pleasing and clever. | S4S Translation | |
| Punctuation
"that" would be far more natural here | Eric Zink | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
primitive | Inconsistencies
Not in source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
took leave of the crowd | Inconsistencies
Doesn't really match the ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 That which had been his unconscious wish came to pass | Other
Rather clunky. 'came to pass' is rather Biblical. | Clive Phillips | |
-2 +1 3 comprehending | Mistranslations
Names are not usually comprehended, but registered. | Eric Zink | |
, | Punctuation
Better without comma here. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
high | Other
Two forms of "high" in the same sentence? No variety? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, seemingly sensing her sad fate already, while the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, surveyed the scene confidently, with a sneering grin. Fact was that there was no creature on God's Earth to whom he did not consider himself superior.
At the end of the wedding feast, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. A lovely garden stretched behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Following his dull urge to stand out, Engelhart separated himself from the group and paced back and forth in the depth of the garden with a stride he had gleaned from the grown-ups. The thing his subconscious desired came true: the youngest cousin followed him, confronted him and silently glared at him with dark eyes. After a few moments, Engelhart asked for her name, which he had heard a few times before but never really understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Wien, and people called her Esmee. This circumstance rekindled the burning jealousy within Engelhart and he started holding forth boastfully. The lies started spewing forth uncontrollably until he finally succumbed to his delusional ramblings, and Esmee, who had stared at him in wonder, ran away, laughing mockingly.
Right around this time, his parents made the decision to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher with the name of Herschkamm, even though Engelhart still had a year to go until he was required to attend school. Mr. Ratgeber, who took great pride in Engelhart's talents and who nurtured great expectations in his future, was impatient to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fount of knowledge. He was thinking of his own youth filled with hardship and pain. Through the first few years of his marriage, he still loved substantial conversations and good books, and maintained a romantic respect for anything his spirit had been denied and which he had lacked due to external circumstances. | Entry #16709 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.16 | 3.08 (24 ratings) | 3.24 (21 ratings) |
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surveyed the scene | Good term selection | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 rekindled the burning jealousy | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
-1 +3 1 The lies started spewing forth uncontrollably until he finally succumbed to his delusional ramblings | Flows well | philgoddard | |
- 6 users entered 18 "dislike" tags
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+3 1 Fact was | Other
Low register for this text. | Eric Zink | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +2 2 group | Other
Inadequate translation of "Gesellschaft". Party, guests, reception... | Ana Maria Edlin | |
| Mistranslations
"Gait" is much closer to "Gangart". | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Poor choice of vocabulary: "glean" does not generally mean anything like "mimic". | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 The thing his subconscious desired | Other
what he subconsciously imagined | Tatijana Kostovska | |
| Mistranslations
Does not capture the meaning of "stellte sich ihm gegenüber" (only of "stellte sich ihm"). | Eric Zink | |
few moments | Other
Why not just "while"? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 understood | Mistranslations
Names are not generally understood (the verb "hear" is used for that content). "Register" would work much better here. | Eric Zink | |
holding forth boastfully | Spelling
Strange phrase. Also, forth is repeated only a few words later. | Leanne Cvetan No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 Through the first few years of his marriage, he still loved substantial conversations and good books | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first few years of his marriage, "through" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had still loved". | Eric Zink | |
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On the following day was the wedding. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying as though she already presaged her sad fate. Meanwhile the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around with an arrogant, scornful grin. There was truly no creature on God’s earth that he would not have felt superior to.
When the wedding feast had ended, Engelhart was sent out into the open with the other children. There was a charming garden at the back of the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In the vague desire to stand out, Engelhart separated himself from the company and paced up and down at the bottom of the garden in the manner he had observed one of the adults walking. The reaction, which he had unconsciously hoped to cause by doing this, occurred; his youngest cousin followed him, placed herself opposite him and flashed her dark eyes at him in silence. After a while, Engelhart asked her for her name, which he had probably heard a few times but never really grasped. She was named Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This fact rekindled a thrill of jealousy in Englehart and he began to make boastful assertions. The spirit of falsehood came over him and at last he stood there, helpless against his own preposterous chatter. Esmee, who had stared at him in astonishment, ran off with mocking laughter.
Around this time, although he had another year until compulsory schooling, his parents made the decision to send him to a preparatory class run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart’s aptitude and nursed great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him enter the arena of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, full of deprivation and hardship. In the early years of his marriage he still loved serious conversation and good books and he maintained an effusive adulation for all that was intellectually denied to him and withheld from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #18838 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.15 | 3.18 (22 ratings) | 3.11 (19 ratings) |
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+2 1 There was truly no creature on God’s earth that he would not have felt superior to. | Flows well | S4S Translation | |
In the vague desire to stand out | Good term selection
Very good, this part has been mistranslated/misunderstood in most other translations. | Miriam Weiss No agrees/disagrees | |
Around this time, although he had another year until compulsory schooling, his parents made the decision to send him to a preparatory class run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 arena of life | Good term selection
better than "circle", but captures the meaning | Eric Zink | |
- 6 users entered 19 "dislike" tags
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presaged | Mistranslations
Using this word to mean "foresaw" is obsolete/archaic. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
What's wrong with just "outside"? | Eric Zink | |
-2 +1 3 the manner he had observed one of the adults walking | Syntax
This would imply that an adult walked a manner, something that makes no sense. | Eric Zink | |
one of | Inconsistencies
Seems to not relate to one specific adult in the source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 , which he had unconsciously hoped to cause by doing this, | Punctuation
defining relative clauses are not set off by commas | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 her | Other
Unnecessary and disrupts flow | Eric Zink | |
-3 2 grasped | Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped; names are registered | Eric Zink | |
a thrill of | Mistranslations
"a thrill of jealousy" is a strange collocation | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
spirit of falsehood | Other
Awkward/unnatural phrasing. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
chatter | Mistranslations
Not too bad, but I think chatter is mostly between people, rather than predominantly a monologue. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
. E | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
Herr | Spelling
Same thing, why not use "Mr"? | Ayla Pariyar No agrees/disagrees | |
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The wedding was on the following day. The bride could be heard crying during the ceremony, as if she could see her sad fate laid out before her, whilst the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, wore a look of self-confidence and a snide smile. The fact of the matter was that there was no being on God's green earth he wouldn't have felt superior to.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside to play with the other children. There was an enchanting garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In the muffled rush to be noticed, Engelhart withdrew from the others and strolled back and forth deep in the garden in a manner he had learned from the adults. Then precisely that which he had unknowingly had in mind occurred – the youngest cousin followed him, stood before him and silently stared at him with her dark eyes. After a few moments Engelhart asked her her name, which he had probably already heard several times before, but had never really comprehended. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, but people simply called her Esmee. This re-awoke Engelhart's burning jealousy and he set out on a boastful monologue. He was overcome by the need to lie until he was powerless to resist his own manic chattering and Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, ran off, laughing derisively.
It was at around this time that his parents decided, even though there was still a year before he had to go to school, to send him to a preparatory class, run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who believed Engelhart to be incredibly gifted and had great hopes for his future, was impatient for him to enter the real world and to see his thirst for knowledge quenched. He thought back to his own youth, full of hardship and worry. Even in the early years of his marriage he still loved meaningful conversations and good books and paid special heed to anything that he was spiritually denied and deprived of through no fault of his own. | Entry #21479 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.13 | 3.09 (23 ratings) | 3.16 (19 ratings) |
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-1 +5 2 as if she could see her sad fate laid out before her | Flows well | Phoebe Indetzki | |
staring at him in bewilderment | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 who believed Engelhart to be incredibly gifted and had great hopes for his future | Flows well | Rachel Hutcheson | |
- 7 users entered 23 "dislike" tags
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- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (9 total disagrees)
-1 1 on | Spelling
not necessary | oa_xxx (X) | |
. | Omission
Neglected to mention that he was looking around. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 green | Other
"Green" is not part of the German - "God's earth" would have been fine | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
to play | Inconsistencies
Not in source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
Does not adequately convey the idea of mimicry (as opposed to instruction). | Eric Zink | |
| Spelling
colon works much better because it conveys the type of content that will follow | Eric Zink | |
stared | Other
Does not adequately convey the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
few moments | Other
why not just "while"? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 her | Other
Only one "her" necessary; the second disrupts the flow of the text. | Eric Zink | |
-2 1 comprehended | Syntax
Ideas are comprehended; name are registered. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink | |
set out on | Other
Actually I don't exactly 'dislike' this, but it is peculiar to apply it to a monologue. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation
no comma before a defining clause | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 thirst for knowledge quenched | Mistranslations
The source text says nothing about Engelhart's thirst for knowledge (if he has one). | Eric Zink | |
Even in the early years of his marriage he still loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the early years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had still loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was | Grammar errors
had been | Ramey Rieger (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
The context strongly indicates that the correct term is "intellectually". | Eric Zink | |
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The wedding was the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, as though she had a premonition of her doleful destiny awaiting her, whereas the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curious, looked around with a confident, scornful smile on his face — the point being that there was not a single creature on God’s earth, whom he would not have felt superior to.
When the wedding breakfast had finished, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a delightful garden at the back of the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Feeling a vague urge to attract attention to himself, Engelhart separated from the others, and paced up and down at the bottom of the garden in manner he had learned by copying adults. What he had unconsciously intended, actually happened; the youngest cousin followed him, confronted him and silently glared at him with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had probably heard several times before but had not really understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, but they called her Esmee. This fact reawoke a tingling of jealousy in Engelhart and he began talking boastfully. He was overcome by a lying spirit, and was finally powerless in the face of his deluded prattle, while Esmee, who had stared at him in amazement, ran off laughing derisively.
Although he was still one year below the age of mandatory school attendance, it was then that his parents decided to put him in a preparatory class run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart’s abilities and had great hopes for his future, was impatient for him to enter the circle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He remembered the deprivations and difficulties of his own youth. In the first years of his marriage he still loved meaningful conversations and good books, retaining a gushing respect for everything that he had been intellectually denied and deprived of due to external circumstances. | Entry #20512 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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| Entry | 3.11 | 3.05 (22 ratings) | 3.17 (18 ratings) |
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+1 Feeling a vague urge to attract attention to himsel | Flows well | philgoddard | |
+1 1 What he had unconsciously intended, actually happened; | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps | |
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-1 +1 2 During the ceremony | Other
Sentence is way too long, very difficult to follow. | Dorothy Schaps | |
During the ceremony the bride could be | Spelling
Load of people did this... Why not put "the bride" first. One doesn't need to stick to the ST so stringently. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 the bride could be heard crying | Other
the bride's sobbing was not to be overheard | Yorkshireman | |
+7 she had a premonition of her doleful destiny awaiting her | Other
Too many 'hers'. '...a premonition of *the* doleful destiny awaiting her...' | Dorothy Schaps | |
-7 +2 6 breakfast | Mistranslations
very probably not a breakfast | Eric Zink | |
separated | Syntax
I'd prefer "separated himself". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 at the bottom | Mistranslations
in the heart / in the depths | Clive Phillips | |
| Punctuation
Do no separate subject from verb with a comma. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
does not capture "stellte sich ihm gegenüber" | Eric Zink | |
-2 +1 2 glared | Other
glaring implies negative emotion, rather than fascination (which is what I took this to represent) | Claire Vaux | |
-1 +1 1 understood | Mistranslations
Names are not understood -- they are heard (or not). "Registered" would work here. | Eric Zink | |
| Grammar errors
Pronoun reference unclear -- passive would have worked better. | Eric Zink | |
He was overcome by a lying spirit, and was finally powerless in the face of his deluded prattle, while Esmee, who had stared at him in amazement, ran off laughing derisively. | Other
The sentence is too close to the source text. It doesn't really make sense in EN and is difficult to follow. | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
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The wedding took place the next day. During the ceremony, the bride could be heard crying, as though already foreseeing the sorry fate that awaited her, while the groom, Peter Salomon Curius, looked around with a sneer upon his face and an air of confidence. His sense of superiority over every single soul on God’s Earth was clear.
When the wedding breakfast was over, Engelhart and the other children were sent outside into the beautiful back garden, filled with apple and cherry trees. To stand out from the others as they plodded about, Engelhart headed away to the far end of the garden where he strolled back and forth in an adult-like manner. His unconscious desire soon came true: his youngest cousin followed and stood silently in front of him, looking at him with her dark eyes. After a short while, Engelhart asked his cousin her name, which he had already actually heard several times but not properly caught. She was Esmeralda, named after uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna. But people called her Esmee. The situation re-awakened Engelhart’s burgeoning jealousy and he started to boast. Consumed by the uncontrollable urge to tell lies, he was powerless to stop his delusional stories until Esmee, who had simply stared at him in astonishment, ran away laughing derisively.
Despite not officially having to start school for another year, it was around this time that Engelhart’s parents decided to send him to a preparatory class run by an old teacher called Mr Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who was extremely proud of Engelhart’s giftedness and had great expectations for his future, could not wait to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought about his own childhood of hardship and strife. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved meaty discussions and good books, and wistfully paid attention to any intellectual shortcomings or elements of which he had been deprived due to circumstances beyond his control. | Entry #21463 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.11 | 3.12 (26 ratings) | 3.09 (22 ratings) |
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+1 1 already foreseeing the sorry fate that awaited her | Flows well | Tamsin Compton | |
-1 +1 1 His sense of superiority over every single soul on God’s Earth was clear. | Flows well | philgoddard | |
not properly caught | Flows well
(I might have said "really".) | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 re-awakened Engelhart’s burgeoning jealousy | Good term selection | philgoddard | |
-2 +3 2 Consumed by the uncontrollable urge to tell lies | Good term selection
Good description of a concept that doesn't have a name in English | Abigail Weller | |
Consumed by the uncontrollable urge | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
an old teacher called Mr Herschkamm | Good term selection
In English it is certainly much more common to refer to teachers with title+surname, rather than by surname alone, so this is a laudable minor departure from a literal translation of the source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 +1 1 soul | Mistranslations
No indication that his superiority limited itself to people. | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 was clear | Mistranslations
The German tells the reader the reason for the groom's behavior, but says nothing about what was clear to everyone else. | Eric Zink | |
outside int | Punctuation
Why merge two sentences? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
outside into | Spelling
"Outside to" - not "outside into" - conflict of logic | Noelle Crist-See No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
This is about the subconscious urge on Engelhart's part. | AnYulan Trans | |
+3 1 an adult-like manner | Mistranslations
Loses the idea contained in the German original that Engelhart was consciously mimicking a specific group of adults. | Eric Zink | |
+2 2 came true | Other
Wishes can come true, but desires? | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Does not capture the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 1 his cousin | Other
unnecessary and interrupts flow | Eric Zink | |
u | Spelling
Seems like this should be captialised if followed directly by "Michael", as it's being used as a kind of title. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
. But | Inconsistencies
Not necessary to break up the sentence, and the ST has "and", not "but". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
burgeoning | Mistranslations
Doesn't seem to match ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 had simply stared | Other
I think it should be "had been staring" - both tenses are rendered the same way in German! - But it really doesn't sound as though the author intended the pluperfect. | Werner Maurer | |
-1 +3 Despite not officially having to start school for another year, it | Other
Strictly speaking, the subject of the main clause is also the subject of any introductory material, so this sentence technically says that it did not have to ... "Despite Engelhart's not officially..." would solve this problem. | Eric Zink | |
extremely proud | Mistranslations
not proud of, but thought a great deal of | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
intellectual shortcomings or elements of which he had been deprived | Syntax
ambiguous -- where is "shortcomings" intended to fit? With elements (intellectual shortcoming or elements of which he had been deprived) or attention (paid attention to any intellectual shortcomings or elements ...)? The translator should save the reader the trouble of figuring this out. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
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The wedding was the following day. During the ceremony, the bride could be heard sobbing, as if she could foresee her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confident and sneering, glanced around. The thing was, there was not a creature on God's Earth to whom he did not feel superior.
When the wedding banquet was over, Engelhart was sent out to play with the other children. Behind the house was a lovely garden, full of apple and cherry trees. To stand out in his gloomy mood, Engelhart separated himself from the rest of the group and, adopting a gait he had copied from adults, walked back and forth in the depths of the garden. What had unconsciously been on his mind, happened; his youngest cousin had followed him and stood facing him, glaring at him silently with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had already heard several times before, but had not exactly understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This circumstance aroused Engelhart’s prickling jealousy once again, and he began to boast. He was soon caught up in a pack of lies and ended up powerless in the face of his delirious rantings, while Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, ran away sneering.
Around this time, his parents took the decision to send him to a preparatory class headed by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm, although he still had a year to go before he was required to attend school. Mr. Ratgeber, who was quite proud of Engelhart's talent and who had great expectations for his future, was impatient for him to plunge into the thick of life, to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought back to his own difficult youth, full of deprivation. During the early years of his marriage, he was enamoured of pithy discussions and good books and had kept a rapturous respect for anything that he could not grasp intellectually or that remained withheld due to external circumstances. | Entry #21328 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 3.10 | 3.19 (21 ratings) | 3.00 (19 ratings) |
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-1 +1 while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confident and sneering, glanced around. | Flows well | S4S Translation | |
+1 Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli | |
+2 although he still had a year to go before he was required to attend school | Flows well | Rachel Hutcheson | |
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-5 +1 3 uring the ceremony, the bride could be heard sobbing, as if she could foresee her sad fat | Other
Clumsy structure, no need for sub clause if rearranged. | S4S Translation | |
-2 2 glanced | Syntax
If you are confident, you don't glance. You gaze. | Eric Zink | |
-3 2 group | Mistranslations
wedding party, the guests, the reception | Ana Maria Edlin | |
-1 +1 1 , | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 understood | Syntax
If you hear a name, you understand it. You may not remember it. | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 a pack of lies | Other
Doesn't reflect the register of the German | Ana Maria Edlin | |
+2 1 sneering | Mistranslations
no approximation for "lachend" | Eric Zink | |
quite proud | Mistranslations
he was very proud | Ana Maria Edlin No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. During the marriage ceremony one could hear the bride crying; it was as if she foresaw her unhappy fate, while the bridegroom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, was looking around self-confidently and with a sneering smile. The fact was that there was no creature on God’s earth that he would not have felt superior to.
When the wedding feast was at an end, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. It was a charming garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Feeling a vague need to stand out from the rest, Engelhart went away from the gathering and walked up and down in the depth of the garden with a gait that he copied from the adults. What he had unconsciously imagined actually happened; his youngest cousin followed him, placed herself in front of him and directed her dark eyes at him silently. After a while Engelhart asked what her name was, because though he had heard it several times, he had not really understood it. She was called Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This circumstance again awoke Engelhart’s tingling jealousy, and he began to hold boastful speeches. The urge to tell lies overcame him, so that eventually he was powerless in the face of his delusionary talk, and Esmee, who had stared at him in amazement, ran away laughing scornfully.
About this time his parents resolved to send him to a preparatory class led by an elderly teacher called Herschkamm, although there was still a year before he was obliged to attend school. Mr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart’s abilities and entertained great expectations of his future, was eager to see him enter life’s circle and drink from the well of wisdom. He thought of his own deprived and arduous youth. In the first years of his marriage he had loved profound conversations and good books and maintained an effusive esteem for everything that continued to be denied to him intellectually and to be withheld from him by external circumstances. | Entry #20333 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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| Entry | 3.04 | 2.78 (23 ratings) | 3.29 (21 ratings) |
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+1 The urge to tell lies overcame him, so that eventually he was powerless in the face of his delusionary talk, and Esmee, who had stared at him in amazement, ran away laughing scornfully | Good term selection | Fiona_N | |
entertained | Flows well | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
deprived and arduous | Good term selection | Richard chonak No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 +2 2 was looking | Grammar errors
Continuous does not work well here, since, in conjunction with "while", it raises ambiguities. | Eric Zink | |
and | Other
"and" is a bit superfluous. It would sound smoother to say "he looked around self-confidently with a sneering smile." | Kristal Fellinger No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
This does not translate the German "Konjunktiv" well. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
unconsciously imagined | Inconsistencies
How is it possible for anyone to do this? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 directed her dark eyes at him | Mistranslations
Does not capture "anblitzen" adequately. | Eric Zink | |
because though | Inconsistencies
Not quite what the ST says. Not sure if it might be a misreading of "den" as "denn". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 understood | Mistranslations
Names are not understood ("hear" usually captures that content). "Register" would have worked well here. | Eric Zink | |
was called | Other
I think you need some contrast rather than using "called" twice in this sentence. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 3 wife of Uncle Michael | Other
"after Uncle Michael's wife" is more natural English. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
| Mistranslations
knowledge -- not quite the same thing | Eric Zink | |
|
Then came the wedding day. During the ceremony, one could hear the bride weeping, as if mourning her sad fate in advance while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, stood boldly, gazing about him with a disdainful smile. Fact was, he felt no creature walking God's Earth could equal his superiority.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. The garden behind the house was delightful, thick with apple and cherry trees. To stand out amidst the dull press, Engelhart set himself apart from the society and, adopting a gait he had admired on adults, strode back and forth in the depths of the garden. What he had unconsciously wished for came about. His youngest cousin followed him. She planted herself opposite him and flashed her dark eyes at him without a word. Eventually, Engelhart asked her name, which he of course had heard several times, but had yet to fully comprehend. She was named Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife - the uncle living in Vienna - and she was called Esmee. This circumstance revived Engelhart's thorny jealousy and he began a most ostentatious discourse. The lying devil took possession of him and he wound up helpless against his manic chatter, while Esmee, who had been staring at him in amazement, ran off, laughing mockingly.
It was at about this time that his parents resolved, although he had yet another year's time before compulsory schooling began, to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart's talent and fostered great expectations for his future, was impatient to see his son enter the great circle of life and drink from the well of knowledge. He recalled the labors and privations of his own youth. During the very first years of his marriage, he had loved weighty discussions and good books and he still maintained an idealized esteem for all he had failed to learn and, due to extraneous circumstances, had been denied him. | Entry #15533 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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gazing about him with a disdainful smile | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
no creature walking God's Earth | Good term selection | Charmaine Kizzie No agrees/disagrees | |
could equal his superiority | Good term selection | Charmaine Kizzie No agrees/disagrees | |
The garden behind the house was delightful, thick with apple and cherry trees. | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 What he had unconsciously wished for came about. | Flows well | philgoddard | |
planted | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
flashed her dark eyes at him | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
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-2 +2 2 Then came the wedding day | Mistranslations | philgoddard | |
-2 2 one could hear the bride weeping | Other
the bride's sobbing was not to be overheard | Yorkshireman | |
one could hear | Other
Translation is too literal. It's grammatically & syntactically correct, but stylistically uncommon usage. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +1 4 Fact was | Grammar errors
This omission of the definitive article sounds rather Germanic. "Fakt ist"... | Ana Maria Edlin | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +4 4 set himself apart from the society | Other
Doesn't make sense | philgoddard | |
Eventually, | Other
Why not just "After a while"? Eventually makes it seem a bit more like he should/would have done so earlier. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +1 2 fully comprehend | Mistranslations
What does it mean to "fully comprehend" a name? | Eric Zink | |
+3 - the uncle living in Vienna - | Other
unnecessarily complex | Eric Zink | |
-2 +3 3 The lying devil took possession of him and he wound up helpless against his manic chatter, | Other
Sounds odd. | philgoddard | |
+1 1 yet another year's time | Other
yet - incorrect here, a bit wieldy - another year ... | oa_xxx (X) | |
|
The wedding was the following day. During the ceremony one could hear the bride crying, it was as if she could foresee her sad fate, while the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around confidently with a scornful smile. The case was such, that there was not a creature on God’s green earth that he would not have felt superior to.
Once the wedding feast was over, Engelhardt and the other children were sent outdoors. It was a charming garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. With the dull desire to stand out, Engelhardt slipped away from the others and started pacing back and forth in the garden in a manner he had imitated from the adults. Then, what he had unconsciously envisioned happened: the youngest cousin followed him, stood facing him and looked at him silently with her flashing dark eyes. After a while, Engelhardt asked her for her name, which he had most likely heard a few times but had never really understood. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, and she went by Esmee. This factor reawakened a spark of jealousy in Engelhardt and he started to hold boastful speeches. He was overcome with the need to tell boastful tales and eventually found himself helplessly at the mercy of his deranged ramblings, and Esmee, who had stood staring at him in astonishment, ran away with mocking laughter.
About this time, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class that an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm taught, even though he still had a year before school attendance became compulsory. Mr. Ratgeber, who placed great importance on Engelhardt’s talents and had great expectations when it came to his future, was impatient to see him enter into the circle of life and drink from the spring of knowledge. He thought of his own youthful years full of deprivation and hardship. Still in the early years of his marriage, he loved good books and conversations that were rich in content, and he had an idolizing respect for everything that had been denied him intellectually and that he had been deprived of due to external circumstances. | Entry #16663 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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+2 2 one could hear | Spelling
passive works well here | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 it was | Grammar errors
Delete this two word to restore flow and avoid a run-on sentence | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 The case was such | Mistranslations
Does not approximate the German well. | Eric Zink | |
| Punctuation
no comma before a that clause (unlike the German dass clause) | Eric Zink | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
dull desire | Mistranslations
Dumpfe Triebe are more about subconscious human urges. | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
h in the garden | Omission
Missing the indication that this was in the heart/depths/... of the garden | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
he had imitated from | Other
Strikes me as a bit clunky / unidiomatic. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 her | Other
Unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the text. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 understood | Syntax
Names are not understood (that content is usually expressed by the word "hear"). "Register" would work well here. | Eric Zink | |
factor | Other
vague term that could be omitted | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
hold | Syntax
"make" would be more appropriate. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
"Boastful" was just used in the previous sentence. No variation? | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 helplessly at the mercy | Other
redundant | Eric Zink | |
idolizing respect | Mistranslations
"idolizing respect" is an odd phrase - does not sound natural or native. | Hilary Davies Shelby No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. During the ceremony the bride cried audibly; it seemed she had forebodings of her sad fate. Meanwhile the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around self-confidently, with a derisive smile. There was no creature on God’s earth to which he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding dinner had concluded, Engelhart and the other children were sent outdoors. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. From a vague desire to stand out, Engelhart left the others and walked into the garden, stepping to and fro in a way he had picked up from adults. What he had in mind without realizing it now occurred: his youngest cousin followed him, confronted him, and glared at him silently with her dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had certainly heard a few times, but had never really grasped. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael from Vienna, and they called her Esmee. This circumstance awoke Engelhart’s prickly jealousy again, and he began to speak ostentatiously. His self-deception got the better of him. Finally he stood there helpless before his own delusional nonsense, and Emsee, who had stared at him astonished, ran away with a scoffing laugh.
Even though he was still required to attend a year of school, around this time his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class given by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and harbored great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him start his life and drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought back on his own deprived and troubled youth. In the early years of his marriage, he still loved rich conversations and good books, and he maintained an enthusiastic respect for everything that was refused him intellectually and denied him due to external circumstances. | Entry #20993 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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+4 it seemed she had forebodings of her sad fate | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
to which he would not have felt superior. | Flows well
accurate to the source | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 From a vague desire to stand out, Engelhart left the others and walked into the garden, stepping to and fro in a way he had picked up from adults | Flows well | Kelsey Beyer | |
+1 who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and harbored great expectations for his future | Flows well | Kelsey Beyer | |
In the early years of his marriage | Good term selection | Kelsey Beyer No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 +1 1 wedding dinner | Other
This is not really a collocation in English - perhaps "meal", or "feast" | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
walked into the garden | Inconsistencies
I thought he was already in the garden, but either way this misses the notion that he goes/gets to the back/depths of the garden. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 stepping | Mistranslations
"Step" is generally used for single steps. "Stride" would work better here. | Eric Zink | |
| Omission
The German has a definite article, indicating a specific group of adults (presumably the ones at the wedding). | Eric Zink | |
+4 1 What he had in mind without realizing it | Syntax
Somewhat clumsily phrased - a construction using "unconsciously" would have been neater | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
confronted him | Inconsistencies
This seems a bit more than was said in the source. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-5 +1 3 grasped | Syntax
Concepts are grasped, names are registered. | Eric Zink | |
+3 1 self-deception | Mistranslations
Why should "Lügengeist" refer only to self-deception? His speech appears to be for someone else's benefit. | Eric Zink | |
. F | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 astonished | Other
"in astonishment" is much more natural | Eric Zink | |
+4 2 Even though he was still required to attend a year of school | Mistranslations
He had a year left before he would be required to start school | Jane Eggers | |
troubled | Mistranslations
(Duden: "mühevoll" - große Mühe und Anstrengung erfordernd). "Difficult" would be more apt | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. During the service, you could hear the bride crying; it seemed as if she could foresee her sad fate. The groom, however, a certain Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked about him confidently with a sardonic smile. The fact was, there was no being on God’s earth to whom he had not felt superior.
When the wedding breakfast was over, Engelhardt and the other children were sent outside to play. There was a beautiful garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. On a vague impulse of wanting to stand out, Engelhardt detached himself from the group and strode around the bottom of the garden in a manner he had copied from the grown-ups. What he unconsciously had in mind, happened. The youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him and observed him silently with her dark eyes. After a while Engelhardt asked her what her name was. He’d heard it a few times already, but never really registered it. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, but everyone called her Esmee. The situation reawakened Engelhardt’s prickling jealousy and he began to give pretentious speeches. He was possessed by an urge to lie and wove such a tangled web that, finally, his fantastic story hijacked him, leaving him powerless to control it and Esmee, who had been starring at him in amazement, ran away from him, laughing scornfully.
At around this time, although he still had a year to go until he reached compulsory school age, his parents resolved to send him to a preparatory class taught by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhardt’s talents and harboured great expectations for his future, was impatient to initiate him into the circle of life and see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and difficult youth. In the early years of his marriage he had loved pithy conversations and good books and had reserved an enthusiastic respect for everything that was beyond his mental comprehension or was withheld from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #20540 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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detached himself | Good term selection | Mary Worby No agrees/disagrees | |
prickling jealousy | Good term selection | nchomeldoe No agrees/disagrees | |
He was possessed by an urge to lie | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Punctuation
No need for a clause/break here. Ruins the flow of what is going to be a long sentence. | S4S Translation | |
-2 +4 1 you | Mistranslations
Better to say "the bride could be heard..." | AnYulan Trans | |
+3 2 had not | Mistranslations
Wrong tense. Should be "did not feel". | AnYulan Trans | |
-3 +1 3 breakfast | Spelling
The meal was probably not a breakfast. | Eric Zink | |
-2 2 around the bottom | Mistranslations
through the depths / in the heart | Clive Phillips | |
| Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
"Observe" is neutral; "anblitzen" is not. | Eric Zink | |
. | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 3 Her name | Other
"It" would have been sufficient. | Eric Zink | |
but | Inconsistencies
"and" in the ST (even though "but" would be very common in English) | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 give pretentious speeches | Other
Giving speeches doesn't seem the right expression here. | Mary Worby | |
-1 +4 4 hijacked him | Inconsistencies
Doesn't fit with the tone of the passage | nchomeldoe | |
compulsory school age | Mistranslations
Maybe using a verb instead of a noun like the ST would make this less strange. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
circle of life | Mistranslations
Maybe rethink "circle of life" (not least due to Lion King), but because it has connotations of the natural world and not the intellectual one. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
| Syntax
I think the singular would be better here - as in "good conversation" | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
n | Grammar errors
another comma - and comes after "good books". | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the ceremony, you could hear the bride crying. It seemed as though she had some sense of her somber fate, while the bridegroom Mr. Peter Salomon Curius looked around self-assuredly and with a jeering smile. The thing was that there was not a single creature on God's green earth to which he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In the vague urge to attract attention, Engelhart separated himself from the group and paced back and forth in the depth of the garden with a gait he picked up from one of the adults. What he had not been aware of in his mind was that his youngest cousin followed him, sat herself across from him, and scowled at him in silence with her dark eyes. After a little while, Engelhart asked for her name, which he had probably heard a few times already, but hadn't actually taken in. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. That fact aroused Engelhart's tingling jealousy all over again and he began carrying on with boastful and pretentious discourse. The lying spirit came over him. In the end, he stood helpless against his crazed ramblings, and Esmee who had gazed at him astonished ran from there laughing sneeringly.
Although he still had another year before mandatory attendance at school, his parents made the decision around that time to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart's ability and nourished great expectations about his future, was eager to see him enter into the circle of life, drink from the spring of knowledge. He was mindful of his own youth, full of hardship and difficulty. In the first years of his marriage, he still loved meaningful conversations and good books. He retained an enthusiastic respect for everything that was denied him and that remained withheld due to external circumstances. | Entry #16159 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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| Entry | 2.85 | 2.70 (20 ratings) | 3.00 (17 ratings) |
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feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 one of | Mistranslations
Nothing to indicate it was one particular adult. | Clive Phillips | |
+3 2 What he had not been aware of in his mind was that his youngest cousin followed him | Mistranslations | Jane Eggers | |
| Mistranslations
if the verb sit is to be used reflexively, there needs to be some preposition; but it doesn not appear from the German that she is sitting | Eric Zink | |
scowled | Mistranslations
the eyes are not sufficient for a scowl (nor is anblitzen scowling) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
. I | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 who had gazed at him astonished | Punctuation
non-defining relative clause needs to be set off by commas | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 astonished | Grammar errors
this needs to be an adverb (or possibly change the construction to something like "in amazement") | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 sneeringly | Other
poor word choice ("contemptuously" or something similar works far better) | Eric Zink | |
, | Grammar errors
a conjunction needs to follow the comma | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. During the ceremony, the bride could be heard crying, as if in dark foreboding of the unhappy fate that awaited her. The groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, on the other hand, looked around with a confident and sardonic smile. The truth of it was that there was no creature on God’s good earth that he did not consider himself to be the better of.
As the wedding banquet was drawing to a close, Engelhart was sent out to play with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In order to draw attention to himself and to set himself apart from the dull hubbub, he detached himself from the wedding party and strutted backwards and forwards in the depths of the garden, mimicking the gait of one of the grownups. And, what he had unconsciously had in mind as the result of this, did indeed come to pass; the youngest of his cousins followed him and stood before him, looking at him silently, her dark eyes flashing. After a little while, Engelhart asked her her name. He had heard it a number of times already, but he had not been quite able to grasp it. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, but everyone called her Esmee. This fact aroused a fresh thrill of jealousy in Engelhart, and he started to brag. He was overshadowed by the spirit of falsehood, until finally, he stood powerless against his own illusory utterances. And Esmee, who had stared at him in amazement, ran away laughing scornfully.
At about this time, his parents made the decision, although he still had one year of obligatory school attendance to go, to send him to a Preparatory School that had an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm as the headmaster. Mr Ratgeber, who considered Engelhart's gifts to be considerable, and who nurtured great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him step into the Circle of Life and to drink from the Fountain of Knowledge. He was thinking of his own youth of deprivation and hardship. During the first few years of his marriage, he had continued to enjoy conversations of substance and good books, and he preserved a wistful deference for everything that had been denied to him intellectually, and from which, due to external circumstance, he still remained excluded. | Entry #18037 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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nurtured | Flows well | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Mistranslations
No, after it had ended. | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 to set himself apart from the dull hubbub | Mistranslations | Clive Phillips | |
-3 2 backwards and forwards | Syntax
back and forth | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
'The grown-ups', not 'one of the grown-ups'. | Clive Phillips | |
| Punctuation
No reason to put a comma here. | Eric Zink | |
| Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 her | Other
No need for the second her, and the language is much more elegant without it. | Eric Zink | |
-2 2 grasp | Mistranslations
You grasp concepts. You register names. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 Her name | Other
No question what noun is being referred to, so use the pronoun to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink | |
thrill | Mistranslations
Strange collocation with "jealousy". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 overshadowed by the spirit of falsehood, | Other
Seems meaningless to me, would prefer "he was overcome by" (the lying demon) | Wendy Streitparth | |
finally, | Punctuation
Punctuation imbalance. Either pair the commas, or have none, not one. As a secondary point, "finally" could be misconstrued as "at last". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 illusory | Mistranslations
delusional, but not illusory | Eric Zink | |
. A | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 although he still had one year of obligatory school attendance to go | Mistranslations
one year until he would be obliged to start school | Jane Eggers | |
+2 1 Preparatory School | Spelling
no reason to capitalize this | Eric Zink | |
School | Mistranslations
Class/classes/course but not necessarily at a school. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
headmaster | Inconsistencies
We know that he 'ran'/'led' the class, but it's not evident that he must be the Headmaster (of a school). | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. During the wedding ceremony, the bride was heard crying, as if she suspected the sad fate that awaited her, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around confidently and with a scornful smile. There was in fact no creature on God's good earth to whom he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. It was a lovely garden behind the house, with apple and cherry trees abound. To stand out amidst the dull activity, Engelhart separated himself from the gathered company and, affecting an adult gait, walked to and fro deep in the garden. What he had unconsciously envisioned came to pass; the youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and silently flashed him with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked for her name, which he must have heard a few times but had not really understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of his uncle Michael in Vienna, and they called her Esmee. This circumstance aroused Engelhart’s tingling jealousy anew, and he began to give boastful speeches. Overcome by the urge to lie, he finally was powerless against his delusional talk, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, fled from the scene, laughing mockingly.
Though he still had another year left before it would be mandatory for him to attend school, aound this time his parents decided to enroll him in a preparatory class, which was held by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and entertained great expectations for his future, was impatient to let him enter the circle of life, to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and troublesome youth. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved meaty conversations and good books, and maintained a fanatical respect for all that remained mentally denied to and withheld from him by dint of external circumstances. | Entry #21893 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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looked around confidently and with a scornful smile. | Flows well | Kelsey Beyer No agrees/disagrees | |
affecting an adult gait, | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
What he had unconsciously envisioned came to pass; | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
Overcome by the urge to lie, | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 +2 2 It was a lovely garden behind the house, with apple and cherry trees abound. | Other
'It'? Very strange translation... | Dorothy Schaps | |
+2 1 with apple and cherry trees abound. | Syntax
This is simply not English. | Eric Zink | |
+3 amidst the dull activity | Mistranslations
"dumpfer Trieb" is about a subconscious desire/urge | AnYulan Trans | |
+2 1 adult | Mistranslations
A way of walking copied from the adults. | Clive Phillips | |
; | Punctuation
ST has ";", but colon works better in English here. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 turned towards him | Mistranslations
It was more deliberate and sudden than just turning towards him | Dorothy Schaps | |
+2 flashed him with her dark eyes | Other
This is not idiomatic English. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 understood | Spelling
Names are heard, not understood. "Registered" would work well here. | Eric Zink | |
u | Spelling
Seems like this should be captialised if followed directly by "Michael", as it's being used as a kind of title. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 they called | Grammar errors
Who is "they"? Passive would work nicely here. | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 fled from the scene | Mistranslations
Improper translation of "davon laufen" -- she is not fleeing a scene. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 , | Punctuation
No comma before a defining relative clause. | Eric Zink | |
held | Other
Sounds like just one lesson with "held". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 troublesome | Mistranslations
'troubled' rather than 'troublesome'. | Clive Phillips | |
for all that remained mentally denied to | Mistranslations
Not idiomatic, nonsensical | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
mentally | Mistranslations
intellectually | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
by dint of | Spelling
"By dint of" usually indicates conscious effort, and in this way is different than "because of". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the wedding ceremony the bride was
heard crying. She seemed to have a suspicion about the sad fate awaiting
her, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confident and smiling
scornfully looked around. The thing was, there was no creature on God's
earth that he did not feel superior to.
When the wedding was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other
children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and
cherry trees. Driven by an unconscious need to be noticed Engelhart
separated himself from the group and, in the manner he had observed in
adults, paced back and forth at the bottom of the garden. What he had
unconsciously intended, happened; the youngest cousin followed him, turned
towards him and flashed him silently with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart
asked for her name, which he had heard a several times but not really
understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of his uncle Michael in
Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This circumstance aroused anew Engelhart's
tingling jealousy, and he began to make boastful speeches. The lying spirit
came over him, and in the end he stood powerless against his delusional
prattle, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away
laughing mockingly.
Around this time, his parents came to the decision to send him to a
preparatory class led by an old teacher named Herschkamm, even though
Englehart had another year before he was required to attend school. Mr.
Ratgeber, who held Engelhart's talent in high regard and entertained great
expectations for his future, was impatient to see him enter into the circle
of life, to drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own
privations and troublesome youth. Even in the early years of his marriage he
loved meaty conversations and good books and maintained an enthusiastic
respect for all that was intellectually (spiritually?) denied and by
external circumstances withheld from him. | Entry #20216 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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+2 1 Driven by an unconscious need to be noticed | Flows well
flows well | nchomeldoe | |
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. | Punctuation
It may be better to follow the source and retain a long sentence here. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
suspicion about | Other
Not sure that "suspicion" works here. "seemed to suspect" maybe, or else another word entirely. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 confident and smiling
scornfully looked around | Other
Unusual formation, does not flow well. | Mary Worby | |
The thing was | Other
Sounds too casual to me. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
unconscious | Inconsistencies
Doesn't seem quite to match the sense in the ST. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Syntax
comma needed after the previous non-restrictive clause | S4S Translation | |
-1 +2 3 adults | Mistranslations
one of the adults | nchomeldoe | |
+4 1 flashed him silently with dark eyes | Mistranslations
flashed her dark eyes at him. "flashed him" has a different meaning | nchomeldoe | |
-1 +2 2 understood | Mistranslations
Grasped or caught is more appropriate for a name. | Sarah Lewis-Morgan | |
| Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid unnecessary repetition. | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Awkward. Sugg: People (or: everyone) called her Esmee. | Werner Maurer | |
-1 +1 1 anew | Other
This should come after "jealousy". | Eric Zink | |
-2 1 Englehart | Other
"His" has already been used in the sentence, so we must assume the reader knows who is being referred to. So why not "he" here? | Eric Zink | |
meaty | Other
Bad word choice - "meaty" doesn't fit in the intellectual context here. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 intellectually (spiritually?) | Inconsistencies
This is a decision for the translator to make. | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 by
external circumstances withheld from him. | Syntax | nchomeldoe | |
|
The next day was the wedding day. During the ceremony, you could hear the bride crying as if in foreboding of her sad fate, while the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around confidently with a scornful smile. The fact was that there was no creature on God's Earth whom he did not feel superior to.
When the wedding reception was over, Engelhart and the other children were sent outdoors. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple trees and cherry trees. Engelhart, overcome by the dull urge to attract attention, separated from the rest of the group and walked back and forth at the back of the garden, in a gait mimicked from adults. What he unconsciously had in mind, happened: his youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and flashed her dark eyes silently at him. After a while Engelhart asked her what her name was, which he must have heard several times without really grasping. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of her Uncle Michael in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This fact reawakened Engelhart’s prickling jealousy and he began to talk boastfully. A lying spirit took hold of him, finally rendering him powerless over his delusional talk, and Esmee, who was staring at him in astonishment, ran away in mocking laughter.
Around this time, although he still had another year to go before compulsory school attendance, his parents decided to send him to preparatory classes led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart's talent and had great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him enter the gate of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He remembered his own deprived and troubled youth. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved nourishing conversations and good books, and maintained an enthusiastic respect for all the things his mind had been denied and withheld due to external circumstances. | Entry #21418 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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had great expectations | Good term selection | Diana Obermeyer No agrees/disagrees | |
his mind | Good term selection | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Other
Passive works fine, and use of second-person pronouns signicantly drops the register. | Eric Zink | |
-1 +2 1 glanced | Spelling
Confident people don't glance around -- they gaze. | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 whom he did not feel superior to | Grammar errors
Normally "to whom ..." or "who ... to" (less formal), but not "whom ... to". | Eric Zink | |
-1 +4 3 reception | Mistranslations
A reception is not the same thing as a meal. | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Do we really need to repeat "trees"? | Eric Zink | |
mimicked from | Other
"mimicking" would be more natural, I think. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation
Don't separate the subject from the verb with a comma. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
does not capture "stellte sich ihm gegenüber" | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 what her name was, which | Grammar errors
A much more elegant construction would have placed the relative clause next to the noun it modifies (that is, would have place "name" right before the comma). | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 must have heard several times | Mistranslations
Had heard several times, not must have heard. | Werner Maurer | |
| Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped, but not names. | Eric Zink | |
| Grammar errors
needs to be past perfect | Eric Zink | |
before compulsory school attendance | Other
Flow feels awkward to me; maybe a different word order would have helped. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
troubled | Mistranslations
Mühevoll = difficult | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
nourishing | Mistranslations
gehaltvoll = meaningful | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
his mind had been denied and withheld | Mistranslations
"ihm" refers to both "geistig versagt" and "vorenthalten blieb", so "his mind" clashes with "withheld" | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place the following day. During the ceremony, one could hear the bride weep, and it seemed as if she already anticipated her sad destiny, whereas the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, took in his surroundings, smiling self-consciously and smugly. His foregone conclusion was that there wasn’t any being on God’s wide earth to whom he wouldn’t have felt superior.
The wedding banquet being over, Engelhart was sent outside together with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, rich with apple and cherry trees. Driven by the vague urge to stand out from the crowd, Engelhart separated himself from his company and strolled back and forth at the far end of the garden while mimicking the way in which adults walk. What he had only unconsciously imagined became reality: the youngest cousin followed him, stepped right in front of him, and silently glared at him with her dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked what her name was, which he must have heard mention a few times, but which he had never really understood. Her name was Esmeralda – after the wife of uncle Michael in Vienna –, and she was called Esmee for short. This fact stirred Engelhart’s prickly jealousy anew, and he began to make boastful speeches. A web of lies got the better of him, and in the end he had to face his raving ramblings helplessly, and Esmee, who had stared at him in bewilderment, ran away with a mocking laugh.
At this very time, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class, taught by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm, even though he didn’t have to begin his mandatory schooling for another year. Mr. Ratgeber who thought most positively of Engelhart’s aptitude and who expected a lot of his future couldn’t wait to see him enter the circle of life, to drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, which had been hard and full of privation. Throughout the first years of his marriage, he kept enjoying thought-provoking conversations and good books and retained a passionate regard for everything which was denied him both intellectually and by his social standing. | Entry #16475 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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+1 1 alled Esmee for short | Flows well | oa_xxx (X) | |
web of lies | Flows well | oa_xxx (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Mistranslations
rather the opposite - selbstbewusst is confident or self-assured, self-conscious is insecure | Diana Obermeyer | |
-3 3 being | Other
extraneous ("The wedding banquet over" means the same thing and is more elegant) | Eric Zink | |
| Other
poor choice of vocabulary -- "stroll" indicates a leisurely walk, usually in the same direction | Eric Zink | |
-2 +2 1 while | Other
Omitting "while" and setting a comma after "garden" would have been better. | Eric Zink | |
adults walk | Inconsistencies
In the ST it is about the specific adults, so "the" (at least) is needed. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
unconsciously imagined | Inconsistencies
How is it possible for anyone to do this? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 which | Other
awkward positioning of relative clause (a construction that put "name" before the comma would have been much better). | Eric Zink | |
+3 1 mention | Grammar errors
Should be participle, not infinitive | Eric Zink | |
u | Spelling
Seems like this should be captialised if followed directly by "Michael", as it's being used as a kind of title. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 –, | Punctuation
commas would have been better than dashes to set this phrase off, and the dash-comma combination is not used in English. | Eric Zink | |
got the better of him | Other
Might suggest (wrongly) that he got his own comeuppance. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
helplessly | Syntax
Placement is a little off for me. Maybe better before "face". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
who thought most positively of Engelhart’s aptitude and who expected a lot of his future | Punctuation
non-defining relative clause should be set off by commas | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
who | Other
relative pronoun need not be repeated | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
a lot | Other
fairly informal -- "a great deal" might be suitable here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 , | Grammar errors
nees a conjunction after the comma | Eric Zink | |
|
The wedding was on the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying; it seemed as if she was anticipating a sad fate, while the bridegroom, Mr Peter Solomon Curius, over- confident and scornful, looked around smiling. There was, to put it bluntly, no creature on God’s earth to which he did not feel superior.
Once the wedding breakfast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. To get away from the dull youngsters, Engelhart detached himself from the group and started to pace back and forth at the very end of the garden, mimicking the gait of an adult. What he had unconsciously expected from his actions happened; the youngest girl cousin followed him, turned herself to face him and glared at him silently with dark eyes. After a while Englehart asked her her name, which he had undoubtedly heard a number of times but which he had never actually caught. She was called Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Venice, and she was known as Esmee. This fact stirred Engelhart’s tingling jealousy once more, and he launched into a boastful speech. The lying spirit took over him; by the end he stood hopelessly in the thrall of his manic speech and Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, walked away laughing derisively.
At about this time his parents made the decision, despite his still having a year in compulsory education, to send him to a preparation class being conducted by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who held Engelhart’s talents in great esteem and had great expectations for his future, was impatient for him to enter that period of his life where he could see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and difficult youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he had loved exciting conversations and good books, and he held a wistful respect for all those things that failed him intellectually and had been denied him through external circumstances. | Entry #20810 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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and she was known as Esmee | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 by the end he stood hopelessly in the thrall of his manic speech | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
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+1 1 over- confident and scornful, looked around smiling | Other
Introduces a comma not present in the source text, with associated changes the meaning.. | D. I. Verrelli | |
| Punctuation
No hyphen necessary, but definitely no space after the hyphen | Eric Zink | |
-2 +2 1 to put it bluntly, | Mistranslations
doesn't capture source text | Eric Zink | |
-5 +1 4 breakfast | Mistranslations
Almost certainly not a breakfast -- narrative sequence indicates that this was after the ceremony. | Eric Zink | |
+3 To get away from the dull youngsters, | Mistranslations
This is not what the source text means. | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
the youngest girl | Other
"his youngest cousin" would be more natural. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
turned herself to face him | Mistranslations
Reflexive is clumsy in any case, but this does not capture the meaning of "stellte sich ihm gegenüber". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 2 her | Other
Second her is unnecessary, and its omission improves style greatly. | Eric Zink | |
-1 +1 2 walked | Mistranslations
"Ging" would be "walked". She ran. | Eric Zink | |
+5 3 despite his still having a year in compulsory education | Mistranslations
despite him still having a year before compulsory education would begin | Jane Eggers | |
+1 1 being conducted | Other
awkward | oa_xxx (X) | |
that period of his life where | Mistranslations
There are two things he is interested in: to see him "in den Kreis des Lebens eintreten" and drink from the fountain of knowledge. This translation neglects the former. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
failed him | Mistranslations
were out of reach | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying. It seemed as if she had a premonition of her own sad destiny, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around him with an air of self-confidence and a sneering smile. The thing was that there was no creature on God's earth whom he felt subordinate to.
When the wedding ceremony was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. The lovely garden behind the house was cultivated and brimming with apple and cherry trees. In order to draw attention in this dull existence, Engelhart distanced himself from the others and paced the garden in a gait he had copied from the adults. What he had been hoping for unconsciously happened. His youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him and stared at him in silence with his dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had already heard but never actually understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of an uncle Michael in Vienna, and her nickname was Esmee. This fact again aroused Engelhart's prickling jealousy, and he began to hold boastful speeches. He was overcome by the desire to lie. Finally, he was powerless his paranoid prattle and Esmee, who had been staring at him in surprise, ran away laughing scornfully.
It was then that his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class headed by a teacher named Herschkamm, although he had another year left before being obliged to attend school. Mr Ratgeber, who thought a great deal of Engelhart's talent and who had great hopes in his future, was impatient to see him enter the circle of life and partake in the source of knowledge. He thought about his own youth, full of deprivation and toil. Still in the first years of his marriage, he loved deep conversation and good books and maintained an ostentatious respect for everything that he had been deprived of mentally by outer circumstances. | Entry #16172 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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+1 During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying | Other
Good short sentence, but you could have made the Bride the subject here. | S4S Translation | |
in a gait he had copied from the adults | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
nd her nickname was Esmee | Good term selection
Nice choice. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
It was then that his parents decided | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
although he had another year left before being obliged to attend school | Good term selection | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
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-2 1 The wedding was on the next day. | Other
The next day there was the wedding. | metafrasi.pl | |
The thing was | Other
Sounds too casual to me. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +4 3 whom he felt subordinate to. | Syntax
"to whom he felt subordinate" would have been better for this register. | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
subordinate | Mistranslations
Source text has "not ... not superior", which isn't quite the same as "not ... inferior". | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
cultivated and | Inconsistencies
Not present in the source, and better to leave it out. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 understood | Mistranslations
incorrect term | Eric Zink | |
u | Spelling
Seems like this should be captialised if followed directly by "Michael", as it's being used as a kind of title. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 hold boastful speeches | Mistranslations
holding speeches is a bit overly grand and not what is meant. | S4S Translation | |
. F | Punctuation
Why split the sentence? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
Finally, | Other
Can be read as "at last", whereas the source's meaning is "in/by/at the end" | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 he was powerless his paranoid prattle | Other
Meaning unclear | philgoddard | |
paranoid prattle | Other
Alliteration for no reason, never a good idea | Tamsin Compton No agrees/disagrees | |
surprise | Mistranslations
Not the best rendering of "verwundert" | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 away laughing | Punctuation
these two words should be separated by a comma | Eric Zink | |
partake in the source of knowledge. | Other
Not correct use of language/idiom. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place next day. The bride was heard weeping at the altar, apparently having a premonition of her sad fate, while the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around the church self-confidently, with an ironic smile. The plain fact was that there was no creature on God’s earth that he did not look down on as his inferior.
After the wedding breakfast, Engelhart was sent out of doors with the other children. Behind the house was a pleasant orchard with many apple and cherry trees. To make himself noticed in all the boring activities, Engelhart went apart from the others and strutted back and forth in the depths of the orchard in a way he had seen adults do. What he had unconsciously imagined came to pass: the youngest of his girl cousins followed him, stood before him and flashed her dark eyes at him in silence. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had no doubt heard several times already without fully taking it in. She was named Esmeralda after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna and people caller her Esmée. This circumstance once more roused Engelhart’s tingling jealousy, and he started to talk boastfully. His habit of lying took over so that in the end he was helpless to stop his crazy raving, and Esmée, who had been staring at him in wonderment, ran away with a mocking laugh.
It was about this time that his parents decided to send him to a prep class run by a teacher named Herschkamm – even though he was still obliged to attend compulsory schooling for another year. Mr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart’s gifts and nursed great expectations of his future, couldn’t wait to see him enter the outside world and drink from the well of knowledge. He was thinking of his own austere and arduous youth. Even in the early years of his marriage he had loved deep conversations and good books, and he retained an enthusiastic respect for everything withheld from him intellectually and kept from him by his outer circumstances. | Entry #16486 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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ran away with a mocking laugh | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Omission
the next day? | oa_xxx (X) | |
| Mistranslations
nothing to indicate an altar | Eric Zink | |
+3 2 ironic | Spelling
its not bad but I thnk scornful, smug, scoffing is more the idea - condescending | oa_xxx (X) | |
-1 +1 2 look down on as his inferior | Syntax
redundant | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Very unusual and awkward word choice when "sent outside" works better | Tamsin Compton | |
+5 in all the boring activities | Mistranslations
"dumpfer Trieb" is about a subconscious urge or desire | AnYulan Trans | |
in the depths of the orchard | Syntax
"deep inside the garden" | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 way he had seen adults do | Other
awkward construction | Eric Zink | |
unconsciously imagined | Inconsistencies
How is it possible for anyone to do this? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
girl cousins | Other
This is quite literal, and not usual in English. Admittedly it's possible there may have been an even younger male cousin, but if that wasn't mentioned anywhere else in the text, I'd omit "girl" here. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 r | Spelling | oa_xxx (X) | |
+3 1 habit | Mistranslations
Nothing to indicate this was a habit with him. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 raving | Syntax
"raving" implies forceful/passionate babbling, whereas "Gered" is merely idle talk (empahsis on lack of purpose or direction; Duden: unnötiges, sinnloses Reden, Geschwätz)) | Marcus Malabad | |
+6 2 even though he was still obliged to attend compulsory schooling for another year | Mistranslations | Jane Eggers | |
nursed great expectations | Syntax
Surely one does not "nurse an expectation". The corresponding idiom is the simple and correct "thought highly of" | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
doesn't quite get "Kreis des Lebens". | Eric Zink | |
was thinking | Other
Continuous doesn't work well, since it requires a defined point of time at which the action is taking place. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
outer circumstances | Syntax
Surely a person doesn't have "outer" circumstances? "external" is better | Marcus Malabad No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying – it seemed as if she had a foreboding of her sorry fate – whereas the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around with a self-assured sneer on his face. It was a fact: there was no creature on God's green earth to which he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding feast was over Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. Behind the house was a pretty garden, full of apple and cherry trees. Succumbing to his dumb urge to be noticed, Engelhart left the company of the others and, adopting a gait he had copied from the adults, strode to and fro at the far end of the garden. What he had unconsciously had in mind all along then happened: the youngest cousin first followed him and then confronted him face to face, saying nothing, but flashing looks at him from her dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked what her name was – he had probably heard it a few times already but not really caught it. She said it was Esmeralda, after the wife of her uncle Michael in Vienna, and that people called her Esmee. That was enough to set Engelhart tingling with jealousy again, and he began to spout. The lying crept up on him: in the end he was powerless to control his deluded blathering, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in wonderment, now ran off laughing derisively.
At about this time his parents decided – although there was still a year to go before compulsory schooling – to send him to a preparatory class given by an old schoolmaster by the name of Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who thought much of Engelhart's talent and had great expectations for his future, could hardly wait to see him embarking on life's round and drinking from the fount of knowledge. His thoughts went back to his own deprived and troubled youth. Even into the first years of his marriage he still loved weighty discussions and good books and maintained a fanatical respect for everything which his intellect had been denied and circumstances beyond his control had caused him to go without. | Entry #19240 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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+1 a foreboding of her sorry fate | Flows well | Mary Worby | |
That was enough to set Engelhart tingling with jealousy again, | Flows well | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Other
Not an elegant approximation of the original | Eric Zink | |
feast | Mistranslations
Unusual/unidiomatic translation. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Which aspect of "dumb" is supposed to be "dumpf"? | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
This has nothing to do with "sich ihm stellen", which would be confront, but "sich ihm gegenüber stellen", which would be to take a position across from him. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 was – he | Other
A construction that allows a relative clause (such as "he asked her name, which he had ...") flows better. | Eric Zink | |
She said | Inconsistencies
Not in the source (likewise the word "that" later in this sentence). | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 her | Mistranslations
Whose uncle is not specified in the original text. | Sarah Lewis-Morgan | |
u | Spelling
Seems like this should be captialised if followed directly by "Michael", as it's being used as a kind of title. | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
Nothing in the original to justify this insertion | Eric Zink | |
– although there was still a year to go before compulsory schooling – | Punctuation
commas more natural than dashes | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
I know of no meaning of "round" that would be appropriate here. | Eric Zink | |
Even into the first years of his marriage he still loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense. If he is not, it should be "had still loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The very next day was the wedding. As the marriage ceremony progressed, the bride could be heard crying. Seemingly she had had a premonition of her sad fate. The groom, Peter Salomon Curius, just gazed around with supreme self-confidence and a sneer across his face. Frankly, there was no creature on God's earth he would not have felt superior to.
The wedding meal over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children into a charming garden behind the house, dotted with apple and cherry trees. Sensing a vague urge to attract attention to himself, Engelhart left the others behind and proceeded to walk up and down the depths of the garden, imitating an adult gait. The thing he had been unconsciously hoping for, then materialised. The youngest female cousin followed him, then stood in his way and quietly fixed her dark eyes upon him. After a little while Engelhart asked her name. He had doubtless heard it several times before but had not actually understood. She was Esmeralda, named after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, but was known as Esmee. This re-ignited Engelhart’s nagging jealousy, so he launched into one bragging monologue after another. A desire to lie got the better of him and ultimately he subsided into a delusional rant. Esmee just stared wide-eyed at him before running off with peals of mocking laughter.
Around this time his parents took the decision, though he still had another year till statutory school age, to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr Ratgeber held Engelhart’s talent in high regard and entertained great expectations of his future. He was eager to see him take the first steps on the ladder of life, drinking from the fount of knowledge. He reflected on his own deprived and difficult youth. Even in the early years of his marriage he had loved good books and conversations he could get his teeth into. He nursed a rapturous respect for whatever remained intellectually beyond his reach or external circumstances denied him. | Entry #15707 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.50 | 2.80 (5 ratings) | 2.20 (5 ratings) |
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take the first steps on the ladder of life | Good term selection
Nice approximation for a difficult concept | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
- 2 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
she had had a premonition | Mistranslations
This implies she did indeed have a specific dream, vision, premonition of some sort -- which the German does not support | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 just | Mistranslations
Nothing in the German justifies this modification. | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 Frankly | Mistranslations
Does not adequately capture the German | Eric Zink | |
an adult gait | Mistranslations
Does not convey the content that this gait was mimicked from a specific group of adults. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in his way | Mistranslations
Nothing to indicate this was the case. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
fixed her dark eyes upon him | Mistranslations
Does not convey the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
understood | Syntax
You don't understand a name (that content is normally expressed with "hear"). "Register" would work, provided it received an appropriate object. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
drinking | Mistranslations
The present participle expresses a relation between the two actions that is not present in German. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the wedding ceremony, the bride could be heard weeping, seemingly in anticipation of her sorry fate, while the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around self-assuredly with a mocking smile. In his eyes, there wasn’t a single creature on God’s Earth to which he didn’t feel superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a charming little garden behind the house, full of trees bearing apples and cherries. In a desultory attempt to attract attention, Engelhart separated himself from the group and, affecting an adult-like gait, began strolling up and down at the bottom of the garden. What he had unconsciously envisioned then took place: his youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and pierced him silently with her dark eyes. After a pause, Engelhart asked after her name - which he must have heard a number of times already - but not really taken in. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna and went by the name of Esmee. This was enough to re-ignite a prickling sense of jealousy in Engelhart and he began holding forth in boastful fashion. A lying spirit came over him and in the end, he was powerless against his own delusional ramblings, while Esmee - who had been staring at him in astonishment - ran off with a smirk.
Around this time, his parents took the decision that although he still had another year before he had to start school, he should be sent to a preparatory class taught by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Herr Ratbeger, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and entertained great expectations for his future, could not wait to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, riven by hardship and deprivation. Even in the first years of his marriage, he had loved meaty conversations and good books while preserving a fanatical respect for all the intellectual things denied to him or withheld by outside circumstance. | Entry #21473 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.50 | 2.33 (6 ratings) | 2.67 (6 ratings) |
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+1 1 wedding | Other
It is unnecessary to repeat the word wedding. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
+1 1 trees bearing apples and cherries | Other
The wording "bearing" is not in the source, and its addition does not add anything stylistically. | Ana Maria Edlin | |
adult-like | Mistranslations
'a gait imitating the adults@ | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
strolling | Other
poor word choice -- a stroll is a leisurely walk, not something that one usually does back and forth | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
pierced | Spelling
poor word choice | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 name - which he must have heard a number of times already - but not | Punctuation | Sarah Lewis-Morgan | |
A lying spirit came over him | Other
Too literal. Not sure we would say this in English. | Hilary Davies Shelby No agrees/disagrees | |
- who had been staring at him in astonishment - | Punctuation
commas instead of dashes | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 with a smirk | Syntax
the adverb is missing, and the context makes it fairly clear that she was laughing, not smirking | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Riven means "violently torn apart" - I think this is more of a "characterized by" | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
|
The wedding took place on the other day. The bride could be heard as she wept during the ceremony; it seemed as if she knew what miserable fate awaited her, but the groom, Peter Salomon Curius, gazed around him self-confidently, smiling contemptuously. The thing was this: There wasn't a creature on God's earth that he wouldn't have felt superior to.
When the wedding meal was over, Engelhart and the other children were sent outside. Behind the house there was a lovely garden, full of apple and cherry trees. To make himself noticed in the otherwise dull atmosphere, Engelhart distanced himself from the others, and like an adult paced back and forth deep in the garden. And then, what he unconsciously had hoped for transpired. His youngest cousin followed him and then stood right before him, silent, her dark eyes staring into his. After some time, Engelhart asked for her name, which he had heard a few times before but never really understood. She said she was Esmeralda, named after the wife of her uncle Michael in Vienna, but that everyone called her Esmee. Triggered by a new wave of jealousy, Engelhart began to deliver a monologue of boasts. His lies became all the more fantastic until he finally surrendered to his own delusionary bragging, and Esmee, who had been staring at him with bewilderment, now ran off away with a mocking smile on her face.
Around this time, even though Engelhart wouldn't have been required to attend school for another year, his parents decided to enroll him in a preparatory class led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who substantially bridled Engelhart's talent and had great expectations for his future, was bothered by the idea of seeing Engelhart be set into the life cycle and to drink from the source of knowledge. He remembered his own austere and difficult youth. Even in the early years of his marriage, he still loved rich conversations and good books, and he maintained an enthusiastic admiration for everything he was unable to intellectually grasp and which external circumstances prevented him from having. | Entry #16682 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.43 | 2.57 (7 ratings) | 2.29 (7 ratings) |
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t seemed as if she knew what miserable fate awaited her, but the groom, Peter Salomon Curius, | Flows well
good construction | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Other
extraneous and should be omitted | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 otherwise | Other
makes no sense -- other than what? | Eric Zink | |
dull atmosphere | Mistranslations
"dumpfer Trieb" is about a subconscious desire | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
like an adult | Mistranslations
Does not capture the meaning that he was mimicking an adult. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
then | Other
extraneous, should be omitted | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 understood | Mistranslations
Poor choice of terminology. You usually don't "understand" a name -- "hear" is used for that content. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
A person is not usually triggered -- a event is. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
How do you get "bothered by" from "ungeduldig"? | Eric Zink | |
be | Grammar errors
should be omitted for construction to work | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
source | Mistranslations
fountain | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Even in the early years of his marriage, he still loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the early years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense. If he is not, it should be "he had still loved". | Eric Zink | |
|
The wedding took place the other day. During the ceremony, you could hear the bride weeping, as if she had foreseen her sad fate. With a derisive smile, the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around confidently. The truth of the matter was that there was no creature on God's good earth to whom he would not feel superior.
After the wedding feast, Engelhart was sent outdoors along with the other children. There was a delightful garden behind the house, full of apple trees and cherry trees. In some vague desire to attract attention, Engelhart detached himself from his companions and, deep in the garden, paced back-and-forth, mimicking the way the grownups moved. What he had unconsciously intended, happened. The youngest of his cousins followed him, stood facing him, and glared silently at him with her dark eyes. After awhile, Engelbart asked her name, which he hadn't quite understood although he had already heard it a number of times. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of her Uncle Michael in Vienna. Everyone called her Esmee. This conjuncture rekindled Engelhart's tingling jealousy, and he began to boast. The liar in him came out. In the end, he stood powerless over his delusional chatter, and Emsee, who had stared at him in astonishment, ran off laughing scornfully.
Although he still had a year before he was required to be in school, his parents decided about this time to send him to a preschool run by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought the world of Engelbart's gifts and nurtured great expectations for his future, was impatient for him to partake of the Wheel of Life and to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought about his own youth, one of hardship and difficulty. Still in the first years of his marriage, he loved conversation rich in substance, and good books as well. And he retained an adulating enthusiasm for everything that was denied him intellectually and kept from him because of external circumstances. | Entry #19700 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.42 | 2.50 (6 ratings) | 2.33 (6 ratings) |
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+4 The liar in him came out | Good term selection
Not bad at all for "Lügengeist". | Eric Zink | |
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| Other
Passive is fine, and second-person pronouns in this context belong to a lower register than that of this text. | Eric Zink | |
trees | Other
no reason to repeat "trees" | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 , | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 understood | Mistranslations
Grasped or caught would be more appropriate; understood is wrong in this case. | Sarah Lewis-Morgan | |
| Other
Use the pronound "it" to avoid unnecessary repetition. | Eric Zink | |
preschool | Mistranslations
preparatory school | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Wheel of Life and to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge | Inconsistencies
Why would you capitalize one of these terms and not the other? | Eric Zink | |
+1 Still in the first years of his marriage, he loved | Mistranslations
This seems to assume Herr Ratgeber is currently in the first years of his marriage. Past perfect of "loved" is more appropriate. | Sarah Lewis-Morgan | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the marriage ceremony, the bride could be heard crying, as if in anticipation of her sorry fate. Meanwhile the groom, Mr Peter Salamon Curius, looked around with a self-assured, scornful smile. The crux of the matter was that there was not a creature on God’s green earth to which he would have felt inferior.
When the wedding breakfast came to an end, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the building, full of apple trees and cherry trees. In his dull longing to be noticed, Engelhart isolated himself from the party and paced up and down in the depths of the garden, a way of walking he had picked up from grown-ups. The idea that had subconsciously drifted across his mind became a reality; the youngest cousin followed him and stood facing him, her dark eyes silently staring at him. After a while, Engelhart asked her what her name was –he had probably already heard it a few times but had not taken it in. Her name was Esmerelda, named after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This fact gave fresh energy to Engelhart’s prickling jealousy and he began to make boastful speeches. The deceiving spirit came upon him and in the end he stood powerless in the face of its delirious chatter. Esmee, who had stared at him in astonishment, laughed mockingly as she ran away.
Around this time, his parents made the decision, despite his being one year below statutory school age, to send him to preparatory classes. These were taught by an old teacher named Herschklamm. Mr Ratgeber, who thought very highly of Engelhart’s gifting and cherished great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him enter the arena of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought on his own youth, full of hardship and toil. In the first years of marriage he had still loved meaningful conversations and good books, maintaining an enthusiastic admiration of everything that he had been intellectually deprived of, everything that had, due to external circumstances, been withheld from him. | Entry #20701 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.40 | 2.00 (5 ratings) | 2.80 (5 ratings) |
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arena of life | Good term selection
nice approximation of a difficult concept | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
maintaining an enthusiastic admiration of everything that he had been intellectually deprived of, everything that had, due to external circumstances, been withheld from him | Flows well | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
- 2 users entered 15 "dislike" tags
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marriage | Mistranslations
It would be a wedding ceremony, but since "wedding" occurred in the previous sentence, this should simply be omitted. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
to which he would have felt inferior | Other
Flipping the logic simplifies the construction but is not as powerful of a statement. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
trees | Other
no need to repeat this word | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
isolated | Mistranslations
He didn't isolate himself, as we can see by the fact that a member of the party soon joined him; "separated" would be more accurate. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
garden, a | Omission
the present participle form of a verb is missing here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
way of walking | Other
"gait" is one third of the words | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
grown-ups | Omission
The definite article in German indicates a specific group of adults (probably those at the wedding). The English translation should use it as well. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
staring | Mistranslations
Does not convey the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
her | Other
unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the text | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
what her name was –he had probably already heard i | Other
A construction that allows a relative clause improves text flow. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid unnecessary repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
named | Syntax
This participle modifies the subject of the sentence, "her name". Clearly, her name was not named -- she was. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
on | Grammar errors
Rarely used with "think" -- much more likely "of" here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the marriage ceremony, the bride was heard to be crying - it seemed as if she had a presentiment of her unhappy fate; while the groom, Herr Peter Salomon Curius, looked about self-confidently and with a derisive sneer. The reason for this was that there was not a creature on God's earth to which he would not have believed himself superior.
When the wedding meal was over, Engehart was sent outdoors with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Prompted by the dull urge to attract attention, Engelhart split off from the group of other children and strode to and fro in the depth of the garden in a style of walking he had learned from the adults. What he had unconsciously imagined while doing this actually happened; his youngest cousin followed him, stood facing him and silently flashed the lightning of her dark eyes at him. After a while, Engelhart asked her her name, which he had indeed heard several times, but had not really taken in. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, but people called her Esmee. This fact once again wakened Engelhart's prickling sense of jealousy, and he began to declaim in a swaggering monologue. The lying spirit came over him; finally he was helpless in the face of his wild ranting, and Esmee, who had been gaping at him in astonishment, ran away, laughing mockingly.
Around this time, his parents - although he still had a year to go before he was compulsorily required to go to school - took the decision to send him to a preparatory class which was run by and old teacher by the name of Herschkamm. Herr Ratgeber, who set great store by Engelhart's talents and entertained great expectations of his future, was impatient to see him enter into the sphere of real life, to drink from the fount of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, full of renunciation and arduous effort. Even in the first years of his marriage, he liked conversations rich in content and good books, and preserved an enthusiastic regard for everything which remained spiritually denied and through external circumstances withheld from him | Entry #15499 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.37 | 2.33 (15 ratings) | 2.40 (15 ratings) |
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had not really taken in | Good term selection | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Other
adds nothing to the translation -- omit | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 ; | Punctuation
The structure of a complete sentence follows a semicolon. The structures of the two sentences around this punction therefore need reworked. | Eric Zink | |
+1 1 style of walking | Other
How about something less wordy, like "gait"? | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Does not properly convey the connotation of mimicry (as opposed to instruction). | Eric Zink | |
unconsciously imagined | Inconsistencies
How is it possible for anyone to do this? | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
While doing what? The translation seems to indicate striding to and fro, but the German indicates that this was the reason he was trying to attract attention in the first place (so he had been unconsiously imagining it before begin his striding). | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 lightning | Inconsistencies
'Dark eyes' and 'lightning' don't sit together comfortably. | Clive Phillips | |
-1 1 her | Other
Only one "her" is necessary; the addition of a second disrupts the flow of the text. | Eric Zink | |
indeed | Mistranslations
Not so keen on this: it makes me think it's responding to a suggestion/question. "Had he heard it before?" – "Yes indeed!" | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink | |
finally | Mistranslations
"in/at/by the end" | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
- | Punctuation
These should be em-dashes (—), or else en-dashes (–), but not hyphens (-). | D. I. Verrelli No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the first years of his marriage, he liked | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had liked". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
rich in content and good books | Syntax
Ambiguous: does "good books" go with "content" (rich in content and good books) or with conversations (he like conversations and good books)? The reader should not have to put forth the effort, however small, to figure this out. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
The context strongly indicates that "intellectually" is the correct term here. | Eric Zink | |
m | Punctuation
Where is the period? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day the wedding was held. During the ceremony the bride was heard weeping; it seemed as if she had a premonition of her fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curtius, looked around self-assuredly and smiling scornfully. Fact was that there was no creature on God’s Earth, to which he did not feel superior.
After the wedding feast had ended, Engelhart was sent outdoors together with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, replete with apple and cherry trees. Under a dull impulse to attract attention, Engelhart withdrew from the group and strode to and fro in the depth of the garden in a manner he had gleaned from the adults. What he then had in mind unconsciously, happened; the youngest cousin followed him, placed herself in front of him and silently flashed her dark eyes at him. After a while, Engelhart asked for her name, which he probably had heard a few times before, without really understanding it. She was named Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and was called Esmee. This circumstance reawakened again Engelhart’s thrilling jealousy, and he began talking boastfully. Mendaciousness took hold of him; in the end he stood powerless for all his delusional talking, and Esmee, who had stared at him with surprise, ran away laughing mockingly.
About this time his parents decided, even though he had a year left until obligatory attendance at school, to send him to a preparatory class that was conducted by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought the world of Engelhart’s talents and nurtured big expectations about his future, was impatient to see him entering the circle of life, drinking from the fountain of knowledge. He thought about his own youth filled with privations and burdens. Still being in the early years of his marriage he loved substantive chats and good books and maintained a passionate respect for everything that to him remained intellectually denied and through external circumstances inaccessible. | Entry #18269 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.36 | 2.14 (7 ratings) | 2.57 (7 ratings) |
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replete with apple and cherry trees | Good term selection | Fiona_N No agrees/disagrees | |
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Curtius | Spelling
Curius | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Fact was | Other
Quite informal for this text. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Under a dull impulse | Mistranslations
Odd choice of words. Dumpfe Triebe are more about subconcious desires/urges. | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
this comma skews the meaning of the rest of the sentence (it appears to be the closing comma of a defining clause). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling
Names are not usually understood, they are heard. "Registering" would work nicely here. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
What would this mean? | Eric Zink | |
big | Syntax
"Big" generally describes the size of concrete things. "Great" is for abstract things. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Grammar errors
needs a conjunction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
being | Other
Omitting this would not change the meaning and would greatly improve the style. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 that to him remained intellectually denied and through external circumstances inaccessible. | Syntax
Clumsily rendered - needs rearranging. | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
|
The other day was the wedding. During the ceremony you could hear the bride crying, it was as though she were foreseeing her bleak fate. Meanwhile the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, self-confident and grinning derisively, was looking around. The fact of the matter was that there was no creature on God's green earth over which he did not feel superior.
When the wedding meal was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a splendid garden behind the house, rife of apple and cherry trees. In his nagging urge to be noticed, Engelhart split from the rest of the group and walked in an adult's gait to and fro across the garden. What he had unconsciously intended to happen, happened; the youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him and glared at him in silence with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, though he had already heard it several times before, but had never actually grasped. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This fact awoke Engelhart's jealousy anew and he began to make showy remarks. The demon of lies overcame him and finally he was powerless to his delusive chatter. Esmee, who had been staring at him in bemusement, ran off with a mocking smile.
Around this time his parents had decided to send him to a preparatory class taught by an old instructor named Herschkamm, even though he still had a year before he had to obligatorily attend school. Mr. Counselor, who had a high opinion of Engelhart's talents and nurtured expectations of his future, was impatient in entering him into the circle of life, to see him drink from the spring of knowledge. He thought back on his own deprived, arduous youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he cherished fulfilling conversations and good books, maintaining an enthusiastic attention to all that which remained intellectually elusive and, through extraneous circumstances, withheld from him. | Entry #19570 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.32 | 2.25 (8 ratings) | 2.38 (8 ratings) |
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nagging urge to be noticed | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
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you could hear | Other
Why not passive? Second-person pronouns lower the register considerably. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
self-confident and grinning derisively, was looking around | Other
This sequence disrupts the connection between the two. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
over | Grammar errors
to | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 an adult's | Mistranslations
with a gait copied from the adults | Clive Phillips | |
-1 1 grasped | Mistranslations
You don't grasp names, you grasp concepts. You register names. | Eric Zink | |
+2 1 powerless to his delusive chatter. | Other
Doesn't make sense | philgoddard | |
| Mistranslations
From the context, laughter would fit better. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Ratgeber -- it's a proper name | Eric Zink | |
expectations | Omission
No approximation of "groß". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in entering | Grammar errors
to enter | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Grammar errors
requires a conjunction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the first years of his marriage he cherished | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "had cherished". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place the next day. During the exchange of vows the bride was heard weeping, as if she sensed that all would not be well. Meanwhile, the bridegroom, Herr Solomon Curius, looked around with a self-assured, mocking smile on his face. The truth was that there was nowhere on the face of the earth where he would not have felt master of all he surveyed.
Once the wedding ceremony was over, Engelhart and the other children were sent out to play. There was a lovely little garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry-trees. Succumbing to a mysterious urge, Engelhart sneaked away from the group and, mimicking one of the grownups, strode up and down in the middle of the garden. Then something happened that he didn't suspect and was quite unprepared for; his youngest cousin followed him, placed herself just in front of him and silently flashed her dark eyes towards him. After a while, Engelhart asked her her name, which he had already heard several times but had not really taken in. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of his uncle Michael in Vienna, and most people called her Esmee. This aroused Engelhard's rather prickly jealousy, so he started to boast. A lying spirit overpowered him, and soon there was nothing he could do to stop his crazy lies from pouring out of his mouth, while Esmee, who had startled him so, ran away, laughing loudly at him.
At about that time his parents decided, though he was not due to start his compusory schooling for another year, to send him to a perparatory school, where an elderly man by the name of Herschkamm was the headmaster. Herr Ratgeber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart's talents and who expected great things from him in the future, was impatient to bring him into the circle of true life and see him drinking from the fountainhead of knowledge. He reflected on the deprivation and the courage of his own youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he had loved deep conversation and good books, and he remained restlessly curious about everything that his mind had been denied or had been withheld from him through no fault of his own. | Entry #16898 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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+1 nowhere on the face of the earth where he would not have felt master of all he surveyed | Mistranslations
Does not capture the German original (which does not focus on a location, but a being). | Eric Zink | |
cherry-trees | Punctuation
not hyphenated | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
mysterious | Mistranslations
More subconscious or primitive | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
sneaked | Mistranslations
No indication that he was avoiding notice | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
'mimicking the grownups'. No indication that the walking up and down of only one grownup is mimicked. | Clive Phillips | |
her | Other
Only one her necessary; the omission of the other greatly improves the style. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
This aroused Engelhard's rather prickly jealousy | Omission
Where is "von neuem"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
had been staring at him in amazement | Eric Zink | |
school | Mistranslations
course or class | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
headmaster | Mistranslations
Related to the previous error; this man is the teacher. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
who | Other
Not necessary to repeat the relative pronoun | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
true | Other
Nothing in the German original to indicate any sort of true-artificial tension. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the next day. The bride cried through the ceremony as if foreseeing her unhappy fate, as the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around himself with a confident, contemptuous smile. The bottom line was that there was no being in all of creation to which he did not feel himself superior.
As the wedding feast came to an end, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a charming garden full of apple and cherry trees behind the house. To stand out in the dull drive, Engelhart separated himself from the company and began pacing to and fro in the depths of the garden in the fashion he had picked up from the adults. The unconscious motivation behind this performance materialized then: His youngest cousin followed him, positioned herself opposite him and silently glared at him with somber eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had likely already heard a few times but had not really registered it. Her name was Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This fact reawakened Engelhart’s prickling jealousy and he launched into a blustering harangue. The devil took hold of him until he was powerless to stop his own furious prattle, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, laughed mockingly as she ran off.
At this time his parents resolved to send him to a preparatory class, in spite of the year still standing between him and compulsory school attendance; the class was led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. The Counselor, who had a high opinion of Engelhart’s abilities and great expectations for his future, was impatient to see the boy introduced to the circle of life and drinking from the well of knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and arduous youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he had loved pithy discussions and good books; he maintained an enthusiastic respect for anything that overwhelmed him intellectually and remained out of reach due to external circumstances. | Entry #19301 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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+1 he maintained an enthusiastic respect for anything that overwhelmed him intellectually and remained out of reach due to external circumstances. | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
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through | Mistranslations
The German does not indicate how long she cried. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
himself | Other
Unnecessary and unnatural. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
The bottom line | Other
Far too colloquial. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
As the wedding feast came to an end | Mistranslations
No, after it had ended. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
drive | Mistranslations
What would a "drive" be in this context? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 : His | Grammar errors
Capital only at start of sentence. | Clive Phillips | |
somber | Omission
dark | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
had | Other
The helping verb does not need to be repeated and disrupts the flow. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
it | Grammar errors
"Which" is understood to be the object of both verbs, so no other object is acceptable. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
devil | Mistranslations
The "Lügengeist" is not the devil. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in spite of the year still standing | Other
unnatural construction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 The Counselor | Mistranslations | Fiona_N | |
|
The next day the wedding took place. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying. It seemed as if she were able to augur her sad fate. Meanwhile, the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, was self-confidently leering around with a derisive smile. The fact of the matter was that there was no creature on God's earth in relation to whom he would not have felt himself superior.
When the wedding dinner was over, Engelhart was sent outdoors with the other children. There was a charming arboretum behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. Giving in to his base urges, Engelhart parted from his company and walked back and forth in the depths of the arboretum with a gate he had imitated from the adults. Something that had unconsciously floated through his mind at that time actually transpired. His youngest cousin followed him, placing herself directly across from him and flashing her dark eyes silently at him. After a while Engelhart inquired as to her name, which he had certainly heard several times before, but had not actually registered. Her name was Esmeralda, named after Uncle Michael’s wife in Vienna, but people called her Esmee. This circumstance reawakened Engelhart’s impassioned jealousy, and he began to carry on a pretentious discourse. The spirit of deception overcame him and in the end he stood there powerlessly confronting his maniacal banter. Esmee, who had gazed at him with admiration, ran away from there jeeringly.
About this time his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class led by an elderly teacher by the name of Herschkamm, in spite of the fact that he still had one more year until obligatory school attendance. Mr. Ratgeber, who saw great promise in Engelhart’s talent and possessed great expectations about his future, was excited to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fount of knowledge. He pondered his own deprived and difficult youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he adored conversations rich in content as well as good books. He maintained a fanciful appreciation for everything that had been denied him intellectually and had been withheld from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #19831 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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augur | Mistranslations
'augur': (of an event or circumstance) portend a good or bad outcome. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
leering around | Mistranslations
"Leer" has a sexual component not indicated in the source text, nor is the term usually used in conjunction with "around". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 Giving in to his base urges | Omission
omitted: "to stand out" | AnYulan Trans | |
at that time | Syntax
Unclear what time is meant. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Since there is not question what noun is being referred to, the pronoun "it" should be used to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Syntax
Since "Her name" is the subject of the sentence, this construction indicates that her name was named ... (and of course it's not, she is). | Eric Zink | |
discourse | Mistranslations
'discourse' involves more than one person. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling
banter: the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks. | Clive Phillips | |
admiration | Mistranslations
"Verwundert" gives no indication that she had admired him. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
from there | Other
Unnecessary, should be omitted. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
Adverb does not meaningfully modify the verb, and "lachend" in the source text is neglected. | Eric Zink | |
in spite of the fact that | Other
Unnecessarily wordy (this entire string could be replaced with "although" without changing the meaning). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
possessed | Other
Not optimal ("harbored" would be more precise, for instance) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
excited | Mistranslations
Does not get the sense of "ungeduldig" well; "eager" would have been better, for instance. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the first years of his marriage he adored | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had adored". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
rich in content as well as good books | Other
Unnecessary ambiguity. Does the "as well as" refer to "content" (rich in content and good books) or conversations (he adored conversations and good books)? True the reader can discern the intention with a little effort, but is an effort the translator should spare him. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the other day. One could hear the bride crying during the wedding ceremony, it seemed as if she was able to anticipate her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, was confidently looking around and sneering. The thing was, that there was not a single creature on God's earth, he didn't feel superior over.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside, together with the other children. Behind the house was a lovely garden, full with apple and cherry trees. In a gloomy urge to attract attention Engelhart secluded himself from the party and walked back and forth in the deep of the garden, at a pace he had learned by watching adults. What he had unwittingly in mind by doing so happened; the youngest cousin followed him, stood face-to-face with him and glared at him silently with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her about her name, which he had heard several times before, but nonetheless never could really comprehend. Her name was Esmeralda, after uncle Michael's wife from Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This circumstance aroused Engelhart's prickling jealousy anew, and he started a boastful speech. The spirit of lies came upon him, and in the end he was powerlessly facing his delusional ramblings, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, walked away sneering.
Around this time his parents made the decision, to send him to a preparatory class that was run by an old teacher named Herschkamm, even though he would have had one more year left before mandatory school attendance. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought the world of Engelhart's talent and fostered great expectations for his future was eager to see him enter the circle of life and to drink from the fountain of knowledge. He was thinking about his own youth full of hardship and difficulty. During the first years of his marriage he still loved meaningful conversations and good books, and he maintained an enthusiastic respect for everything that had been denied to him intellectually and withheld from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #16003 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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-1 1 One could hear | Other
Passive would be an improvement hear. | Eric Zink | |
, | Grammar errors
Without a conjunction here, the sentence is a run-on. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 was confidently looking | Grammar errors
Continuous doesn't work here. | Eric Zink | |
, | Punctuation
No comma before a defining relative clause. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
with | Grammar errors
of | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
at a pace | Spelling
"At a pace" is used to designate speed, not manner. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 face-to-face | Mistranslations
entails a proximity that "gegenüber" does not | Eric Zink | |
about her | Mistranslations
If he wanted to know her name, he would ask for it, not about it. Or he could ask her name, which would probably be best here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
never could | Mistranslations
It's not that he never could -- he just hadn't to that point. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Since there is not question what noun is being referred to, the pronoun (It) would work better here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 walked | Mistranslations
"Walked" would be "ging". She ran. | Eric Zink | |
| Punctuation
There's a comma there in German, but not in English. | Eric Zink | |
would have | Grammar errors
had | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
future was | Punctuation
The closing comma for the non-defining relative clause belongs between these two words. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
During the first years of his marriage he still loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "during" does not work. If he is not, it should be "had still loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
On the other day there was the wedding. During the ceremony the bride was heard crying, it seemed as if she anticipated her sad fate, while the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around in a self-confident manner, smiling scornfully. The thing was that there was not one creation on God's planet to whom he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding meal was over, Engelhart was sent outdoors with the other children. The garden behind the house was lovely and full of apple and cherry trees. In order to attract attention in dull every-day life, Engelhart separated himself from society and walked up and down the depth of the garden in a way copied from adults. What he had unconciously anticipated whilst doing so happened; the youngest cousin followed him, stood opposite him and glared at him in silence with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her for her name, which he had actually already heard several times, but not actually understood. Her name was Esmeralda, named after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna and people called her Esmee.This circumstance led anew to Engelhart's tingly jealousy and he began to tell things in a boastful manner. The temptation to lie overcame him, in the end he was powerless in the face of his crazy talk and Esmee, who had stared at him in bewilderment, ran away laughing mockingly.
Around this time his parents made the decision to send him to a prep class, although he still had one year's time to start school on a mandatory basis, at which an old teacher called Herschkamm was the director. Mr Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelharts talent and had high expectations of his future, was impatient to see him walk into the circle of life and drink from the well of knowledge. He thought of his own exhausting youth, which had been full of hardship. Still in the first years of his life, he loved meaningful conversations and good books and maintained a rapturous regard for everything he had been deprived of mentally and which had been kept from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #16139 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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the youngest cousin followed him, stood opposite him and glared at him in silence with dark eyes | Flows well | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
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On the other day there was the wedding | Other
Unnecesarily convoluted (How about just "The wedding was the next day"?) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
other | Spelling
next | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Grammar errors
run-on sentence; needs a conjunction here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
every-day life | Mistranslations
How do we get this from "Trieb"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
way | Other
odd for this register. "Manner" might work. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
anticipated | Mistranslations
More "wanted" or "hoped for". | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
whilst doing so | Mistranslations
Doing what? This translation means while walking up and down, but the German makes it probable that this was his motive in leaving the group. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
her | Other
Unnecessary and disrupts flow. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
actually | Other
Already used "actually" in this sentence. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Names are not generally understood (the verb "hear" generally covers that content). "Register" would work well here. | Eric Zink | |
understood. | Mistranslations
or couldn't remember. | S4S Translation No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
named | Grammar errors
Since the subject of the sentence is "her name", this sentence implies that her name is named after the aunt. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
T | Omission
Normally a space after the period. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
tell things | Other
Odd combination. "Say" is normally used with "things". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
to start school | Omission
before he had to ... | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
which | Other
The relative clause should be as close to the noun it modifies as possible. Here a clause is needlessly interposed. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
director | Mistranslations
What does it mean to be the director of a class? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
high | Other
A version of high was already used in this sentence. Variety would be nice. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
mentally | Mistranslations
intellectually | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the other day. During the ceremony the bride was heard crying, it seemed as if she had a premonition about her sad fate, while the groom, Mister Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around confidently and with a sneering grin on his face. The thing was that there was no being on God’s earth he would have not felt superior over.
After the wedding feast, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. It was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In a dull drive to attract attention, Engelhart separated from the wedding party and paced around in the deepness of the garden in a manner he had learned and copied from the adults. What he had envisioned subconsciously in doing so did occur; the youngest cousin followed him, positioned herself across from him and glared at him in silence with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked for her name, which he had perhaps heard a couple of times but which he had in fact not comprehended. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of the uncle named Michael in Vienna, and they called her Esmee. This circumstance aroused Engelhart’s tingling jealousy anew and he started to rant ostentatiously. A wave of lies washed over him, finally he had lost all power over his own delusional words, and Esmee, having stared at him with a puzzled look on her face, turned and ran away, a mocking laugh leaving her lips.
It was around that time that his parents decided to send him to attend classes at a preparatory school, headed by an elderly teacher named Herschkamm, despite the fact that Engelhart still had a year until school attendance would be mandatory. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talents and entertained great expectations for his future, was impatient to see Engelhart enter the circle of life and drink from the fountain of wisdom. He thought of his own youth, full of deprivation and arduousness. Still in the first years of his marriage he loved rich conversations and good books, and kept a romanticized admiration for everything he had been denied spiritually and all the things he had been deprived of because of external circumstances. | Entry #16856 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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, it | Spelling
run-on -- a conjunction needs inserted here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Mister | Inconsistencies
Why not contract, as is done in the final paragraph? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
over | Grammar errors
to | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
It was | Grammar errors
There was | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
separated | Grammar errors
this verb is normally transitive | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
deepness | Other
depth | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
learned and copied | Other
Do we really need both verbs? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
did occur | Grammar errors
Any reason for the helping verb? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
which he | Other
extraneous | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Normally if you hear a name, you comprehend it. You may not register it ... | Eric Zink | |
Her name | Other
use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
they | Syntax
Who is "they"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
a mocking laugh leaving her lips | Other
unnecessarily convoluted | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
classes at a preparatory school | Mistranslations
'preparatory classes' (not necessarily at a school). | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma before a defining relative clause | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Engelhart | Other
why not him? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
spiritually | Mistranslations
"Mentally" fits the context much better. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place the next day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, seemingly as if foretelling her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confidently cast a jeering smile around the room. In truth, there was nothing in God's earthly creation to which he did not feel superior.
At the conclusion of the wedding feast, Engelhart and the other children were dispatched outside. The lovely garden behind the house was filled with apple and cherry trees. Feeling a dull urge to command attention, Engelhart pulled away from the group and ran this way and that through the thick of the garden, affecting a gait he had learned by watching the adults. His unconscious intention in doing this was fulfilled; his youngest cousin followed, stopping in front of him, her dark eyes flashing silently. After awhile Engelhart asked her her name, having heard it a few times but not recalling it now. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. Hearing this, Engelhart tingled anew with envy, and he launched into boasting. Finally, however, bitten by the lying-bug, he weakly reached the end of his delusional raving, and Esmee, who had been looking at him in astonishment, sniggered and ran away.
Around this time, though a year's mandatory schooling remained, his parents elected to place him into a preparatory program directed by an old teacher named Herschkamm. His adviser, who believed strongly in Engelhart's talent and held high hopes for his future, was eager to launch him into the circle of life, to see him drink from the font of knowledge. He recalled the void of his own arduous youth. In the early years of his marriage, he had already loved rich conversation and good books, and he retained an enthusiastic esteem for all that had eluded his intellectual grasp and, through circumstances beyond his control, been denied him. | Entry #18659 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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ran | Mistranslations
Nothing to indicate he ran. "Strode" would work well. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Makes it sound as if the garden is overgrown. | Clive Phillips | |
this | Mistranslations
In doing what? The translation indicates running back and forth, but the German indicates that it was the entire reason for him attracting attention (and thus leaving the group) in the first place. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 her | Other
Only one "her" necessary; the addition of a second disrupts the flow of the text. | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink | |
tingled | Mistranslations
"Tingle" is not generally transitive, and in any case is a poor approximiation for "erweckte". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
sniggered and ran away | Mistranslations
A minor point, but the sequence of the translation is a snigger and then running away, while the German has them happening simultaneously. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 though a year's mandatory schooling remained | Mistranslations | Jane Eggers | |
His adviser | Mistranslations
a proper name: Mr. Ratgeber | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
font | Mistranslations
The only font that contains anything to drink is something like a baptismal font, where you shouldn't be drinking. "Fount" or "fountain" is what you want here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
void | Mistranslations
Nothing in the German to indicate he considered it a void. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was to take place the next day. One could hear the bride weeping during the ceremony. It seems that she had foreseen her unfortunate destiny. However, the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confidently looked around smiling derisively. The fact was that there was no creature on earth he had not felt superior to.
Engelhart was sent outdoors with the other children as the wedding feast came to an end. There was a charming garden full of apple and cherry trees behind the house. In a dull impulse to attract attention, Engelhart isolated himself from his company and paced back and forth into one of the paths deep in the garden used by the adults and of which he had eavesdropped. Then something that he unwittingly intended happened: the youngest of the cousins had followed him, stood face-to-face and glared at him with dark eyes in silence. After a while, Engelhart asked her name – he had heard the name quite a few times but had not actually caught on. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna. She was called Esmee. This fact stirred up a twinge of jealousy in Engelhart all over again and he started to speak in an ostentatious manner. The spirit of lying came over him and finally he stood helpless face-to-face with his speech full of delirium. Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran from there laughing scornfully.
At that time, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class conducted by an old teacher called Herschkamm, although he still had a year of obligatory school attendance to fulfil. The counsellor, who thought highly of Engelhart's talent and cherished great expectations from his future, was impatient to have him enter the circle of life to see him drink from the source of knowledge. He thought of his own youth that was full of deprivation and difficulties. In the first few years of his married life he liked the profound conversations and good books and perpetuated an enthusiastic regard for all that he was denied and deprived of till now due to external circumstances. | Entry #16885 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.22 | 2.14 (7 ratings) | 2.29 (7 ratings) |
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into | Syntax
into implies a single direction only; it does not work with "back and forth" | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
one of the paths | Mistranslations
nothing about a path in the source text | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 used by the adults and of which he had eavesdropped | Mistranslations | Rachel Hutcheson | |
| Mistranslations
face-to-face implies a close proximity not indicated in the source text | Eric Zink | |
asked her name – he had heard the name | Other
poor construction choice -- relative clause would have worked much better and avoided the repetition of "name" | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
caught on | Mistranslations
"catch on" is not an appropriate verb for remembering a name (you catch on to things like processes, relationships between facts, skills, plots, etc.) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
face-to-face with | Mistranslations
Does not adequately express that his speech is the thing he is powerless over (as it is, it remains completely unclear what he is helpless over, or that there is a specific thing). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
from there | Syntax
"ran off" sounds much better | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 although he still had a year of obligatory school attendance to fulfil | Mistranslations | Rachel Hutcheson | |
+1 1 the | Mistranslations
Which conversations are not specified - he likes good conversation in a general sense. | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the ceremony you could hear the bride crying, as if anticipating her unhappy fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around confidently with a snide smile. The truth of the matter was that there was not a creature on God's green earth he couldn't feel superior to.
When the wedding feast had been finished, Engelhart was sent outside along with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple trees and cherry trees. In a dull urge to attract attention, Engelhart detached himself from the group and paced back and forth deep in the garden with a gait that he had copied from a grown up. What he had unconsciously had in mind during this exercise, happened; the youngest cousin followed him, positioned herself opposite him, and silently glared at him with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked after her name, which he had already heard several times but never actually paid attention to. Her name was Esmerelda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she went by Esmee. This fact caused Engelhart's tingling jealousy to arise anew, and he began to speak boastfully. He was overpowered by the lying spirit, and in the end he was powerless faced with his crazed ramblings. And Esmee, who had gaped at him in astonishment, ran away, laughing mockingly.
Around this time, and despite the fact that he still had one year left of obligatory school attendance, his parents made up their minds to send him to a preparatory class taught by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgaber, who had a high opinion of Engelhart's aptitude and who harbored high expectations of his future, was impatient to see Engelhart enter the stage of life where he could drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought back on his own youth filled with hardship and struggle. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved deep discussions and good books and maintained quixotic respect for everything that remained intellectually denied him and withheld from him due to external circumstances. | Entry #19501 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 2.20 | 2.00 (5 ratings) | 2.40 (5 ratings) |
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| Other
Passive! Using second-person pronouns lowers the register. | Eric Zink | |
glanced | Syntax
If someone is confident, he doesn't glance around -- he gazes. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
had been finished | Other
Past perfect is not the most natural way to express this (past tense works just as well with fewer words). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
grown up | Spelling
grown-up | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
Don't separate subject and verb with a comma. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Spelling
Since there is no confusion about the noun being referred to, the pronoun would work better here (avoiding repetition). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
powerless faced | Other
Not sure what construction was intended here, but these words as they stand need to be separated by a comma. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 he still had one year left of obligatory school attendance | Mistranslations
he had one year to go before he would be required to attend school | Jane Eggers | |
the stage of life where | Mistranslations
There are two things he wants; one is for Engelhart to enter "den Kreis des Lebens" and the other has to do with the fountain of knowledge. This translation neglects the first. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the early years of his marriage, the "even" makes no sense. If he is not, it should be "he had loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
quixotic | Omission
If an adjective is used with respect, it must be preceded by an article. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the day of the wedding. During the ceremony the bride could be heard sobbing, it seemed as though she had a premonition of the sad fate awaiting her, while the groom, Herr Salomon Curius, glanced confidently around the room, smiling smugly. The fact of the matter was that he felt himself superior to the rest of the entire human race.
When the wedding banquet was over Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a delightful garden at the back of the house, full of apple and cherry trees.
With a vague urge to stand out he split up from the rest of the party and began striding back and forth, deep in the heart of the garden, walking in a manner that he had modelled on that of an adult. What he had sub-consciously planned actually occurred: his youngest cousin followed him and confronted him, her dark eyes staring at him in silence. After a while Engelhart asked her her name, which he must have heard a few times but in fact hadn't registered. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was known as Esmee. That fact triggered another bout of jealousy and he began to blow his own trumpet. The lying got way out of hand and eventually his crazy fabrications left him hopelessly exposed: Esmee who had been watching him in amazement ran off amid a burst of scornful laughter.
Around this time his parents took the decision to send him to a preparatory class run by an old teacher named Herschkamm, even though the boy still had a year of compulsory schooling still to go. The Counsellor thought Engelhart extremely intelligent and had very high expectations for his future. He couldn't wait to see him take his place in the adult world and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought back to his own deprived, troubled childhood. Even in the first years of his marriage he still enjoyed heated discussions and good books, and retained his enthusiasm for all those things which had been denied him intellectually by circumstances beyond his control. | Entry #20848 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 2.20 | 2.40 (5 ratings) | 2.00 (5 ratings) |
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-1 +1 1 The next day was the day of the wedding. | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps | |
glanced confidently around the room | Good term selectionZack watched in dazed admiration as she smiled, then glanced confidently around the room as if she knew how hot, beautiful, and charming she was.Link: http://www.karenlettau.com/chapter-1/ | Andy George 1 No agrees/disagrees | |
What he had sub-consciously planned actually occurred | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
blow his own trumpet. | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
The lying got way out of hand and eventually his crazy fabrications left him hopelessly exposed: | Good term selection | Dorothy Schaps No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 15 "dislike" tags
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- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
+1 1 , | Grammar errors
run-on sentence; conjunction needed here | Eric Zink | |
-1 1 glanced | Mistranslations
Someone who is confident does not glance -- he gazes. | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
Nothing in the source text that limits his superiority to people. | Eric Zink | |
| Other
The second "her" is unnecessary and the repetition is a bit awkward. | Eric Zink | |
| Other
Since we know what noun is in question, "It" would work fine here and sounds better. | Eric Zink | |
who had been watching him in amazement | Punctuation
non-defining relative clause should be set off by commas | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
amid | Syntax
"Amid" leaves it unclear who is laughing (and would normally indicate that more than one person was laughing). "With is what you want here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 the boy still had a year of compulsory schooling still to go | Mistranslations
he had a year before his compulsory schooling would begin | Jane Eggers | |
| Mistranslations
Noooo! Mr. Ratgeber - i.e. Engelhardt's father! | Dorothy Schaps | |
Even in the first years of his marriage he still enjoyed | Grammar errors
If he is in the first years of his marriage at this point in the story, the "even" makes no sense. If not, it would need to be "had still enjoyed". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Omission
Insert 'and' between 'intellectually' and 'by'. | Clive Phillips | |
|
The wedding was on the following day. One could hear the bride crying during the ceremony; it seemed that she had a premonition of her sad destiny, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, was looking around with a self-assured, scornful smile. As a matter of fact, there was no creature on the face of this earth to which he didn’t consider himself superior.
When the wedding reception was over, Engelhart and the other kids were told to go outside. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In his muffled eagerness to attract attention, Engelhart detached himself from the group, pacing up and down in a gait copied from adults, in the back of the garden. What he unconsciously had in mind, happened; the youngest cousin followed him and stood before him, silently glancing at him with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had surely heard a few times before but had never really grasped. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna and they called her Esmee. This new slant aroused Engelhart’s prickling jealousy again and he went into ostentatious bragging. He was overcome by the lying spirit; in the end he just stood there, powerless against his delusional chatter and Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, ran away laughing mockingly.
Around this time, his parents have come to the decision of sending him to a preparatory class conducted by an old teacher called Herschkamm, even though he still had one year before compulsory school attendance. The counselor, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talents, was eager to enter him into the Circle of Life, and see him drinking from the Fountain of Knowledge. He thought of his own deprived and laborious youth. Still during the first years of his marriage, he loved conversations with substance and good books and maintained an enthusiastic respect for everything that remained intellectually denied to him and out of reach due to external circumstances. | Entry #16919 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 2.17 | 2.00 (6 ratings) | 2.33 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
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One could hear | Other
Why not passive? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was looking | Syntax
Use of continuous in conjunction with "while" is ambiguous. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
reception | Mistranslations
A reception and a meal are not the same thing. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
I think 'kids' is too slangy for this kind of text | Dorothy Schaps | |
adults | Omission
The German uses the definite article, indicating a specific group of adults (presumably those at the wedding); the English translation should do the same. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
had | Grammar errors
Should be past perfect. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
No comma between subject and verb. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
glancing | Mistranslations
Anblitzen is definitely not glancing. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
grasped | Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped; names are registered. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
they | Other
Who are "they"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
slant | Mistranslations
A slant throws known information into new light; there is no indication of anything of the sort here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 Around this time, his parents have come to the decision | Grammar errors
Tenses wrong '...his parents had come...' | Dorothy Schaps | |
of sending | Grammar errors
to send | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 The counselor | Mistranslations | Fiona_N | |
|
The wedding was the other day. During the wedding ceremony the bride was heard crying, it seemed she already suspected her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, smiled confidently and looked around scornfully. The thing is, there is no creature on God's earth, which he would not have felt superior over.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other kids. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In a dull drive to attract attention, Engelhart segregated from the party, and walked in an adult like manner, back and forth, in the depth of the garden. What he had unconsciously envisioned, happening; his youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and flashed him silently with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, he must have heard it a few times but it never really registered. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of his uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. These circumstance aroused anew Engelharts tingling jealousy, and he began to lead boastful speeches. The lying spirit came over him, at the end, he was powerless against his delusional talk and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away laughing mockingly.
Around this time, his parents made the decision that, although he had another year before he had to start school, to send him to a preparatory class, which was led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. The couselor, who thought highly of Engelharts talent and entertained great expectations of his future, was impatient to see him enter into the circle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own hardship and troublesome youth. Even in the first years of his marriage, he loved substantial conversations and good books and maintained a fanatical respect for all that was mentally denied to him and withheld by external circumstances. | Entry #17990 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 2.17 | 1.83 (6 ratings) | 2.50 (6 ratings) |
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+1 1 The thing is, there is no creature on God's earth, which he would not have felt superior over. | Grammar errors | philgoddard | |
is | Grammar errors
was | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma before defining clause | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
over | Grammar errors
to | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
kids | Other
Register -- should be "children". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in an adult like manner | Mistranslations
Does not capture the idea that he was consciously mimicking adults he had seen. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
adult like | Punctuation
If this term is to be used, it should be hyphenated. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Not idiomatic English (you can flash someone, but you don't use you eyes to do it). | Eric Zink | |
, he | Grammar errors
This construction is a run-on sentence. A relative clause could have prevented that. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
No confusion about what noun is being referred to, so use a pronoun (it) to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 These circumstance aroused anew Engelharts tingling jealousy, | Syntax
and circumstance should be plural. | philgoddard | |
Engelharts | Punctuation
Engelhart's | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors
Speeches are not led. | Eric Zink | |
, | Grammar errors
run-on sentence -- needs a conjunction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
that | Grammar errors
If a to-infinitive is to be used after the aside, this "that" needs to go away. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
Mr. Ratgeber, a proper name | Eric Zink | |
Engelharts | Punctuation
Engelhart's | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
troublesome | Mistranslations
'troubled' rather than 'troublesome'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the first years of his marriage, he loved | Grammar errors
If he is in the first few years of his marriage, "even" makes no sense; if he is not, it should be "he had loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
mentally | Mistranslations
intellectually | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
to | Grammar errors
deny, not deny to | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was the following day. During the ceremony the bride could be heard crying, it seemed as if she already anticipated her tragic fate, whilst the bridegroom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, looked around him with a scornful and self-confident smile. The thing was, that there was no-one on earth to whom he would not have felt superior.
As the wedding breakfast was coming to an end, Engelhart and the other children were sent out to play. It was a charming back garden full of apple and cherry trees. Feeling a vague desire to draw attention to himself, Engelhart moved away from the other children and strode up and down at the bottom of the garden in a way he had learnt from adults. The thing that he unconsciously had had in mind, took place; his youngest cousin followed him, stood opposite him and fixed her dark eyes on him without speaking. After a while Engelhart asked the girl her name as he had heard it a few times before, but had never understood what it was. She said her name was Esmeralda and that she was named after the wife of her Uncle Michael who lives in Vienna. She said people call her Esmee. This made Engelhart feel jealous again and he started to talk in a boastful way. Lies seemed to be all he could think of, by the end he couldn’t stop talking nonsense. Esmee, who had been staring at him in amazement, ran away laughing in a mocking way.
Engelhart’s parents had just made the decision to send him to a preparatory class taught by an old teacher called Mr Herschkamm, even though he still had one year of compulsory education left. Mr Ratgeber, who put great store by his son’s potential and harboured great expectations for his future, was impatient for his son to enter the real world, to see him drink from the source of knowledge. He thought of his deprived and arduous youth. Even in the first years of his marriage he loved deep conversations and good books and had a enthusiastic respect for everything that he was denied intellectually and was excluded from due to external circumstances. | Entry #19078 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.17 | 2.00 (6 ratings) | 2.33 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 19 "dislike" tags
- 6 users agreed with "dislikes" (8 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
, i | Grammar errors
run-on sentence | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
Unlike a dass clause, a that clause is not preceded by a comma. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
adults | Omission
The German includes the definite article, indicating a specific group of adults (presumably those at the wedding). The English should do the same. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
fixed her dark eyes on him | Mistranslations
Does not capture the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
understood what it was | Mistranslations
This makes no sense. "Registered" would do, though. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
She said | Other
Unnecessary and, especially since it is repeated, unnecessarily expands the target text. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 lives | Inconsistencies
should be past tense to match narrative time | Eric Zink | |
She said | Other
Unnecessary and, especially since it is repeated, unnecessarily expands the target text. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Grammar errors
run-on sentence | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
laughing in a mocking way | Other
use of an adverb instead of "in a ... way" would be much more elegant | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
had just made the decision | Mistranslations
This indicates that the decision came before the wedding, while the German only indicates that they were roughly at the same time. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 he still had one year of compulsory education left | Mistranslations
he had one year left until he would be obliged to start school | Jane Eggers | |
his son | Other
Use the pronoun "him" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Even in the first years of his marriage he loved | Grammar errors
If he is still in the first years of his marriage, "even" makes not sense; if he is not, it should be "he had loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
a | Grammar errors
an | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. One could hear the bride weep during the ceremony; it seemed as if she could sense her impending sad fate, while the groom, Mister Peter Salomon Curius, was casting about self-assured and scornfully smiling glances. The thing was that there wasn’t a creature on God’s earth to which he did not deem himself superior.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In order to stand out from the dull bustling crowd, Engelhart parted ways with his company and paced back and forth in the depths of the garden, mimicking the gait he had seen the grown-ups use. What he had unconsciously anticipated, occurred; the youngest cousin followed him, faced him, and flashed her dark eyes at him in silence. After a while Engelhart asked her name, which he had heard a few times, but never really grasped. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and people called her Esmee. This circumstance rekindled Engelhart’s tingling jealousy, and he began to brag and boast. The genie of lies took over his mind; at the end he was helplessly defeated by his own crazed talk, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in bewilderment, ran away with a sneering laugh.
Right around this time, even though he still had a year left before he was obligated to go to school, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class led by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mister Ratgeber, who thought the world of Engelhart’s talent, and harbored great expectations regarding his future, was impatient to see the boy enter the circle of life and drink from the springs of knowledge. He was thinking of his own deprived and arduous youth. In the early years of his marriage, he still loved deep conversations and good books, and kept an adoring respect for all he had been denied intellectually and from which outer circumstances had deprived him. | Entry #18095 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.00 | 1.60 (5 ratings) | 2.40 (5 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 14 "dislike" tags
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One could hear | Other
Why not passive? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
; it seemed as if she could sense her impending sad fate, | Punctuation
The semicolon and comma do not go well together. The semicolon almost requires a period where the comma currently is. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Mister | Spelling
Normally contracted | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
glances | Other
self-assured people don't cast about glances -- the tend to gaze | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
In order to stand out from the dull bustling crowd | Mistranslations
'In a vague desire to stand out, Engelhard ...'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 dull bustling | Mistranslations
What is dull bustling? Or was dull intended to be an adverb? But can anything bustle dully? | Eric Zink | |
the gait | Grammar errors
Surely the grown-ups used more than one gait, meaning that an indefinite article would be more accurate? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and object | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
grasped | Mistranslations
Concepts are grasped, names are registered. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
at | Grammar errors
in | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Mister | Spelling
Normally contracted | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The next day was the wedding. Throughout the ceremony you could hear the bride weeping, it seemed that she had augured her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around himself in confidence and with an arrogant sneer. The point is this, there was no creature on God's green earth against which he would not have felt superior.
As the wedding feast came to an end, Engelhardt was sent outside with the other children. Behind the house was a lovely garden, full of apple and cherry trees. In calling attention to a vague urge, Engelhardt cut himself off from his companions and paced back and forth in the depths of the garden, in a manner mimicking an adult. It then happened, that which he unknowingly had in mind: the youngest cousin had followed him, stood right in front of him and glared at him silently with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhardt asked her for her name, which he most likely heard a few times already but never actually committed to memory. She was named Esmeralda, after the wife of Uncle Michael in Vienna, and you called her Esmee. This just so happened to reawaken Engelhardt's prickling jealousy, and so he began to bluster and boast. The extravagant lies possessed him, and in the end he stood powerless in the face of his fanciful, boisterous ramblings, and Esmee, who was staring at him in bewilderment, ran from the spot jeering and laughing mockingly.
It was about this time that his parents came to the conclusion that they should send him to preparatory class, led by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm, even though he still had a year to go before he was required to attend school. Mr. Ratgeber, who genuinely held Engelhardt's talent in high regard and harbored great expectations for his future, was eager to see him enter life's circles, to see him drink from the well of knowledge. He thought on his own youth, full of deprivation and hardship. He loved rich conversations and good books well into the first years of his marriage, and maintained an enthusiastic respect for all that which eluded him intellectually and which remained denied to him due to external circumstances. | Entry #19607 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 2.00 | 1.67 (6 ratings) | 2.33 (6 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
ran from the spo | Flows well | nchomeldoe No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 13 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (3 total agrees)
you could hear | Spelling
Use passive. Second-person pronoun reduces formality. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
weeping, it | Spelling
run-on sentence | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
calling attention to a vague urge | Spelling
incorrect tanslation | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
calling attention to a vague urge | Mistranslations | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 It then happened, that which he unknowingly had in mind | Spelling
Far too convoluted -- for one thing, the it-that combination to express the subject | Eric Zink | |
you called her | Spelling
Again, passive -- second-person pronoun reduces formality | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was | Spelling
This needs to be past perfect | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
life's circles | Spelling
not an easy thing to translate, but this doesn't do it. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
on | Spelling
about or of, perhaps, but not on. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
which | Spelling
extraneous | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. The bride could be heard crying during the wedding as though she had already sensed her sorry fate, while the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, looked around with confidence and a sneer. Actually, he believed he was superior to all creatures on God’s green Earth.
When the wedding feast was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house full of apple and cherry trees. To seek attention in the dull atmosphere, Engelhart moved away from the crowd and walked to and fro deep in the garden imitating the walking style of adults. But then something happened which he couldn’t have imagined. His youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him silently with her dark eyes twinkling. After a while Engelhart asked for her name, which he had heard a few times already but had not understood. Her name was Esmeralda, named after the wife of uncle Michael of Vienna and she was called Esmee. Knowing this again aroused tingling jealousy in Engelhart and he began speaking boastfully, one lie after another. Finally, he was taken aback by his delusional speech and Esmee who was looking at him with bewilderment, ran away laughing scornfully.
At this moment, his parents decided to send him to a preparatory class conducted by an old teacher named Herschkamm, even though Engelhart had one year of compulsory school still left. Mr. Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s talent and had great expectations from his future, could not wait to see him enter the real world and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own youth, full of hardships and unfulfilled desires. Even in the initial years of his marriage, he loved meaty discussions and good books, and was enraptured by everything that was intellectually denied to him and that external circumstances deprived him of. | Entry #19766 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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in the dull atmosphere | Mistranslations
vague desire/urge | nchomeldoe No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 adults | Omission
Definite article omitted: 'of the adults'. | Clive Phillips | |
which he couldn’t have imagined | Mistranslations | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
understood | Syntax
poor term selection -- a name is not generally said to be "understood" ("heard" generally covers that meaning) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
named | Grammar errors
"Her name" is the subject of the sentence which the structure indicates this participle modifies. Her name was not named; she was. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Vienna and | Punctuation
there should be a commma between these two, paired with the comma after "Esmeralda" | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Knowing this | Syntax
"This knowledge" would have been significantly better. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
one lie after another | Syntax
A lie is not spoken, but told. "Telling" after the comma would have worked. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Esmee who | Punctuation
These two should be separated by a comma (paired with the one after "bewilderment") | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was | Grammar errors
requires past perfect | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
away laughing | Punctuation
These two should be separated by a comma. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Engelhart had one year of compulsory school still left | Mistranslations
one year to go before compulsory schooling would begin | Jane Eggers | |
|
Next day was the wedding. During the wedding ceremony one could hear the bride crying, it seemed as if she had a premonition of her sad fate, whereas the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confidently glanced around him and smiled scornfully. The thing was, he felt as if there was no creature of God on the face of this earth superior to him.
When the wedding feast came to an end, Engelhart was sent with the other children outside. It was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. With the faint urge to attract attention, Engelhart moved away from the crowd and walked up and down deep in the garden imitating one of the adult's gait. In doing so, what was unconsciously playing on his mind, occurred; the youngest cousin followed him, stood next to him and silently glared at him with dark eyes. After a while, Engelhart asked her name, which he had already heard a few times, but didn't actually register in his mind. Her name was Esmeralda, named after uncle Michael's wife in Vienna, people called her Esmee. This fact again aroused tingling jealousy in Engelhart and he started talking boastfully. The spirit of lying came over him, eventually he was powerless in the face of his delirious chatter, and Esmee, who stared at him in bewilderment, ran away laughing mockingly.
At this time, his parents took a decision to send him to a preparatory class conducted by an old teacher by the name of Herschkamm, although it was mandatory for him to attend one more school year. Mr. Ratgeber, who was very proud of Engelhart's talents and had great expectations from his future, was impatient to see him enter the circle of life and drink from the fountain of knowledge. He was reminded of his own youth full of hardship and struggle. Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved conversations rich in content and good books. | Entry #21748 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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, it | Grammar errors
This is a run-on. There needs to be a conjunction here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
glanced | Mistranslations
Confident people don't glance -- they gaze. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
he felt as if there was no creature of God on the face of this earth superior to him | Mistranslations
Distorts a few aspects of the German original. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
one of the adult's gait | Grammar errors
the gait of one of the adults would be more elegant; the apostrophe placement is problematic in any case. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
playing on his mind | Mistranslations
Wrong tense and vocabulary | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
next to | Mistranslations
Does not capture "ihm gegenüber". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
but didn't actually register in his mind | Other
Construction error -- since "he" is the subject of the first part of the relative clause, "he" is also the subject of the second -- but the meaning of the part after "but" requires "name" to be the subject. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, people | Grammar errors
requires a conjunction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
stared | Grammar errors
needs to be past perfect | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 although it was mandatory for him to attend one more school year | Mistranslations
he had one more year before it would be mandatory... | Jane Eggers | |
Even in the early years of his marriage, he loved | Grammar errors
If he is in the early years of his marriage, "even" makes not sense. If he is not, it should be "had loved". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
and good books | Other
Ambiguous. Does this go with "content" (rich in content and good books) or "conversations" (he loved conversations and good books)? Sure, the reader can figure it out with a little effort, but that is effort the translator should spare him. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding took place the other day. Throughout the ceremony you could hear the bride crying, it appeared as though she had foreseen the sad future that awaited her, whilst the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, self-assuredly and scornfully surveyed his surroundings. The thing was that there wasn’t a single being on God’s Green Earth to which he did not feel superior.
Once the wedding meal had finished, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. There was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In order to set himself apart from the mindless flock, Engelhart broke away from the group and paced, in a style he had learned from watching the adults, up and down in the middle of the garden. Then, the thing he had unconsciously been expecting to happen, happened; his youngest cousin followed him, stood in front of him and silently glared at him with her dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her for her name, which he had already heard a few times but had never really taken on board. She was called Esmeralda, after Uncle Michael in Vienna’s wife, but she went by Esmee. This fact awakened a prickling feeling of jealousy in Engelhart and he began making boastful claims. A deceitful spirit possessed him and by the end he was powerless against his delusional ramblings and Esmee, who had stood staring at him in astonishment, ran away laughing mockingly.
At that moment his parents made the decision to send him to a preparatory nursery school run by an old teacher by the name of Mr Herschkamm even though he still had another year to go before starting his compulsory education. Mr Ratgeber, who thought highly of Engelhart’s abilities and had high hopes for his future, was impatient to enlist him for life’s journey, to see him drink from the fountain of knowledge. He thought about his own deprivation and strife filled youth. In the first years of his marriage he had still loved good books and conversations that were rich in content and had retained a romanticised respect for everything that he had been intellectually unable to access and which was still withheld from him through no fault of his own. | Entry #20551 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 1.93 | 1.86 (7 ratings) | 2.00 (7 ratings) |
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you could hear | Other
Passive works fine, and use of second-person pronoun does not fit the high register of this text. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling
no reason to capitalize this | Eric Zink | |
mindless flock | Mistranslations
Misunderstanding of source text. This is about a subconscious urge on Engelhart's part. | AnYulan Trans No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma between subject and verb | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
her | Other
Unnecessary and disrupts text flow ("for" could go, too). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 taken on board | Other
Unclear -- use a more precise term such as "register". | Eric Zink | |
in Vienna’s wife | Grammar errors
Vienna's wife?? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
At that moment | Mistranslations
Around this time | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 nursery | Mistranslations
What indications are there that this was a nursery school? Not much drinking from the fount of knowledge there (or preparation, either). | Eric Zink | |
enlist him for life’s journey | Inconsistencies
mixed metaphors: enlist in an enterprise, embark on a journey | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
deprivation and strife filled | Punctuation
It must be strife-filled (hyphenated), so it would "deprivation- and strife-filled", but that is an unusual construction for English, so it would be best to use a construction that does not have this as attributive adjectives modifying "youth". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on another day. You could hear the bride crying during the ceremony almost as if she knew what was awaiting her. The groom however, Mr. Peter Salomon Curious, with an inkling of self-confidence smiled mockingly as he looked around. It's like this; he considers everything in all of god's creation to be inferior to him.
Once the wedding banquet was over, Engelhart was sent out with the other children. It was a nice garden behind the house, full of apple trees and cherry trees. To stand out a little amongst this gloomy mob Engelhart went off on his own, and walked back and forth at the bottom of the garden with a grown-up gait. Something he did not think could happen did; his youngest cousin followed him, stood across from him and stared him out with her dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked her name, although he had heard it several time but had not really grasped it. She was called Esmeralda, named after the wife of their Uncle Michael form Vienna, everyone called her Esmee. This again inflamed Engelhart's titillating jealousy and he started bragging ostentatiously. His lying disposition took-over and finally his delusional talk got the better of him and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away laughing mockingly.
At around the same time, even though it was a year before he had to go to school his parents decided he would go to a preparatory class, led by an old teacher called Herschkamm. Mr. Ratgeber, who considered Engelhart to be quite talented and expected a lot of him in the future, was impatient to let him into the circle of life and to eat from the tree of knowledge. He thought of his own derivated and troublesome youth. In the first years of married life he enjoyed deep discussions and good books and maintained an avid respect for everything that he could not have spiritually and was prevented from having due to circumstances that he had no control over. | Entry #16403 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 1.83 | 1.83 (6 ratings) | 1.83 (6 ratings) |
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got the better of him and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away laughing mockingly. | Flows well | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
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an inkling of | Mistranslations
Not in the ST. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 It's like this; he considers everything in all of god's creation to be inferior to him. | Inconsistencies
Wrong tense | philgoddard | |
It's like this | Other
tense + inappropriate word choice | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
god's | Spelling
should be capitalized | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 It was a nice garden behind the house, | Mistranslations
There was | Dorothy Schaps | |
To stand out a little amongst this gloomy mob | Mistranslations
Driven by a vague impulse | Hilary Davies Shelby No agrees/disagrees | |
at the bottom | Mistranslations
in the heart / in the depths | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 Something he did not think could happen | Mistranslations
He was hoping this would happen | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
+1 even though it was a year before he had to go to school | Punctuation
school, | Dorothy Schaps | |
he could not have spiritually | Mistranslations
was intellectually beyond his grasp | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. The bride could be heard weeping during the ceremony, it seemed as if she had anticipated her mournful fate; as the groom, Mr Peter Salomon Curius, glanced around self-assuredly, smiling sardonically. So was the case, he perceived himself to superior to every entity on the God-created Earth.
After the wedding feast, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. The garden at the back of the house was quaint, filled with apple and cherry trees. To free himself from the banality, Engelhart isolated himself from the company, and paced, with a gait assimilated from an adult, back and forth in the depth of the garden. A thought drifted unwittingly into his consciousness, and it happened; the youngest cousin followed him and stood before him, silently she glared at him with her brown eyes. A little while later, Engelhart asked for her name, which he had most likely heard for a few times, but not yet recognised. Her name was Esmeralda, named after the wife of the Uncle Michael in Vienna, affectionately called Esmee. The circumstances rekindled Engelhart’s prickling jealousy, and he began to ostentatiously monologise. He was overcome by the compulsion to lie and was in the end powerless against his own delusional ramblings. Esmee, who gazed at him with astonishment, walked away sneeringly.
Around this time, even though Engelhart was one year away from obligatory education, his parents arrived at the conclusion to enrol him on a preparatory class, which was conducted by Mr Herrschkamm, an old tutor. Mr Ratgeber, who esteemed Engelhart’s aptitude and harboured high hopes for his future, awaited eagerly to witness Engelhart’s coming of age, and his partaking in the fount of knowledge. He pondered upon his own deprived, laborious adolescence. Still in the first few years of his matrimony, he cherished meaningful conversations and fine books. Likewise, he was fervently mindful of the things that were intellectually mundane, as well as those which, through external circumstances, still eluded him. | Entry #15902 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 1.69 | 1.50 (8 ratings) | 1.88 (8 ratings) |
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it seemed | Grammar errors
Drop these two words to avoid a run-on sentence. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
; | Punctuation
The structure following a semicolon must be that of a complete sentence. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
So was the case | Syntax
Makes no sense, and certainly does not approximate the German. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
entity | Other
what's wrong with "creature"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
God-created | Other
not idiomatic | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
To free himself from the banality | Mistranslations
In a vague desire to stand out. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
isolated | Mistranslations
He obviously did not isolate himself from the company, since one of them soon joined him; "separated" would be better. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
assimilated | Mistranslations
Wrong vocab -- something like "copied" would work. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
drifted unwittingly | Mistranslations
thoughts have wits? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
consciousness | Mistranslations
No, the point is that it had remained subconscious. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
happened | Syntax
What does it mean for a thought to happen? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
silently she glared | Grammar errors
broken construction; "silently glaring" would have worked. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
recognised | Mistranslations
registered | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
named | Grammar errors
"Her name", as the subject of the sentence, is modified by this participle. Clearly, her name is not named; she is. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
gazed | Grammar errors
needs to be in past perfect | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
walked | Mistranslations
The context (a little girl laughing at a boy) strongly indicates running, not walking. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
sneeringly | Omission
"lachend" is neglected in this translation | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was one year | Omission
Adding "still" between "was" and "one" would greatly improve the ease with which this text can be read. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
on | Grammar errors
in | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
awaited eagerly to | Grammar errors
"Await" is transitive (it does not take a "to"). | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
coming of age | Mistranslations
"In den Kreis des Lebens eintreten" is tricky to translate, but this doesn't cut it. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
upon | Grammar errors
You ponder something; you don't ponder upon it. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
matrimony | Mistranslations
marriage | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was fervently mindful of | Mistranslations
maintained an enthusiastic respect for | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
mundane | Mistranslations
Where did that come from? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
The wedding was on the next day. During the wedding ceremony you could hear the weeping of the bride. It seemed like as if she was aware of her sad destiny, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, was smiling confidently, scornfully looking around. The thing was there was no creature on God's earth he didn't feel more superior about.
When the wedding was over, Engelhart was sent outside with the other children. It was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. To attract attention in the dull drive, Engelhart secretly separated from the society and went back and forth, in the style of a grown-up, in the garden. What had hovered him unconsciously then happened; the youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and flashed him silently with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked for her name. He must have heard it a few times but never really understood it. Her name was Esmeralda, named after the wife of his uncle Michael in Vienna, and everyone called her Esmee. This circumstance aroused Engelhart's tingling jealousy anew and he began to speak boastfully. The spirit of lying came upon him and finally he was powerless towards his delusional talk. Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away, laughing at him mockingly.
Around this time, his parents decided, although he had one year left for dutiful school attendance, to send him to a preparatory class. This class was instructed by an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. counselor who was highly impressed of Engelhart's aptitudes and entertained great expectations for his future, was impatient to see him entering into the circle of life, drinking from the fountain of knowledge. He thought of his own depreviated and troublesome youth. Even in the early years of his marriage he loved deep conversations and good books and maintained a fanatical respect for all that was hidden and withheld from him by external circumstances. | Entry #15886 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 1.58 | 1.33 (6 ratings) | 1.83 (6 ratings) |
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you could hear | Other
Passive works fine, and second-person pronouns in this context are not of a high enough register to be acceptable in this text. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other
bride weeping means the same thing and flows better | Eric Zink | |
like | Grammar errors
omit | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was smiling | Syntax
continuous in conjunction with "while" raises ambiguities | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
was there | Omission
This contruction needs a "that" between these two words. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
more superior | Grammar errors
should be positive, not comparative | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
about | Grammar errors
to | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
wedding | Mistranslations
It was the meal/banquet/breakfast (in UK English) after the wedding. | Sarah Lewis-Morgan No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
What is a "drive" in this context? | Eric Zink | |
secretly | Mistranslations
Nothing indicates that his actions were secret. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
society | Mistranslations
wedding guests | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
went | Mistranslations
strode or paced | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 in the style of a grown-up | Mistranslations
Does not convey the content that the gait of a specific group was mimicked. | Eric Zink | |
the garden | Omission
What happened to "Tiefe"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
flashed | Mistranslations
You can flash someone in English, but you don't use your eyes to do it. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
understood | Mistranslations
incorrect term | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Other
Use the pronoun "it" to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
named | Grammar errors
This participle modifies the subject of the sentence, "her name". Clearly, her name was not named. She was. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
towards | Grammar errors
powerless plus to infinitive works, but powerless toward does not | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
at him | Other
unnecessary and disrupts flow | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 for dutiful school attendance | Mistranslations
What does this mean? | Eric Zink | |
class. This class | Other
The quick repetition could (and should) be avoided with a relative clause. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 counselor | Other
No need to translate the name. | Jane Eggers | |
entering | Grammar errors
infinitive (focusing on the entirety of the action) is more natural in this context | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 depreviated | Mistranslations
this word does not exist | Eric Zink | |
troublesome | Mistranslations
'troubled' rather than 'troublesome'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
all that was hidden | Omission
What happened to "geistig"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
|
There was a marriage the other day.
During the ceremony, one could hear the bride sobbing, making it seem like she sensed her sad fate ahead of time, while the bridegroom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confidently looked around, a sarcastic smile on his lips.
The thing was, that in his mind there was no creature on God's green earth that he had forgotten to consider.
As the marriage ceremony came to an end, Engelhart with other children were sent outside to play.
It was a pretty garden full of apple and cherry trees behind the house.
To appear assured in the clumsy atmosphere, Engelhart broke off from the group and stepped this way and that, in a sort-of imitated grown-up way.
What happened next he could only have dimly foreseen; unknown to him his youngest cousin had followed him and now she stood right there, silently looking at him with her dark eyes.
After a while, Engelhart asked her her name which he had a heard a number of times, but had not been paying enough attention to remember.
She was named Esmeralda after the wife of Uncle Michael from Vienna, and they called her Esmee.
In this situation, out of nowhere, a sudden jealousy arose in Englelhart and he began rattling on in a self-aggrandizing way.
He then commenced making wild, preposterous statements and finally stood there, looking foolish, while Esmee, who had been staring at him all the while, ran away, laughing mockingly.
About this time in his life, Engelhart's parents decided to send him to a preparatory school, although he had a year of attendance left at his present school. This new school was led by an older teacher named Mr. Herschkamm.
This elderly learned adviser professed great things for Engelhart's talents and great expectations for his future; he was impatient for him to enter the "Circle of Life" and to drink from the "Fountain of Knowledge."
He surely thought back on his own dispensable and tiresome youth.
In the first years of the teacher's marriage, he had loved deep conversations and good books and had harbored a wonder-struck respect for everything he deemed noble, which, denying him inspiration, had been withheld from him through outside circumstances. | Entry #16142 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
billcorno (X)Sjedinjene Američke Države | Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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| Entry | 1.43 | 1.43 (7 ratings) | 1.43 (7 ratings) |
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| Mistranslations
We are talking about a wedding that has obviously been previously announced in the text, not some random wedding. The definite article is needed here (without "there was"). | Eric Zink | |
marriage | Mistranslations
The marriage is everything that happens between the wedding and divorce or death. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
one could hear | Other
Why not passive? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
commas before dass clauses, but not that clauses | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in his mind | Mistranslations
serves absolutely no function -- is in fact redundant | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
What in the world is a clumsy atmosphere? | Eric Zink | |
| Mistranslations
"Step" indicates the act of taking single steps; "strode" would be more appropriate here. | Eric Zink | |
sort-of | Mistranslations
No idea where this came from. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
imitated grown-up way | Mistranslations
But it was mimicking a specific grown-up, a meaning which the translation does not capture. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
he could only have dimly foreseen | Mistranslations
no, he foresaw it subconsciously (or unconsciously) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations
No indication that he didn't know about it. | Eric Zink | |
looking | Mistranslations
Does not capture the emotional content of "anblitzen". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
her | Other
Only one "her" necessary; the second disrupts the flow. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
which | Punctuation
defining relative clause must be set of by commas | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
they | Other
Who is "they"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
a sudden jealousy arose in Englelhart | Omission
What happened to "von neuem"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
staring at him all the while | Omission
What happened to "verwundert"? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
in his life | Other
Not in original and adds nothing | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
school | Mistranslations
not a school, a class or course | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 although he had a year of attendance left at his present school | Mistranslations
although he had a year to go before he would be required to attend school | Jane Eggers | |
school | Mistranslations
Again, not a school, but a class or course | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 This elderly learned adviser | Mistranslations
Mr. Ratgeber is the character's name. | Ramey Rieger (X) | |
professed great things | Mistranslations
Original says nothing about him expressing his admiration for Engelhart's talents. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
"Circle of Life" and to drink from the "Fountain of Knowledge." | Punctuation
There is little in the original that justifies the use of quotation marks. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
surely | Mistranslations
Where did this come from? | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
deemed noble | Mistranslations
Not sure where this came from. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 denying him inspiration | Mistranslations
I assume this is an attempt at "geistig versagt", but it doesn't succeed. | Eric Zink | |
|
The next day was the wedding. During the wedding ceremony the bride cry was heard, it seemed to have a suspicion ahead of her sad fate, while the groom, Mr. Peter Salomon Curius, confident and smiling scornfully looked around. The thing was that there was no creature on God's earth, he would not have felt superior.
When the wedding was over, Engelhart was sent with the other children outside. It was a lovely garden behind the house, full of apple and cherry trees. In the dull drive to attract attention to Engelhart secreted by the Company, and walked in a gait in adults abgelauschten the bottom of the garden back and forth. What had hovered him unconscious process of happening; the youngest cousin followed him, turned towards him and flashed him silently with dark eyes. After a while Engelhart asked for their name, he must have heard a few times but had not really understood. Her name was Esmeralda, after the wife of his uncle Michael in Vienna, and she was called Esmee. This circumstance aroused anew Engelharts tingling jealousy, and he began to lead boastful speeches. The lying spirit came upon him, and finally he got his delusional full talk powerless over, and Esmee, who had been staring at him in astonishment, ran away laughing mockingly.
Around this time, his parents conceived the decision to him, although he had to dutiful school another year to send in a preparatory class, who led an old teacher named Herschkamm. Mr. counselor who highly of Engelharts held talent and great expectations entertained of his future, was impatient to enter him into the circle of life, drink from the fountain of knowledge to see. He thought of his own entbehrungs and troublesome youth. Even in the early years of his marriage he loved meaty conversations and good books and maintained a fanatical respect for all that remained mentally denied and withheld by external circumstances to him. | Entry #17636 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
| Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
|---|
| Entry | 1.14 | 1.08 (12 ratings) | 1.20 (10 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 32 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (26 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
-1 1 The next day was the wedding. | Other
This is clearly a machine translation. | Clive Phillips | |
+1 the bride cry was heard | Mistranslations
the bride was heard crying | Eric Zink | |
, | Grammar errors
requires a conjunction to avoid being a run-on | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
confident and smiling scornfully looked around | Grammar errors
Both "confident" and "smiling scornfully" should modify "looked around", not "the groom". | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma before a defining relative clause. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 he would not have felt superior | Grammar errors
he would not have felt superior to | Rachel Hutcheson | |
+3 2 What had hovered him unconscious process of happening | Grammar errors
nonsensical | Rachel Hutcheson | |
he | Omission
missing a relative pronoun (which) | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
understood | Mistranslations
Names are not usually understood, but heard. "Registered" would work well here. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
Her name | Spelling
Since there is not question what noun is being referred to, a pronoun (It) would work nicely here to avoid repetition. | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 his delusional full talk powerless over | Other
no idea what this is supposed to mean | Eric Zink | |
+2 he had to dutiful school another year | Mistranslations
What does this mean? | Eric Zink | |
who | Grammar errors
which | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
led | Grammar errors
passive! | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 Mr. counselor who highly of Engelharts held talent and great expectations entertained of his future, | Mistranslations
Nonsensical! | Hilary Davies Shelby | |
great expectations entertained | Grammar errors
Subject, verb, then object | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
to enter him | Mistranslations
for him to enter | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation
no comma, but does need a conjunction | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
to see | Syntax
no idea what this is doing here | Eric Zink No agrees/disagrees | |
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