Competition in this pair is now closed, and the winning entries have been announced. Discussion and feedback about the competition in this language pair may now be provided by visiting the "Discussion & feedback" page for this pair. Entries may also be individually discussed by clicking the "Discuss" link next to any listed entry. Source text in French Au jour fixé, l'appartement du comte Ulric de Rouvres était préparé. Ulric y donna rendez-vous pour le soir même à trois des plus célèbres médecins de Paris. Puis il courut chercher Rosette.
Elle venait de mourir depuis une heure. Ulric revint à son nouveau logement, où il trouva son ancien ami Tristan, qu'il avait fait appeler, et qui l'attendait avec les trois médecins.
—Vous pouvez vous retirer, messieurs, dit Ulric à ceux-ci. La personne pour laquelle je désirais vous consulter n'existe plus.
Tristan, resté seul avec le comte Ulric, n'essaya pas de calmer sa douleur, mais il s'y associa fraternellement. Ce fut lui qui dirigea les splendides obsèques qu'on fit à Rosette, au grand étonnement de tout l'hôpital. Il racheta les objets que la jeune fille avait emportés avec elle, et qui, après sa mort, étaient devenus la propriété de l'administration. Parmi ces objets se trouvait la petite robe bleue, la seule qui restât à la pauvre défunte. Par ses soins aussi, l'ancien mobilier d'Ulric, quand il demeurait avec Rosette, fut transporté dans une pièce de son nouvel appartement.
Ce fut peu de jours après qu'Ulric, décidé à mourir, partait pour l'Angleterre.
Tels étaient les antécédents de ce personnage au moment où il entrait dans les salons du café de Foy.
L'arrivée d'Ulric causa un grand mouvement dans l'assemblée. Les hommes se levèrent et lui adressèrent le salut courtois des gens du monde. Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la batterie de leurs regards, curieux jusqu'à l'indiscrétion.
—Allons, mon cher trépassé, dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny, signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants. Madame, ajouta Tristan en désignant Fanny, immobile sous son masque, madame vous fera raison. Et vous, dit-il tout bas à l'oreille de la jeune femme, n'oubliez pas ce que je vous ai recommandé.
Ulric prit un grand verre rempli jusqu'au bord et s'écria:
—Je bois....
—N'oubliez pas que les toasts politiques sont interdits, lui cria Tristan.
—Je bois à la Mort, dit Ulric en portant le verre à ses lèvres, après avoir salué sa voisine masquée.
—Et moi, répondit Fanny en buvant à son tour... je bois à la jeunesse, à l'amour. Et comme un éclair qui déchire un nuage, un sourire de flamme s'alluma sous son masque de velours. | The winning entries have been announced in this pair.There were 83 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 6 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. The winning entries were determined based on finals round voting by peers.
Competition in this pair is now closed. | The day had arrived, and Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. Ulric had asked three of Paris’ most renowned doctors to visit that evening. He then set off in haste to fetch Rosette. She had died just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new dwelling to find his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, waiting for him with the three doctors. ‘You may go, sirs,’ Ulric said to the doctors. ‘The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us.’ Tristan, who was now alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his suffering, but instead shared in it with him, like a brother. It was he who arranged the lavish funeral for Rosette, much to the whole hospital’s astonishment. He bought back the belongings that Rosette had brought with her, and which, upon her death had become the hospital’s property. Among her effects was a little blue dress, the only one that the poor dead girl still possessed. Tristan had also arranged for furniture belonging to Ulrich when he had lived with Rosette to be moved to a room in Ulric’s new apartment. A few days later, Ulric left for England, where he planned to kill himself. Such were the events that preceded Ulric’s appearance at the café de Foy. His entrance caused a great stir among those present. The men stood up and made their polite addresses appropriate to distinguished society. The women, on the other hand, brazenly fixed their eyes on the Count for a full five minutes, leaving him almost embarrassed by their curiosity, which verged on indiscretion. ‘Come, my dear departed one,’ said Tristan, showing him to the seat reserved for him beside Fanny. ‘Give us a toast to celebrate your return to the world of the living.’ ‘And Madame,’ said Tristan, indicating Fanny, who was motionless behind her mask, ‘Madame will make a toast in return.’ ‘Madame,’ he whispered in the young woman’s ear, ‘don’t forget what I told you’. Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed: ‘I drink…’ ‘Don’t forget, no political toasts allowed!’ Shouted Tristan. ‘I drink to Death,’ said Ulric, raising the glass to his mouth, having acknowledged his masked neighbour. ‘And I,’ replied Fanny, taking her turn to drink, ‘I drink to youth and love.’ And like a lightning bolt breaking through clouds, a dazzling smile flashed beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #20728 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
Winner Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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30 | 5 x4 | 4 x2 | 2 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.22 | 3.31 (16 ratings) | 3.13 (16 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 12 "like" tags
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erson about whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us.’ | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 Such were the events that preceded Ulric’s appearance | Flows well | Emma Paulay | |
café de Foy | Good term selection omission of "les salons" works really well in EN | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 brazenly fixed their eyes on the Count for a full five minutes, leaving him almost embarrassed by their curiosity, which verged on indiscretion. | Flows well | KMPrice | |
-1 +1 1 my dear departed one | Flows well At last, a noun to go with the adjectives dear and departed! | Marian Vieyra | |
exclaimed | Good term selection | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 like a lightning bolt breaking through clouds, a dazzling smile flashed beneath her velvet mask | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
- 11 users entered 31 "dislike" tags
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The day had arrived | Other Could do better | Obia Ranndy No agrees/disagrees | |
had asked | Mistranslations received/welcome . ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous pour le soir même à trois des plus célèbres médecins de Paris. Puis il courut chercher Rosette. Ulrich first receives the (3) three doctors ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous... leaves them in his new apartment, ... Puis il courut chercher Rosette... so that | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = ...an hour or so...about an hour earlier...past the hour . | axies | |
-1 with the three doctors. | Spelling Better English: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
person about whom I wished to consult you | Other correct, but sounds awkward | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other Tristan, now alone with | KMPrice | |
shared in it with him | Mistranslations sounds odd: just...shared with him... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling directed; organised the funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
-1 1 hospital’s astonishment. | Omission ...hospital’s staff astonishment. | axies | |
-1 +4 1 possessed | Other If she is dead, she cannot possess a dress | Jane Golding | |
r f | Omission former; older furniture. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+6 1 he planned to kill himself | Mistranslations décidé à mourir does not indicate suicide | Clive Phillips | |
| Syntax the (but I don't like the sentence as a whole - clumsy) | KMPrice | |
+2 their polite addresses appropriate to distinguished society | Other doesn't flow. …obeisances as befitted polite society, or something to that effect, could work better | Carol Gullidge | |
showing | Mistranslations ...obliging/ forcing him to seat... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 I drink to Death | Mistranslations ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies | |
youth | Other youthfulness; to the young/youthfulness and to love. youthfulness ''je bois à la jeunesse...'' | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
br | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. After arranging to meet three of the most eminent doctors in Paris there that evening, Ulric rushed off to see Rosette. But she had died an hour earlier. Ulric went back to his new quarters, where he found his old friend Tristan (he had sent for him earlier), waiting for him with the three doctors. “You can go, gentlemen,” said Ulric to the doctors. “The person I wanted to consult you about is no more.” Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not try to ease his pain, but shared his sorrow like a brother. It was he who arranged the grand funeral they gave Rosette, to the astonishment of the entire hospital. He purchased the things the girl had brought with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the authorities. Among them was a little blue dress, the only one the poor dead girl had left. He also arranged for Ulric’s furniture from when he was living with Rosette to be moved to a room in his new apartment. Just a few days later, Ulric, having decided he was going to die, left for England. This was the history of this illustrious person at the time he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir among the assembled company. The men rose to their feet and greeted him with well-bred courtesy. But the eyes of the women, inquisitive to the point of impropriety, were fixed brazenly on the Comte de Rouvres for fully five minutes, leaving him almost disconcerted by the onslaught of their stares. “Come now, my late lamented friend,” said Tristan, leading Ulric to the seat that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “raise your glass to let them know you’re back in the land of the living.” “Madame,” he added, looking at Fanny, who was motionless under her mask, “Madame will drink to that too.” “And you,” he said softly into the young woman’s ear, “remember what I told you.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried: “I drink, …” “Remember now, Ulric - political toasts are banned,” cried Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips, after bowing to his masked neighbour. “And I,” replied Fanny, drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, and to love.” And like a bolt of lightning cutting through a cloud, a blazing smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21295 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
Winner Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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30 | 7 x4 | 0 | 2 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.15 | 3.24 (17 ratings) | 3.06 (16 ratings) |
- 6 users entered 12 "like" tags
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-1 +1 1 After arranging to meet three of the most eminent doctors in Paris there that evening, Ulric rushed off to see Rosette. | Flows well | Yvonne Gallagher | |
arranged | Flows well arranged or organised are nice | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
great stir among the assembled company | Flows well | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
rose to their feet | Flows well flows better than "stood up" | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +5 3 But the eyes of the women, inquisitive to the point of impropriety, were fixed brazenly on the Comte de Rouvres for fully five minutes | Flows well | philgoddard | |
land of the living | Flows well more idiomatic in English than "world of the living" | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
ike a bolt of lightning cutting through a cloud, a blazing smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Flows well | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 31 "dislike" tags
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After arranging to meet three of the most eminent doctors in Paris there that evening, Ulric rushed off to see Rosette. | Syntax The new syntax slightly changes the sense of the sentence. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 an hour | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = ...an hour or so...about an hour earlier...past the hour . | axies | |
-1 1 with the three doctors | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
You can go | Mistranslations too banal: '' you may...'' | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors definite article here-the-important as not any dress, but The dress | Josephine Cassar | |
-2 2 arranged | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
-1 +1 1 e f | Punctuation comma | axies | |
history | Inconsistencies history doesn't sound quite right here | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
But the eyes of the women | Mistranslations This is a transcription not a translation. Two English sentences 1- As for the ladies/women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
lament | Mistranslations I would accept '' my late friend'' or better still ‘’Come, my lost friend...’’ | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
leading | Mistranslations the verb is obliging... forcing to... but more importantly still is: (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the si | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
under | Mistranslations beneath. Under (or behind) her mask suggests the mask is on top of her or covering her whole face, which would make drinking a toast impossible. So the mask must leave the lips uncovered, allowing the smile to be seen | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
-4 +1 3 will drink to that too | Mistranslations faire raison-will drink as much as you | Josephine Cassar | |
cried | Other ''shouted'' ''announced'' is more to the point. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Mistranslations ibid; ''shouted'' ''announced'' is more to the point. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 Death | Mistranslations’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demisedLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
bowing | Mistranslations Aknowledged her; saluted her; maybe bowed to her; raised his hand and or blew her a kiss! we are not told how he saluted her. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
neighbou | Mistranslations companion, I would say. (plus noble) | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 youth | Grammar errors ...youthfulness | axies | |
blazing | Inconsistencies I hope not (reminds me of Blazing Saddles, guns blazing, etc! Radiant, perhaps | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
| The apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready on the appointed day. Ulric had arranged for three of the most famous physicians in Paris to meet there that very night. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, was waiting for him with the three doctors. "Gentlemen, you may take your leave," Ulric told them. “The person on whose behalf I wished to consult you no longer exists.” Remaining with Count Ulric, Tristan did not attempt to ease the man’s grief, but offered brotherly support. He arranged Rosette’s funeral, a grand affair to the amazement of the entire hospital. He purchased the possessions that the girl had brought with her and which had become the property of the administration after her death. Among them was the poor girl's only remaining article of clothing, the little blue dress. Tristan also had a piece of Ulric's furniture, from when he was living with Rosette, transported to a room in his new apartment. A few days later, Ulric left for England, determined to die. Such was the history of this personage when he entered the premises of the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a considerable stir among the assembled guests. The gentlemen rose and offered him the courteous greeting of men of the world. The ladies, curious to the point of indiscretion, stared unabashedly for five minutes at Count Rouvres, who was nearly embarrassed under the battery of their gaze. "Come on, you old corpse," said Tristan, seating Ulric in the place reserved for him beside Fanny, "why not toast your return to the land of the living? Madame will give you cause," added Tristan, indicating Fanny, motionless behind her mask. Then he whispered in the young woman's ear, "Don’t forget what I suggested." Ulric raised a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed, "I drink to.... "No political toasts!" shouted Tristan. "I drink to Death," said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips after tipping it to the masked lady at his side. "And I," replied Fanny, sipping in turn, “drink to youth and love." And like lightning rending a cloud, a fiery smile flashed under her velvet mask. | Entry #19492 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Finalist Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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22 | 5 x4 | 1 x2 | 0 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.17 | 3.28 (18 ratings) | 3.06 (18 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 10 "like" tags
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+3 you may take your leave | Good term selection appropriate for the era of the ST | rebeccacomley | |
-1 +3 2 offered brotherly support | Flows well very neat solution | rebeccacomley | |
-1 a grand affair to the amazement of the entire hospital | Flows well and conveys the right idea that the splendour of the funeral was astonishing, not that Tristan had organised it | rebeccacomley | |
a grand affair | Flows well I like 'a grand affair' | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +2 2 the poor girl's only remaining article of clothing, the little blue dress | Flows well Good solution | magsyl | |
A few days later, Ulric left for England, determined to die | Flows well words at end of sentence striking | cpatmoulton No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 Come on, you old corpse | Flows well Good solution - wish I'd thought of it! | magsyl | |
land of the living | Flows well prefer this to "world of the living" - more idiomatic | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
- 8 users entered 31 "dislike" tags
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-3 2 arranged for | Mistranslations received/welcome . ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous pour le soir même à trois des plus célèbres médecins de Paris. Puis il courut chercher Rosette. Ulrich first receives the (3) three doctors ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous... leaves them in his new apartment, ... Puis il courut chercher Rosette... so that | axies | |
| Mistranslations ..depuis une heure...not so precise. But...an hour or so...about an hour ago... | axies | |
with the three doctors. | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
he person on whose behalf I wished to consult you | Other sounds clumsy | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
on whose behalf | Mistranslations ST doesn't infer that she asked him to do anything on her behalf | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations she might be dead, but she hasn't vanished into thin air | Carol Gullidge | |
| Omission I would prefer a translation closer to the ST 'It was he who' | rebeccacomley | |
-1 +3 2 He arranged Rosette’s funeral, a grand affair to the amazement of the entire hospit | Mistranslations It is the fact that Tristan was the one to arrange the funeral which surprised the hospital staff, not the fact that it was a grand affair. | Odette Grille (X) | |
| Mistranslations bought back, or repurchased | KMPrice | |
Among them | Mistranslations these items/objects. ‘’Among them/these’’, it loses the emphasis on the fact that these are few and small items. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations it refers to dresses alone | axies | |
-2 1 ristan also had a piece of Ulric's furniture | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
+7 a piece of Ulric's furniture | Mistranslations all Ulric's furniture, not just one piece | rebeccacomley | |
history | Spelling "history" of a person doesn't work for the background or events leading up to this point | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 of men of the world | Mistranslations too literal. It refers to fashionable ways/ greetings. I would say: ...as (only) men of the world do. or courteously addressed him as the norm/as etiquette demanded/good manners demanded, as required in society | axies | |
-1 The ladies, curious to the point of indiscretion, stared unabashedly for five minutes at Count Rouvres | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the ladies/women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies | |
-1 1 unabashedly | Other Does this word exist? I do hope not! | Carol Gullidge | |
five | Mistranslations for a full... Also: Two English sentences 1- As for the ladies/women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Inconsistencies "nearly embarrassed"? Somewhat or rather or quite, perhaps? | Carol Gullidge | |
-1 " said Tristan, seating Ulric in the place reserved for him beside Fanny, "why not to | Mistranslations (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies | |
+3 1 No | Omission the idea of toasts being 'interdits' forbidden should be included here | rebeccacomley | |
-1 1 to Death | Other ’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies | |
+8 1 tipping | Mistranslations You tip your hat but not your glass to someone, unless you want to wet them. | Clive Phillips | |
-3 1 youth | Mistranslations youthfulness ''je bois à la jeunesse...'' | axies | |
| Inconsistencies I imagine that the mask covers part of her face but not the lips. What is beneath or below it would be visible to others, but what is under it would be hidden | Carol Gullidge | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was ready. That evening, Ulric invited three of the most celebrated physicians in Paris. He then rushed off to fetch Rosette. The girl had passed away just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new home, where his old friend Tristan, whom he had called for earlier, was waiting for him together with the three physicians. “You can leave gentlemen”, Ulric told them. The person I wanted you to see is no longer with us. Tristan stayed alone with Count Ulric, making no attempt to ease his pain but sharing it like a brother. It was he who orchestrated the splendid funeral service for Rosette, to the great surprise of the entire hospital. He purchased the items that the young girl had taken with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the State. One of these items was a small blue dress, the poor dead girl’s only remaining one. He was also responsible for having Ulric’s old furniture, from when he stayed with Rosette, moved to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, set on dying, left for England. Such was this character’s past as he entered the rooms of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s entry caused quite a stir amongst those gathered. The men rose and greeted him in the courteous manner of people of the world. The women, meanwhile, brazenly left the Count of Rouvres feeling quite ill-at-ease for five minutes under a barrage of stares, their curiosity verging on indiscretion. “Come on, my dear departed”, said Tristan, seating Ulric in his allotted place beside Fanny. “Let’s toast your return to the land of the living.” “Madam here,” added Tristan, gesturing to Fanny, expressionless behind her mask, “Will enlighten you”. “And you”, he whispered in the young woman’s ear, “remember what I suggested”. Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed: “I drink to….. “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden”, Tristan called out to him. “I drink to Death”, said Ulric, putting the glass to his lips after toasting the masked lady beside him. “And I,” responded Fanny, also taking a sip… “drink to youth, to love.” And like a flash of lightning ripping through a cloud, a passionate smile lit up behind her velvet mask. | Entry #21460 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
Finalist Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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20 | 2 x4 | 5 x2 | 2 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.35 | 3.53 (19 ratings) | 3.16 (19 ratings) |
- 7 users entered 12 "like" tags
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- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
-1 +5 1 celebrated physicians | Good term selection suits the writing of the era | rebeccacomley | |
person I wanted you to see | Flows well avoids all those awkward "had had"s, and "consult about"s, etc | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
He was also responsible for having | Flows well | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 It was a few days later that Ulric, set on dying, left for England. | Flows well | Chance31 | |
their curiosity verging on indiscretion | Flows well | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection 'shouted', used by many, is an incorrect literal translation in this context. | Sian Cooper | |
behind | Good term selection 'below' and 'under' don't work as well as 'behind' | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
- 9 users entered 28 "dislike" tags
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+3 1 That evening, Ulric invited | Mistranslations He didn't invite them that evening | KMPrice | |
passed away | Inconsistencies more euphemistic than the ST. As this expression has received several Dislikes in another entry, it would be inconsistent not to give this one the same treatment... | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
an hour | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = ...an hour or so...about an hour earlier...past the hour . | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-4 3 with the three physicians | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
+5 1 leave gentlemen | Punctuation A comma should separate the two words. | Clive Phillips | |
One of | Mistranslations among... of these... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 mov | Omission ...to be moved...; to be transported...; | axies | |
+1 Such was this character’s past | Inconsistencies sounds a little odd, calling this background info his "past" | Carol Gullidge | |
-1 1 the rooms | Other for the sake of consistency (in keeping with a similar Dislike posted on another entry): "… too prosaic..." | Carol Gullidge | |
The women, meanwhile, brazenly left the Count of Rouvres feeling q | Other transcription is not translation. Two English sentences 1- As for the ladies/women, they shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +2 2 my dear departed | Omission dear departed one/friend - a noun is needed | Marian Vieyra | |
Madam | Spelling prefer "madame", as "madam" has negative connotations in EN | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 enlighten | Mistranslations 'respond in kind/reciprocate/respond in like fashion'. | Clive Phillips | |
-2 2 to Death” | Mistranslations ''...to the''. ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies | |
+1 toasting the masked lady beside him. | Mistranslations ...acknowledging...; ( it reads wrongly and is very ambiguous) | axies | |
drink to youth | Grammar errors needs to repeat sub.pron. I drink... to youthfulness = Je bois à la jeunesse. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
behind | Mistranslations if it were behind (not in the text), then it would remain hidden. The mask obviously leaves the mouth clear (to eat and drink - this is a banquet, after all!) and the smile would be visible beneath the mask (not behind or under) | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready and that same evening he asked three of the best-known doctors in Paris to meet him there. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just passed away, only an hour before. On returning to his new apartment, Ulric found his old friend Tristan, who had been called at his request, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen” Ulric told them. “The person I wished to consult you about is no longer with us”. Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not try to ease his suffering but instead he shared in it, just as a brother would. It was he who supervised the magnificent funeral that Rosette was given, much to the surprise of everyone at the hospital. He bought back the items the young woman had brought with her which had become the property of the administration after her death. Amongst these items was the little blue dress, the only one left to the poor deceased. It was also thanks to him that the furniture which had belonged to Ulric when he lived with Rosette was taken to a room of his new apartment. A few days later Ulric left for England, having made up his mind to end his life. Such were the events leading up to this character's arrival at the rooms in the Café de Foy. Ulric’s entrance caused a great stir amongst the assembled company. The men stood up and gave him the polite bow used in society. As for the women, they made no bones about retaining the slightly embarrassed count of Rouvres under their insistent gaze for five minutes, their curiosity bordering on indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed” said Tristan, seating Ulric at the place reserved for him next to Fanny. “Make a toast to show that you are back in the world of the living. Madame will reply to your toast” he added indicating Fanny, motionless beneath her mask. “And you, don’t forget what I told you”, he whispered into the young woman’s ear. Ulric lifted a large glass full to the brim and cried out, “I drink ….” “Don’t forget that political toasts are not allowed!” Tristan shouted to him. “I drink to Death” said Ulric, lifting the glass to his lips after nodding to his masked neighbour. “As for me”, said Fanny taking her turn to drink, “I drink to youth and to love”. A radiant smile flashed beneath her velvet mask, like lightening piercing a cloud. | Entry #15823 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 3.24 | 3.23 (22 ratings) | 3.25 (20 ratings) |
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-1 On the appointed day Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready and that same evening he asked three of the best-known doctors in Paris to meet him there | Flows well Actually, we Brits tend not to favour a series of really short sentences in literature (journalism is a different matter), and would often combine two short sentences in order to render the text less stilted | Carol Gullidge | |
+1 1 who had been called at his request | Flows well I think this works very well and happily avoids clumsinesses such as 'whom' and 'had had' | emma mandley | |
+1 The person I wished to consult you about is no longer with us | Flows well | Carol Gullidge | |
| Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+2 radiant smile flashed beneath her velvet mask, like lightening piercing a cloud. | Flows well | Yvonne Gallagher | |
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-1 +5 3 and that same evening | Other The choice of combining these two sentences into one doesn't add anything and makes for an unnecessarily long sentence. | Laura Nagle (X) | |
that same evening | Syntax He arranged (before that evening) for them to meet him there that evening. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
asked | Mistranslations received/welcome . ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous pour le soir même à trois des plus célèbres médecins de Paris. Puis il courut chercher Rosette. Ulrich first receives the (3) three doctors ...Ulric y donna rendez-vous... leaves them in his new apartment, ... Puis il courut chercher Rosette... so that | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +3 2 passed away | Mistranslations I believe a euphemism ('passer' etc.) should only be used if the ST also uses one. The ST uses 'to die', no euphemism. | Sian Cooper | |
-2 with the three doctors. | Mistranslations ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
+2 just as a brother would | Mistranslations over translation of fraternellement | Carol Gullidge | |
| Punctuation "which" is correct (not "that"), but must be preceded by a comma | Carol Gullidge | |
| Grammar errorsfurniture that had belonged… (hat or which? The traditional definition is that "that" defines and "which" informs (gives extra information), as in: "This is the house that Jack built; but this house, which John built, is falling down." "The Guardian, which I read every day, is the paper that I admi)Link: http://www.theguardian.com/guardian-observer-style-guide-t | Carol Gullidge | |
Rosette | Punctuation Comma (the pair of the one that should have been inserted after "furniture"). | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+7 1 end his life | Mistranslations Suicide is not suggested. | Clive Phillips | |
+2 the polite bow used in society. | Syntax clumsy | KMPrice | |
+5 1 made no bones | Other a stare is something abstract, and this text is inappropriate for a gaze | jrum | |
Madame will reply to your | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 toast” he added indicating | Punctuation | Laura Nagle (X) | |
glass full to the brim | Syntax glass filled to the brim OR glass that was full to the brim | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Other exclaimed; shouted; announced; | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
“I drink to Death” | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demisedLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other youthfulness; to the young/youthfulness and to love. youthfulness ''je bois à la jeunesse...'' | axies | |
+3 1 lightening | Spelling | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| On the set date, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was made ready. Ulric arranged to meet three of the most famous doctors in Paris there that evening. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died just an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he'd had called, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may leave, gentlemen," Ulric told them. "The person for whom I wished to consult with you is no longer with us." Tristan, who had remained alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but shared in it like a brother. It was he who organised the wonderful funeral service for Rosette, much to the amazement of the whole hospital. He repurchased the objects that the young girl had brought with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was her little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. It was also he who arranged for Ulric's old furniture, from when he resided with Rosette, to be transported to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was this individual's past history when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused great commotion amongst the gathering. The men stood and greeted him courteously, like worldly people. As for the women, they stared shamelessly for five minutes at the Count de Rouvres, who was somewhat ill-at-ease under the weight of their stares, which were curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come on, my dearly departed," said Tristan, making Ulric sit in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, "announce your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madam," added Tristan, indicating Fanny, motionless under her mask, "madam will drink with you." "And you," he whispered in the young lady's ear, "do not forget what I advised you." Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed, "I drink..." "Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden," Tristan called to him. "I drink to Death," said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips after having raised it to his masked neighbour. "And I," replied Fanny, drinking in turn, "I drink to youthfulness, and to love." And, like a bolt of lightning that rips through a cloud, a dazzling smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #15722 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.25 | 3.23 (22 ratings) | 3.26 (19 ratings) |
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shared in it like a brother | Flows well | Joshua Lee (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
resided | Good term selection nicer and more gravitas than "lived with", with all the modern connotations | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 As for the women, they stared shamelessly for five minutes at the Count de Rouvres, who was somewhat ill-at-ease under the weight of their stares, which were curious to the point of indiscretion. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
the land of the living | Flows well more idiomatic than "world of the living" | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 youthfulness | Flows well thank you... thank you. | axies | |
and to love. | Flows well thank you. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
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-4 4 arranged | Mistranslations received/welcome | axies | |
famous | Mistranslations Well-known is better than famous, since they are presumably known for their medical prowess | jrum No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 1 there | Other obsolete for this translation/phrase | axies | |
-1 1 that evening. | Omission that ''same'' evening | axies | |
-2 1 with | Other Note:-I would like to see this ''with'' become a mistranslation; used by the majority of peers. I would translate this as: ... in the company of... or even: together with... | axies | |
-1 +3 1 "The person for whom I wished to consult with you is no longer with us." | Other This sentence is rather clunky. | emma mandley | |
o | Punctuation the person, | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
ou | Punctuation ...with you,... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other I prefer bought back, as repurchased is too contemporary for the period in question | jrum | |
| Other sounds odd - past history doesn't sound right when talking about events leading to… or background | Carol Gullidge | |
worldly | Mistranslations worldly = materialistic. I think the intended meaning here is people of the world/society or even breeding | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +4 2 my dearly departed | Spelling my dear departed friend/one. 'Dearly' is an adverb which cannot qualify 'departed'. The latter must be followed by a noun. | Clive Phillips | |
+1 , "announce your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madam," adde | Other failed to see lack of punct. (2 parag.not 1): ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies | |
Madam | Mistranslations I dislike "Madam" (as in "Dear Madam") and would hugely prefer "Madame" | Carol Gullidge No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 will drink with you | Mistranslations not exactly the meaning of faire raison-drink as much as you | Josephine Cassar | |
-3 3 "I drink to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
raised it | Mistranslations saluted her; maybe bowed to her; raised his hand and or blew her a kiss! we are not told how he saluted her. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 lit up | Grammar errors lit up... what (her face)? needs object | Yvonne Gallagher | |
| Non-finalist entries The following entries were not selected by peers to advance to finals-round voting. On the agreed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric invited three of the most famous doctors in Paris to meet him there that same evening. Then he hurried off to see Rosette. She had died just an hour previously. Ulric returned to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You can go now, gentlemen”, Ulric said to the doctors. “The person I wanted to consult you about no longer exists.” Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not try to ease his pain, but rather shared in it with him like a brother. It was he who directed the splendid funeral which was provided for Rosette, much to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back the objects that the young girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the estate. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the only one that the poor deceased girl had left. In addition, he arranged for Ulric’s old furniture from the time he lived with Rosette to be moved into a room in his new apartment. Ulric, who had resolved to die, would leave for England a few days later. Such was the background of this person at the moment he entered Foy’s coffee house. Ulric’s arrival caused quite a stir among the people gathered there. The men got up and greeted him with the courtesy of people in fashionable society. As for the women, they kept staring brazenly at the somewhat embarrassed Count de Rouvres for a full five minutes, with a curiosity which bordered on indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed friend”, said Tristan as he sat Ulric down in the seat which had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “propose a toast to mark your return to the land of the living. This lady”, he added indicating Fanny, who remained motionless behind her mask, “this lady will raise a glass to you”. And he whispered into the young woman’s ear, “Don’t forget my advice to you.” Ulric lifted a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “A toast...” “Don’t forget that political toasts are not allowed”, Tristan called out to him. “I propose a toast to Death”, said Ulric, bringing the glass up to his lips after greeting his masked neighbour. “And I”, answered Fanny drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And, like a lightning bolt ripping through a cloud, a radiant smile suddenly shone behind her velvet mask. | Entry #15784 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 3.06 | 3.17 (18 ratings) | 2.94 (17 ratings) |
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in fashionable society | Good term selection | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 As for the women, they kept staring brazenly at the somewhat embarrassed Count de Rouvres for a full five minutes, with a curiosity which bordered on indiscretion | Flows well This is the best translation I've seen of this sentence. | JanaW (X) | |
which bordered on | Flows well and flows well too | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
dear departed friend | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 And, like a lightning bolt ripping through a cloud, a radiant smile suddenly shone behind her velvet mask. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
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-1 1 with the three doctors | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
| Other may - In the 19th century, people did understand the difference between can and may. | B D Finch | |
+2 1 exists | Other Not really the appropriate word to use in English. | B D Finch | |
| Other A dress is not generally referred to as an "object". | B D Finch | |
-2 1 In addition, he arranged for Ulric’s | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
-2 1 who had resolved | Mistranslations determined to... | axies | |
-2 +1 1 will raise a glass to you | Mistranslations not the translation of 'faire raison' | Josephine Cassar | |
-1 1 Death | Mistranslations ’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies | |
I drink to | Inconsistencies Better to keep it consistent with "toast" or "I propose a toast". | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Grammar errors youthfulness | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| The apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres had been prepared on the appointed day. Ulric arranged for a meeting there that evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he hurried off to get Rosette. She had just died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new apartment, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” Ulric said to them. “The person I wished to consult you about is no more.” Tristan remained alone with Count Ulric. He made no attempt to soothe his grief, but rather shared in it like a brother. He was the one who oversaw the magnificent funeral that was held for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back the things that the young girl had taken with her and that had become the property of the administration after her death. Among these things was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. He also saw to it that Tristan’s old furniture, from when he was living with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. It was not many days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the story of this individual at the time he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir at the gathering. The men stood up and gave him a courtly bow, like worldly people. As for the women, for five minutes they brazenly subjected the almost embarrassed Count de Rouvres to the battery of their stares, which were curious to the point of indiscretion. Seating Ulric at the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, Tristan said, “Come on, my dear departed, mark your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame,” he added, referring to Fanny, who was motionless beneath her mask, “Madame will drink to you. And you,” he said quietly into the ear of the young woman, “do not forget what I have advised you.” Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and cried out, “I drink—” “Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden!” Tristan shouted to him. Ulric bowed to his masked neighbor, then, bringing the glass to his lips, said, “I drink to Death.” “And me,” Fanny replied, drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And, like a flash of lightning ripping open a cloud, a blazing smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21209 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 3.06 | 3.00 (19 ratings) | 3.12 (17 ratings) |
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The apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres had been prepared on the appointed day. | Other Good inverting. | kashew No agrees/disagrees | |
he had sent for, | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
He was the one who oversaw the magnificent funeral that was held for Rosette | Flows well | stelladebiaggi No agrees/disagrees | |
It was not many days late | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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that | Omission ...that same evening... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling ...an hour or so...about an hour... | axies | |
| Omission ...together waiting for him or, ...awaiting for him... I believe to be a more correct way in English | axies | |
shared in it like a brother | Syntax offered brotherly support | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 1 Tristan’s | Inconsistencies Ulric's | ebrahy | |
| Omission not sure they went as far as a bow though it fits in with the epoch | Josephine Cassar | |
like | Syntax 'customary among' perhaps | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 As for the women, for five minutes they brazenly subjected the almost embarras | Other Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies | |
r him next to Fann | Other By altering sentence construction nothing is achieved and sounds foreigner. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +3 2 departed | Mistranslations departed friend/one. Needs a noun. | Clive Phillips | |
cried out | Syntax exclaimed | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
shouted | Syntax called out | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulrich de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulrich had arranged a meeting there that same evening with three of the most renowned physicians in Paris. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulrich returned to his former lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had already called, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may now take your leave, gentlemen," said Ulrich to the doctors. "The person concerning whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us". Tristan, now alone with Count Ulrich, made no effort to ease his friend's pain, but, like a brother, he made it his own. It was Tristan who organized Rosette’s splendid funeral ceremony, to the utter amazement of the entire hospital. He also bought back the objects which the young girl had brought with her and which, upon her death, had become the property of the hospital. Among these objects there was a little blue dress, the only one the poor girl, now deceased, still had. He also saw to it that the furniture that had belonged to Ulrich while he was still living with Rosette was placed in a room in his new apartment. It was just a few days later when Ulrich, now resolved to die, was leaving for England. Such were the events in the life of this man that immediately preceded his arrival in the café de Foy. Ulrich’s appearance caused a great stir among those present. The men rose to their feet and addressed him with the courtesy that was customary in such society. As for the women, they stared brazenly at the somewhat embarrassed Count de Rouvres for some five minutes, with an inquisitiveness bordering on indiscretion. “Come now, my dear deceased friend”, said Tristan, as he helped him to the seat that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “Propose a toast to your return to the world of the living. “Madam,” he added, indicating Fanny, who was motionless under her mask, “Madam will drink to your health. And you”, he whispered to the young lady, “Don’t forget my advice.” Ulrich took a large glass, filled it to the brim and said loudly: “I drink … “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden”, Tristan shouted to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulrich as he brought the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbor. “And for my part”, replied Fanny, as she also sipped her drink … I drink to youth, to love. And just like a flash of lightning tearing through a cloud, a smile of flame lit up her face under her velvet mask. | Entry #16645 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 3.03 | 3.12 (17 ratings) | 2.94 (17 ratings) |
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had arranged a meeting there that same evening with three of the most | Flows well a meeting 'there', that same evening, 'of the most' - all bang on | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
aw to it th | Flows well 'saw to it that' - perfect | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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-2 1 , | Punctuation French punctuation: no comma required in English | kashew | |
+1 1 he made it his own | Other Not sure this is idiomatic | emma mandley | |
objects | Mistranslations effecrs-also to avoid repetition in next line | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other Either a comma before "there", or the omission of the word. "Among these objects was a little..." flows well. | Nivetha Velupur | |
| Mistranslations 'the' blue dress - important within the context | Marian Vieyra | |
placed | Mistranslations delivered to | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. That very same evening, Ulric was convening three of Paris’ most illustrious doctors. Then he rushed out to fetch Rosette. She had passed away only an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, Gentlemen,” Ulric informed them. “The person I wanted to talk to you about is no more.” Tristan stayed behind with the Count and, rather than attempting to ease his pain, lent a brotherly hand. It was he who organized the magnificent funeral service, much to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He repurchased the belongings the young girl had brought with her and which had been handed over to the administration when she died. Among them, the little blue dress, the only one the poor thing had left. He also saw to it that Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. Not long after, Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such were the events leading up to the moment when our character walked into the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused quite a stir amongst those present. The men stood up to pay their gentlemanly respects. As for the women, they brazenly scrutinized the Count for five minutes, bombarding him almost to the point of embarrassment with their indiscreetly inquisitive gaze. “Come, my dearly departed,” said Tristan, seating Ulric in the predesignated spot next to Fanny. “Let us toast your return to the world of the living. My lady,” he added referring to Fanny who remained impassive behind her mask, “my lady will see you right. And you,” he said softly in the ear of the young woman, “had better not forget what I suggested.” Ulric seized a large glass, filled to the brim, and bellowed, “I drink—“ “Don’t forget political toasts are not allowed!” yelled Tristan. “I drink to death,” said Ulric, acknowledging his masked companion before lifting the glass to his lips. “And I—,” Fanny responded, downing her drink, “I drink to youth and to love.” And like a lightning bolt piercing a cloud, a dazzling smile lit up beneath her velvety mask. | Entry #19982 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.97 | 3.06 (16 ratings) | 2.88 (16 ratings) |
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-3 3 convening | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 rushed out to fetch | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-2 1 lent a brotherly hand | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
poor thing had left | Flows well Good idiomatic translation | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 pay their gentlemanly respects | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 1 brazenly scrutinized | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-2 2 bombarding him almost to the point of embarrassment | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 indiscreetly inquisitive gaze | Flows well Nice turn of phrase. | Clive Phillips | |
+3 1 impassive | Flows well Good lateral thinking away from "motionless" | magsyl | |
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-1 +1 1 appointed day | Mistranslations Au jour fixé=ce/le même jour=on that day/that same day | axies | |
-1 1 was convening | Syntax Strange construction in English. "..had convened" perhaps? | Elizabeth Slaney | |
s. | Omission missing part her-he had convened the doctors to see the patient at the flat | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 lodgings | Other "lodgings" should not be plural here | JanaW (X) | |
| Punctuation Not normally capitalised | magsyl | |
As for the women, the | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +3 4 dearly departed | Mistranslations Dearly departed is not correct | Jane Golding | |
+3 2 predesignated spot | Syntax Not of the era and not in the ST. | Marian Vieyra | |
behind | Spelling beneath | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 1 my lady will see you right | | Sheri P | |
said softly | Other whispered for a better term | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 bellowed | Mistranslations Inappropriate for the context, surely | Sheila Wilson | |
+3 1 yelled | Mistranslations Again, this seems inappropriate | Sheila Wilson | |
+4 1 death | Grammar errors Death should be written with a capital "D". Confusion with drinking oneself to death. | Elizabeth Slaney | |
before lifting the glass to his lips. | Mistranslations lost in translation; not the same meaning. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
responded | Other replied/answered | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 velvety | Mistranslations why not stick to velvet mask? | Marian Vieyra | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouves’ apartment was ready. Ulric arranged for the three foremost physicians in Paris to attend that same evening. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. He returned to his new lodgings where his old friend Tristan had been summoned and was waiting for him with the three physicians. “You may leave, gentlemen,” Ulric said to the latter. “The person for whom I wished to consult you is no longer.” Tristan, alone with the Count, made no attempt to console him, merely remaining by his side as a brother would. It was he who organised Rosette’s splendid funeral service that astonished the entire hospital. He bought back the items that Rosette had taken with her, and which, after her death, had become state property. Among the items was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. He also saw to it that Ulric’s old furnishings, from the time he had lived with Rosette, were taken to a room in his new apartment. A few days later Ulric, determined to die, departed for England. Such was the past history of our character when he stepped into the salons of the Café de Foy. His arrival caused quite a flurry amongst the gathering. The men stood and greeted him courteously as good manners dictated. The women, however, curious to the point of indiscretion, brazenly shot looks at a visibly discomfited Count de Rouves for a full five minutes. ‘Come now, my dear departed,” said Tristan, seating Ulric in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “propose a toast to mark your return to the land of the living.” “Madame,” Tristan added, gesturing towards Fanny, motionless behind her mask, “will respond.” “And you, Madame,” he whispered in the young woman’s ear. “Don’t forget the advice I have given you.” Ulric picked up a large brimming glass and declared: “I drink…” “Remember that toasts of a political nature are forbidden,” cried Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, greeting the masked woman beside him before raising the glass to his lips. “And I,” replied Fanny, drinking in turn, “drink to youth, to love.” And, like lightning piercing a cloud, a fiery smile flashed across her velvet mask. | Entry #20990 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.92 | 3.00 (20 ratings) | 2.84 (19 ratings) |
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physicians | Good term selection suits the era of the ST writing | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 Rosette’s splendid funeral service that astonished the entire hospital | Flows well neat solution | rebeccacomley | |
+1 Such was the past history of our character when he stepped into the salons of the Café de Foy. | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
as good manners dictated. | Flows well | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 brazenly shot looks at a visibly discomfited | Flows well | Sian Cooper | |
-1 +1 2 fiery smile flashed across her velvet mask | Flows well Conveys all the meaning but nice and succinctly | magsyl | |
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-1 +4 1 to attend that same evening. | Omission Attend where? 'Y' not translated. | Brian Pitts | |
+5 1 where his old friend Tristan had been summoned | Omission "qu'il avait fait appeler" – the ST makes it clear that Ulric ('il') had carried out this action. | Brian Pitts | |
+1 1 merely | Mistranslations Use of this adverb to translate the SL conjunction, 'mais', introduces a sense of negative contrast/judgement not present in the ST narrative. | Brian Pitts | |
| Spelling Missing "r" in Rouvres and mixture of original title and translated version | magsyl | |
| Grammar errors Use of the perfect sounds unnatural here (in British English at least). "I gave you" would be better in my opinion. | Brian Pitts | |
| Other 'full to the brim' is the more literal and more natural sounding translation. I believe if you are to say 'large brimming' you need a comma between them, anyway | Sian Cooper | |
| Other Sounds a bit clunky given that it is direct speech | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations more of an acknowlegement than a greeting | Marian Vieyra | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric had made an arrangement to meet there, on that same evening, three of the most celebrated physicians in Paris. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, awaiting him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” Ulric said to them. “The person for whom I wished to consult you is no more.” Tristan alone remained with Count Ulric, making no attempt to comfort him but supporting him like a brother. It was he who arranged the splendid funeral for Rosette, much to the astonishment of the entire hospital. He brought back the objects the girl had taken with her which, on her death, had become government property. Among these was the little blue dress, the only one still owned by the poor dead girl. It was thanks to him that Ulric’s old furniture, from when he had lived with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. A few days later, having made the decision to die, Ulric left for England. This, then, was the background to his entry into the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir among those assembled. The men stood and gave him a courteous, gentlemanly greeting. The women stared at him openly for five minutes almost embarrassing the Count de Rouvres, their gaze inquisitive to the point of indiscretion. “So, my dear departed friend,” said Tristan, indicating the seat that had been reserved for Ulric next to Fanny. “Raise your glass and drink to your return to the land of the living. Madam,” he added, nodding towards Fanny, motionless beneath her mask, “will approve. And you,” he whispered in the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I recommended.” Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and cried “I drink….” “Political toasts are forbidden, don’t forget” cried Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips after bowing to his masked neighbour. “And I,” replied Fanny, raising her glass in turn, “… I drink to youth, and love.” Under her velvet mask a dazzling smile lit her face, like a flash of lightning piercing a cloud. | Entry #19583 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.89 | 2.89 (19 ratings) | 2.88 (16 ratings) |
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+3 This, then, was the background to his entry into the salons of the Café de Foy. | Flows well | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
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+1 On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. | Syntax Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. | David Gosselin (X) | |
-2 1 Ulric had made an arrangement to meet there, on that same evening, three of the most celebrated physicians in Paris | Syntax Order of sentence is strange in English. | Elizabeth Slaney | |
| Mistranslations The verb "courir" should not be translated literally here. It means he hurried or rushed. | Emma Paulay | |
-2 his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, awaiting him | Other Very clunky | Emma Paulay | |
alone remained | Syntax "remained alone" is more natural. As far as tense is concerned, a more appropriate translation would be "Tristan, who had remained alone with..." | Emma Paulay No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 the objects the girl had taken with her | Other Rosette's things or her personal effects | Emma Paulay | |
to die | Mistranslations the suggestion is that he wished to "end his life". | Noël Purcell-O'Byrne No agrees/disagrees | |
for five minutes | Omission a full five minutes | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
“Political toasts are forbidden, don’t forget | Syntax Better to put 'don't forget' at the beginning. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s apartment was ready. Ulric arranged for three of the most renowned doctors in Paris to meet him there that evening, and then rushed off to fetch Rosette. She had died just an hour previously. Ulric went back to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him with the three doctors. ‘You may go, gentlemen,’ Ulric told the doctors. ‘The person I wished to consult you about is no more.’ Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not attempt to comfort him; instead, he shared in his grief as a brother would. It was he who organised the magnificent funeral that was held for Rosette, to the hospital’s great surprise. He bought back the things the young woman had taken with her, which had become the property of the administration after her death. Among these items was the little blue dress, the poor dead girl’s only remaining one. It was also he who arranged for Ulric’s old furniture, from his time living with Rosette, to be moved into a room of the new apartment. A few days later, Ulric, having resolved to die, left for England. These were the events that led up to his entrance into the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused quite a stir among the gathering. The men stood up and greeted him in the courteous manner of polite society. The women, on the other hand, almost embarrassed the Count de Rouvres with a barrage of brazen stares for a full five minutes, their curiosity bordering on nosiness. ‘Come, my dear dead friend,’ said Tristan, ushering Ulric to sit down in the place reserved for him next to Fanny. ‘Make a toast to your return to the world of the living. The lady will drink to it,’ he added, indicating Fanny, motionless behind her mask. ‘As for you,’ he whispered into the young woman’s ear, ‘don’t forget what I told you.’ Ulric held up a large glass, full to the brim, and cried: ‘I drink to--’ ‘Remember, political toasts are not allowed,’ Tristan interjected. ‘I drink to Death,’ Ulric said, raising the glass to his lips, after bowing to his masked neighbour. ‘And I,’ replied Fanny, raising her own glass, ‘I drink to youth and to love.’ And then, like a flash of lightning breaking through a cloud, a bright smile flashed out from beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21512 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.89 | 2.93 (14 ratings) | 2.85 (13 ratings) |
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+1 like a flash of lightning breaking through a cloud, a bright smile flashed out from beneath her velvet mask. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
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-3 2 On the appointed day | Mistranslations Au jour fixé=ce/le même jour=on that day/that same day; me thinks! | axies | |
-2 2 was ready | Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
at | Omission ...same evening | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 fetch | Other look for; find; meet with etc. | axies | |
waiting | Mistranslations awaiting together... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 Left | Mistranslations Rester here is being used as an alternative to être. He wasn't 'left' alone, he just was alone with the Count. | Marian Vieyra | |
him | Other not ''him'' but Tristan himself; calmer (sa) doleur, can be one or the other! | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 funeral | Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
+2 1 hospital’s great surprise | Omission Omitting "all" makes it seem that the hospital itself was surprised! | Marian Vieyra | |
after | Other ...following her death; in case of dying; should she die; after passing away | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +2 3 one | Mistranslations possession-seems like Rosette only had one dress left, here the meaning is that that was the only thing left that belonged to her | Josephine Cassar | |
+2 his time living with Rosette | Other from the time he lived with Rosette | Josephine Cassar | |
of | Spelling in his/ for his | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
f the | Spelling | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 These were the events | Other Such was the background/history/past | axies | |
The women, on the other hand, | Other failed to see lack of punct. (2 parag.not 1): ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 dead friend | Mistranslations ''Come, my lost friend...'' | axies | |
-1 1 n | Punctuation comma | axies | |
‘Make a toast to your | Other ''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass; My contribution is: Lets drink/toast to your return to the land of the living. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +3 2 will drink to it | Mistranslations not the translation of 'faire raison' | Josephine Cassar | |
‘As for you | Other sounds rude. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling warned/shouted/announced | axies | |
‘I drink to--’ | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-4 3 o | Mistranslations the... | axies | |
| Other He saluted her; maybe bowed to her; raised his hand and or blew her a kiss! we are not told how he saluted her. | axies | |
-1 1 youth | Mistranslations youthfulness | axies | |
And then | Other extra to source | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready . Ulric asked three of the most renowned doctors in Paris to meet him that very night. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric came back to his new lodgings. There he found his old friend Tristan, whose presence he had requested, waiting with the three doctors. Gentlemen, you may leave, said Ulric to them. The person I wanted to see you about is no more. Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not try to assuage his pain, but he shared it like a brother. It was him who organised the splendid funeral service for Rosette, to the great astonishment of everyone at the hospital. He bought back all the things that the young woman had taken with her, and which following her death, had become the property of the administrative department. Among these was the little blue dress, the only one that the poor deceased still possessed. He also arranged for Ulric's old furniture from when he lived with Rosette, to be brought back and placed into one of the rooms in his new apartment. Barely a few days later, Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the history of this character when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused quite a stir among the gathering. The men stood up and gave him the polite nod of men of the world. As for the women, curious to the point of indiscretion, they stared for five minutes at the Count de Rouvres so insolently and insistently that he was almost embarrassed. -Now, my dear deceased, said Tristan while he made Ulric sit on the chair reserved for him near Fanny, please announce your return to the world of the living with a toast. My lady, added Tristan pointing to Fanny, motionless under her mask, will drink a glass to your health. And, he whispered in the ear of the young woman, don't forget the recommendation I gave you. Ulric took a big glass full to the brim and shouted: -I drink... -Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan reminded him. -I drink to Death, said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips, after having bowed to his masked companion. -And I, answered Fanny taking a sip in turn...drink to youth and love. And like a bolt of lightning spearing a cloud, a blazing smile appeared under her velvet mask. | Entry #19567 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.82 | 2.71 (17 ratings) | 2.93 (15 ratings) |
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| Other One of the rare examples of no comma following. | kashew | |
+1 whose presence he had requested | Flows well the most appropriate for an old friend, and correct register | Sheila Wilson | |
he was almost embarrassed | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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+2 1 to meet him that very night. | Omission to meet him there - 'y' left out. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations alone with Count Ulric- not left alone | Marian Vieyra | |
+5 It was him who organised | Grammar errors Use of 'him' rather than 'he' not strictly grammatical here: inappropriate for a formal text like this one. | Brian Pitts | |
| Spelling the girl had brought (into the hospital) with her | Marian Vieyra | |
+1 administrative departmen | Mistranslations administration sounds better-rather than as if dealing with accounts/managment | Josephine Cassar | |
deceased | Omission girl - a noun is required after the adjective deceased. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 history of this character | Mistranslations Misleadleading considering the context | Heather Allsopp (X) | |
+1 insolently and insistently | Mistranslations nothing in text & already translated by 'curious to the point of indiscretion' | Josephine Cassar | |
| Other In sustained literary language, "Departed" fits the use better | Heather Allsopp (X) | |
+1 while he made Ulric sit on the chair | Mistranslations inviting him to sit would be politer. | Marian Vieyra | |
My lady | Other Not appropriate - sounds a bit medieval. | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
a glass | Mistranslations not just a glass, will drink as much as you-faire raison | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
to your health | Mistranslations | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
shouted | Mistranslations 'exclaimed' would be better | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 after having | Grammar errors ', after bowing' or ', having bowed'. | Clive Phillips | |
| On the appointed day, count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. Ulric arranged for three of the most prominent physicians in Paris to call there that same evening. Then he ran to get Rosette. She had died just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, finding there his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. ‘You may retire, gentlemen’, Ulric said to the doctors. ‘The person for whom I wished to consult you no longer exists.’ Tristan, who had remained alone with count Ulric, did not attempt to soothe his grief but joined in it fraternally. It was he who directed the grand funeral they gave Rosette, to the great amazement of all the hospital. He bought back the items that the young girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the management. Among these was the little blue dress, the only one the poor late girl had been left with. It was Tristan, too, who arranged for Ulric’s old furniture, from the time of his cohabitation with Rosette, to be transported to a room of his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, resolved to die, would leave for England. Such was the history of this personage at the moment of his entry into the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir among the company. The men rose and greeted him in the polite manner of society gentlemen. The women, on the other hand, brazenly kept the comte de Rouvres near to embarrassment for five minutes under the sustained fire of their stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. ‘Now then, my dear departed’, said Tristan, inviting Ulric to sit in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, ‘why don’t you announce your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame’, he added with a gesture towards Fanny, motionless behind her mask, ‘Madame shall give you the reply.’ Ulric took hold of a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: ‘I drink—’ ‘Do not forget that political toasts are not allowed!’, Tristan called out to him. ‘I drink to Death’, said Ulric lifting the glass to his lips, after paying his respects to his masked neighbour. ‘And I...’, replied Fanny, drinking in turn, ‘I drink to youth, to love.’ And like a thunderbolt tearing through a cloud, an incandescent smile caught flame underneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21598 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.80 | 2.71 (17 ratings) | 2.88 (16 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
in the polite manner of society gentlemen. | Flows well | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
under the sustained fire of their stares | Flows well | Catherine Halter No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Punctuation This needs capitalising | magsyl | |
-1 +4 1 call | Mistranslations meet him there, not just call at any time | Josephine Cassar | |
| Other ...waiting for him, along with the three doctors/physicians. ‘’with the three doctors’’ sounds odd to me. | axies | |
n | Punctuation comma missing; and, consult you on...wish your advice on... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations 'arranged' might be more accurate | emma mandley | |
th | Omission ...at the hospital | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 late girl | Other The late Mrs Smith, but not the "late girl" | B D Finch | |
who arranged fo | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 cohabitation | Other too modern a term for this piece | Marian Vieyra | |
cohabitation | Mistranslations Too modern a term. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
personage | Spelling not idiomatic | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
s near to embarrassment | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
inviting | Grammar errors forcing to... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Ulric to sit in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, ‘why don’t you annou | Mistranslations (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready on the agreed date. It was there that he arranged to meet three of the most renowned doctors in Paris that same evening. Then he went to collect Rosette. She had passed away just an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new lodgings to find his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, and who was waiting together with the three doctors. “Gentlemen, there is no need for me to detain you any longer”, Ulric told them. “The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us.” Alone with the Count, Tristan made no attempt to soothe his pain, but shared his sorrow as a brother would. It was he who conducted the splendid funeral for Rosette, much to the surprise of those at the hospital. He re-acquired the possessions the young girl had brought with her, which after her death had passed to the administration. Amongst the objects was a little blue dress, her last remaining one. He also ensured that Ulric’s old furniture – from when he lived with Rosette – was moved into one of the rooms in the new apartment. Only a few days later Ulric left for England, having resolved to die. Such were the events leading to point when he walked into the Cafe de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused great commotion amongst those present. The men rose and extended to him the greetings common between gentlemen. The ladies, curiosity getting the better of their manners, subjected the count to the full onslaught of their gaze for a whole five minutes, making him feel decidedly ill at ease. “Come, my tortured soul”, said Tristan, motioning to Ulric to sit down in the seat he had saved for him next to Fanny, “and mark your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame will join you”, he added, indicating Fanny, expressionless beneath her mask. “And you”, he whispered to the young woman, “don’t forget my counsel.” Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and proclaimed “I’ll drink to...” “Remember political toasts are forbidden” interrupted Tristan. “...To death”, said Ulric, and after having toasted his masked neighbour he raised the glass to his lips. “And l”, replied Fanny raising her glass to drink “...will drink to youth, and to love”. As lightening rips through a cloud, so a smile flashed beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #20017 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 2.75 | 2.75 (12 ratings) | 2.75 (12 ratings) |
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-2 2 Gentlemen, there is no need for me to detain you any longer | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
+2 The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us | Flows well | Ciaran Edwards (X) | |
+1 curiosity getting the better of their manners | Other a daring step away from the text that really works | Pauline Beaumont | |
And l”, replied Fanny raising her glass to drink “...will drink to youth, and to love” | Flows well fits well with the flow of the dialogue | Janice Giffin No agrees/disagrees | |
As lightening rips through a cloud, so a smile flashed beneath her velvet mask. | Flows well | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
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with the three doctors | Other ...waiting for him, along with the three doctors/physicians. ‘’with the three doctors’’ sounds odd to me. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Gentlemen, there is no need for me to detain you any longe | Mistranslations Mais non; voilà la traduction française de: ''Gentlemen, there is no need for me to detain you any longer... ''Chèrs Monsieurs, il est/il me semble inutile, qui je vous retient davantage. | axies | |
+2 1 re-acquired | Mistranslations sounds like a financial takeover | Marian Vieyra | |
had passed to | Syntax had become the property of | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 ensured | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
– | Punctuation comma instead | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 extended to him the greetings common between gentlemen | Spelling too wordy | Janice Giffin | |
The ladies, curiosity getting the better of their manners, subjected the count to the full onslaught of their gaze for a whole five minutes, mak | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the ladies/women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Loses the sense of being 'deceased/departed' | Marian Vieyra | |
ny, “and mark your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame will | Spelling (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
raising her glass to | Mistranslations ...drinking | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations youthfulness ''je bois à la jeunesse...'' | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulrich de Rouvres’ flat was ready. Ulrich was having a meeting that evening with three of the most distinguished doctors in Paris. So he hurried off in search of Rosette. She had just died an hour ago. Ulrich came back to his new dwelling, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, and who was waiting with the three doctors. “You may go home, gentlemen,” Ulrich told them. “The person I wanted to consult with you about has passed away.” Tristan, left alone with Count Ulrich, did not try to ease his pain, but shared it like a brother. It was he who handled the splendid services for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the items the young woman had brought with her, and which, upon her death, had became the property of the management. Amongst these items was a little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased had left. He also made sure that Ulrich’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, was transported to one of the rooms of the new flat. A few days later Ulrich, who just wanted to die, left for England. Such was the background of this person when he entered the halls of the Café de Foy. Ulrich’s arrival caused a great stir amongst those assembled. The men stood and gave him the courteous salute common to worldly people. As for the women, they brazenly spent the next five minutes staring at the Count de Rouvres, who was almost embarrassed by the intensity of their looks, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come on, old chap,” said Tristan as he led Ulrich to the place he had reserved for him next to Fanny, “give us a toast to celebrate your return to the world of the living.” “Madame,” added Tristan pointing to Fanny, motionless under her mask, “Madame will join you in a toast.” “And you,” he whispered into the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I told you.” Ulrich picked up a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: “I drink....” “Don’t forget that political toasts are not allowed,” called out Tristan. “I drink to death,” said Ulrich as he brought the glass to his lips after saluting his masked neighbour. “And I,” answered Fanny when her turn came to drink... “I drink to youth, to love.” And, just as a flash of lightning tears across a cloud, a brilliant smile flashed under her velvet mask. | Entry #15661 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.73 | 2.54 (13 ratings) | 2.92 (13 ratings) |
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-5 +1 4 old chap | Flows well I think it sounds better like this than trying to convey the French exactly | magsyl | |
+1 And, just as a flash of lightning tears across a cloud, a brilliant smile flashed under her velvet mask. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
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+3 1 flat | Other "Flat" doesn't sound grand enough for the context and century | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations had arranged a meeting-not exactly the meaning in text-to bring it out | Josephine Cassar | |
+5 2 ago | Grammar errors Given the tense of the whole piece, shouldn't this be "before"? | magsyl | |
splendid | Omission ...funeral | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+6 1 services | Mistranslations The plural in the original shouldn't be transferred into English | magsyl | |
+3 1 a | Grammar errors definite article-the, not a, meaning not any blue dress but the only one | Josephine Cassar | |
He also made sure | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
flat | Spelling Not appropriate to the period. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Not in the ST and not in the book, either. | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +1 1 you in a toast | Mistranslations not really the meaning of faire raison | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations incorrect in this context (saluting is for soldiers). | emma mandley | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was made up. Ulric arranged for three of the most renowned doctors in Paris to meet him there that very evening. Then he hurried to fetch Rosette. She had just died in the previous hour. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may take your leave, gentlemen,” Ulric said to them. “The person I wished to consult you about is no longer in existence.” Tristan remained alone with count Ulric. He did not try to ease his pain, but shared in it as a brother. It was he who directed the splendid funeral that was given to Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects which the young girl had taken with her and which had become the administration’s property after her death. Amongst these objects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. He also made arrangements for the old furnishings which Ulric had used while he resided with Rosette to be moved into a room in his new apartment. It was but a few days later that Ulric left for England, intent on dying. Such was the history of this character as he entered the salons of the café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival provoked a great reaction in the crowd. The men stood up and accorded him the courteous greeting of good society. As for the women, for five minutes they brazenly held the count of Rouvres under the battery of their gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion, so that he felt almost abashed. “Come, dear departed one,” said Tristan, leading Ulric to the seat that had been reserved for him near Fanny, “proclaim your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madame,” added Tristan, indicating Fanny, motionless under her mask, “Madame will favour you with her support.” “As for you,” he murmured low into the young lady’s ear “don’t forget my advice.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: “Here’s to…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan called out to him. “Here’s to Death,” said Ulric, lifting the glass to his lips after raising it to his masked neighbour. “And here,” replied Fanny, drinking in turn… “Here’s to youth, here’s to love.” And like a bolt of lightning rending a cloud, a blazing smile flared up under her velvet mask. | Entry #18835 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.71 | 2.74 (19 ratings) | 2.67 (18 ratings) |
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+1 You may take your leave | Good term selection sounds in keeping with the era of the writing | rebeccacomley | |
+1 It was but a few days later | Flows well | Chance31 | |
called out | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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just died in | Syntax died within the past hour | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 3 whom he had sent for | Mistranslations whom he had had sent for | Jane F | |
with the three doctors | Mistranslations still dislike it, even though almost 100% of the odds are against me. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 s no longer in existence | Other no longer exists would flow better | Marian Vieyra | |
to | Syntax for | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
made arrangements | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
resided | Other lived with | Jane F No agrees/disagrees | |
provoked | Syntax 'evoked' perhaps | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
As for the women, for five minutes they brazenly held the count of Rou | Other Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
gazes | Other Plural 'gazes' sounds odd to me. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 curious | Grammar errors 'curieux' is an adjective to describe 'regards' | rebeccacomley | |
leading | Mistranslations ...obliging him to seat... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 will favour you with her support. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +1 1 low | Mistranslations softly | Jane F | |
| Mistranslations exclaimed | axies | |
| Mistranslations ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies | |
+2 1 “Here’s to youth, here’s to love.” | Other 'Here' repeated too many times. | Marian Vieyra | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric of Rouvres' apartment was prepared. Ulric made an appointment with three famous Paris doctors at the apartment for that same evening. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just died one hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new apartment where he met his old friend Tristan, whom he had asked to be called and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “Gentlemen, you can leave,” said Ulric to the doctors. “The person for whom I wanted to consult you no longer lives.” Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain but shared it as a brother. He was the one who directed the magnificent funeral service organised for Rosette, much to the astonishment of the entire Hospital. He bought back all the objects the young girl had brought with her, objects which, after her death, had reverted to the administration. Among the objects was a little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased lady had left. Ulric also had the furniture, which belonged to him when he was staying with Rosette, transported to a room in his new apartment. That was a few days before Ulric, determined to die, left for England. These made up the history of this character at the time he was entering the Cafe de Foy saloons. Ulric's arrival caused a stir among the attendance. The men stood up and extended the courteous greetings characteristic of the people of the world. As for the women, they shamelessly kept the Count of Rouvres almost embarrassed for five full minutes, staring at him with curiosity and even indiscretion. “Come on, my dear departed fellow,” said Tristran as he made Ulric take the seat reserved for him at Fanny's side, "mark your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madam,” Tristan added, pointing to Fanny who remained motionless under her mask, “madam will give you a reason to.” And you", he whispered in the young woman's ear, “Don’t forget what I recommended”. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: “Let’s drink …” “Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden”, cried Tristan in reply. “Let’s drink to Death" said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips after saluting his masked neighbour. “And I," replied Fanny as she drank in turn, "I am drinking to youth, to love." And like lightening flashing through the clouds, a bright smile illuminated her velvet mask. | Entry #20230 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 2.69 | 2.80 (15 ratings) | 2.57 (14 ratings) |
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+1 made an appointment with three famous Paris doctors at the apartment for that same evening | Flows well Although the 'three famous Paris doctors' is not so hot, the sentence as a whole deals well with the problem, notably by say 'at the apartment' instead of trying to stick with the literal 'there' | Sian Cooper | |
+1 left alone with Count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain but shared it as a brother | Flows well | Sian Cooper | |
my dear departed fellow | Good term selection | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
bright smile illuminated | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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prepared | Mistranslations ready | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 with three famous Paris doctor | Mistranslations three of the most famous doctors in Paris | Marian Vieyra | |
met | Mistranslations found, as in, Tristan is already there waiting for him | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 whom he had asked to be called | Mistranslations whom he had called for/sent for | Marian Vieyra | |
can | Syntax 'may' more appropriate for the period | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 no longer lives | Other OK it's right, but no-one would say or have said it. How about 'is no more' - I don't think I've seen anyone use that, and yet it is a good English standard equivalence with the romantic overtone of the era. | Sian Cooper | |
all th | Grammar errors all of the | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
reverted to | Spelling | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations It was Tristan, not Ulric who had the furniture moved | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations These - makes no sense in English. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations saloon - more wild west than Parisian. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations those attending, or those present. | Marian Vieyra | |
kept the Count of Rouvres almost embarrassed | Mistranslations not the correct meaning here | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
madam will give you a reason to | Mistranslations Madam will respond in kind. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
recommended | Mistranslations advised you to do | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
“Let’s drink …” | Mistranslations I drink | Jennifer Byers No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the scheduled day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s apartment was ready. Ulric arranged a meeting for that very evening, with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran off to look for Rosette. She had died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he saw his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, and who was waiting for him along with the three doctors. You may leave, Gentlemen, Ulric said to them. The person that I wanted you to consult on is no longer with us. . Tristan, now alone with Count Ulric, didn’t try to assuage his pain, but he empathized in a brotherly way. It was he who arranged the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the items she had brought with her, items which had become the property of the Administration after her death. One of these objects was a little blue dress, the only one that remained to the poor departed one. Also by means of his efforts, the old furniture that Ulric had when he had lived with Rosette, was placed in one room of his new apartment. It was a few days after this that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such were the events preceding the entrance of this person into the lounge of the Foy café. Ulric’s arrival caused a stir among those present. Men got up and courteously greeted him as people of the world do. As for the women, they gazed brazenly at the Count of Rouvres for a full 5 minutes, with a curiosity bordering on indiscretion, as he endured with embarrassment the intensity of their gazes. “All right, my dearly deceased one,” said Tristan, as he seated Ulric in the chair that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “ Celebrate with a toast, your return to the world of the living.” “Madam… “ he said, pointing to Fanny, who was frozen behind her mask..” will also drink a toast.” “And you, “ he whispered in the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I suggested to you.” Ulric held up a big glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden.” Tristan shouted to him. “ I drink to Death, “ said Ulric as he lifted the glass to his lips, after having greeted the masked lady at his side. “And I,” replied Fanny, as she drank in turn…” I drink to youth, to love.” And like a bolt of lightning that splits a cloud, a smile—bright as a flame—lit up her face beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #19297 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Roderick Weekes (X)Sjedinjene Američke Države Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.68 | 2.53 (17 ratings) | 2.82 (17 ratings) |
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+2 as he endured with embarrassment the intensity of their gazes. | Flows well Novel translation of this phrase | magsyl | |
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-2 +1 1 ready | Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
arranged a meeting | Mistranslations arranged a meeting there ('y') | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 look for Rosette. | Mistranslations He went to get her; not to look for her (he knew where she was). | emma mandley | |
| Syntax She had just died one hour before (or previously) | Marian Vieyra | |
+3 You may leave, Gentlemen, Ulric said to them | Punctuation Speech marks omitted | magsyl | |
Gentlemen, | Punctuation Not normally capitalised | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 I wanted you to consult on | Grammar errors on whose behalf I wanted to consult you... convoluted but more appropriate to the era. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Punctuation Extra space and full stop | magsyl | |
didn’t | Other Would avoid contractions in a text of this period | J. Taylor No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 assuage | Other English or French? | axies | |
| Inconsistencies This seems anachronistic - a modern term in a 19th century piece | magsyl | |
| Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
+3 1 the old furniture that Ulric had when he had lived with Rosette, was placed in one room of his new apartment. | Punctuation The solitary comma here effectively separates the passive subject ('the old furniture that Ulric had when he had lived with Rosette') from its verb phrase ('was placed'). It should either be omitted or paired with a preceding comma, e.g. between 'had' and 'when', to indicate a separate adjunct. | Brian Pitts | |
| Mistranslations Definite article required here. This is a reference to a specific group of men and their actions at a particular point in time. | Brian Pitts | |
| Mistranslations failed to see lack of punct. (2 parag.not 1): ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies | |
| Mistranslations ‘’Come, my lost friend...’’ | axies | |
+4 2 Celebrate with a toast, your return to the world of the living. | Punctuation Incorrect use of a single comma again. | Brian Pitts | |
pointing to | Other turning towards. Count does not 'indiquer en la pointant du doigt' | J. Taylor No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 frozen | Mistranslations with a fixed regard; motionless; | axies | |
suggested to you.” | Other told you. | J. Taylor No agrees/disagrees | |
-5 3 to | Grammar errors ...the Death | axies | |
| On the appointed date, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s apartment was ready. Ulric summoned three of the most famous doctors in Paris to meet there that very night. Then he hurried off to fetch Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new accomodations, where he encountered his old friend Tristan, for whom he had called and who, along with the three doctors, was waiting for him. “Gentlemen, you may leave,” Ulric said to them. “The person regarding whom I wished to consult with you has expired.” Tristan, who remained alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to ease his pain, but sympathized with it in a brotherly way. It was he who directed the grand funeral service for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects that the young girl had brought with her, which, upon her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the only one that the poor deceased had left. He took pains as well to have Ulric’s old furniture, from the time when he had resided with Rosette, transported to a room in his new apartment. It was but a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the young man’s background at the moment when he entered the rooms of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused quite a commotion among those assembled. The men rose to their feet and gave him the courteous greeting of fashionable people. As for the ladies, for five minutes the Count de Rouvres was almost embarrassed by the assault of their shameless stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, then, dearly departed,” said Tristan, seating Ulric at the place reserved for him beside Fanny, “signal your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madame,” Tristan added, pointing to Fanny, who was immobile beneath her mask, “Madame will drink right along with you. And you,” he murmured in the young lady’s ear, “don’t forget what I recommended to you.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried: “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden,” shouted Tristan. “I drink to Death,” Ulric said, bringing the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbor. “And I,” Fanny replied, drinking in her turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a lightning bolt tearing through a cloud, a fiery smile shone beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #19904 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.68 | 2.57 (14 ratings) | 2.79 (14 ratings) |
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+1 along with the three doctors | Flows well because it makes sense in English. ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
funeral service | Flows well instead of just ''funeral'' | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 He took pains | Flows well Suggests Tristan's selfless and devoted behaviour | magsyl | |
murmured | Flows well good choice | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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-2 +1 3 summoned | Mistranslations Seems significantly more assertive and authoritarian than "donna rendez-vous". | Brian Pitts | |
-3 +3 2 accomodations | Grammar errors This is never plural in English | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations A bit ambiguous - suggests Ulric may have called for Tristan when it seems clear he had sent for him | magsyl | |
-1 +3 2 The person regarding whom I wished to consult with you has expired. | Other Sounds a little convoluted. | Brian Pitts | |
the time | Other 'from when' | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
fashionable people | Mistranslations courteously addressed him as the norm/as etiquette demanded/good manners demanded, as required in society | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 for five | Other needs to be as strong as the ST-for a full five minutes | Josephine Cassar | |
d,” said Tristan, seating Ulric at the place reserved for him beside Fanny, “s | Punctuation (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 pointing | Inconsistencies Perhaps not what a well-bred person would do. I was always told it was rude to point. | magsyl | |
“Madame will drink | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Mistranslations exclaimed...announced... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
to Death | Mistranslations’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demisedLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations youthfulness; ...to the young and to love. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| When the day arrived, Count Ulric de Rouvres had made sure his apartment was ready. He arranged for three of the most famous Parisian doctors to arrive that very evening. The count rushed to get Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his new lodging. His old friend Tristan, who had been told to come, was waiting along with the three physicians. “You may go now, my good men,” Ulric told the doctors. “The one for whom I sought your help is no longer with us.” Remaining with the count, Tristan did not try to soothe his pain, but offered him brotherly sympathy. He was the one to direct the grand funeral given in Rosette’s honor, much to the surprise of the entire hospital. He also purchased those items the young girl had taken with her, which had passed to the management after her death. Among them was a little blue dress, the only one still belonging to the unfortunate girl. As for the furniture Ulric owned while living with Rosette, Tristan made arrangements for it to be sent to the count’s new residence. Not long after this, Ulric left for England, determined to leave this world. Such were the personal details known about him as he made his way through the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival provoked much commotion among those present. Men rose to proffer the courtly greetings befitting well-bred people. As to the women, for five minutes they kept the count of Rouvres almost overwhelmed by their constant observation, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come now, my departed friend,” said Tristan as he beckoned Ulric to take his assigned seat near Fanny. “Make a toast to announce your return to the world of the living. Madam,” he continued, waving toward Fanny, who was motionless under her mask, “she will toast to your health.” Whispering into the young woman’s ear, he said “And you must remember what I suggested.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim, and cried out: “I drink…” “Remember—there are no political speeches here!” Tristan shouted. “I drink to Death,” Ulric said as he brought the glass to his lips, after nodding courteously to the masked woman. “Well, I…” Fanny replied as she took a drink in kind, “I will drink to youth, and to love.” Then, like a flash of lightning across the sky, a passionate smile lit up her face below the felt mask. | Entry #21206 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.68 | 2.68 (19 ratings) | 2.68 (19 ratings) |
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-2 1 She had been dead for an hour | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+2 offered him brotherly sympathy | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 Men rose to proffer the courtly greetings befitting well-bred people. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
| Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 after nodding courteously to the masked woman. | Flows well good solution | emma mandley | |
| Flows well ''and'' to love! (1 peer in 12, so far have got it right) | axies | |
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-1 +2 1 arranged | Mistranslations received/welcome | axies | |
| Mistranslations obsolete for this translation/phrase | axies | |
+3 1 who had been told to come | Other whom he had called, | axies | |
| Mistranslations not the right words for ''gentlemen'' | axies | |
-2 +1 1 sought your help | Omission ...help for... | axies | |
| Omission name is missing | axies | |
+3 direct the grand funeral | Mistranslations organised/prepared the funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
| Omission ...staff at the... | axies | |
| Mistranslations repurchased/bought back | axies | |
taken | Mistranslations brought with her | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
passed | Other weak term | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations 'the' - quite important in the context of the book. | Marian Vieyra | |
unfortunate girl. | Mistranslations ...dear departed | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
As for the | Mistranslations obsolete for this translation/phrase | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Tristan made arrangements for it to be sent to the count’s new residence. | Mistranslations totally misunderstood | axies | |
the count’s new residence | Omission no mention of "a room" in the new residence. | Elizabeth Slaney No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 determined to leave this world | Mistranslations clever but, totally different meaning. What world? | axies | |
+2 1 personal details | Mistranslations events, personal details not in ST | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations into rather than through | Laura Nagle (X) | |
As to the women, for five minutes they kept the count of Rouvres almost overwhelmed by their constant observation, curious to the point | Mistranslations Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 she | Mistranslations He was talking to and looking at Ulric, not to/at Madame, then he turned to Madame, so it is not good here | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations And you, remember what I suggested-no must in it-changes the tone | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 there are no political speeches here | Other Need to mention the fact political speeches were actually forbidden. | Marian Vieyra | |
-3 +1 2 “I drink to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, lateLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
| Mistranslations Velvet, not felt - felt is feutre | Jane Golding | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric had arranged to meet three of the most renowned physicians in Paris there that very evening. He then ran to find Rosette. She had just died one hour before. Ulric returned to his new home to find his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him with the three physicians. Ulric addressed them. “Gentlemen, you may go.” “The person I wanted to consult you about is no longer with us.” Alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not attempt to ease his pain, but joined him in his sorrow, like a brother. It was Tristan who arranged the magnificent funeral for Rosette, to the amazement of the whole hospital. He purchased the personal effects the young girl had brought with her which, after her death, had become the property of the hospital administration. Among these effects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor dead girl had left. He was also responsible for moving Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, determined to end his life, left for England. Such was this character’s background story when he entered the Café de Foy coffee rooms. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion among those gathered. The men rose and greeted him in the courteous manner of society people. But the ladies held the almost embarrassed Count de Roubres under the impudent battery of their gaze for a full five minutes, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed one”, said Tristan, motioning Ulric to sit at the place reserved for him alongside Fanny, “make a toast to signal your return to the land of the living.” “Madam”, added Tristan, pointing at Fanny who was motionless beneath her mask, “madam will help you forget. “And you”, he whispered into the young woman's ear, “remember what I told you.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I propose a toast... “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden”, cried Tristan. to Death”, said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips, after raising it to his masked companion. “And I”, replied Fanny, drinking in turn, “propose a toast to youth and love." And like a flash of lightning ripping through a cloud, the spark of a smile caught fire beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #18049 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 2.67 | 2.67 (18 ratings) | 2.67 (18 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
of the hospital administration | Flows well I like the addition of 'hospital' here - it adds clarity | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
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there | Mistranslations extra to original | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other "search for" would be preferable to "find" | Michal Pober | |
| Other no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = past the/one hour An hour, at least, has gone since she died. | axies | |
-2 1 with the three physicians. | Other ...waiting for him, along with the three doctors/physicians. ‘’with the three doctors’’ sounds odd to me. | axies | |
| Other Not in source doc. | axies | |
-1 +1 1 “ | Punctuation This " should also not be there. | Michal Pober | |
purchased | Mistranslations bought back | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
moving | Mistranslations he didn't move it himself | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 end his life | Mistranslations ST does not indicate that he wishes to commit suicide. | Clive Phillips | |
But the ladies held the almost embarrassed Count de Roubres under the | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
dam”, added Tristan, pointing at Fanny who was motionless beneath her mask, “madam will help you forget. | Mistranslations (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
pointing at | Other it is impolite to 'point at'-indicate by turning towards the person maybe | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was made ready. Ulric arranged for three of the most renowned doctors in Paris to meet him there that evening. Then he hurried off to fetch Rosette. But Rosette had died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new abode, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had had summoned, waiting with the three doctors. — You may leave, Sirs, said Ulric to the doctors. The person about whom I wished to consult you is no more. Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, made no attempt to soothe Ulric's sadness, but shared his grief in a brotherly way. He personally arranged a splendid funeral for Rosette, to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He purchased the items that Rosette had brought with her; after her death, these items had become the property of the administration. Among them was her little blue dress, the poor deceased girl's only remaining dress. He also arranged for the furniture that had belonged to Ulric when he was living with Rosette to be delivered to a room in his new apartment. A few days later, Ulric left for England, his mind set on dying. Such were the events in the life of this character prior to his arrival among the assembled guests at the Café de Foy, which created quite a stir. The men all stood up and greeted him politely, as is customary for men of the world, while the women stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes, making him uncomfortable beneath their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. — Come, my dear departed one, said Tristan, inviting Ulric to sit in the seat he had saved for him next to Fanny. Drink a toast to mark your return to the land of the living! This lady – he added, gesturing towards Fanny, who was motionless under her mask – this lady will convince you that you were right. And whispered in her ear: —Don't forget my suggestions! Ulric raised a large, brimming glass and cried: —I drink to … —Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan said to him. — I drink to Death, said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips, after acknowledging his masked neighbour. — And Fanny replied, raising her glass in turn … I drink to youth and love. And, like lightning ripping through a cloud, a smile flickered under her velvet mask. | Entry #21065 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.65 | 2.62 (13 ratings) | 2.67 (12 ratings) |
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-1 +1 1 poor deceased girl's only remaining dress. | Flows well | Marian Vieyra | |
beneath their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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made ready | Mistranslations ST just says it was ready, not made ready | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +2 1 had had | Mistranslations whom he had summoned (himself as he needed him) | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 with the three doctors. | Other ...waiting for him, along with the three doctors/physicians. ‘’with the three doctors’’ sounds odd to me. | axies | |
| Mistranslations more than sadness - suffering, pain | Marian Vieyra | |
| Grammar errors the little blue dress - in the book the dress has significance. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
+1 prior to his arrival among the assembled guests at the Café de Foy, which created quite a stir. | Mistranslations The text source says something else, no doubt. | axies | |
which created quite a stir. | Syntax wrong to split up the paragraph. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 while the women stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes, makin | Mistranslations easy to miss if translated ''à la lettre''. Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies | |
+5 1 this lady will convince you that you were right | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
| Omission Then he whispered-the verb 'whispered' must have a subject | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demisedLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
+1 raising her glass in turn | Mistranslations ...her turn to drink... Also a dialogue is taking place and should show as such | axies | |
| Grammar errors youthfulness ''je bois à la jeunesse''... | axies | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' flat was ready. Ulric arranged to meet three of the most renowned doctors in Paris that same evening. Then he hurried off to get Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his flat, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had had called, and who was waiting with the three doctors. "You may leave, kind sirs," Ulric told them. "The person on whose behalf I wished to consult you is no longer with us". Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, did not try to assuage his grief, but shared it in brotherly fashion. He it was who directed the splendid funeral arranged for Rosette, to the great amazement of the whole hospital. He bought the objects the girl had taken with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the poor defunct's last and only one. He also arranged for the old furniture of Ulric's while he had been living with Rosette to be taken to a room in his new flat. It was a few days later that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such was the background of this character at the time of his entry into the rooms of the café de Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused a great stir in the assembly. The men stood up and offered the courteous greetings of worldly people. As for the women, they gazed brazenly for five minutes at the comte de Rouvres almost at a loss under the battery of their stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come, my dear defunct", said Tristan, seating Ulric in the place that had been reserved next to Fanny, "Announce with a toast your return to the world of the living". "Madam", added Tristan, indicating Fanny, immobile under her mask, "Madam will prove you right". "And you", he whispered into the young woman's ear, "Don't forget what I told you". Ulric took hold of a large glass filled to the brim and declared: "I drink ..." "Remember that political toasts are forbidden", cried Tristan. "I drink to Death", said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips, after acknowledging his masked neighbour. "And I", said Fanny, drinking in turn, "I drink to youth, to love". And like lightning ripping through a cloud, a flame of a smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Entry #18235 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.64 | 2.67 (15 ratings) | 2.60 (15 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 on whose behalf I wished to consult you | Flows well | BSchultz | |
did not try to assuage his grief | Flows well | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
shared it in brotherly fashion | Flows well | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
Don't forget what I told you | Flows well | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 a flame of a smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
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+5 1 Ulric arranged to meet three of the most renowned doctors in Paris that same evening. | Omission 'Y' (there) not translated. There's no indication of where Ulric is going to meet the doctors? | Brian Pitts | |
Ulric | Syntax Repetitive - 'He' | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +6 1 whom he had had called | Other Awkward phrasing. The double 'had' should have been avoided. | Brian Pitts | |
sirs | Other Inappropriate phrase | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
amazement | Syntax astonishment | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations slight mistranslation: racheta = bought back | BSchultz | |
+2 1 the poor defunct's | Grammar errors defunct is most often used in English as an adjective and therefore needs a noun after it. | Marian Vieyra | |
defunct's | Other Not an appropriate term in English - departed. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 while he had been living with Rosette | Syntax | BSchultz | |
in the assembly | Syntax sounds odd, like a political 'assembly'. 'among those gathered' maybe | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations 'Worldly' is an antonym of 'spiritual', 'religious', etc. | Clive Phillips | |
| Punctuation Because the phrase "almost at a loss...stares" modifies the Comte de Rouvres, it should be preceded by a comma. | BSchultz | |
+3 1 defunct | Omission dear defunct friend/one etc. Defunct is more common as an adjective in English. | Marian Vieyra | |
| At the agreed date, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric invited three of Paris' most celebrated doctors to meet him there that very evening. Then he hurried to fetch Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric came back to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, waiting for him in the company of the three doctors. "You may leave, gentlemen," Ulric told the latter. "The person on behalf of whom I wanted to consult you is no longer with us." Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to ease his pain, but shared it in a brotherly fashion. It was he who organised Rosette's magnificent funerals, astonishing everyone in the hospital. He bought back the things that the young girl had taken with her and that, after her death, had become the property of the authorities. Amongst these was the small blue dress, the only one the poor departed still owned. Under his care, Ulric's old furniture, when he was staying with Rosette, was moved into a room in his new apartment. A few days later, Ulric, intent on dying, was leaving for England. Such were this person's antecedents, as he walked into the lounges of the café de Foy. Ulric's entrance caused a big stir in the assembled crowd. Men stood up and greeted him courteously, as gentlemen do. As for women, they insolently stared at an almost embarrassed Count of Rouvres for a good five minutes, the curiosity in their eyes bordering on indiscretion. "Come on, my dear late friend," Tristan said while directing Ulric to sit down at his reserved place at Fanny's side, "let us drink to your return to the land of the living." "Madam," Tristan added, gesturing toward Fanny, immobile behind her mask, "Madam will drink with you." "And you," he murmured into the woman's ear, "do not forget my recommendation." Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: "I drink..." "Remember, political toasts will not be tolerated," Tristan shouted at him. "I drink to Death," Ulric said, bringing the glass to his lips after having saluted his masked neighbour. "And I," Fanny answered, taking a sip... "I drink to youth, to love." And, like lightning tearing apart a cloud, a fiery smile ignited under her velvet mask. | Entry #16114 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.63 | 2.63 (16 ratings) | 2.63 (16 ratings) |
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ready | Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 fetch | Other look for; find; meet with etc. | axies | |
an hour | Mistranslations not exactly one hour | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 astonishing everyone in the hospital | Syntax to the astonishment of everyone in the hospital | Marian Vieyra | |
+2 Ulric's old furniture, when he was | Other entire sentence sounds strange/ foreigner | axies | |
was leaving | Grammar errors wrong tense | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
the | Syntax no need for the article | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
As for women, they | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Come on | Inconsistencies Not appropriate to the period. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 ," Tristan said while directing Ulric to sit down at his reserved place at Fanny's side, "l | Punctuation (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''signalez par un toast.'' | axies | |
+2 1 immobile | Mistranslations with a fixed regard; motionless; | axies | |
shouted at him | Other exclaimed etc... "shouted at him" rather strong | Yvonne Gallagher No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 "I drink to Death, | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
| On the specified day, the apartment of Comte Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric arranged for three of the most renowned Parisian doctors to be present that same evening. Then he rushed off to find Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his new residence, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had invited, waiting there for him with the three doctors. 'You can leave now,' Ulric told them. 'The person I wished you to see is no longer of this world.' Tristan, alone with Comte Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain, but shared in it fraternally. It was he who organised Rosette's splendid funeral, to the great astonishment of all the hospital. He bought back all the objects that the girl had taken with her, and which, after her death, had become the board's property. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the last remaining one the poor deceased had possessed. He also undertook to transfer Ulrich's old furniture, from when the latter was living with Rosette, to a room in his new apartment. It was just a few days later when Ulric, bent on dying, departed for England. Such was the past history of this character when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulrich's arrival caused quite a commotion in the gathered assembly. All the men stood up and greeted him courteously, in a manner fitting of society. As for the women, they shamelessly stared, with indiscreet curiosity, for a five full minutes at the slightly embarrassed Compte de Rouvres . 'Come come, my dear defunct,' said Tristan, making Ulric sit in the place reserved for him next to Fanny, 'make a toast to your return to the world of the living. Madam,' added Tristan, pointing to Fanny, motionless under her mask, 'Madam will help you come to terms with it. And you,' he whispered into the ear of the young woman, 'remember what I told you to do.' Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and he exclaimed, 'I drink to,'… 'Remember that political toasts are forbidden,' Tristan shouted to him. 'I drink to Death.' said Ulric, first acknowledging his masked neighbour and then raising the glass to his lips. 'And I,' replied Fanny, also taking a sip… 'I drink to youth, to love.' And, like lightning cutting through a cloud, a passionate smile flashed beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #20738 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.60 | 2.73 (15 ratings) | 2.47 (17 ratings) |
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-1 +1 1 It was he who organised Rosette's splendid funeral, to the great astonishment of all the hospital. | Other accurate | Odette Grille (X) | |
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-3 1 an hour | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death | axies | |
| Mistranslations sent for/summoned/asked to come, as he needed him at that time | Josephine Cassar | |
-1 +1 1 with | Other together with... | axies | |
| Other Too curt, not the right register. 'may withdraw/take your leave' nearer the mark. | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations ...wished your advice/ consult you on... | axies | |
| Other doesn't sound idiomatic. We tend to use 'brotherly'. | emma mandley | |
+1 1 all | Other everyone at the hospital | J. Taylor | |
board's | Mistranslations administration, we don't know that it was something as formal as the board | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 He also undertook to transfer Ulrich's old furniture, | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
-1 +1 1 commotion | Other I suggest the word stir in this context | jrum | |
+4 1 fitting of society | Other A bit unidiomatic | magsyl | |
+2 1 they shamelessly stared, with indiscreet curiosity, for a five full minutes at the slightly embarrassed Compte de Rouvres | Mistranslations | jrum | |
-1 1 a five full minutes | Grammar errors "A" unnecessary here | magsyl | |
s . | Punctuation Extra space | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 2 defunct | Mistranslations 'defunct' needs to be followed by a noun (e.g. person or friend). | Clive Phillips | |
pointing to | Other it is impolite to point to someone-indicate by turning towards maybe | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
pointing to | Mistranslations pointing may be rude, but what does the text say? It just says that Tristan designated Fanny, so perhaps he made a gesture with his hand to indicate her. | jrum No agrees/disagrees | |
| The apartment was made ready for Count Ulric de Rouvres on the agreed day. Ulric made arrangements to meet three of the most celebrated doctors in Paris there that very evening. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died just an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new apartment, where he found his old friend Tristan, who he had sent for, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” said Ulric, addressing the doctors. “The person I wanted you to see is no longer alive.” Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not try to console his grief, but shared it in a brotherly sort of way. It was he who oversaw the magnificent funeral that was held for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back all the things that the young girl had taken with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the hospital administration. Among these things was the little blue dress, the only dress the poor late girl had left. Tristan also arranged to get Ulric’s old furniture from when he was living with Rosette moved into a room at his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, having made up his mind to die, left for England. Such was this individual’s past history when he walked into the Cafe de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir among those gathered in the salon. The men got up and greeted him courteously, as befitting society people. As for the women, they kept their eyes fixed brazenly for five minutes on the Count de Rouvres, who was uneasy under the onslaught of their inquisitive - bordering on indiscreet - looks. “Come, my dear departed,” said Tristan, getting Ulric to sit down in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “mark your return to the world of the living with a toast.” “This lady,” added Tristan pointing to Fanny, who was unmoving under her mask, “this lady will make you see reason.” “And you,” he said whispering in the young lady’s ear “do not forget my advice.” Ulric picked up a large glass that was full right to the brim, and cried out: “I drink...........” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan shouted to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, nodding to his masked neighbour then lifting the glass to his lips. “And me,” replied Fanny, taking a drink, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a lightening flash that tears through a cloud, a fiery smile ignited under her velvet mask. | Entry #21851 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.55 | 2.56 (16 ratings) | 2.53 (15 ratings) |
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uneasy under the onslaught of their inquisitive | Flows well | Yvonne Gallagher No agrees/disagrees | |
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made ready | Syntax ST doesn't infer that it was made ready (by others) | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
| Grammar errors verb error; ...ask your opinion/advice on... | axies | |
-3 +2 2 late | Mistranslations 'late girl' sounds as if she has had a gender change or has become a woman. | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
get | Grammar errors arranged to 'have' | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
they kept their eyes fixed brazenly for five minutes on the Count de Rouvres, who was uneasy under th | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 uneasy under the onslaught of their inquisitive - bordering on indiscreet - looks. | Syntax doesn't flow | Marian Vieyra | |
+3 getting Ulric to sit down | Other Could find a more elegant term than "getting" | nchomeldoe | |
| Mistranslations motionless (or similar). Unmoving is more appropriate to a resilient steadfastness. | Clive Phillips | |
+1 this lady will make you see reason.” | Mistranslations ''Madame vous fera raison'': The lady/’’Madame’’ will /toast/drink to your health.’’ Il lui a fait raison. - He toasted him. Je te fais raison. - Here's to your health | axies | |
Death | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. Ulric arranged to meet there on that same evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he rushed off to find Rosette. She had just died, one hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, for whom he had sent, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “Gentlemen, you may leave,” Ulric said to them. “The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer with us.” Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not try to ease his pain, but kept brotherly company with him. It was he who organized the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He redeemed the items that the young girl had taken with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Amongst these objects was the little blue dress, the only one that remained to the poor dead girl. Also thanks to him, Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was this character’s background story when he entered the rooms of the Foy coffee house. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir amongst those assembled. The men rose to their feet and proffered a courteous greeting, like men of the world. As for the ladies, they brazenly stared at the Count of Rouvres for five minutes, almost upsetting him with the force of their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear late friend”, said Tristan as he seated Ulric in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny. “Show that you are back in the land of the living with a toast. Madam,” added Tristan, addressing Fanny, immobile behind her mask, “Madam will make you see sense. And you,” he whispered into the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I told you.” Ulric seized a brimming glass and cried, “I drink… ”. “Don’t forget that political toasts are prohibited!” shouted Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips after saluting his masked neighbour. “And I,” replied Fanny, in her turn also drinking, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a bolt of lightning that shatters a cloud, a sparkling smile broke out beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #19949 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.52 | 2.50 (18 ratings) | 2.53 (15 ratings) |
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+1 force of their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. | Good term selection Original way to get the sense of "batterie" | magsyl | |
+2 Ulric seized a brimming glass | Good term selection Creates a vivid picture of the scene | magsyl | |
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-3 +1 2 ready | Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
| Mistranslations fetch/get, not find-she was very ill/dying so he knew where she was | Josephine Cassar | |
-3 +1 3 one hour before | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death | axies | |
-4 3 on a | Punctuation the person, | axies | |
-1 1 funeral | Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
-1 1 hospital | Omission ...staff at the... | axies | |
| Mistranslations brought... | axies | |
poor | Mistranslations dear...; unfortunate... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 dead girl. | Mistranslations dear departed | axies | |
-2 2 Also thanks to him | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
+4 1 Foy coffee house | Other Better left untranslated | magsyl | |
+1 proffered a courteous greeting, like | Mistranslations courteously addressed him as the norm/etiquete/good manners, required | axies | |
men of the world | Mistranslations society gentlemen | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
five | Other a full five minutes-stronger in ST than just for five minutes | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 late | Mistranslations late friend | axies | |
-1 1 as he seated | Mistranslations ...obliging him to seat... | axies | |
-1 1 m n | Punctuation comma | axies | |
-1 1 Show that you are back in the land of the living with a toast. | Other ''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass; My contribution is: Lets drink to your return to the land of the living. | axies | |
+1 1 immobile | Mistranslations with a fixed regard; motionless; | axies | |
+4 2 Madam will make you see sense | Mistranslations Not quite sure this is what the French really means | magsyl | |
cried | Mistranslations warned/shouted/announced | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
s | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
saluting | Spelling saluting is really only for soldiers | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation comma in wrong place | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
also | Omission ...while | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 to | Omission ...and to | axies | |
| On the set day, the apartment of the Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric sent for three of the most reputable physicians of Paris to meet him there that evening. Then he hurried to fetch Rosette. She had just died one hour ago. Ulric returned to his new place, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, and who was waiting for him along with the three physicians. “You may go now, Gentlemen,” Ulric said to them. “The person on account of whom I wanted to consult you is no more.” Tristan, having remained alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to appease his pain, but, like a brother, he shared his sorrow. He himself oversaw the magnificent funeral that was given to Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the items the young woman had carried with her, and which, upon her death, had fallen into the public treasury. Among these items was the little blue dress, the only dress that still belonged to the poor defunct. It was also Tristan who took care of transporting Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, into one room of his new apartment. It was only a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the history of this personage at the time when he entered the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused great commotion in the crowd. Gentlemen stood up and extended to him the courteous greeting of fashionable society. As to the ladies, they brazenly stared at the Count de Rouvres who felt almost embarrassed under the unveiled curiosity of their collective glance. “Come, my Dear Defunct,” Tristan said, as he motioned Ulric to the seat he had prepared for him next to Fanny, “Confirm with a toast your return into the world of the living. Madam,” Tristan added, turning towards Fanny, who remained motionless under her mask, “Madam will bring you to your senses.” “And you,” he whispered into the young woman’s ear, “do not forget my instructions.” Ulric lifted a large glass filled to the brim, and exclaimed, “I drink…” “Remember that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan said aloud. “I drink to Death,” Ulric said, bringing the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbor. “And I,” Fanny replied, also drinking … “I drink to Youth, to Love.” And as a bolt of lightning tears through the clouds, a glowing smile ignited under her velvet mask. | Entry #17342 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.51 | 2.38 (8 ratings) | 2.63 (8 ratings) |
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+1 unveiled curiosity of their collective glance | Flows well I think this is a good and idiomatic translation of what I thought was a difficult section | magsyl | |
motioned | Flows well Good | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
a glowing smile ignited | Flows well | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Inconsistencies I think this is too modern an expression in the context | magsyl | |
along with | Inconsistencies Another too modern expression, in my view | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
Gentlemen | Punctuation Should not be capitalised | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
on account of whom | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
defunct | Grammar errors Defunct is purely an adjective in English and cannot be used as a noun. Deceased/the deceased is both an adjective and a noun. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
Gentlemen | Other Needs a definite article. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
prepared | Mistranslations Not so good | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment had been prepared. Ulric arranged a meeting for that very evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran off to find Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his new lodging, where he found his old friend Tristan whom he had summoned and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You can leave now, good sirs”, Ulric informed them. “The person about whom I wished to consult you is no more”. Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not try to assuage his pain but shared it with him fraternally. It was he who arranged a magnificent funeral for Rosette, to the great surprise of the whole hospital. He purchased back the items that the young girl had brought with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among them, he found the little blue dress, the only one still owned by the unlucky dead girl. It was also thanks to him that Ulric’s old furniture from the time when he was living with Rosette was despatched to a room in his new apartment. A few days later, Ulric, who had decided to die, left for England. This is the history of the man who at that moment entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a considerable stir among the assembled company. The men rose and bowed to him in the courteous manner of fashionable people. As for the women, they boldly detained the Comte de Rouvres for five minutes who was almost embarrassed by the plethora of their stares, since they were curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed”, invited Tristan, making Ulric sit at the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “Make a toast to mark your return to the land of the living. “Madame”, added Tristan, addressing himself to Fanny who remained motionless under her mask, “Madame will agree with you”. He then whispered quietly in the young woman’s ear, “Don’t forget what I suggested to you”. Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: “I drink –“ “ Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden”, Tristan warned him. “I drink to Death”, said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after first bowing to the masked lady at his side. “And I”, replied Fanny, drinking in her turn, “I drink to youth, to love”. And like a shaft of light piercing a cloud, a flame-like smile illuminated her face under the velvet mask. | Entry #16366 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.53 (15 ratings) | 2.47 (15 ratings) |
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person about whom I wished to consult you | Flows well | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
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arranged a meeting for that very evening | Mistranslations where? translation of 'y' missing | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
for an hour | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = ...an hour or so...about an hour earlier...past the hour . | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
with the three doctors | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 2 assuage | Other Does not sound like English! "Sooth" or "ease" perhaps? | Elizabeth Slaney | |
arranged | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations la pauvre défunte - the poor dead girl | Marian Vieyra | |
It was also thanks to him | Mistranslations ''Grace à lui... isn't the same as: ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
w | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 at that moment | Mistranslations The use of the demonstrative adjective, 'that', rather than the definite article seen in the ST (the 'le' in the preposition/article contraction 'au') implies that the 'moment' in question has already been referred to previously in the text, which it hasn't. | Brian Pitts | |
for five minutes | Other it is better if you put-held for five minutes the gaze of the Comte de Rouvres who-so who is adjacent to Rouvres-a personn | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation comma in wrong place | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
invited | Mistranslations ''dit''..., said... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
o Fanny, “Make a toa | Punctuation (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation comma in wrong place | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
. | Punctuation fullstop in wrong place | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Other exclaimed | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
to Death | Mistranslations ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
bowing | Mistranslations source does tell us | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations ''je bois à la jeunesse...'' ...to the young/youthfulness and to love. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
shaft of light | Mistranslations éclair is a flash of lightning, not light. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric arranged to meet there that same evening with three of Paris's best known physicians. Then he hurried off to fetch Rosette. She had died just one hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new dwelling where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had asked to attend and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. —Gentlemen, you may withdraw, said Ulric. The person about whom I wished to consult you has departed this life. Tristan, once alone with Count Ulric, made no attempt to assuage his grief, but shared in it by doing the office of a brother. He it was who took charge of the magnificent funeral that was arranged for Rosette, to the amazement of the entire hospital. He purchased the items that the young girl had taken with her and that, after her death, had become the property of the state. Among them was the little blue dress, the only one remaining to the poor dead girl. Also thanks to his efforts, Ulric's old furniture from the time when he lived with Rosette was moved to a room in his new lodging. Just a few days later Ulric, his mind set on death, left for England. Such was the recent history of this gentleman as he entered the reception rooms at the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir among the assembled company. The men rose to their feet and greeted him courteously as befits those in polite society. As for the women, for five long minutes they boldly held Count de Rouvres almost weighed down under the assault of their gaze, their curiosity bordering on indiscretion. —Come now, my dear departed friend, said Tristan as he invited Ulric to take his seat in the place saved for him next to Fanny, give us a toast to show that you have returned to the land of the living. Madame, added Tristan, gesturing at Fanny, motionless behind her mask, Madame will tell you that is the right thing. And you, he murmured in the ear of the young woman, don’t forget what I urged upon you. Ulric raised a large brimming glass and cried out: —I drink … —Don't forget, political toasts are not allowed, called out Tristan. —I drink to Death, said Ulric, raising the glass to his lips after bowing to his masked neighbor. —And as for me, Fanny replied as she drank in her turn ... I drink to youth, I drink to love. And like a lightning bolt parting a cloud, a burning smile flared below her velvet mask. | Entry #19582 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.00 (5 ratings) | 3.00 (5 ratings) |
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— | Punctuation inverted commas required | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 in it by doing the office of a brother. | Grammar errors Bad English | Josephine Cassar | |
| Other This was the sequence of events-suggest, not recent history | Josephine Cassar | |
for five long minute | Other better if you put this after Rouvres | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
almost weighed down | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
— | Punctuation Inverted commas needed. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
give | Omission inverted commas missing | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
gesturing | Mistranslations he did not gesture but indicated her/turned towards her to point her out | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
will tell you that is the right thing | Mistranslations faire raison=drink as much as you | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
I urged upon you. | Other Not sure this is what was meant. What I advised/told you... | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric of Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric was expecting three of the most famous doctors in Paris the same evening. He hurried to find Rosette. She had died but an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called for, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You're free to leave, sirs,” Ulric said to the doctors. “The person I called you to see is no more.” Tristan, left alone with Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but rather took it on himself, like a brother. It was he who led Rosette’s splendid funeral, to the astonishment of all at the hospital. He bought back the things the young girl had taken with her, which, after her death, had become the property of the management. Among them was the little blue dress, the only one left of the poor dead girl. It was also Tristan who brought Ulric’s old furniture from when he lived with Rosette to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, having resolved to die, left for England. This was what was known of this character at the moment he entered the salon of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s entrance caused quite a stir among the party. The men rose to greet him politely like gentlemen. But the women brazenly fixed the rather embarrassed Count of Rouvres in a barrage of stares – curious to the point of indiscretion – for five minutes. “Come, my dear deceased,” said Tristan, showing Ulric to the place he had saved for him beside Fanny. “Mark your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madam,” he added, indicating Fanny, who was motionless behind her mask, “will drink your health. And you madam,” he whispered into the ear of the young woman, “do not forget what I recommended to you.” Ulric took a large glass full to the brim and declared, “I drink…” “Don’t forget political toasts are banned,” Tristan cried. “To Death,” said Ulric, putting the glass to his lips after toasting his masked neighbour. “And I,” said Fanny, sipping in turn, “drink to youth, and love.” And like a flash of lightning ripping through a cloud, a radiant smile lit up beneath the velvet of her mask. | Entry #20185 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.56 (18 ratings) | 2.44 (18 ratings) |
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| Flows well translation fits with the era of the ST | rebeccacomley | |
-1 +2 1 The person I called you to see is no more | Flows well | Clive Phillips | |
having resolved to die | Good term selection | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
brazenly fixed the rather embarrassed Count | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
motionless | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
a radiant smile lit up beneath the velvet of her mask. | Flows well | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 1 On the appointed day | | axies | |
-3 2 was ready | Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
+3 1 was expecting | Omission This provides no indication of Count Ulric arranging the meeting. | Elizabeth Slaney | |
-1 +4 1 the same evening | Omission no account taken of 'y' | rebeccacomley | |
+3 2 find | Mistranslations He surely knew where she was | Sheila Wilson | |
+3 1 took it on himself | Syntax confusing use of 'took it on himself' - could mean assumed the role of... | Marian Vieyra | |
funeral | Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
them | Mistranslations these items/objects | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 the only one left of the poor dead girl | Mistranslations I think "of" is imprecise - it needs to be spelt out that it belonged to her | magsyl | |
It was also | Mistranslations Bad choice to start translating paragraph+the fact that lacks of punctuation wich confuses the reader | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
This was what was known | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
moment | Spelling the moment that/ at the time that | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 men | Omission ...do; otherwise unfinished | axies | |
But the wome | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
b | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
curious to the point of indiscretion – for five minutes. | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
showing Ulric to the place he had saved for him | Mistranslations ...obliging him to seat... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Mark your return to the land of the living with a toast. | Mistranslations ''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass; My contribution is: Lets drink/toast to your return to the land of the living. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 what I recommended to you | Mistranslations my advice to you | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations raised | axies | |
cried | Mistranslations shouted/yelled... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
toasting | Mistranslations saluted/bowed | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
velvet of her mask | Other No need to alter French here. "Velvet mask" works just as well in English. | Elizabeth Slaney No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Having arranged for three of the most eminent doctors in Paris to come over for that same evening, Ulric rushed off to fetch Rosette. She had died just an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new home where he found his old friend Tristan, who he had sent for and who was waiting for him along with the three doctors. —You may go Sirs, Ulric said to them. The person I was hoping to see you about no longer exists. Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain, but rather shared it like a brother. It was him who would organise the impressive funeral to be held for Rosette, much to the astonishment of the entire hospital. It was him who would buy back the items that the young girl had taken with her, and which after her death had become the property of the hospital’s management board. Among these items was a little blue dress, the last one remaining to the poor dearly departed. It was even him who would ensure that Ulric’s antique furniture, from when he used to live with Rosette, would be brought back in one piece to his new apartment. It was just a few days after this that Ulric, his mind set on dying, left for England. Such was the tale of this man when he entered the salons of Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir amongst the gathering. Men jumped to their feet and welcomed him with the courteous greeting of society people. As for the women, for five minutes their eyes latched shamelessly onto the Count of Rouvres, who became almost bashful under the battery of their stares, so inquisitive as to be bordering on the churlish. — Come now, my dear deceased, said Tristan, ushering Ulric into the seat he had saved for him next to Fanny, make a toast to mark your return to the world of the living. My lady, Tristan added indicating Fanny, motionless behind her mask, my lady will also make a toast. And you, he whispered into the ear of the young woman, do not forget what I told you. Ulric raised a large glass full to the brim and declared: — I drink.... —Don’t forget that political toasts are not allowed, interjected Tristan. — I drink to Death, said Ulric raising the glass to his lips with a nod towards his masked neighbour. —And I, Fanny rejoined, drinking at her turn... I drink to youth and to love. And like a flash of lightening that tears apart a cloud, a fiery smile burst out from underneath her velvet mask. | Entry #20431 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.33 (9 ratings) | 2.67 (9 ratings) |
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+1 I was hoping to see you about | Good term selection | Paul Carroll | |
-1 Such was the tale of this man | Flows well Has the right gravitas | Meghan O'Shea | |
+1 like a flash of lightening that tears apart a cloud | Flows well | Meghan O'Shea | |
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| Grammar errors whom - especially given the time period | Marian Vieyra | |
+6 2 him who | Grammar errors he who - a translation of 19th-Century French requires 19th-Century English. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations Should be 'the' little blue dress. | Brian Pitts | |
+2 1 him | Grammar errors he-maybe also would be better than even here | Josephine Cassar | |
| On the agreed date, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres had been readied. Ulric invited three of the most renowned physicians of Paris to meet him there that very evening. He then hurried out to fetch Rosette. She had just died an hour earlier. Ulric came back to his new apartment where he found his old friend Tristan, whose presence he had requested and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. – You may leave, dear sirs, Ulric said to them. The person for whom I wanted to seek advice from you no longer exists. Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain but shared it with him, like a brother. He was the one who oversaw the magnificent funerals organised for Rosette to the astonishment of everyone at the hospital. He bought back the objects that the young woman had brought with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administrative authority. Among these items was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl still owned. Tristan also arranged for Ulric’s old furniture – from the time when he had lived with Rosette – to be moved into one of the rooms of his new apartment. A few days later, determined to die, Ulric was leaving for England. Such were the circumstances of this character when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused great bustle among the people gathered there. The men stood up and greeted him with the courteous salutation of socialites. As for the women, for five minutes, they impudently held the Count of Rouvres – almost ill at ease – under the assault of their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. – Come on, my dear departed, said Tristan inviting Ulric to sit on the seat that had been reserved for him, next to Fanny. Mark your return to the world of the living by proposing a toast. This lady, Tristan added as he gestured toward Fanny, immobile behind her mask, will drink to you in return. And you, he whispered in the young woman’s ear, don’t forget what I advised. Ulric raised a tall glass filled to the brim, and exclaimed: – I drink… – Remember that toasts about politics are not allowed, interjected Tristan. – I drink to Death, said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips after having nodded to his masked companion. – And I, replied Fanny taking a sip from her glass… I drink to youth, to love. And like lightning tears through a cloud, a fiery smile was sparked behind her velvet mask. | Entry #20473 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.41 (17 ratings) | 2.59 (17 ratings) |
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+1 they impudently held the Count of Rouvres – almost ill at ease – under the assault of their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion | Flows well | Catherine Halter | |
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+2 The person for whom I wanted to seek advice from you no longer exists. | Spelling a bit clunky | emma mandley | |
The person for whom I wanted to seek advice from you no longer exists. | Syntax | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +3 1 remaining alone | Mistranslations remaining is redundant - Tristan, alone with Count Ulric... | Marian Vieyra | |
+3 administrative authority | Mistranslations 'the administration', i.e. the hospital administration. | Clive Phillips | |
| Omission It was also thanks to Tristan; it was also Tristan who arranged-you have to bring put that had ot not been for Tristan, Ulric's old furniture would still be at Rosette's place | Josephine Cassar | |
| Other premises/rooms | axies | |
+4 1 bustle | Other not quite the right word in English. | Marian Vieyra | |
+1 salutation of socialites. | Spelling not idiomatic | emma mandley | |
-2 +1 2 I drink to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
| Punctuation comma or other | axies | |
| Grammar errors 'like' is a preposition while 'as' is a conjunction. | Clive Phillips | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was made ready. Ulric had arranged to meet three of Paris' most famous doctors there that same evening. He then ran to fetch Rosette. She had died just over an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new quarters, where he found his old friend Tristan, for whom he had sent, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. - You may leave, gentlemen, Ulric said to them. The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer alive. Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but took it on in a spirit of fraternity. It was he who led the splendid funeral service for Rosette, to the astonishment of the entire hospital. He repurchased the things which the girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these things was the little blue dress, the only one the dear departed had still owned. He also ensured that Ulric's old furniture, from the time he had lived with Rosette, was brought to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was this character’s history when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir among the crowd. The men rose and greeted him as befitted a member of high society. As for the women, they all spent five minutes gazing brazenly at the somewhat disconcerted Count Rouvres, curious to the point of indiscretion. - Come, my dear deceased, said Tristan while making Ulric sit in the seat which Fanny had reserved for him, let us toast your return to the world of the living. Madame, added Tristan, indicating Fanny, motionless under her mask, Madame will toast you. And you, he said in a low voice into the young woman's ear, do not forget what I have asked of you. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried: I drink…. - Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan shouted to him. I drink to Death, said Ulric, lifting the glass to his lips, after toasting his masked neighbour. - And I, replied Fanny, drinking in turn… I drink to youth, to love. And like lightning splintering a cloud, a radiant smile lit up her face under the velvet mask. | Entry #21688 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
Naomi Solleveld (X)Ujedinjeno Kraljevstvo Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.40 (10 ratings) | 2.60 (10 ratings) |
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+3 gazing brazenly at the somewhat disconcerted Count Rouvres, curious to the point of indiscretion | Flows well | Yvonne Gallagher | |
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+3 took it on in a spirit of fraternity | Other not the meaning in text; ungainly, not atural | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations He did not repurchase, because he had never bought them before. | thurayya | |
| Mistranslations the only one the poor dead girl had left | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +1 1 as befitted a member of high society | Mistranslations The 'salut courtois des gens du monde' relates to those greeting, not to the one greeted. | Clive Phillips | |
- | Punctuation Inverted commas are required for speech in English. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 Fanny had reserved for him | Mistranslations Fanny did not reserve the place for him | thurayya | |
| On the appointed date, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was made ready. Ulric had arranged a meeting for that very evening with three of the most renowned doctors in Paris. Then, he ran to seek Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new residence, where he found his old friend, Tristan, whom he had sent for, now awaiting him with the three doctors. "You may excuse yourselves, sirs," said Ulric to the doctors. "The individual for whom I sought your consultation no longer exists." Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not seek to ease his pain, but shared his grief as a brother. It was he who organized the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the items that the young girl had brought with her and which, after her death, had become property of the administration. Among those objects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. He, too, ensured that Ulric's former furniture, from his time living with Rosette, was transported to a room in his new apartment. It was only a few days later that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. These were the events leading up to the moment that this character entered the salons of the Foy Cafe. Ulric's arrival caused a great movement through the crowd. The men stood and addressed him with the courteous greetings of society gentlemen. As for the women, they brazenly held the nearly-embarrassed Count of Rouvres under the assault of their gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come, my dearly departed," said Tristan, bringing Ulric to the seat that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, "salute your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame," he added, motioning to Fanny, who was motionless under her mask, "Madame will drink to your health. And you," he said softly in the ear of the young lady, "don't forget what I told you." Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and cried, "I drink..." "Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden," cried Tristan. "I drink to Death," said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips after raising it to his masked neighbor. "And I," replied Fanny, drinking in turn, "I drink to youth, to love." And like a lightning bolt tearing apart a cloud, a flaming smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Entry #16042 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.46 | 2.38 (13 ratings) | 2.54 (13 ratings) |
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+1 did not seek to ease his pain | Flows well | JanaW (X) | |
It was only a few days later that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England | Flows well | Gillian Shaw (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 25 "dislike" tags
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seek | Spelling find | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 awaiting him with the three doctors. | Mistranslations ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
| Mistranslations the meaning is that there was no more need for them | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 1 exists | Mistranslations my preference would be for a less cold/unfeeling choice, perhaps 'is no longer alive'. | Gillian Shaw (X) | |
He, too | Spelling "He, too" leads one to believe that there were others who also arranged for the furniture (etc etc). I would just say He also | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
ensured that | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 Foy Cafe | Mistranslations + spelling-café- better left as it is in text as proper name | Josephine Cassar | |
+3 2 great movement | Other Too literal a translation. Sounds a bit unnatural in English. | Brian Pitts | |
+1 As for the women, they brazenly held the nearly-embarrassed Count of Rouvres under the assault of their gazes, curious to the point of | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies | |
nearly-embarrassed | Grammar errors no hyphen with words ending in 'ly' | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations ...obliging him to seat... | axies | |
o the seat that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, "salute your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame," | Spelling (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 will drink to your health | Mistranslations not the meaning of 'faire raison' | Josephine Cassar | |
to Death | Mistranslations ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations youthfulness | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartments of Count Ulric of Rouvres were prepared. Ulric arranged to meet that very evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to find Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had had summoned, and who had been waiting with the three doctors. "Gentlemen, you may depart," Ulric told them. "The woman for whom I wished to consult you no longer exists." Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not try to calm his grief, but to share in it in a brotherly fashion. It was he who arranged for the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back the possessions which the young woman had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was found a little blue dress, the only one which remained to the poor dead girl. It was also through his care that Ulric's former furnishings, from the time when he lived with Rosette, were transported to a room in his new lodgings. It was a few days after that that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such was the history of this individual at the moment when he entered the rooms of the cafe de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great commotion in those assembled. The men rose and greeted him courteously in the manner of society people. As for the women, they held out shamelessly for five minutes,the Count of Rouvres almost embarrassed under the battery of their gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion. "All right, my dear departed," said Tristan, directing Ulric to sit in the place which had been reserved for him near Fanny, "Announce, with a toast, your return to the world of the living. This woman," Tristan added, indicating Fanny, motionless under her mask, "This woman will match you drink for drink. And you," he said very low in the young woman's ear "don't forget what I have advised". Ulric grasped a large glass filled almost to the brim and exclaimed: "I drink to..." "Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden!" Tristan cried out. "I drink to death," said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after having saluted his masked neighbor. "And I," responded Fanny, drinking in turn, "...I drink to youth, and to love,". And like a flash of lightning that tears apart a cloud, a flaming smile illuminated her velvet mask. | Entry #16531 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.45 | 2.40 (15 ratings) | 2.50 (14 ratings) |
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The men rose and greeted him courteously in the manner of society people. | Flows well | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 9 users entered 24 "dislike" tags
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to meet | Mistranslations to meet 'there' | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
n hou | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death ...depuis une heure. = une heure pasée = ...an hour or so...about an hour...past the/one hour . | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other ...waiting for him, along with the three doctors/physicians. ‘’with the three doctors’’ sounds odd to me. | axies | |
| Mistranslations "La personne" in the ST, though a feminine noun, does not convey the gender of the person it refers to. | Brian Pitts | |
| Mistranslations The of use of the infinitive here suggests that this phrase is, like the preceding 'to calm', a complement of 'try', i.e. a thing that Tristan 'tried' to do. The ST makes it clear this was something Tristan actually did – 'il s'y associa'. | Brian Pitts | |
n i | Other "but to empathize.." | Cayla18 No agrees/disagrees | |
for | Spelling superfluous | Cayla18 No agrees/disagrees | |
a | Mistranslations 'the'. This is important as the dress is referred to earlier in the story. | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
through his care that | Other Sounds awkward and unnatural; too heavily influenced by the ST vocabulary perhaps (particularly the word 'soins'). | Brian Pitts No agrees/disagrees | |
As for the women, they held out shamelessly for five minutes,the Count | Mistranslations Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 This woman will match you drink for drink. | Mistranslations 'will respond in kind' or similar. | Clive Phillips | |
flaming smile | Mistranslations Not English. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the prearranged day, Count Ulric of Rouvres' apartment had been prepared. Ulric invited three of the most famous doctors in Paris to attend there that same evening. He then hurried off to find Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he'd sent for and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may leave, gentlemen," Ulric said to them. "The person I wished to consult you about is no longer with us." Tristan, left alone with count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but shared in his grief as a brother would. It was he who led the splendid funeral service held for Rosette, to the great astonishment of all at the hospital. And it was he who purchased back the items the young woman had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Amongst these objects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased woman had remaining. He also ensured that Ulric's old furniture, from the time he lived with Rosette, was transported to a room in his new apartment. It was just a few days after this that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such were the recent experiences of this figure at the moment he entered the salons at the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a commotion amongst those gathered there. The men stood up and acknowledged him, in the courteous way that society people do. As for the women, they brazenly stared at the Count of Rouvres – who was practically embarrassed before their gaze – for almost five minutes, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come now my dearly deceased," said Tristan, seating Ulric at the place reserved for him next to Fanny, "signal your return to the world of the living with a toast." "Madame..." said Tristan, addressing Fanny, motionless behind her mask, "Madame will reciprocate." "And you," he said very quietly to the young woman's ear, "don't forget what I advised you." Ulric picked up a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed: "To..." "Don't forget that political toasts are prohibited," Tristan said to him loudly. "To death," said Ulric, raising his glass to his lips, after nodding towards his masked neighbour. "And I," responded Fanny, taking a drink in turn, "I drink to youth, to love." And like a fork of lightening splitting a cloud, a flaming smile flashed to life beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21811 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.44 | 2.44 (9 ratings) | 2.44 (9 ratings) |
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shared in his grief as a brother would | Flows well | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 1 prepared | Omission prepared for what? Readers want to know this | axies | |
invited | Mistranslations received; welcome; | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
to attend there | Other obsolete for this translation/phrase | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
an hour | Mistranslations no precise time is known of her death | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
woman | Mistranslations girl or woman, we are not told! ''un pauvre défunte'' | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
had remaining | Other gives the idea that only the blue dress is remaining and therefore could not be others in the deceased wardrobe. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
He also ensured | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge of...responsible for the... at his charge was... etc | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
decided | Other too strong a word. Determined/opting to die, having thoughts, the idea etc. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
experiences | Mistranslations Such was the background/history/past | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
salons | Other premises; rooms; | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation dash, as you used a dash before 'for' and sentence does not end there, so it needs another dash | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 2 my dearly deceased | Other confuses 'dearly departed' and 'recently deceased'. | Marian Vieyra | |
," said Tristan, seating Ulric at the place reserved for him next to Fanny, "signal your retu | Mistranslations (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
"To death, | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
rn, " | Punctuation | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
a fork | Mistranslations ray, flash | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was made ready. He summoned three of the most renowned physicians in Paris to appear there the same evening. Then he hurried off to find Rosette. She had passed away just one hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new home to find his old friend Tristan, whom he had had called over, waiting for him with the three physicians. - Gentlemen, you may take your leave, Ulric said to them. The person I wished to consult you about, is no longer of this world. Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, made no attempt to soothe his anguish but offered practical brotherly support. He it was who organised a splendid funeral for Rosette, to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He purchased the articles the young girl had brought with her, which on her death had become the property of the management. Among them was that little blue dress, the only one remaining in the possession of the poor deceased girl. He also arranged for Ulric’s furniture from the time when he had lived with Rosette, to be conveyed to a room in his new apartment. It was but a few days later that Ulric, his mind made up to die, left for England. These, then, had been the nature of his experiences over the last few days, as he entered the rooms of the Café de Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion in the gathering. The men rose to and greet him with the courteous salutation of society people. The women, exhibiting a curiosity bordering on indiscretion, boldly stared for five full minutes at Count de Rouvres, almost embarrassed under the heavy weight of their gaze. - Come, my dear departed friend, Tristan said as he sat Ulric down at the place which had been reserved next to Fanny, propose a toast to demonstrate your return to the world of the living. Madam, said Tristan indicating Fanny motionless beneath her mask, will reciprocate by lifting her glass to you. And, he whispered in the young woman’s ear, don’t forget what I recommended. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: - I drink.... - Don’t forget political toasts are prohibited, cried Tristan. - I drink to Death, said Ulric as he brought the glass to his lips, having toasted the health of the masked woman alongside him. - But I, responded Fanny, lifting her glass in similar fashion, ...I drink to youth, to love. And like a shaft of lightning piercing a cloud, a flash of a smile ignited behind her velvet mask. | Entry #15724 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.43 | 2.43 (7 ratings) | 2.43 (7 ratings) |
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was made ready | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
renowned | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
you may take your leave | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 his mind made up to die | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 exhibiting a curiosity bordering on indiscretion | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 prohibited | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
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summoned | Mistranslations received/welcome | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
there | Spelling obsolete | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 2 find | Other I feel that this implies that he wasn't entirely sure where she was. | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 whom he had had called over | Syntax heavy construction in English | Elizabeth Slaney | |
of this world. | Other on this earth. not sure about world as an idiomatic expression | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
He it was | Syntax | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
funeral | Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
whole hospital | Omission staff at the... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
purchased | Mistranslations repurchased really! | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
that | Mistranslations why change the definite article? | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 He also arranged for Ulric’s furniture from the time when he had lived with Rosette, to be conveyed to a room in his new apartment | Syntax needs a comma after furniture | Elizabeth Slaney | |
the nature of his experiences | Mistranslations not in the ST. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 over the last few days | Inconsistencies This is more specific than the source text, and doesn't necessarily make sense; how long was he in England? | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Syntax probably just a typo | Laura Nagle (X) | |
The women, exhibiting a curiosity bordering on indiscretion, boldly stare | Punctuation Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Fanny, propose a | Punctuation failed to see lack of punct. (2 parag.not 1): ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 Madam, said Tristan indicating Fanny motionless beneath her mask, will reciprocate by lifting her glass to you. And, he whispered in the young woman’s ear, don’t forget what I recommended. | Punctuation lack of punctuation indicating dialogue | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
having toasted the health | Mistranslations This seems to be presuming something that I don't see in the source text. | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric's apartment was ready. Ulric had invited Paris’ three most distinguished doctors for that same evening. He then raced to fetch Rosette. She had just passed away an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new apartment. His old friend Tristan, whom he had invited, and the doctors were there waiting for him. —“You may leave gentlemen”, announced Ulric to his guests. “The person for whom I required your consultation is no longer with us.” Tristan chose to say by his friend’s side, not in an attempt to ease his pain but instead in a show of companionship. To the astonishment of the whole hospital, it was he who presided over Rosette’s magnificent funeral. He repurchased the items the young woman had brought with her, which the administration could reclaim following her demise. Among these items lay a small blue dress, the only one the poor soul had left in her possession. Also under his care, Ulric's old furnishings, while living with Rosette, were moved to a room in his new dwelling. It was a few days later, after Ulric decided he no longer wished to go on living, that he left for England. Such was this man's past as he entered the parlour of the café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused quite a stir among the gathering. The men rose and greeted him with a courteous bow, the kind reserved for worldly people. As for the women, they stared brazenly for five minutes at the count of Rouvres who felt almost embarrassed by their display of curious indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed one”, said Tristan while showing Ulric to the seat reserved for him at Fanny’s side, “make a toast to your return to the land of the living.” “Madame will respond in kind”, Tristan added turning his attention to Fanny who remained motionless under her mask. “And you”, he whispered in the ear of the young woman, “remember my counsel.” Ulric lifted a glass filled to the rim, and shouted: —“I drink... —“Be mindful my friend, toasts of a political nature are prohibited”, shouted Tristan. —“I drink to Death”, pronounced Ulric bowing to the masked woman seated at his side, then raising the glass to his lips. —“As for me”, countered Fanny who in turn raised her glass... “I drink to youth and to love.” A smile flashed under her velvet mask, like lightning tearing through a cloud. | Entry #16946 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
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Entry | 2.40 | 2.40 (5 ratings) | 2.40 (5 ratings) |
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counsel. | Flows well A good choice, I think, for this | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
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Count Ulric's | Omission Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment | Elizabeth Slaney No agrees/disagrees | |
three most distinguished doctors | Mistranslations three of Paris' most distinguished doctors | Elizabeth Slaney No agrees/disagrees | |
parlour | Mistranslations Sounds like a domestic, not public setting | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 rim | Other Strictly accurate, but an odd collocation in English | magsyl | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s apartment was made ready. Ulric arranged to meet three of the most renowned doctors in Paris there that very evening. Then he ran in search of Rosette. She had died just an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new residence, where he found his old friend Tristan, for whom he had sent, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. —You can leave, gentlemen, Ulric told them. The person for whom I required a consultation is no longer alive. Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to allay his grief, but instead shared it in a brotherly fashion. It was he who took charge of the grand funeral that was organised for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the items that the young girl had taken with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the state. Amongst these items was the little blue dress, the only one that the poor deceased girl had left. Moreover, he took it upon himself to have the furniture previously used by Ulric, whilst living with Rosette, transported to a room in his new apartment. It was only a few days after this that Ulric, having resolved to die, was departing to England. Such was the history of this person at the time when he entered the salons of the "Café de Foy". Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir amongst the assembled group. The men stood up and greeted him in the courteous manner of society people. As for the women, they stood brazenly for five minutes, the Count of Rouvres almost disconcerted by the barrage of their stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. —Come on, my dear deceased one, said Tristan making Ulric sit down in the seat which had been reserved for him close to Fanny, announce your return to the land of the living with a toast. This good lady, added Tristan in the direction of Fanny, motionless behind her mask, this good lady will drink to your health. And you, he murmered in the ear of the young woman, do not forget that I recommended you. Ulric grasped a large glass full to the brim and exclaimed: —I shall drink.... —Do not forget that political toasts are prohibited, shouted Tristan. —I shall drink to Death, said Ulric holding the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbour. —And I, responded Fanny, in turn taking a sip... I shall drink to youth, to love. And like a flash of lightning ripping a cloud apart, a burning smile lit up behind her velvet mask. | Entry #19585 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.40 | 2.43 (14 ratings) | 2.36 (14 ratings) |
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+1 shared it in a brotherly fashion | Good term selection | BSchultz | |
-1 +1 1 he took it upon himself | Flows well | BSchultz | |
+1 in the courteous manner of society people. | Flows well | emma mandley | |
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t | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 with the three doctors. | Mistranslations ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies | |
It was he who | Other To avoid ambiguity and to lighten the sentence, perhaps simply "Tristan..." | Nikki Scott-Despaigne No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 state | Mistranslations administration (of the hospital, not the country) | BSchultz | |
"Café de Foy" | Punctuation Foreign terms compulsory as proper nouns, but in italics not in inverted commas | Nikki Scott-Despaigne No agrees/disagrees | |
. As for the women, they | Other one sentence : "...whereas the women held X ..." | Nikki Scott-Despaigne No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 they stood | Mistranslations Seems unlikely that they would have been standing | emma mandley | |
| Mistranslations Come, my dear... Come along my dear... 'Come on' is too modern. | Marian Vieyra | |
my dear deceased one, said Tristan making Ulric sit down in the seat which had been reserved for him close to Fanny, announc | Mistranslations (Three (3) paragraphs in one(1)). 1:- —‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé!’’2:- Dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny 3:-''Signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass;: ''Lets drink/toast to your return to | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
announce | Punctuation inverted commas for speech | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 will drink to your health | Mistranslations not the meaning of faire la raison | Josephine Cassar | |
shall | Grammar errors Future tense not appropriate for a toast : simple present | Nikki Scott-Despaigne No agrees/disagrees | |
to Death | Mistranslations ‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
in turn taking a sip | Mistranslations taking a sip in turn... | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Grammar errors ...to the young/youthfulness and to love. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, arrangements were made at the rooms of Count Ulric de Rouvres. Ulric invited three of the most eminent doctors in Paris to join him there that very same evening. He then hastened to collect Rosette. She had been dead but an hour. Ulric returned to his new quarters, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, and who was awaiting him together with the three doctors. "Gentlemen, I give you leave to depart," Ulric stated. "The person on whose behalf I wished to consult with you is no longer of this earth." Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan made no efforts to assuage his pain, but rather empathised with him in a brotherly fashion. To the astonishment of all at the infirmary, it was Tristan who oversaw the lavish obsequies in honour of Rosette. He redeemed what belongings the young girl had taken with her, and which following her death had become the property of the administration. Amongst these effects was the small blue dress, the only one remaining unto the poor deceased girl. Furthermore, he presided over the delivery of Ulrich's old furnishings, from when he had resided with Rosette, to a room in his new chambers. It was a mere few days later that Ulric, his mind resolutely set on dying, was to leave for England. Such were the circumstances of this individual on the occasion of his entering the salons at the Café de Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused an incredible flurry amongst those assembled there. The men arose and greeted him courteously, befitting the social mores. As for the women, they unabashedly stood by for a full five minutes, curious to the point of indiscretion, with the Count de Rouvres on the verge of feeling self-conscious under the barrage of scrutiny. "Come, my dear lifeless friend," said Tristan, seating Ulric in the chair which Fanny had appropriated for him. "Make a toast to your return to the world of the living. Madam," added Tristan, indicating towards Fanny, quiescent under her mask, "Madam will raise a glass to your health. And you," he whispered in the ear of the young woman, "do not forget what I proposed." Ulric took a large glass filled to brim and exclaimed, "I drink..." "Let me remind you that toasts of a political nature are prohibited," cried Tristan. "I drink to Death," uttered Ulric in lifting the glass to his lips, having just tipped it in acknowledgement to his masked neighbour. "As for me," replied Fanny, swallowing in turn, "I drink to youth and to love." And just as a bolt of lightning rips through a cloud, the flame of a smile flared up beneath her velvet guise. | Entry #21491 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.40 | 2.40 (5 ratings) | 2.40 (5 ratings) |
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chambers | Other This, unlike a couple of the other choices, does seem to fit the 19th century context | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 quiescent | Flows well A good and original alternative to "motionless" | magsyl | |
- 5 users entered 24 "dislike" tags
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+1 1 arrangements were made at the rooms of Count Ulric de Rouvres. | Mistranslations the room was ready-the arrangements were made to meet in the room which was ready when they had to meet-omission too | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 1 with | Other "Consult with you" is a 20th century Americanism, not appropriate in this context | magsyl | |
empathised | Other Another term that seems out of place in a 19th century text | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
infirmary | Mistranslations hôpital is not necessarily an infirmary at all here, it could even be a poor house. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
remaining unto | Other "remaining unto" is really 17th century in style, no need to go back further than the 19th I think. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
furnishings | Mistranslations furniture | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 mere few | Grammar errors mere or few; either one or the other-same meaning, repetition | Josephine Cassar | |
on the occasion of | Other This seems excessively formal and flowery. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 stood by | Mistranslations Ther is nothing to suggest the women are standing. | Clive Phillips | |
on the verge of feeling self-conscious | Spelling almost embarrassed - Either he was or was not self-conscious: not a state that one can be on the verge of. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 my dear lifeless friend | Mistranslations a very strange expression to read in English | Sheila Wilson | |
+1 1 Fanny had appropriated for him | Mistranslations Tristan had reserved the chair for him next to Fanny, not Fanny | Josephine Cassar | |
quiescent | Mistranslations Not a correct translation of "immobile" | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
will raise a glass to your health | Mistranslations "vous fera raison" = will support you/stand up for you | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
uttered | Other A bit awkward in the context | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
c in | Grammar errors + punctuation-comma after Ulric, lifting | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
tipped it | Mistranslations He saluted Fanny, but had he tipped the glass, which was full to the brim, she would have been soaked! | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other I think a sip or a drink would sound more ladylike and less physical | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations An interesting variation, but I think the straightforward translation is better here | magsyl | |
| When the day came, Count Ulric of Rouvres’ apartment was ready. Ulric was expecting three of the most respected doctors of Paris that very evening. Then he went to find Rosette. She had died only one hour ago. Ulric returned to his new apartment, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, waiting with the three doctors. “Gentlemen, you may leave,” said Ulric to his guests. “The person about whom I wanted to consult you has passed on.” Tristan, who stayed with Count Ulric, did not try to calm his pain, but faced it as a brother. It was he who had ordered the splendid funeral service for Rosette, to the shock of the entire hospital. He had bought all the objects that the young woman had brought with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among them was the small blue dress, the only one that remained of the dearly departed. For his troubles as well, Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. It was only a few days later that Ulric, bereft of the desire to live, decided to leave for England. Such was the history of this character at the moment at which he entered the salons of the café du Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused great commotion in the assembled group. The men got up and greeted him with the courteous salute of worldly men. As for the women, curious to the point of indiscretion, they brazenly held the Count of Rouvres under the fire of their gazes for five minutes, leaving him almost disconcerted. “All right, my dearly departed,” said Tristan as he sat Ulric in the place reserved for him by Fanny, “give us a toast to celebrate your return to the world of the living. This woman here,” Tristan added, gesturing toward Fanny, motionless under her mask, “will drink with you.” He lowered his voice as he whispered into her ear, “And don’t forget that it was I who recommended you.” Ulric lifted a large glass filled to the brim and cried: “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden!” Tristan interjected. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, bringing his glass to his lips after raising it to his masked neighbor. “And I,” responded Fanny, drinking in turn, “… I drink to youth, to love.” And like a strike of lightening, a smile sparked under her velvet mask. | Entry #21821 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.40 | 2.50 (8 ratings) | 2.29 (7 ratings) |
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+1 under the fire of their gazes | Flows well Good solution | magsyl | |
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| Spelling earlier, here he is not talking but relating what happened in the past | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations he shared Ulric's pain is more the idea | Marian Vieyra | |
shock | Mistranslations surprise or amazement rather than shock | Jane F No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 For his troubles as well | Mistranslations This should be something like "by his efforts" | magsyl | |
| Other Is this because of a 21st century unwillingness to say "lady"? It seems a bit inappropriate in the context. | magsyl | |
+2 1 it was I who recommended you | Mistranslations "What I recommended/advised"? | magsyl | |
| Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready on the allotted day. Ulric made an appointment to meet three of Paris's most famous physicians there that very evening, and then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died one hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may leave, gentlemen," Ulric told the latter. "The person for whom I wished to consult you is no more." Tristan, left alone with count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain but shared it like a brother would. To the astonishment of the whole hospital it was he who organised Rosette's grand funeral. He bought back the objects that the young woman had taken with her and which, after her death, had become Board property. One of these items was the little blue gown, the only dress the poor departed soul had left. He also brought the furniture Ulric had when he dwelt with Rosette to a room in the new lodgings. Only a few days later, Ulric, who had decided to die, was leaving for England. Such was this person's history when he entered the rooms of Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great commotion amongst the assembly. Gentlemen stood up and greeted him courteously as an equal. As for the women, curious to the point of indiscretion, they blatantly stared for five minutes at a somewhat embarrassed count of Rouvres. "So, my dear defunct," said Tristan, seating Ulric in the chair reserved for him near Fanny, "propose a toast to mark your return to the land of the living”. "This lady," added Tristan, indicating a Fanny motionless beneath her mask, "will give you reason". "And as for you," he whispered to the young woman, "don't forget what I recommended." Ulric picked up a large glass filled to overflowing and exclaimed: "I drink to ..." "Remember political toasts are banned," cried Tristan. "I drink to Death,” said Ulric, bringing the cup to his lips, after paying his respects to the masked woman. "And I," replied Fanny, drinking at her turn, "drink to youth and love." And like lightning ripping a cloud, a flaming smile flashed from beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21767 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.37 | 2.43 (14 ratings) | 2.31 (13 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
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| Mistranslations this is ambiguous and time and Ulrich order of movements and actions are unclear. | axies | |
one | Syntax too precise. 'an hour' would be better | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
with the three doctors. | Other ''with the three doctors'' doesn’t sound totally correct. I would translate this as: ... along with... in the company of... together with the three doctors/physicians etc,. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
the latter | Syntax them | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors Count is a title and, as such, requires a capital C | Elizabeth Slaney | |
| Mistranslations ...the Board's property; if Board is correct. | axies | |
gown | Spelling dress | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
dress | Syntax one | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 brought | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge/charged of...responsible for the... at his charge was | axies | |
+1 greeted him courteously as an equal. | Mistranslations Overtranslation. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Syntax Don't think 'a Fanny' sounds quite right here..... | emma mandley | |
to Death | Mistranslations ’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Doesn’t seem/sound right in English. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations youthfulness... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready for occupancy on the move-in date. Ulric invited three of the top doctors in Paris to meet him there in the evening. He then rushed to Rosette's bedside. She had just died an hour before he arrived. Ulric returned to his new residence where the three doctors were waiting for him. His old friend Tristan whom he was expecting was also there. "Gentlemen, you don't have to stay," Ulric said to them. "The person I wanted you to see has just passed away." Tristan remained alone with Count Ulric. He did not try to ease his friend's pain, but chose to comfort him like a brother. It was indeed Tristan who directed Rosette's beautiful funeral service to the surprise of the entire hospital. He retrieved the young girl's possessions that had been confiscated by the state after her death. A small blue dress, the only keepsake of the poor demoiselle, was among those items. Tristan was also responsible for moving Ulrich and Rosette's antique furniture from their previous dwelling into a room of the new apartment. Determined to end his life, Ulrich departed for England a few days later. Such were the events in the life of the Count leading up to his entrance into the drawing rooms of Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused quite a commotion among those present. The men stood up and greeted him. The women, on the other hand, stared blatantly at Count de Rouvres for five minutes. He was slightly blushing under their relentless scrutiny ranging from curiosity to indiscretion. "Let's celebrate, my dearly departed," said Tristan while showing Ulric a seat reserved for him next to Fanny. "Offer a toast for your return to the land of the living." "Madame will drink to your health," added Tristan by pointing to Fanny, motionless under her mask. "And you," he whispered in the young woman's ear, "do not forget what I told you." Ulric raised a large glass filled to the brim and shouted, "I drink to..." "Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden," Tristan interrupted him in a loud voice. "I drink to Death," said Ulric extending a gesture to the masked lady next to him before bringing the glass to his own lips. "As for me," Fanny replied while raising her glass in turn... "I drink to youth, to love." And like a bolt of lightning tearing through a cloud, a smile flickered like a flame under her velvet mask. | Entry #21289 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.36 | 2.50 (10 ratings) | 2.22 (9 ratings) |
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+5 2 occupancy on the move-in date | Mistranslations Sounds like an estate agent speaking. ST doesn't mention dates or occupancy. | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +2 2 confiscated | Mistranslations it belonged to the administration, so it had to be returned | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations The - important in the context of the story. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations It was the only thing that really belonged to her, not a keepsake | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations the furniture belonged to Ulrich only, not to Rosette too | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 from their previous dwelling | Mistranslations from the time that he had lived with Rosette | Josephine Cassar | |
end his life | Mistranslations 'Determined to die'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 in the life of the Count leading up to his entrance | Other Sentence structure | Josephine Cassar | |
-1 +1 will drink to your health | Mistranslations not the meaning of faire raison | Josephine Cassar | |
by | Mistranslations 'by' is redundant | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric arranged for three of the most famous doctors in Paris to meet there that very evening. Then he rushed out to get Rosette.. She had died just an hour ago. Ulric had sent word to his old friend Tristan and when he came back to his new home, he found him waiting there with the three doctors. —You may take your leave, gentlemen, Ulric told them. The person I wished you to examine is no longer alive. Once alone with Count Ulric,Tristan did not try to comfort him, offering instead what might be termed his brotherly support. He organized a splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the things that the girl had brought with her, and which had become the property of the administration after her death. Among them was the little blue dress, the only one still belonging to the poor dead girl. And he had Ulric's furniture moved from the place he had shared with Rosette and put in one of the rooms in his new apartment. This was shortly after Ulric had left for England with the intention of ending his own life. Such was the past history of this protagonist when he entered the rooms of the café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused great commotion among the assembly. The men rose and greeted him with the good manners of people of the best society. As for the ladies, they brazenly watched the Comte de Rouvres, who was almost embarrassed by a collective gaze curious to the point of indiscretion. Come on dearly departed one, said Tristan as he made Ulric take the seat he had saved for him beside Fanny. Announce your return to the land of the living with a toast. Madame, Tristan added motioning to Fanny, immobile under her mask, madame will put you right. And you, he whispered in the young woman's ear, don't forget what I told you. Ulric took a large glass filled to the rim and cried: —I drink… —Don't forget that political toasts are not allowed, Tristan called out. —I drink to death, Ulric said lifting the glass to his lips, after bowing to the masked lady beside him. —And I, replied Fanny as she also drank…I drink to youth, and to love. And like the lightning that rips open a cloud, a smile burned bright under her velvet mask. | Entry #17872 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.35 | 2.44 (16 ratings) | 2.25 (16 ratings) |
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+1 Ulric had sent word to his old friend Tristan | Flows well good solution | emma mandley | |
| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
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-2 2 just an hour ago. | Spelling time too precise. No precise time is known of her death | axies | |
-1 +1 1 He organized a splendid funeral for Rosette | Mistranslations According to the ST, the astonishment was because HE was the person who arranged the funeral. | B D Finch | |
-1 1 them | Mistranslations ...these items/objects | axies | |
the place | Mistranslations The ST refers to the time, not the place. The furniture might have been moved from storage, rather than their previous lodgings. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 This was shortly after Ulric had left for England | Mistranslations This is not what the ST says. | Brian Pitts | |
-2 +2 2 ending his own life | Mistranslations Suicide is not suggested. | Clive Phillips | |
protagonist | Mistranslations not really what ST says and too stilted | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 2 best society | Mistranslations "du monde" - No "best". | B D Finch | |
+1 As for the ladies, they brazenly watched the Comte de Rouvres, who was almost embarrassed by a collective gaze curious to the point of indiscretion. | Other Two English sentences 1- As for the women they, shamelessly, stared at the Count de Rouvres for a good five minutes; 2 - The Count de Rouvres... curious to the point of indiscretion. | axies | |
Comte | Inconsistencies previously translated as Count | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 1 Come on dearly departed one | Punctuation As with other phrases in this paragraph, this is direct speech and should be punctuated as such. | Brian Pitts | |
+1 1 he had | Mistranslations This is impersonal and passive voice in the ST. | B D Finch | |
Madame | Spelling If the ST spelling is retained it should be italicised | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 madame will put you right | Mistranslations Not the sense of the ST. | Brian Pitts | |
| Punctuation Death with capital "D". | B D Finch | |
bowing | Mistranslations Difficult to "bow" while seated! | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
also | Mistranslations "à son tour" doesn't mean "also". | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was made ready. Ulric had arranged a meeting there that very evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died just the hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” Ulric said. “The person whom I had wished for you to consult is no longer.” Left alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not attempt to assuage his grief, but kept company with him as a brother. It was he who arranged the magnificent funeral for Rosette, to the great surprise of the entire hospital. He repurchased the things that the girl had brought with her, which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among those items were the little blue dress, the only one left to the poor soul. It was through his care, too, that the old furniture belonging to Ulric from the time he lived with Rosette was placed in a room of the new apartment. It was only a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, would leave for England. Such were the circumstances of that distinguished person prior to entering the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir among those gathered. The men rose and addressed him with a polite greeting befitting men of the world. As for the women, five minutes long they brazenly locked their eyes – curious to the point of indiscretion – on the Count de Rouvres, who was nearly embarrassed himself by their collective stares. “Come, my dearly departed,” Tristan said while seating Ulric in the place that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “let’s raise a toast to mark your return to the land of the living. And, madam,” added Tristan, indicating Fanny, sitting motioness beneath her mask, “madam will give you the motive. You,” he said, whispering in the ear of the young lady, “remember what I suggested.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I drink...” “Remember, political toasts are not permitted!” Tristan shouted out to him. “I drink to death,” said Ulric, raising his glass to his lips after having saluted his masked neighbour. “And I,” responded Fanny, when it came her turn, “... I drink to youth, to love.” And like a bolt of lightning ripping through a cloud, a smile afire lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21322 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.33 | 2.33 (6 ratings) | 2.33 (6 ratings) |
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determined to die | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
collective stares | Good term selection | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
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whom I had wished for you to consult | Mistranslations Should be: The person about whom I wished to consult you. Also wrong tense - 'wished' not 'had wished'. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations is no more OR is no longer with us. | Marian Vieyra | |
Left alone | Mistranslations alone, not left alone. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
repurchased | Other "bought back" would be more colloquial | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
distinguished person | Mistranslations person, personage or character | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
ive minutes long they brazenly locked their eyes | Grammar errors sentence needs tuning round | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
death | Mistranslations Capital D required | Jennifer Byers No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was prepared. There, Ulric held a meeting that same evening with three of the most famous doctors of Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had died just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, and who was waiting with the three doctors. "You may depart, sirs", said Ulric to the latter. "The person on whose behalf I wished to consult you no longer exists." Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to calm his sorrow, but instead shared in it in a brotherly manner. It was he who directed the magnificent funeral which was celebrated for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He repurchased the objects that the girl had brought with her, which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these was the small blue dress, the only one that remained to the poor deceased. It was also by Tristan's cares that Ulric's ancient furniture, while he remained with Rosette, had been moved into a room of his new apartment. It was a few days afterwards that Ulric, who had determined to die, left for England. Such was the history of this character at the moment when he entered Foy's coffee rooms. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion among the assembly. The men rose to their feet and addressed him with the courteous salutations of gentlemen of the world. As for the women, they boldly held the count of Rouvres, who was almost embarrased, under the full force of their stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come, my dear departed," said Tristan, helping Ulric to seat himself in the place which had been reserved for him near Fanny. "Give us a toast to mark your return to the world of the living. This lady," added Tristan while indicating Fanny, motionless beneath her mask, "this lady will join you." "As for you," he said very quietly into the ear of the young woman, "do not forget what I have told you." Ulric raised a large glass full to the brim, and cried out: "I drink ..." "Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden!" shouted Tristan to him. "I drink to Death," said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips, after having saluted the masked woman beside him. "And I," replied Fanny, drinking in her turn, "... I drink to youth, and to love." And like lightning that rips apart a cloud, a smile like flickering flame flashed beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #17290 — Discuss 0 — Variant: New Zealandnewzeng
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Entry | 2.27 | 2.29 (17 ratings) | 2.24 (17 ratings) |
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-3 +1 2 may depart | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 assembly | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
under the full force of their stares, curious to the point of indiscretion | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 1 On the appointed day | | axies | |
was | Other had been finalised; meaning: ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 held a meeting that same evening with | Mistranslations arranged to meet that evening | Clive Phillips | |
| Other "in" would flow better in English; sounds like too literal a translation | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations Ulric knew where Rosette was, so he went to fetch/get her | rebeccacomley | |
on whose behalf | Mistranslations ST doesn't infer that she asked him to do anything on her behalf | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations il s'y associa... with him; a person, not in it | axies | |
| Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
| Grammar errors wrong tense | axies | |
who had | Other no need for; otherwise, who was determined... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Café de Foy is a proper noun | Laura Nagle (X) | |
As for the women | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
embarrased | Spelling embarraSSed | emma mandley No agrees/disagrees | |
helping | Mistranslations obliging... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 to seat himself | Other not really what one would say in English | Elizabeth Slaney | |
which | Syntax he had... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
been | Other omit | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Give us a toast | Mistranslations Let's toast... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
this lady will join you. | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
very quietly | Other whispering | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Mistranslations shouted/announced | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 to Death | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
-2 2 bringing | Mistranslations rising | axies | |
-1 1 youth | Mistranslations youthfulness | axies | |
| On the set day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was readied. Ulric had made an appointment there for the same evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had been dying for an hour. Ulric returned to his new accommodation where he found his old friend Tristan, who he had called and who waited for him with the three doctors. -You may withdraw, gentlemen, Ulric said to them. The person whom I wanted to see you about is no longer alive. Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to relieve his pain, but associated with it in a fraternal way. It was he who directed the splendid funeral service given for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects that the young girl had brought with her, and which had become the property of the administration after her death. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the only one that was left to the poor deceased. Ulric’s old furniture from when he lived with Rosette was taken by him also to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days after that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. That was the background of this character as he entered the Café de Foy rooms. The arrival of Ulric caused a great stir in the gathering. The men arose and pitched the courteous salutation of men of the world to him. As for the women, they kept the Count of Rouvres shamelessly under the combination of their looks for five minutes, the Count almost embarrassed, their curiosity becoming indiscretion. —Come on, my dear deceased, said Tristan making Ulric sit in the place he had reserved next to Fanny, declare your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madam, added Tristan pointing to Farah, expressionless under her mask, Madam will hold her own with you. And you, he said softly in the ear of the young woman, do not forget that I recommended you. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: -I drink... -Remember that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan shouted to him. -I drink to Death, said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips, after raising it to his masked neighbour. - And me, answered Fanny drinking in turn... I drink to youth, to love. And like lightning which tears apart a cloud, a fiery smile was kindled under her mask of velvet. | Entry #20690 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.25 | 2.33 (6 ratings) | 2.17 (6 ratings) |
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-2 +1 1 You may withdraw | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 expressionless | Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
Madam will hold her own with you | Good term selection | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 her mask of velvet | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) | |
- 7 users entered 35 "dislike" tags
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| Mistranslations he knew where she was; he just needed to get her | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations dead | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Grammar errors whom | Laura Nagle (X) | |
gentlemen, | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 associated with it in a fraternal way | Spelling cumbersome | Maryann K | |
objects | Other A dress is not generally referred to as an object. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 was taken by him also to a room in his new apartment | Syntax Awkward syntax. | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations This was, not that was-as he is still going to describe it | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 The men arose and pitched the courteous salutation of men of the world to him | Other This does not sound like English. | Elizabeth Slaney | |
| Mistranslations I don't think "pitched" fits here | magsyl | |
| Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
combination of their looks | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
deceased, | Spelling " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
declare | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Madam, | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 Farah | Inconsistencies ?? | Laura Nagle (X) | |
Madam | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-Remembe | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
forbidden, | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Death, | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
love. | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric made an appointment there for that evening with three of the best-known doctors of Paris. Then, he ran to get Rosette. She had just died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new dwelling, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, waiting for him with the three doctors. “You can go now, gentlemen,” said Ulric to them. “The person for whom I wanted to consult you no longer exists.” Tristan, who stayed alone with Count Ulric, didn't try to assuage his pain, but shared it in a fraternal manner. It was he who organized the extravagant funeral services for Rosette, to the great surprise of the entire hospital. He bought back the belongings that the young girl had brought with her which, after her death, had become property of the administration. Among these things was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had had left. By his care also, Ulric's old furniture, when he used to stay with Rosette, was moved to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, set on dying, left for England. Such were the preceding events for this character the moment he entered the bar of Foy's café. The entrance of Ulric caused a great stirring in the assembly. The men stood and greeted him courteously, as men of the world do. As for the women, they stared brazenly for five minutes at the Count de Rouvres, who was almost embarrassed under the pounding of their looks, curious to the point of being uncouth. “Well, my dear old corpse,” said Tristan, sitting Ulric down at the place which had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “announce with a toast your return to land of the living. Madame,” added Tristan, indicating Fanny, frozen beneath her mask, “Madame will give you good reason. And you,” he whispered in the ear of the woman, “don't forget what I suggested to you.” Ulric took a brimming glass and cried: “I drink...” “Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan called to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, holding a glass to his lips, after nodding at his masked neighbor. “And me,” replied Fanny, taking a sip as well, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a flash of lightening that rips through a cloud, a smile of passion lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21268 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.25 | 2.25 (8 ratings) | 2.25 (8 ratings) |
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On the appointed day | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 ready | Spelling ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
with | Omission together with... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
didn't | Other Wrong register. 'did not' | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 assuage | Other English? | axies | |
By his care | Other Follows the French too closely. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Syntax Bad English-it was due to his care (if you want to use this) | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations having plans/thoughts, the idea etc. | axies | |
As for th | Other failed to see lack of punct. (2 parag.not1): ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
women | Other society ladies in masks! | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
n | Punctuation comma | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Omission Tricky! Punctuation in actual text original confuses translators: This is how I think it should appear :- ‘’Allons, mon cher trépassé’’ — dit Tristan en faisant asseoir Ulric à la place qui lui avait été réservée auprès de Fanny ; ‘’Signalez par un toast votre rentrée dans le monde des vivants.’’ | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
“announce | Spelling ''signalez par un toast... literal: ...with a toast give the signal...'' or, Raise your glass; My contribution is:Note:another mistake in the original Lets drink/toast to your return to the land of the living | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
frozen | Mistranslations with a fixed regard; motionless; | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
will | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
give you good reason | Mistranslations respond in kind | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
woman | Other as previous. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
cried | Mistranslations warned/shouted/announced | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 “I drink to Death, | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
-1 1 to | Spelling ..to the... | axies | |
nodding | Mistranslations Acknowledge her; saluted her; maybe bowed to her; raised his hand and or blowed her a kiss! we are not told how he saluted her. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | Mistranslations youthfulness | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the scheduled day, Count Ulric de Rouvres's apartment was prepared and ready. He had arranged an appointment for that same evening with three of the most renowned doctors in Paris. Then he ran to get Rosette. She had just died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new flat where his old friend Tristan, for whom he had sent, was waiting for him, together with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” Ulric told them. “The person for whom I wanted to have a consultation with you, no longer exists.” Tristan, who was left alone with Count Ulric, made no attempt to alleviate his pain, but sympathized with him as a brother. He was the one who arranged the splendid funeral for Rosette, at the astonishment of the entire hospital. He purchased all the objects that the young girl had brought along, which had become the property of the administration upon her death. Among these objects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased had left. He also took care of transporting Ulric’s old furniture, used while he was living with Rosette, to a room in his new apartment. This was a few days after Ulric had left for England, determined to die. Such was the background of this individual when he stepped into the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulrich’s arrival caused great consternation among the assembled group. The men stood up and paid him the usual civilized respects. As for the women, they rose and ostensibly stood for five minutes, nearly causing embarrassment to the Count of Rouvre, thus exposed to the assault of their curious looks to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed,” said Tristan, sitting Ulric at the place reserved for him next to Fanny, “make a toast for your return into the world of the living. Madame,” added Tristan pointing at Fanny, motionless under her mask, “Madame will motivate you. And you,” he whispered into the ear of the young woman, “don’t forget that you came recommended by me.” Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I drink…” “Remember, political toasts are not allowed,” Tristan shouted back. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric and raised the glass to his lips, after toasting his masked neighbor. “And I, retorted Fanny, taking her turn… “I drink to youth, to love.” And, like a lightning bolt ripping through the cloud, a flaming smile flickered beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #15895 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
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Entry | 2.22 | 2.14 (7 ratings) | 2.29 (7 ratings) |
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+2 for whom I wanted to have a consultation with you | Syntax Awkward syntax. | Marian Vieyra | |
+2 This was a few days after Ulric had left | Mistranslations It was a few days later that Ulric left... | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
-1 +1 Such was the background of this individual | Other Feels stiff and does not match the presiding voice of the text. | Meghan O'Shea | |
| On the convened date, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric had summoned three of the most renowned doctors of Paris to his home that same night. Then he rushed for Rosette. She had passed away, just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new quarters, where he found his old friend Tristan, for whom he had sent, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may retire, gentlemen,” Ulric said to them. “The person about whom I wished to consult you no longer exists.” Tristan, now left alone with Count Ulric, did not even try to soothe his pain, but joined it like a brother. It was him who directed the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the amazement of the entire hospital. He bought back the things that the young woman had taken with her, and which had become the property of the administration upon her death. Amongst these things was her little blue dress, the only thing that the poor deceased had still had left. He also arranged for Ulric’s old furniture, from the time when he stayed with Rosette, to be taken to a room in his new apartment. A few days later Ulric, who was determined to die, prepared to leave for England. These were the circumstances of the man who now entered the rooms of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a good deal of commotion amongst the guests. The men stood up and greeted politely as was proper amongst fashionable people. The women brazenly kept the almost embarrassed Count de Rouvres under the barrage of their glances, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear departed friend,” said Tristan and made Ulric sit in the seat that had been reserved for him next to Fanny, “show us with a toast that you have returned to the world of the living. Madame,” he added with a glance at Fanny, who sat motionless under her mask, “Madame will explain it to you. And you,” he whispered into her ear, “do not forget what I advised.” Ulric took a large glass that was filled to the rim and cried out: “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are not allowed....,” Tristan called to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric and brought the glass to his lips, after nodding to the masked woman at his side. “And I,” replied Fanny and took a drink herself, “…I drink to youth, to love.” And as lightning tears through a cloud, a flaming smile lit up her velvety mask. | Entry #18098 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.22 | 2.22 (9 ratings) | 2.22 (9 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
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| Other doesn't flow well -- not technically incorrect, but there are more common options | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Syntax "in" rather than "of"; sounds like too literal a translation | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations adds a tone of judgment not in the original | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Grammar errors he | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Omission greeted him politely? | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+2 lit up her velvety mask | Omission omission of "sous" | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| On the day in question, the apartments of Comte Ulric de Rouvres were made ready, as Ulric was meeting that very evening with three of the most reputable doctors in Paris. Then he ran to seek out Rosette. She had died only an hour before. Ulric returned to his new abode, whereupon he found his old friend Tristan whom he had had fetched and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may go, messieurs," Ulric said to them, "the person I wished you to see no longer exists." Alone with Comte Ulric, Tristan did not make any attempt to soothe his pain, but joined him in it in a show of fraternal solidarity. It was he who organised Rosette's splendid funeral, to the great astonishment of all in the hospital. He bought back the items the young girl had taken with her and which had become the property of the hospital administration after her death. Among these items was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had still owned. It was also through his efforts that Ulric's old furniture, from when he had resided with Rosette, was conveyed to a room in his new apartments. It was only a few short days later that Ulric, intent upon dying, left for England. Such was the history of this character when he entered the salon of the café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir amongst the assembly. The men rose and politely greeted him, in the way worldly people do. As for the women, they unashamedly kept the Comte de Rouvres, who was almost on the point of embarrassment, beneath the beating of their gaze for a full five minutes, curious as it was to the point of indiscretion. "Come my dear departed," said Tristan, leading Ulric to the place reserved for him next to Fanny, "herald your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madame," added Tristan, pointing out Fanny, whose face was immobile under her mask, "madame will make you see reason. And you," he said into the young woman's ear in a low voice, "do not forget what I advised you to do." Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and cried out: "I drink..." "Remember, political toasts are forbidden here," shouted Tristan. "I drink to Death," said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips after toasting his masked neighbour. "And I," replied Fanny, drinking in her turn, "I drink to youth, to love." And like a lightening bolt rending asunder a cloud, a flame-bright smile lit up under her velours mask. | Entry #20711 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 2.22 | 2.44 (9 ratings) | 2.00 (7 ratings) |
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a show of fraternal solidarity | Flows well | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 rald your return to the world of the living with a toast. | Flows well | BSchultz | |
- 8 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
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was meeting | Mistranslations ...had arranged to meet... | Elizabeth Slaney No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations slight shift in meaning | BSchultz | |
| Mistranslations where (place), not whereupon (time) | BSchultz | |
messieurs | Grammar errors Should be capital "M" | Victoria Britten No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +4 1 beating of their gaze | Mistranslations A gaze does not beat. | Clive Phillips | |
curious | Grammar errors 'curieux' is an adjective describing 'regards' | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 madame will make you see reason | Mistranslations Not what the ST means here. | Brian Pitts | |
he said into the young woman's ear in a low voice | Syntax very stilted | Yvonne Gallagher No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed date, Count Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was prepared. That same night, Ulric had called three of Paris' most renowned physicians there. He then ran to to find Rosette. She had died only an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, for whom he had called earlier, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. "You may retire, gentlemen," Ulric told them. The person for whom I wished to call you is no more. Tristan, who alone stayed with Count Ulric, made no attempt to ease his grief, but shared in it as a brother. It was he who organised the splendid funeral given for Rosette, to the great astonishment of entire hospital. He purchased the items that the young girl had brought with her and which, upon her death, had become property of the administration. Among these items was the little blue dress, the only one to remain with the poor departed. Also by his efforts, Ulric's furniture, when he lived with Rosette, was brought to a room in his new apartment. Mere days later, Ulric, resolved to dying, set off for England. Such was the history of this personage as he walked through the doors of the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir among those assembled. The men arose and greeted him with the customary salutations of worldly men. As for the women, they brazenly held the Count de Rouvres on the verge of embarrassment for five minutes under a barrage of stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come along, my late friend," said Tristan while seating Ulric at the place that Fanny had reserved for him. "Declare with a toast your return to the land of the living." "Madame," added Tristan, indicating Fanny, who lay motionless under her mask. "She'll prove you right." "And you," he said very quietly into the young woman's ear. "Don't forget what I recommended you." Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: "I drink to–" "Don't forget: political toasts are prohibited!" Tristan yelled to him. "I drink to Death," Ulric said as he brought the glass to his lips, after raising it to his masked friend. "And I," responded Fanny, as she sipped her own glass. "I drink to youth, to love." And like a flash of lightning tearing a cloud asunder, a flaming smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #21997 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
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Entry | 2.22 | 2.00 (7 ratings) | 2.43 (7 ratings) |
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-1 1 find | Mistranslations Ulric wasn't looking for Rosette - he knew where she was | rebeccacomley | |
-1 1 property | Mistranslations Missing "the"? | magsyl | |
| Grammar errors 'resolved to die' or 'wedded to the idea of dying' or similar. | Clive Phillips | |
that Fanny had reserved for him. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
She'll prove you right | Inconsistencies | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 what I recommended you | Grammar errors what I told you or recommended you to do | Marian Vieyra | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was ready. He made plans to meet three of Paris’ most famous physicians that very evening. Then he rushed off to fetch Rosette. She had just died on an hour ago. Ulric went back to his new home where his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, was waiting for him with the three physicians. “You may as well leave gentlemen", Ulric told them. “The person I wanted to consult you about is no longer with us.” Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, didn’t try to ease his pain other than did as a friend should… keep him company. He was the one who organised an amazing funeral for Rosette to the great surprise of the entire hospital. He bought back the things the young girl had brought with her, and which were owned by the administration now that she was dead. Among these was the small blue dress, the only thing that remained with the poor dead girl. Ulric’s old furniture used when he stayed with Rosette, was also brought by him to a room of his new apartment. It was barely a few days later that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. All this featured in the background of this character the moment he walked into the rooms of Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion among those gathered. Men stood up and greeted him in the courteous manner of their society. The women, on the other hand, curious to the point of being indiscreet, brazenly stared for five minutes at the Count de Rouvres who was almost embarrassed under the barrage of looks. “Come, my dear departed one”, Tristan urged, sitting Ulric down in the seat he had reserved next to Fanny, “make a toast to announce your return to the world of the living.” “Madam”, Tristan added pointing to Fanny, motionless under her mask, “madam will raise her glass. And”, he whispered into the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I have asked you to do”. Ulric picked up a glass filled to the brim and cried out: “I give a toast…” “Don’t forget political toasts are forbidden”, Tristan shouted. “I give a toast to Death”, Ulric said bringing the glass to his lips, having greeted his masked neighbour. “And I”, replied Fanny drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a flash of lightning tearing a cloud apart, a passionate smile shone from beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #18562 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Australianausteng
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Entry | 2.18 | 1.86 (7 ratings) | 2.50 (6 ratings) |
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+1 The person I wanted to consult you about is no longer with us. | Flows well Nice and colloquial. | philgoddard | |
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that | Omission there that very evening-there left out | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
on an hour ago | Grammar errors one hour before | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation insert comma after leave | Sue Stewart-Anderson (X) | |
+2 other than did as a friend should… keep him company | Syntax Makes no sense. | Marian Vieyra | |
+2 Ulric’s old furniture used when he stayed with Rosette, was also brought by him to a room of his new apartment. | Syntax sounds strange | Marian Vieyra | |
Men | Mistranslations The men-emphatic as all the men, not some | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
sitting | Mistranslations seating Ulric in the place reserved for him... | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
pointing | Mistranslations Too blunt and impolite. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
have asked | Mistranslations wrong tense - what I asked | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. That evening, Ulric was to meet with three of Paris’s most famous physicians. He hurried to look in on Rosette. She had died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called and who was waiting with the three doctors. “You may withdraw, gentlemen,” said Ulric. “The person with whom I wanted you to consult is no more.” Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain, but he stayed by his side and did his fraternal duty. It was he who directed the splendid funeral rites in honor of Rosette, to the great surprise of the whole hospital. He bought the objects that the girl had had with her and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue dress that alone had remained with the poor dead girl. It was through his care that Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, was moved into a room in the new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, having decided to die, was leaving for England. And so, propelled forth by the past, he entered Foy’s coffeehouse. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion amongst those already assembled. The gentlemen stood and addressed him with all the courtesy of those who have experience in such worldly matters. As for the women, they boldly stood for five minutes, almost embarrassing the Count de Rouvres by their staring, their curiosity becoming indiscretion. “Come, my dearly departed”, said Tristan seating Ulric in the place he usually reserved for Fanny, “prove to us that you’ve returned to the land of the living with a toast.” “Madame”, said Tristan gesturing towards Fanny, face immobile beneath her mask, “Madame you will be the catalyst for that proof.” Whispering in her ear, he continued, “Do not forget what I said.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I drink ....” “Remember that political toasts are prohibited” interrupted Tristan with gusto. “I drink to Death”, said Ulric, who brought the glass to his lips, after raising it to his masked neighbor. “And I,” replied Fanny taking a sip in turn, “... I drink to youth, to love.” And like a flash of lightning ripping through an overcast sky, a smile shot forth from beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #19822 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.18 | 2.22 (9 ratings) | 2.13 (8 ratings) |
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hurried to look in on Rosette. | Flows well There is no clear translation for "Il courut chercher Rosette"; yet, one would "hurry to look in" on someone who is ill. | Susan Larue No agrees/disagrees | |
prove to us that you’ve returned to the land of the living with a toast | Flows well | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Spelling "was to meet" isn't the same as "arranged to meet," which was in the original text. | Susan Larue | |
+1 “The person with whom I wanted you to consult is no more.” | Mistranslations about whom I wanted to consult you | Marian Vieyra | |
The person with whom I wanted you to cons | Grammar errors "La personne pour laquelle" wouldn't translate "the person with whom". It would translate as either "for whom" at the minimum. Considering that at the time Rouvres had initially arranged to consult with the physicians, chances are Rosette is too sick to consult with anyone. | Susan Larue No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations The text doesn't say anything as serious as "fraternal duty". This phrase requires a different phrase, I think. | Susan Larue | |
| Other This isn't a mistranslation, but it is a direct translation that results in bit clumsy phraseology in English. I would have said "items" instead. | Susan Larue | |
that alone had remained with the poor dead girl | Mistranslations the only one the poor dead girl had left. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 It was through his care | Grammar errors not idiomatic in English | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations The original text indicates that Rouvres "left," not that he "was leaving." | Susan Larue | |
Foy’s coffeehouse. | Mistranslations Café de Foy | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling "Commotion" makes one think of of civil unrest. I might have used the phrase "caused quite a stir" instead. | Susan Larue | |
those who have experience in such worldly matters | Mistranslations society gentlemen | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 in the place he usually reserved for Fanny | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
Madame you will be the catalyst for that proof | Spelling madam + mistranslation | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the agreed-upon day Count Ulric de Rouvre’s apartment was ready. Having asked there for that very evening three of the most famous physicians in Paris Ulric ran to Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric went back to his new dwelling where his old friend Tristan, sent for earlier, was waiting along with the three doctors. — You may go, gentlemen, told them Ulric. —The person for whom I wanted your advice is no more. Alone with Count Ulric, Tristan did not attempt to ease his pain but rather shared it as a brother would. He was the one to arrange Rosette’s splendid funeral, to the amazement of the entire hospital. He also redeemed the things the young woman had brought along, and that upon her passing became the management’s property. Among such things was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased had left. He also took care to have Ulric’s old furniture, from the time he and Rosette had lived together, moved to a room in the new apartment. Within just a few days Ulric, resolved to die, was leaving for England. Such was the past of this character as he was entering the rooms of Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival set off a great commotion among the gathering. The men got up to greet him politely as expected from society gentlemen. As for women, for five minutes they shamelessly held Count de Rouvre under the battery of their inquisitive stares bordering on indiscretion, which somewhat embarrassed him. — Well, dear deceased, said Tristan, placing Ulric next to Fanny in the seat that has been kept for him, — celebrate your return into the world of the living by a toast. The lady – he pointed towards Fanny, immobile under her mask – the lady will join you. And you – he whispered into the young woman’s ear – don’t forget my advice. Ulrik took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed : —I drink.. — Don’t forget , political toasts are banned – called out Tristan. —I drink to Death — said Ulric, after a bow to his masked neighbor, and brought the glass to his lips —And I, Fanny replied before taking a gulp in her turn, I drink to youth, to love —and like a cloud-splitting lightning, an incandescent smile flashed from under her velvet mask. - | Entry #18311 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.11 | 2.00 (10 ratings) | 2.22 (9 ratings) |
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-1 +1 On the agreed-upon day | Mistranslations Does not make sense | magsyl | |
+1 Having asked there for that very evening three of the most famous physicians in Paris | Punctuation comma after Paris, + very awkward construction | Josephine Cassar | |
Ulric ran to Rosette | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
ad brought along | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
along, | Punctuation No comma required here. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
that upon | Punctuation A comma is required here. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
passing became | Punctuation passing, became | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations A bit awkward in the context | magsyl | |
the new | Mistranslations Ulric's | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
dear deceased, | Other dear deceased (friend) - a noun is required | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Not quite what a young lady would do in polite society?? | magsyl | |
+1 like a cloud-splitting lightning | Omission not idiomatic - you can't say 'a lightning'. | Marian Vieyra | |
| On the set day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. That same evening, Ulric called in three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to get Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new home where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may take leave, gentlemen,” Ulric told the latter. “The person for whom I wanted to consult is no longer.” Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not try to assuage his pain, but shared it as a brother. He directed the splendid funeral arranged for Rosette, to the great surprise of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects that the girl had taken with her and which, after her death, had become government property. Among those objects was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had left. Also through his doing, the antique furniture from Ulric’s time living with Rosette was transported to a room in his new apartment. It was just a few days later that Ulric, intent on dying, left for England. Such was the background of this character the moment he entered the salons of the café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion within the assembly. Men rose and nodded politely the way worldly people do. Women in turn shamelessly held the Count de Rouvres into embarrassment for almost five minutes under a battery of gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my trespassed friend,” said Tristan as he placed Ulric at the seat reserved for him next to Fanny, “announce with a toast your return to the world of the living. Madame,” added Tristan referring to Fanny, motionless under her mask, “Madame will reason you.” “And you,” he whispered to the young woman, “do not forget my recommendations.” Ulric picked up a big glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: “I drink...” “Do not forget that political toasts are prohibited,” shouted Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric as he raised the glass to his lips after nodding to his masked table companion. “And I,” said Fanny as she drank herself, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like lightning ripping through clouds, a fiery smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Entry #20092 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 2.10 | 2.00 (5 ratings) | 2.20 (5 ratings) |
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| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
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That same evening, Ulric called in three of the most famous doctors in Paris. | Mistranslations Not quite. He called three of the most famous doctors in Paris and arranged to meet them at the apartment that evening. | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
take leave | Grammar errors you may take your leave, gentlemen | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations not necessarily; could have been a private hospital, and not in text | Josephine Cassar | |
antique | Mistranslations "Ancien" = old (as in from another period in his life), not antique | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
café | Spelling Part of a proper noun; should be capitalized. | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
worldly | Mistranslations 'worldly' is an antonym of 'spiritual', 'religious', etc. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
in turn | Mistranslations "Women, for their part," or "As for the women, they..." | BSchultz No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 held the Count de Rouvres into embarrassment | Mistranslations and incorrect structure of sentence | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations he was pointing out Fanny, not referring to her/indicating | Josephine Cassar | |
drank hersel | Grammar errors as she herself drank | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was prepared. Ulric had made an appointment for that very evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to get Rosette. She had died just an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new accommodations, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, and who awaited him with the three doctors. “You may go now, sirs,” said Ulric to them. “The person for whom I wished to consult you no longer exists.” Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not try to relieve his pain, but fraternally supported him. It was he who organised the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great astonishment of everyone at the hospital. He bought back objects which the young girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects could be found a little blue dress, the only one remaining to the poor deceased girl. It was also by his care that Ulric’s old furniture, from when he had been living with Rosette, was transported to a room of his new apartment. It was a few days later that Ulric, decided upon dying, left for England. Such had been this personnage’s background at the moment when he entered the coffee house of Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion in the assembly. The men rose and addressed him the courteous greetings of worldly men. As for the women, they brazenly held the nearly-embarrassed Count de Rouvres in the batteries of their gazes for five minutes, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come now, my dearly departed,” said Tristan, making Ulric sit in the place reserved for him beside Fanny, “show your return to the world of the living with a toast. Madam,” added Tristan while indicating Fanny, immobile under her mask, “Madam will agree with you. And you,” he said quietly in the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I recommended to you.” Ulric took a big glass filled to the brim and cried out, “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden,” shouted Tristan to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after having saluted his masked neighbour. “And I,” answered Fanny, drinking in turn, “… I drink to youth, to love.” And like lightning tearing through a cloud, a flaming smile lit up her face under her velvet mask. | Entry #18319 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Canadiancanaeng
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Entry | 2.09 | 2.00 (6 ratings) | 2.17 (6 ratings) |
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-3 +5 4 accommodations | Mistranslations Not plural in English | magsyl | |
no longer exists | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling Only one "n" in English | magsyl | |
background | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 at the moment when | Grammar errors Tautology | magsyl | |
| Grammar errors Adverbs ending in 'ly' do not take a hyphen. | Marian Vieyra | |
batteries of their gazes | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the prescribed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was prepared. Ulric made an appointment for three of the most famous physicians of Paris to be there that very evening. Then he ran to get Rosette. She had just died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new accommodations, where he found his old friend, Tristan, whom he had called for, and who was waiting for him with the three physicians. "You may leave, gentlemen," said Ulric to those three. "The person whom I wished you to examine is gone from this world." Tristan, remaining alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to soothe his sorrow, rather he kept company with him as a brother might. It was he who supervised the splendid funeral service which was held for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He purchased the objects which the young woman had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among those objects was the little blue dress, the only one the dearly departed still had. Also by means of his care and attention, Ulric's old furnishings, from when he lived with Rosette, were transported to a room of his new apartment. It was a few days afterward that Ulric, determined to die, was leaving for England. Such was the previous history of this individual as he entered the dining rooms of the Café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir among those who were gathered. The men got up and greeted him courteously in the manner of well-to-do gentlemen. The women, on the other hand, being curious to the point of indiscretion, for five minutes brazenly stared at the Count de Rouvres, who was almost embarrassed to be held fast in their gaze. "Let's go, my dear interloper," said Tristan, making Ulric sit down at the place which had been reserved for him next to Fanny. "Announce your re-entry into the world of the living with a toast. Madame," added Tristan, indicating Fanny, immobile behind her mask, "madame will propose a toast to you in turn. And do not forget, " he whispered softly into the young woman's ear, "what I suggested to you." Ulric took a large glass filled right to the brim and cried out: "I drink ..." "Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden!" exclaimed Tristan to him. "I drink to death," said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after raising it to his masked neighbor. "And I," responded Fanny, taking a drink in turn, "... I drink to youth, to love. " And like a bolt of lightning that splits a cloud, a brilliant smile flashed below her velvet mask. | Entry #19924 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.09 | 2.00 (12 ratings) | 2.17 (12 ratings) |
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whom he had called for, | Flows well Good style and sense combined | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
well-to-do gentlemen | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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| Other translation:- Ulric receives/pays homage to | axies | |
rather he kept company | Syntax but rather kept him company | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 1 by means of his care and attention | Grammar errors Not idiomatic-it was thanks to his care (and attention)(remove comma) that... | Josephine Cassar | |
| Other the order of this paragraph is wrong and does not correspond to what one would say or how we would say it in English | axies | |
| Grammar errors in his/ for his | axies | |
-1 +5 2 was leaving for England | Syntax Past continuous tense not the best choice here. | Brian Pitts | |
-1 1 The women, on the | Other Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies | |
+1 1 "Let's go, my dear | Mistranslations ''Come my lost friend...'' | axies | |
-1 +5 3 interloper | Mistranslations Ulric has been pretending to be dead - "trépassé" = "dead" | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
-1 +1 1 immobile | Mistranslations with a fixed regard; motionless; | axies | |
And do not forget | Spelling I think it is important to repeat the word to emphasise the change in address (public announcement to private whisper) | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 "I drink to death, | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
raising | Mistranslations incorrect. He saluted her; maybe bowed to her; raised his hand and/or blowed her a kiss! we are not told how he saluted her. | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Omission and to... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was prepared. Ulric had planned a meeting for that very evening with three of the best known doctors in Paris. Then he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan whom he had called and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You may leave, gentlemen,” said Ulric to the doctors. “The person I wanted you to consult with no longer exists.” Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, didn’t try to assuage his pain but held him like a brother. It was he who organized the splendid funeral for Rosette to the great astonishment of everyone in the hospital. He bought the objects the young girl had taken with her and which, after her death, became the property of the administration. Among these was the little blue dress, the only one left belonging to the poor dead girl. Under his care, the Ulric’s old furnishings from when he lived with Rosette were transported to a room in his new apartment. It was some days later that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such were the preceding events leading up to the moment he entered the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a stir among the customers. The men stood and gave him a gentlemanly greeting. As for the women, for five minutes they shamelessly embraced Count Rouvres who was almost embarassed under the battery of their glances, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come on, my dear lifeless friend,” said Tristan helping Ulric to be seated in the place he had reserved for him next to Fanny, “Let’s toast to your entry to the world of the living. Madam…” added Tristan in indicating Fanny, immobile under her mask, « Madam is right. And you…” he whispered softly in the young woman’s ear, “Dont forget what I recommended.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the rim and shouted: “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden!” cried out Tristan. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric raising the class to his lips after having saluted his masked neighbor. “And I…” responded Fanny drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a ray of sun bursting through the clouds, a smile radiated from under her velour mask. | Entry #20840 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 2.09 | 2.17 (6 ratings) | 2.00 (6 ratings) |
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+1 wanted you to consult with | Mistranslations + punctuation-I wanted to consult you about, | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 held him like a brother | Mistranslations empathised with him in a brotherly way/like a brother | Josephine Cassar | |
the Ulric’s old furnishings | Mistranslations + grammar-remove 'the', furniture, not furnishings | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
preceding | Other 'preceding' is superfluous. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
he | Mistranslations this person/character | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations they did not embrace; if anything they stared him out for a full five minutes | Josephine Cassar | |
Come on | Other Not appropriate to the period. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
Dont | Spelling forgotten apostrophe | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
what I recommended | Mistranslations the advice I gave you | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
a ray of sun bursting through the clouds | Mistranslations wrong imagery here | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was gotten ready. Ulric had agreed to meet that same evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then, he ran to look for Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he met up with his old friend Tristan, whom he had asked to come and who was waiting for him along with the three doctors. “You may take leave, Sirs,” said Ulric. “The person in respect of which I wanted to consult you has ceased to exist.” Tristan, alone now with Count Ulric, did not attempt to relieve his grief, but treated him with kindness. It was he who took charge of the splendid funeral arrangements made for Rosette, to the great surprise of the entire hospice. He purchased the effects that the young girl had taken with her and which, following her death, became the property of the estate. Among the objects was the small blue dress, the only one left the dear deceased. In addition, the former furnishings of Ulric, when he lived with Rosette, were transported to a room in his new apartment. It was several days later that Ulric, intent on dying, was about to leave for England. This is where things stood regarding Ulric, at the moment when he entered the salons at the Foy café. The arrival of Ulric provoked a large reaction among the assembly. The men stood up and greeted him with all the courtesies of worldly folk. As for the women, they remained nonplused for five minutes as they beheld the Count of Rouvres, somewhat embarrassed by the tenor of their regard, which reeked of curiosity. “Come here, my dear guest,” said Tristan making a place for Ulric to sit in a place he had reserved next to Fanny. “Let us have a toast to your return to the world of the living.” “Madame,” added Tristan in reference to Fanny, who remained rigid behind her mask,” Madame you will have the last say about it.” “And you,” he whispered into the ear of the young woman, “don’t forget what I counseled you to do.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and shouted: “I drink….” “Don’t forget that toasts of a political nature are forbidden,” cried out Tristan. “I propose a toast to Death,” said Ulric as he raised the glass to his lips after saluting his disguised neighbor. “And I,” responded Fanny taking a drink in turn...”I toast a drink to youth, to love.” And like lightening that cuts through a cloud, a warm smile appeared under her velveteen mask. | Entry #16724 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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She had just died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he met up with his old friend Tristan, whom he had asked to come and who was waiting for him along with the three doctors. | Flows well | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
funeral arrangements | Flows well | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
effects | Flows well | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
following her death | Flows well | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
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+4 2 was gotten ready | Other Although acceptable in current US English, this is too modern. 19th-Century English is more appropriate here. | Marian Vieyra | |
look for | Mistranslations 'find/fetch/collect'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors whom - as it is a person, not a thing. | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +1 1 left | Grammar errors the only one the dear deceased had left. | Marian Vieyra | |
In addition | Mistranslations ''Par ses soins aussi...'' Himself had been in charge of...responsible for the... at his charge had also been... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
was about to leave | Grammar errors just left | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
Foy café | Other Café de Foy - famous revolutionary café. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
worldly | Mistranslations The antonym of 'worldly' is 'spiritual', 'religious', etc. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
As for the women, they remained nonplused for five minutes as they beh | Mistranslations Original reads wrongly. There is a stop, or rather should be one in the French original/source. Maybe a s.c.(;) or other, at the end of ''...effrontemént''. i.e. ‘’Quant aux femmes, elles tinrent effrontément’’( ; ) NEXT SENTENCE : pendant cinq minutes le comte de Rouvres presque embarrassé sous la | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 making a place for Ulric to sit in a place | Other repetition | Marian Vieyra | |
in reference | Mistranslations ...pointing to...; looking towards... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 you will have the last say about it. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
-2 1 of a political nature | Syntax simply political toasts | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 1 to Death,” | Mistranslations‘’Je bois à la Mort…’’ I drink to Death?? Figurat. (I drink until I drop dead!) Doesn’t seem right. ‘’I drink to the dead... ‘’/the departed/ deceased, dead, defunct, late, passed on, expired, demised adjLink: http://www.wordreference.com/fren/d%C3%A9funt | axies | |
his disguised neighbor | Mistranslations masked... | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
youth | | axies No agrees/disagrees | |
| Count ULric de Rouvres' flat was ready on the scheduled day. Ulric set the appointment for that very evening there with three of the most famous Parisian doctors. Then, he ran to fetch Rosette. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric went back to his new quarters, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, and who awaited him with the three doctors. - You can leave, Doctors, Ulric told these three. The person about whom I wanted to consult you, is no longer with us. Tristan, left alone with Count Ulric, did not attempt to ease his pain, but empathised with his grief in a brotherly way. It was he who organised the splendid funeral services for Rosette, to the great astonishment of all the hospital. He bought all the things that the young lady had taken with her, and, which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects, there was the little blue dress, the only thing that was left to the poor deceased soul. It was also thanks to his care that Ulric's old furniture was taken to a room in his new flat from Rosette's place, from when he lived with her. It was a few days later that Ulric, feeling suicidal, left for England. This was the story of this character when he entered the lounge of Foy café. Ulric's arrival caused quite a stir in the gathering. The gentlemen rose and courteously greeted him in the manner of fashionable people. The ladies, however, held Count Rouvres' gaze brazenly for five minutes and he felt almost embarrassed by their stares, as their curiosity was almost indiscreet. -Come on, my dear dead one, said Tristan, leading Ulric to the seat which had been reserved for him near Fanny, toast your return to the world of the living. Madame, continued Tristan, indicating Fanny, expressionless as her face wore a mask, Madame will accompany you in drinking. And you, he said in a low voice in the ear of the young lady, don't forget what I told you. Ulric took a glass filled to the brim and cried out: - I drink.... -Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan warned him. - I drink to Death, replied Ulric, lifting the glass to his lips, after having saluted his neighbour with the mask. - And I, answered Fanny, drinking in her turn... I drink to youth, to love. And like a bolt of lightning that cuts through a cloud, a flaming smile lit up her velvet mask. | Entry #18514 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 1.99 | 1.78 (9 ratings) | 2.20 (10 ratings) |
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She had died an hour earlier | Good term selection Yay. So many people didn't get this. | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
whom he had sent for | Good term selection | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
courteously greeted him in the manner of fashionable people | Flows well but I would prefer 'greeted him courteously" | jrum No agrees/disagrees | |
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-1 +2 2 Ulric set the appointment for that very evening there | Syntax Awkward. | Marian Vieyra | |
famous | Other 'famed' if you wish to stick with something relating to 'famous' - but 'célèbre' does not necessarily mean 'famous' in that sense - well-known, maybe - but 'highly reputed' etc. is more accurate for the sense | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
no longer with us | Other The source text doesn't use a euphemism here. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
services | Other Not just the service and there would only have been one service. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
bought | Spelling racheter, not acheter | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 deceased soul | Other People who believe in souls tend to think they survive the death of the body. | B D Finch | |
lat f | Mistranslations An anachronism in a 19th century text. Also, the rooms may have been on several floors. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 from | Mistranslations The furniture was from when he had lived with Rosette, but was probably in storage by then. The ST doesn't specify where it was collected from. | B D Finch | |
Rosette's place, | Other Not a 19th century usage. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 feeling suicidal | Mistranslations Suicide is not suggested in the ST. | Clive Phillips | |
story | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 held Count Rouvres' gaze | Mistranslations They gazed at him, but did not hold his gaze. It is impossible for more than one person to hold someone's gaze. | B D Finch | |
near | Mistranslations next to | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Fanny, toast | Punctuation Fanny. "Toast | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
living. | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Madame | Punctuation "Madam," | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
expressionless as | Punctuation expressionless, as | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 2 as her face wore a mask | Mistranslations Fanny is actually wearing a mask | rebeccacomley | |
Madam | Punctuation "Madam | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 will accompany you in drinking | Mistranslations | B D Finch | |
don't | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
- I drink.... | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-Don't | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
forbidden, | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
- I drink | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Death, | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
I drink | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
love. | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 lit up her velvet mask. | Mistranslations Fanny was wearing an eye mask, therefore it could not be lit up! The lips below the mask broke into a wide smile? | jrum | |
| On the day in question, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was prepared. Ulric arranged to meet that very evening with three of the most famous doctors in Paris and then went to bring Rosette there. She had died an hour earlier. Ulric returned to his new accommodations where he found his old friend Tristan whom he had called and who now waited with the three doctors. “You may leave now, gentlemen.” Ulric said to them. “The one whom I wanted you to examine is no more.” Tristan, the only one who stayed with Count Ulric, did not try to assuage his grief but shared it in a brotherly fashion. It was he who oversaw the lavish funeral that was arranged for Rosette, to the great astonishment of all at the hospital. He bought back the items that she had brought with her and that after her death, had become the property of the hospital. Among these items was a little blue dress, the only one that the deceased owned. He also arranged for Ulric’s old furniture from when he was living with Rosette to be transported to a room in his new apartment. It was a few days afterward that Ulric would leave for England, having decided to die. These were the events prior to the moment he entered the salons at Foy's café. Ulric's arrival caused a great stir among those assembled. The men stood up and gave him a full gentleman's welcome. The women shamelessly held the self-conscious count in their gaze, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come, my late lamented friend", said Tristan seating Ulric in the chair near Fanny that he had saved for him, "let us make a toast to your return to the land of the living. Madame, you were right", Tristan added to Fanny, motionless under her mask. "And," he said, whispering into her ear, "don't forget what I told you." Ulric picked up a large glass that was filled almost to the rim and said: "I drink..." "Don't forget that toasts on politics are forbidden!" Tristan said to him. "I drink to Death." said Ulric bringing the glass to his lips after having saluted his masked companion. "And I," Fanny said when it was her turn to speak, "drink to youth, to love. And like a bolt of lightning that tears a cloud asunder, a fiery smile shines under its velvet mask." | Entry #17018 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 1.93 | 1.86 (7 ratings) | 2.00 (7 ratings) |
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On the day in question | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
then went to bring Rosette there. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 the only one who stayed with Count Ulric | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 1 a little blue dress | Mistranslations It's 'the' little blue dress ('la petite robe bleue') in the source text. | Brian Pitts | |
Foy's café | Mistranslations Café de Foy - famous revolutionary café | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
full gentleman's welcome | Mistranslations Sounds like a full English breakfast | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
curious | Omission Count de Rouvres was almost embarrassed under the battery of their looks, | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
you were right | Mistranslations Not sure this captures the real meaning | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
almost to the rim | Mistranslations No "almost" in the original and "brim" sounds more natural than "rim" | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
toasts on politics | Grammar errors political toasts | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
when it was her turn to speak | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s flat was prepared. Ulric had arranged for three of the most renowned doctors in Paris to visit that evening. Then he went to collect Rosette. She had been dead for an hour. Ulric returned to his new flat where he found his old friend, Tristan, who he had called, waiting with the three doctors. ‘-You can leave, gentlemen’, Ulric said to the doctors. ‘The person I wanted you to see is no longer alive.’ Tristan, alone with Count Ulric, didn’t try to ease his grief, but felt for him in a brotherly way. It was him who organised the magnificent funeral for Rosette to the surprise of the hospital. He bought all the belongings of the young girl, which had become the property of the local authorities on her death. Among her belongings was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl owned. It was thanks to Tristan also that Ulric’s old furniture from when he lived with Rosette was moved into a room in his new flat. It was only a few days later that Ulric left for England, having decided to end his life. This is the background of the character who is entering the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion amongst the people present. The men stood up and gave the courteous hello of worldly people. As for the women, they stared shamelessly at the Count of Rouvres for five minutes making him feel almost embarrassed, curious to the point of indiscretion. ‘-Go, my dear deceased’, said Tristan, pushing Ulric into the seat next to Fanny that had been reserved for him, ‘show us you have re-entered the world of the living.’ ‘My dear lady’, added Tristan, pointing to Fanny, who was motionless under her mask, ‘you will make him see sense.’ He then whispered in the young lady’s ear, ‘don’t forget what I advised you to do’. Ulric lifted up a big full glass and cried out, ‘-I drink....’ ‘-Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden’ shouted Tristan. ‘-I drink to Death’, said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbour. ‘And I..’, Fanny replied, taking her turn to make a toast.., ‘I drink to youth, to love.’ And like a flash of light breaking up a cloud, a passionate smile appeared under her velvet mask. | Entry #19067 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 1.92 | 1.83 (6 ratings) | 2.00 (6 ratings) |
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wanted you to see | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
didn’t | Other Inappropriate style/register | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
surprise | Omission "grand" | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
bought | Mistranslations bought back / redeeemed | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
belongings | Omission | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
local authoritie | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
flat | Mistranslations An anachronism in a 19th century text. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 hello of worldly people | Mistranslations greeting of society gentlemen | Clive Phillips | |
hello | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
pushing Ulric into the seat | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
next to Fanny that had been reserved for him | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
pointing to | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
big full glass | Other Poor choice of words | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
greeting | Mistranslations saluted/acknowledged | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
passionate smile appeared | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was prepared. That very evening, Ulric had called three of the most renowned physiciansin Paris to meet him there. Then he ran in search of Rosette. She had died just an hour before. Ulric returned to his new abode, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, and who was waiting for him with the three physicians. "You may go, gentlemen," said Ulric. "The person for whom I wished to consult you no longer exists." Tristan, staying behind alone with Count Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain, but rather shared in it as a brother. It was he who arranged the splendid funeral services for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He purchased all of the belongings that the young girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Found among these belongings was the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl still had. Ulric's antique furniture, also kept with Rosette during her treatment, was moved into a room in his new apartment. A few days later Urlic, determined to die, left for England. Such were the events leading up to the moment this man entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Urlic's arrival caused a great commotion within the gathering. Men arose from their seats and addressed him with the courteous greetings of high society. As for the women, they stared shamelessly at the Count of Rouvres for minutes on end, curious to the point of indiscretion, nearly discomfitting him under the onslaught of their gazes. "Come, my dearly departed," said Tristan, as he attempted to seat Ulric in the place he had reserved for him next to Fanny, "Call for a toast to celebrate your return to the world of the living. Madame," added Tristan, to Fanny, frozen beneath her mask, "Madame, you must come to terms. And do not forget," he whispered into the young girl's ear, "what I have advised you." Ulric took a large glass filled nearly to the brim and cried, "I drink..." "Do not forget, political toasts are forbidden," Tristan shouted to him. "I drink to Death," said Ulric, as he brought the glass to his lips, after regarding his masked neighbor. "And I," responded Fanny as she drank in turn... "I drink to youth, to love." And like a bolt of lightning that parts a cloud, the flame of a smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #15757 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 1.90 | 2.10 (10 ratings) | 1.70 (10 ratings) |
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+1 1 And like a bolt of lightning that parts a cloud, the flame of a smile lit up beneath her velvet mask | Good term selection | Clive Phillips | |
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prepared | Mistranslations Ready | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 1 That very evening, | Other If this is put at the beginning, the meaning changes-he did not call them that very evening- but the arranged the meeting FOR that very evening there | Josephine Cassar | |
had called | Grammar errors Wrong tense. Both incorrect translation (preterite not pluperfect) and does not agree with tense in next sentence, 'Then he ran' | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
abode | Other sounds too formal/stuffy | KMPrice No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling Only one funeral, surely? | magsyl | |
| Punctuation ', and' is superflous (in English) 'belongings which,' is quite adequate | Sian Cooper | |
+6 2 antique | Other Not sure it was antique? | magsyl | |
+4 1 also kept with Rosette during her treatment | Mistranslations Don't know where treatment comes from | magsyl | |
| Omission Part of ST left out-that it was thanks to his arrangements/attention | Josephine Cassar | |
arose from their seats | Other Just 'rose' or 'stood up' is perfectly adequate. | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
Count of Rouvres | Inconsistencies You use 'de' Rouvres at the start | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 minutes on end | Mistranslations five minutes, not indefinitely | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 1 my dearly departed | Mistranslations my dear departed friend/one | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations faire asseoir is to seat, not to attempt to seat | Marian Vieyra | |
to Fanny | Mistranslations en désignant Fanny - indicating Fanny, motioning towards Fanny, etc. | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations I think this assumes more than exists in the original | magsyl | |
+3 2 you must come to terms | Mistranslations Don't think this is what is meant | magsyl | |
have | Grammar errors Wrong tense | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
shouted | Other Wrong tenor - there is no indication of huge background noise, so 'shout' has an incorrect emotive overtone - 'cried' would be better | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was prepared. For that very evening, Ulric invited three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he ran to pick up Rosette. She had died just an hour before. Ulric came back to his new accommodations, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had had called, and who awaited him with the three doctors. “You can leave, sirs,” Ulrich told them. “The person I wished for you to consult no longer exists.” Tristan, left alone with Ulric, did not try to calm his grief but he shared it in a brotherly fashion. It was he who directed the grand funeral arranged for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects which the young woman had taken away with her and which, after her death, had become property of the administration. Among these objects figured the little blue dress, the only one which remained to the poor deceased. By his care as well, Ulric’s old furniture was transferred into a room of his new apartment while he remained with Rosette. It was a few days afterward that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the background of this character at the moment when he entered the rooms of the Café du Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great movement in the assembly. The men stood and greeted him with the courteous greeting of worldly men. As for the women, for five minutes they impudently held the Count of Rouvres, almost embarrassed under the beating of their gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Let’s go, my dear deceased,” Tristan said while seating Ulric at the place that had been reserved for him near Fanny. “Signal by your toast your return to the world of the living. Madame,” Tristan added, indicating Fanny, unmoving under her mask, “Madame will toast with you. And you,” he said under his breath to the young woman’s ear, “do not forget what I suggested to you.” Ulric took a large glass, filled to the brim, and exclaimed: “I am drinking…” “Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan shouted to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips after saluting his disguised neighbor. “And I,” replied Fanny, drinking in turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like lightning which rips apart a cloud, a smile of flames lit up behind her velvet mask. | Entry #19502 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.90 | 2.00 (5 ratings) | 1.80 (5 ratings) |
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prepared | Mistranslations the point is that it was ready | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 For that very evening, Ulric invited three of the most famous doctors in Paris | Other Ulric had arranged a meeting there with three of the most famous doctors in Paris for that very evening-some omission(there) and mistranslation (it was ore than an invitation as she was dying-it was a consultation) | Josephine Cassar | |
+3 2 whom he had had called | Other Avoidably awkward phrasing. | Brian Pitts | |
+1 The person I wished for you to consult | Mistranslations the person about whom I wished to consult you | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
By his care as well | Other Does not flow well, and not good translation-it was due/thanks to his attention | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 while he remained with | Mistranslations when he was living/staying with | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
courteous greeting | Other repetition-the courtesy would fit | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
impudently held the Count of Rouvres | Other construction | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
beating | Mistranslations A gaze does not 'beat'. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
I am drinking | Syntax The present continuous tense/aspect seems unnatural here. | Brian Pitts No agrees/disagrees | |
disguised | Mistranslations masked-better as in text | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, Comte Ulric de Rouvres' apartment was ready. Ulric arranged for it to be the place where, that very evening, three of the most illustrious doctors in Paris should meet. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had just died, only an hour before. Ulric returned to his new apartment, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had summoned, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors - You can leave, sirs, Ulric told the doctors. The person about whom I wished to consult you is no longer alive. Tristan, left alone with Comte Ulric, did not try to assuage his grief, but associated himself with it in a brotherly way. It was he who directed the splendid obsequies which were mounted for Rosette, to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He bought back the objects that the young girl had taken away with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue gown, the only gown which remained to the poor deceased. It was, also, through his efforts that, when Ulric was living with Rosette, Ulric's old furniture was brought into a room in his new apartment. It was only a few days afterwards that Ulric, determined to die, was leaving for England. Such was the antecedent history of this personage at the period when he began his entry into the salons of the café de Foy. Ulric's arrival caused great sensation in the assembly. The men rose to their feet and offered him the courteous salutation proper to men of the world. As for the ladies, they had the effrontery, for a good five minutes, to hold the Comte de Rouvres almost bemused in the sights of their volley of scrutiny, curious to the point of indiscretion. - Come along, my dear abused fellow, said Tristan, in offering Ulric a seat in the place that was reserved for himself next to Fanny, propose a toast to mark your return to the land of the living. Madame, Tristan added, pointing to Fanny, completely still beneath her mask, Madame will respond to your toast. And you, he whispered in the young woman's ear, don't forget what I told you. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: I drink.... - Don't forget that toasts on the subject of politics are not allowed, Tristan called to him. I drink to Death, said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after having acknowledged the masked lady next to him. - And I, replied Fanny, drinking in her turn...I drink to youth, to love. And like a flash of lightning tearing through a cloud, a smile which was all flame shone out from under her velvet mask. | Entry #15955 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 1.88 | 1.88 (8 ratings) | 1.88 (8 ratings) |
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a smile which was all flame shone out from under her velvet mask. | Good term selection | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
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+1 arranged for it to be the place where | Syntax + has slightly different meaning put like this. | Marian Vieyra | |
had summoned | Mistranslations had had invited | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 when Ulric was living with Rosette | Other implies that the furniture was moved when Ulric was living with Rosette | Elizabeth Tamblin | |
antecedent | Other not natural English | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
men of the world | Mistranslations society gentlemen | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
in | Grammar errors no need for 'in'. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
Madame, | Punctuation Punctuation needed to introduce more speech. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
pointing t | Mistranslations impolite especially among high society-indicating | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the set day, Count Ulric´s apartment was ready. Ulric set an appointment there, on the very same evening, with three of Paris´ most famous doctors. Then, he ran to fetch Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric went back to his new apartment, where he found his old friend Tristan, who he had called for, and who was waiting for him, with the three doctors. ―You may leave, gentlemen, said Ulric to them. The person I wanted to consult you for, no longer exists. Tristan, who had remained alone with Count Ulric, did not intend to sooth his pain, but, fraternally associated himself to it. It was he who directed the splendid funeral performed for Rosette, at the great astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back the objects the young girl had taken along, and which, after her death, had become the administration´s property. Among these objects, there was the little blue dress, the only one left to the poor defunct. Through his care, as well, Ulric´s ancient furniture, when he was living with Rosette, was transported to a room, in his new apartment. It was just a few days afterwards that Ulric, decided to die was leaving for England. Such were that individual´s antecedents, at the moment he stepped in the Café de Foy´s salons. Ulric´s arrival caused a great movement in the audience. The men stood-up and addressed him with the well-to-do people´s courteous greetings. As far as the women were concerned, they shamelessly kept the almost embarrassed Count de Rouvres, for five minutes, under the fire of their stare, curious to the point of indiscretion. ―So, my dear dead man, said Tristan, as he had Ulric sit in the place which had been reserved for him, next to Fanny, signal with a toast, your return to the world of the living. My lady, added Tristan, as he pointed at Fanny, motionless behind her mask, my lady shall make you come to reason. And you, he murmured in the young woman´s ear, do not forget what I have recommended you. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim, and exclaimed: ―I drink… ―Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan shouted to him. ―I drink to Death, said Ulric, as he took the glass to his lips, after having greeted his masked neighbor. ―And I, replied Fanny, as her turn had come to drink… I drink to youth, to love. And, as a lightning that rips a cloud apart, a flame-like smile lit-up under her velvet mask. | Entry #15748 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 1.77 | 1.86 (7 ratings) | 1.67 (9 ratings) |
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bought back | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
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set | Mistranslations Appointed day is more idiomatic. Set day is not usual. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
fraternally associated himself to it | Mistranslations Translatese | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the poor defunct | Omission defunct girl | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
Through his care | Mistranslations Literal | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
decided to die was leaving for England. | Syntax not idiomatic and wrong tense for 'partait'. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
antecedents | Mistranslations not an idiomatic translation | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
stood-up | Punctuation why the hyphen? | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 my lady shall make you come to reason. | Other Meaning not clear. | philgoddard | |
I have recommended | Syntax wrong tense | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other A bolt/flash of lightning. You can't say "a lightning". | philgoddard | |
| On the arranged day, the apartment of Count Ulric de Rouvres was ready. Ulric made an appointment here, for the same evening, with three of the most renowned doctors in Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had just died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called for, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. — You may leave, gentlemen, Ulric said to them. The person whom I wanted to see you about no longer exists. Tristan, who remained alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but supported him like a brother. It was he who made arrangements for the splendid funeral that was bestowed upon Rosette, to the great amazement of the whole hospital. He bought back the objects that the young girl had taken with her, and which, after her death, had become the property of the authorities. Among these objects was the small blue dress, the only remaining one owned by the poor deceased. He also made sure that, Ulric’s old furniture, when he lived with Rosette, was transported to a room in his new apartment. This was a few days after Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such was the history of this character at the time when he entered the salons of the Café de Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great stir in the meeting. The men got up and addressed him with the courteous greeting reserved for society people. As for the women, they brazenly stared for five minutes at the Count of Rouvres, who became almost embarrassed under the relentless of their gazes, curious to the point of indiscretion. — Let’s go, my dearly deceased, said Tristan whilst making Ulric sit in the seat which had been reserved for Fanny, mark with a toast your return to the world of the living. Madam, added Tristan whilst pointing at Fanny, expressionless under her mask, madam will not disappoint you by drinking as much as you. And you, he said softly in the ear of the young lady, don’t forget what I have recommended to you. Ulric took a tall cocktail glass filled to the brim and shouted out: — I’m drinking.... — Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden, Tristan shouted to him. — I’m drinking to Death, said Ulric whilst raising the glass to his lips, after having paid tribute to his masked neighbour. — And me, replied Fanny whilst drinking in turn... I’m drinking to youth and love. And like lightning which tears apart a cloud, a smile of love shone bright under her velvet mask. | Entry #16147 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 1.77 | 1.83 (6 ratings) | 1.71 (7 ratings) |
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society people | Good term selection | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 19 "dislike" tags
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| Mistranslations Ulric knew where she was. he went to get/fetch her | rebeccacomley | |
ago | Mistranslations "ago" is used as from the present, not the past. | Diana Clark No agrees/disagrees | |
poor deceased | Grammar errors poor deceased girl - a noun is required here | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 that, Ulric’s old furniture, when he lived with Rosette, | Punctuation | rebeccacomley | |
+3 This was a few days after Ulric | Mistranslations IT was a few days after/later that Ulric, having | rebeccacomley | |
+1 1 of Rouvres | Inconsistencies used 'de Rouvres' earlier | rebeccacomley | |
+1 relentless of their gazes, | Mistranslations the relentlessness of their gaze OR their relentless gaze | Marian Vieyra | |
I’m drinking to Death, | Grammar errors no gerund here. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| When the day came, Count Ulric de Rouvres’ apartment was made ready. Ulric arranged to meet three of Paris’s most famous physicians there that evening. Then he ran off to find Rosette. She had died just an hour beforehand. Ulric went back to his new flat where he found his old friend Tristan who he had got someone to call for. He was waiting there for him with the three doctors. “You can leave, gentlemen”, Ulric said to them. “The person I wanted you to see is no more.” When Tristan was alone with Count Ulric he didn’t try to soothe his pain but did look after him. He was the one who organised Rosette’s grand funeral that astonished the whole hospital. He bought back the girl’s things that she had brought with her which had become hospital property after she died. Amongst these things was the little blue dress which was the only one the poor deceased girl had left. He also arranged for Ulric’s old furniture from when he was living with Rosette to be shipped to one of the rooms in his new apartment. It was only a few days later that Ulric left for England, determined to die. That was this character’s history at the point where he started going to coffee houses in Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a great commotion amongst those assembled. The men stood up and greeted him with a polite greeting that would be familiar to all. The ladies blatantly stared for five minutes. Count Rouvres was almost embarrassed under the barrage of their almost thoughtless peering. “Come along my dearly departed,” Tristan said, seating Ulric in the chair that Fanny had saved for him, “Show them you’re back in the land of the living by raising a toast. “Madam,” said Tristan, pointing at Fanny who was motionless beneath her mask, “Madam will drink to you. “And you,” he whispered in the young woman’s ear, “don’t forget what I suggested.“ Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed, “I drink to…” “Remember that you’re not allowed to do political toasts,” Tristan called out to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, greeting his masked companion and bringing the glass to his lips. “And as for me,” replied Fanny, taking her turn to drink, “I drink to youth, … to love.” And like a bolt of lightning ripping a cloud, a flaming smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Entry #18151 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
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Entry | 1.67 | 1.67 (9 ratings) | 1.67 (9 ratings) |
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+2 which had become hospital property after she died | Flows well very neat solution | rebeccacomley | |
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When the day came, | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 who he had got someone to call for | Syntax whom he had sent for | Marian Vieyra | |
+1 but did look after him. | Mistranslations Not what the French says. Also too modern. | Marian Vieyra | |
point where he started going | Mistranslations when he entered | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Cafe de Foy in Paris is a proper noun | rebeccacomley | |
that would be familiar to all. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
Count Rouvres | Omission Count de Rouvres | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
thoughtless | Mistranslations Not really a close enough translation of 'indiscretion'. | Brian Pitts No agrees/disagrees | |
dearly departed | Mistranslations Although it's in Wordreference, "dear departed (one)" is more idiomatic | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 the chair that Fanny had saved for him | Mistranslations The chair was NEXT TO Fanny, not saved for him BY Fanny. | Brian Pitts | |
to do | Grammar errors make a toast or propose a toast | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
flaming smile | Mistranslations Not English. | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| On this particular day, Earl Ulric de Rouvre’s appartment was ready. Ulric had an appointment made for the very evening to see three of Paris’ most famous doctors. Then, he ran to get Rosette. She had just died, one hour earlier. Ulric came back to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, to whom a call had been made earlier. He was waiting for him with the three doctors. -‘You can withdraw gentlemen’, Ulric said to them. ‘The person I wanted to consult you for is no longer.’ Tristan, who stayed alone with Earl Ulric, did not try to soothe his pain, but united with him in a brotherly way. He was the one who directed the grand funeral that had been organised for Rosette, much to the whole hospital’s astonishment. He bought back the objects the young girl had taken with her. After her death, they became the property of the administration. Among these objects was a blue dress, the only one that was left to the poor deceased. As well, part of his care was to have Ulric’s old furniture, from the time he lived with Rosette, transported to one of his new apartment’s rooms. It was a few days later that Ulric, determined to die, left for England. Such was the background of this character when he entered the Café de Foy salons. Ulric’s arrival created a stir amongst the assembly. The men stood up and gave him the courteous nods typical of society people. As for the women, they impudently made the Earl of Rouvres feel almost embarrassed for five minutes, with their gazes changing from curiosity to indiscretion. -‘Come on my dear deceased’, said Tristan showing Ulric his reserved seat near Fanny. ‘Propose a toast to your return to the living world, Madam’, added Tristan while designating Fanny who was motionless under her mask. ‘Madam will reason you’. ‘And you’, he said in a whisper into the young woman’s ear, ‘Do not forget what I recommended.’ Ulric took a big glass filled to the top and announced: -I drink.... -‘Do not forget that political toasts are forbidden’, shouted Tristan. -‘I drink to death’, said Ulric holding the glass towards his lips after greeting his masked neighbour. -‘And I’, replied Fanny drinking in turn... ’I drink to youth, to love....’ and like lightening ripping through a cloud, a passionate smile lightened up under the velvet mask. | Entry #20164 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Entry | 1.63 | 1.50 (4 ratings) | 1.75 (4 ratings) |
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determined to die | Good term selection | JanaW (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 19 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (8 total agrees)
| Mistranslations Should be left as in the original | magsyl | |
three of Paris’ | Syntax three of the.... in Paris | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
withdraw gentlemen’ | Punctuation comma between the two words | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Better left in the French form | magsyl | |
directed t | Mistranslations arranged | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 part of his care | Mistranslations Awkward because focused too much on "ses soins" | magsyl | |
Earl of Rouvres | Mistranslations As before, better left unaltered | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations No mention of a change | magsyl | |
deceased’ | Grammar errors deceased one/friend (needs a noun) | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
toast to your return | Omission toast to mark your return | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other As it is direct speech, a contraction "Don't" seems more natural | magsyl | |
lightened up | Mistranslations lit up | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the specified day, Count Ulric de Rouvres's quarters were prepared. Ulric was to hold a meeting there that very evening with three of the most renowned medical practitioners in Paris. Then he went out in search of Rosette. She had just died an hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had called upon and who had waited for him with the three physicians. "You may retire, sirs," Ulric said to them. "The person about whom I had wished to consult with you no longer lives." Tristan alone stayed with Count Ulric, not trying to assuage his suffering but merely keeping his fraternal company there. It was he who directed the splendid funeral ceremonies that were performed for Rosette to the great astonishment of the entire hospital. He ransomed the articles that the young girl had brought with here and that after her death had become the property of the administration. Among those articles was found the tiny blue dress, the only thing that remained of the poor deceased girl. Also, as a result of his friend's ministrations, Ulric's furniture from when he lived with Rosette was transported in its entirety to his new quarters. It was only a few days afterwards that Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such was this man of distinction's history prior to the moment when he entered the drawing rooms of the Café de Foy. As it happened, Ulric caused a great stirring among those assembled. The men stood up and addressed him with the courteous salutations of men of the world. As for the women, they brazenly occupied the Count de Rouvres for five minutes, he almost embarrassed by the battery of their well wishes, curious to the point of indiscretion. "Come along, my dearly departed," Tristan said while making Ulric sit at the place that had been reserved for him close to Fanny. "This calls for toasting your re-entry into the world of the living." "Madame," Tristan added in designating Fanny, motionless beneath her mask, "Madame, will make you see reason." "And you," he said softly into the ear of the young woman, "don't forget what I have advised you." Ulric picked up a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: "I drink..." "Don't forget that prudent toasts are forbidden," Tristan shouted back at him. "I drink to Death," said Ulric as he raised the glass to his lips after having bowed to his masked neighbor. "And I," responded Fanny while drinking on her part, "I drink to youth, to love." And, like a ray of sunlight cutting through a cloud, a brilliant smile lit up beneath her velvet mask. | Entry #16088 — Discuss 0 — Variant: USuseng
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Entry | 1.60 | 1.80 (5 ratings) | 1.40 (5 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 27 "dislike" tags
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+1 1 with | Grammar errors remove-about whom I wished to consult you, | Josephine Cassar | |
no longer lives | Syntax is no longer alive | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
performed for | Mistranslations he arranged/oversaw etc | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
man of distinction's | Other Hey big spender! Personnage is just a character or person. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 1 dearly | Mistranslations it does not mean 'my dear departed', neither 'nearly departed' | Josephine Cassar | |
re-entry | Other Sounds a bit like a rocket re-entering the earth's atmosphere | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
designating | Grammar errors designate used wrongly here | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
I have advised | Grammar errors wrong tense | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
while drinking on her part | Syntax poor English | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the set day, Count Ulric de Rouvres’s flat was prepared. There Ulric welcomed three of the most esteemed Parisian doctors. Afterwards he ran to find Rosette. She had just died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new flat, where he found his friend Tristan, who he had called, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. “You can leave now, gentlemen,” Ulric said. “The person for whom I wanted your advice, is no longer with us." Tristan, who remained alone with Count Ulric, did not try to ease his pain, but stayed with him, as a brotherly friend. This helped him through Rosette’s wonderful funeral, to the enormous surprise of everyone at the hospital. He took back the possessions that the young girl had brought with her, and which, after her death, now formed part of her estate. Amongst these, he found the little blue dress, the only one the poor deceased girl had owned. For all his cares, seeing the furniture from when he was with Rosette took him to a room in his new flat. This was a few days after, Ulric, who having resolved to die, was leaving for England. Such was the past of this character as he entered the lounge of the café du Foy. Ulric’s arrival caused a commotion in the gathering. Gentlemen got up and gave him the courteous greeting, expected of such men of the world. As for the women, they stood boldly for five minutes, to the point that Count Rouvres was embarrassed by their intense stares, curious to the point of indiscretion. “Come, my dear deceased”, said Tristan, making Ulric sit at the place that he had reserved for him next to Fanny, let us know you are here by toasting your return to the land of the living. “Madam” added Tristan speaking to Fanny, perfectly still under her mask, ‘Madam you will make everything right.” He whispered in her ear “Don’t forget my suggestion.” Ulric took a large glass full to overflowing and exclaimed “I drink…” “Don’t forget that we don’t allow political toasts,” Tristan shouted to him. “I drink to Death,” said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbour. Fanny, drinking in her turn, responded “ I drink to youth and love." Under her velvet mask, like a flash of lightening tearing through a cloud, a loving warm-hearted smile lit up her face. | Entry #21583 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
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Entry | 1.51 | 1.63 (8 ratings) | 1.38 (8 ratings) |
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for whom I wanted your advice | Flows well | Laura Nagle (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
perfectly still under her mask | Good term selection Much nicer than 'immobile' and others | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection | Laura Nagle (X) | |
- 6 users entered 29 "dislike" tags
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- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
| Omission ready for use; ready to occupy. ready to live in. In English sometimes we need to add words for the phrase to make sense. Another way is to rephrase sentences from one language to another. | axies | |
-1 +3 3 welcomed | Inconsistencies Makes it sound like the doctors arrived and then Ulric left, but he just set up an appointment with them at first. | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 esteemed | Other not the best term for famous | axies | |
find | Spelling Fetch, bring back, not actually look for/find | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "an hour ago" is in relation to the present; "an hour earlier" would be more appropriate | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Grammar errors whom | Laura Nagle (X) | |
, | Punctuation superfluous comma | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
but stayed with him, as a brotherly friend. | Mistranslations mais il s'y associa fraternellement - as a very literal translation for comprehension purposes, he associated himself fraternally to the pain. No sense of 'stayed with him' and - ok 'brotherly friend' is an explicitation of 'fraternellement' but very clumsy. | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 This helped him through | Mistranslations Tristan's support didn't help Ulric through the funeral; it made the funeral possible to begin with. | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 funeral | Omission funeral service/funeral arrangements | axies | |
+4 1 took | Mistranslations he bought them; he didn't just claim them | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+4 now formed part of her estate | Mistranslations no, they were now hospital property | Laura Nagle (X) | |
-1 1 deceased girl | Mistranslations departed | axies | |
+4 1 For all his cares, seeing the furniture from when he was with Rosette took him to a room in his new flat. | Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+4 2 This was a few days after, Ulric, who having resolved to die, was leaving for England | Syntax | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+1 1 Gentlemen | Mistranslations The gentlemen, not gentlemen in general. | Marian Vieyra | |
+2 1 such men of the world | Mistranslations society gentlemen | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations stared? | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+2 let us know you are here by toasting your return to the land of the living | Grammar errors needs speech marks, also mistranslation | rebeccacomley | |
+3 Madam you will make everything right | Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations 'we' implies Tristan had something to do with making the rule | rebeccacomley | |
shouted | Other As for next piece, 'shout' is the wrong tenor, has an incorrect emotive overtone in the context; 'cried' would be better | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
greeting | Mistranslations this is the 18C. People bowed, curtsied, inclined their heads, and indeed saluted (which was not simply a military action) | Sian Cooper No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 loving warm-hearted smile | Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| On the agreed upon date, the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was ready. Ulric had given an appointment for that same evening to three famous doctors of Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had just died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his quarters where he foudn his old friend Tristan, whom he had called and that was waiting for him with the three doctors. _You may leave, sirs, Ulric told them. The person for which I wanted to consult with you no longer exists. Tristan, stayed alone with Count Ulric, without trying to calm his pain, yet being fraternal. It was pointless for him to lead the appropriate funeral services fitting of Rosette much to the grand dismay of the entire hospital. He rescued the objects that the young lady had brought with her, and that after her death had become the property of the hospital administration. Among them a small blue dress the only one that the poor deceased had left. On the same token, the old furniture of Ulric of when he lived with Rosette was transported to a room of his new apartment. Only a few days later Ulric who was set on dying, departed to England. This was the background of this character when he enter the salon at Foy cafe. The arrival of Ulric caused great commotion among those present. The men stood up and gave him that polite greeting of people of the world. Meanwhile, the women tried to contain their indiscreet looks and during five minutes the Count of Rouvres was almost embarrassed by their killer looks, curious to the point of indiscretion. _Let's enter my dear, said Tristan while making Ulric sit at the stop he had reserved for him close to Fanny, then offering a toast in his honor for his entrance to the world of the living. My lady, said Tristan referring himself to Fanny, who was still under her mask, you will make him reason. And you, he whispered in the young lady's ear, do not forget what I advised you. Ulric took a big glass filled it to the brim and exclaimed: _I drink... _Do not forget that political toasts are prohibited, yelled Tristan. _I drink to Death, said Ulric and brought the glass to his lips, after greeting his masked neighbor. _And I, Fanny answered drinking when it was her turn...drink to youth, to love. And like lightning that destroys a cloud, a passionate smile illuminated itself under her suede mask. | Entry #22009 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.51 | 1.63 (8 ratings) | 1.38 (8 ratings) |
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- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
of | Mistranslations Ulric de Rouvres is a proper name so should not be changed. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
given | Mistranslations arranged to meet | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
of | Grammar errors Paris doctors | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
s | Punctuation Sirs", | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
being fraternal | Mistranslations sharing it fraternally | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 It was pointless for him to lead the appropriate funeral services fitting of Rosette much to the grand dismay | Mistranslations | Laura Harrison | |
It was pointless for h | Mistranslations It was he who directed | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
appropriate | Mistranslations splendid | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
services | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
fitting of Rosette | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations By the same token is the phrase, which is wrong in any case. | Marian Vieyra | |
+1 the old furniture of Ulric | Syntax Awkward. Ulric's old furniture | Marian Vieyra | |
+1 1 enter | Grammar errors Should be past tense | magsyl | |
| Grammar errors More idiomatic to add an "a" before the noun | magsyl | |
people of the world | Mistranslations society people | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 then offering a toast in his honor for his entrance to the world of the living. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
filled it | Mistranslations filled to the brim - probably by a servant | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 And like lightning that destroys a cloud, a passionate smile illuminated itself under her suede mask | Mistranslations Interesting word choices, but the end result sounds awkward to me | magsyl | |
destroys | Mistranslations tears | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the date in question, Count Ulric de Rouvres got his tenement ready. Ulric played host that evening to three of the most famous doctors in Paris. Then he rushed to look for Rosette. She passed away an hour ago. Ulric came back to his new home, where he came across his old friend Tristan, who had called him, and who was waiting for him with the three doctors. - You can leave, dear sirs, Ulric said to them. The person who I wanted to ask you about is no longer alive. Tristan stayed by himself with Count Ulric, not trying to appease his pain, but comforted him like a brother. It was he who took charge of Rosette's flamboyant funeral service, to the great surprise of the whole hospital. He bought items which the young girl had taken with her, and which, after her death, became the property of the administration. Amongst these items was a little blue dress, the only one which she had. He also took care of Ulric's old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, transporting it into a room in his new dwelling. This was a few days after Ulric, deciding to die, left for England. Such was the mindset of this character at the time when he entered the coffee rooms in Foy. Ulric's arrival caused great movement in the crowd. Men stood up and courteously saluted him. As for the women, they brazenly stared at the Count of Rouvres, almost embarrassed under the gaze of their looks, for five minutes, curious to the point of being not at all discrete. - Let's go, my dear deceased girl, said Tristan, while making Ulric sit down in the space which he had kept free with Fanny, let's toast you coming back to the world of the living. Madam, added Tristan showing Fanny, completely still under her mask, Madam you will be right. And you, he said, whispering to the young woman, don't forget how I commended you. Ulric had a large drink, full to the brim, and cried out: - I'm drinking.... - Don't forget that public toasts are banned, Tristan shouted to him. - I'm drinking to Death, exclaimed Ulric, lifting the drink to his lips, after having clinked glasses with his masked lady next to him. - And me, answered Fanny with her drink... I'm drinking to youth, to love. And like a thunderbolt tearing through the clouds, a passionate smile lit up under her velvet mask. | Entry #17923 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.43 | 1.43 (7 ratings) | 1.43 (7 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
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-1 +1 On the date in question | Good term selection and flows well too | Josephine Cassar | |
- 5 users entered 50 "dislike" tags
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (13 total agrees)
date in question | Mistranslations appointed date | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
got his | Mistranslations He didn't personally get it ready. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations this normally has very negative connotations, unlike the source word | Sheila Wilson | |
played host | Mistranslations Not a social event! | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
ago | Grammar errors earlier, not ago, past not present | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
home | Mistranslations lodgings / rooms | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations he did not come across him/meet him, but he had called him | Josephine Cassar | |
| Mistranslations Ulric had called him, not Tristan had called Ulric | Josephine Cassar | |
who | Grammar errors whom | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
by himself | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
appease | Mistranslations alleviate | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors Either replace 'but' with 'and', or replace 'comforted' with 'comforting'. | Clive Phillips | |
flamboyant | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
bought | Mistranslations bought back / redeemed | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
her, | Punctuation no comma required here | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations It should be "the little blue dress" not "a little blue dress". The ST implies that the dress is a specific one (with prior significance in the story perhaps) through its use of the definite article: "la petite robe bleue" | Brian Pitts | |
the only one which | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
she | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Inconsistencies inappropriate word (from the late 20th century) | Sheila Wilson | |
mindset | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
in Foy | Mistranslations It was a Parisian café owned by a Mr Foy | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the gaze of their looks | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Let's go | Mistranslations Come along / Come now | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
space | Mistranslations chair | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
which he had kept free | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
with | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
let's | Punctuation "Let's | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
iving. | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Madam, | Punctuation | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Tristan showing | Punctuation comma | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
Madam | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
you will be right | Mistranslations Madam will respond in kind (or similar turn of phrase). | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
right. | Punctuation " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
I'm drinking. | Grammar errors "I drink to ... " | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 after having clinked glasses with his masked lady next to him. | Mistranslations having acknowledged the masked lady next to him. | Clive Phillips | |
with her drink | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
passionate | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| To the date, the apartment of Ulric, the Duke of Rouvres, was made ready. There, on that same night, Ulric received three of the most renowned doctors in Paris. Then he hurried off to find Rosette. She had died an hour before. Ulric went back to his new lodgings, where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he had sent for, waiting for him, along with the three doctors. - You may all leave, gentlemen, Ulric told them. - The person whom I wanted to consult you about, is no more. Tristan, who stayed with Duke Ulric, didn't try to ease his pain, but took part in it as a brother. It was him who conducted the grand arrangements for Rosette's funeral, much to the surprise of the whole hospital. He purchased back the things that the young girl had brought with her, and that after her death had become the property of the administration. Among these objects was a little blue dress, the only thing left of the poor deceased. Under his care, Ulric's old dresser from the time he stayed with Rosette, was transported safely to his new apartment. It was just a few days later that Ulric decided to die, and left for England. Such was the past this person carried when he entered the salons of the Foy café. Ulrics arrival caused quite a stir in the assembly. The men stood up and saluted him with courteousness like men of the world. As for the women, they lit up shamelessly, and curious to the indiscreet, they made the Duke of Rouvre almost feel embarrassed within five minutes of their constant glares. - Come on, my deceased friend, said Tristan, making Ulric sit down where he had made place for him next to Fanny, signaling their return to the world of the living. - Madame, Tristan said turning to Fanny, who sat fixed under her mask, - Madame, You are right. And, he whispered in the young girls ear, -Don't forget what I adviced you to. Ulric picked up a big full glass by his side and exclaimed: - I will drink.... - Don't forget that political toasts are forbidden! Tristan shouted at him. - I will drink to Death, Ulric said, raising his glass first to his masked neighbour and then to his lips. - And I, responded Fanny, taking her turn to toast, - I drink to youth and to love. And like a ray of light piercing a cloud, a smile of passion lit up under his velvet mask. | Entry #18004 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.38 | 1.50 (4 ratings) | 1.25 (4 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
| Good term selection | JanaW (X) | |
- 5 users entered 50 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (34 total agrees)
Ulric, the Duke of Rouvres, | Mistranslations Count Ulric de Rouvres | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
find | Mistranslations fetch/get/collect | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors no comma is needed here | JanaW (X) | |
Duke | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
conducted | Mistranslations directed | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
purchased back | Other bought back | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
her, and that | Punctuation her and that, | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
death | Punctuation death, | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations 'the' blue dress - it has a significance in the book | Marian Vieyra | |
safely | Spelling "Dans une pièce" means into a room, not in one piece!!! | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations ... , bereft of the will to live, left for England. | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations No mention of lighting up in the original | magsyl | |
| Omission Makes no sense without "to the point of" or something similar | magsyl | |
had made place for him | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 signaling their return to the world of the living. | Mistranslations | Marian Vieyra | |
| Punctuation Needs a possessive apostrophe | magsyl | |
girls | Mistranslations woman | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
what I adviced you to | Grammar errors | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
big full glass | Other Poor choice of words. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
by his side | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
shouted at him | Other Over-translation, especially in the context of a society gathering | magsyl No agrees/disagrees | |
ay of ligh | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations No mention of "passion" in the text | magsyl | |
| On the fixed day, the Count Ulric de Rouvres’s apartment was ready. Ulric made an appointment for that same evening with three of the most famous doctors from Paris, to be held there,. Then, he ran to see Rossete. She had just died one hour before. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan. He had him called and expected him to be present in the same meeting with the doctors. –You can now retire, Sirs, Ulric said to them. The patient I wanted you to see has passed away. Tristan, who was the only one remaining with Count Ulric, did not try to alleviate his friend’s sufferings but instead, he showed his solidarity in a brotherly way. He took care of the splendid memorial services made in Rossete’s name. This was a great surprise for everyone at the hospital. He also bought the items that the young girl had taken along with her and after her passing they had become property of the undertaker’s administration. Among these items there was a small blue dress, the only bit of clothing left to the poor deceased girl. By his own means, Tristan managed to transfer Ulric’s old furniture from where Ulric used to live with Rossete’s, to a room in the new apartment. Ulric travelled to England a few days after he had wished to end his days, Such was the background of this personality at the time he set foot in the lounge of Café de Foy. Upon his arrival, Uric caused quite a stir at the gathering. The men stood up to greet him and gave him a courteous welcome typical of society people. With respect to the ladies, they were put off their stride handling the Count de Rouvres unashamedly during five minutes, that made him feel almost embarrassed by their inquisitive looks that came close to being indiscreet. –Let’s go, my dear departed one, said Tristan while making Ulric sit at a place he had reserved for him after Fanny, Make a toast to celebrate your comeback to the land of the living. Madam, added Tristan pointing to Fanny who stayed motionless under her mask, Madam will teach you a lesson. And you, he said very softly to her ear, do not forget what I have recommended you to do. Ulric took a large glass filled to the rim and exclaimed: –I propose a drink to… –Do not forget that all political toasts are forbidden, Tristan tells him loudly. –I propose a drink to death; said Ulric rising the glass to his slips, after greeting his masked neighbor. –And I, answered Funny drinking in her turn, …I drink a toast to the youth and to love... And as fast as a lightning, a smile of passion lights up under her velvet mask. | Entry #18266 — Discuss 0 — Variant: UKukeng
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.29 | 1.29 (7 ratings) | 1.29 (7 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
society people | Good term selection | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 23 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
+1 He had him called and expected him to be present | Mistranslations faire appeler (not appeler) and attendre - to wait for | rebeccacomley | |
who was the only one remaining with | Mistranslations rester is used as a synonym of être in this case. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
memorial services | Mistranslations funeral | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
after her passing they | Inconsistencies which after her passing | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations there is no reference to an undertaker | rebeccacomley | |
Rossete’s | Grammar errors just 'with Rosette' | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
Ulric travelled to England a few days after he had wished to end his days, | Mistranslations | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
Uric | Spelling Another name misspelled | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
handling | Mistranslations Handling the count unashamedly? Surely not. | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
teach you a lesson | Mistranslations respond in kind | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
tells him loudly | Grammar errors tense | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
slips | Spelling just 'sausage fingers' i suspect | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
neighbor | Spelling neighbour in UK English | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the | Grammar errors 'the' is superfluous | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
a lightning | Syntax Lightening is uncountable (never with an indefinite article) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
lights up | Grammar errors tense is past historic, not present | rebeccacomley No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric Rouvres was prepared. Ulric there made an appointment for the same evening three of the most famous physicians of Paris. Then he ran for Rosette. She had died an hour ago. Ulric went to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, he had called and was waiting with three doctors. -You can withdraw, gentlemen, 'said Ulric thereto. The person for whom I wanted to see you no more. Tristan, left alone with the Count Ulric, do not try to soothe his pain, but there fraternal associations. It was he who directed the splendid funeral that was to Rosette, to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought the objects that the girl had brought with her, and after his death, became the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue dress, which alone remained to the poor dead. By him as the old furniture Ulric, when he lived with Rosette, was transported in a room of her new apartment. It was a few days after Ulric decided to die, leaving for England. These were the history of this character when he entered the halls of coffee Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion in the assembly. Men arose and addressed him the salvation courteous people in the world. As for women, they boldly stood for five minutes Count Rouvres almost embarrassed under the battery of their eyes, curious to indiscretion. Come, my dear dead man, said Tristan sit by Ulric instead which had been reserved with Fanny, report a toast your back in the living world. Madam, 'said Tristan pointing Fanny motionless beneath his mask, Madame will you reason. And you, he whispered in the ear of the young woman, do not forget what I've recommended. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: -I drink .... -Remember that political toasts are prohibited cried Tristan.-I drink to Death, said Ulric wearing the glass to his lips, having greeted his neighbor hidden. And I replied Fanny drinking turn ... I drink to youth, love. And like lightning ripping a cloud, a smile flame lit under his velvet mask. | Entry #16909 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.22 | 1.14 (7 ratings) | 1.29 (7 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 51 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (52 total agrees)
| Omission de | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Omission for? with? | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Syntax "in" rather than "of"; too literal a translation | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Mistranslations earlier/before (past of the past) | Laura Nagle (X) | |
home | Mistranslations rooms/appartment/lodgings | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 Tristan, he had called | Syntax | Laura Nagle (X) | |
was | Grammar errors and who was | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 -You can withdraw, gentlemen, ' | Punctuation | Laura Nagle (X) | |
- | Punctuation not English punctuation | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
can | Other you **may** withdraw | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
thereto | Syntax to them - "thereto" is for objects, not people. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Omission "is no more" | Laura Nagle (X) | |
| Grammar errors did | Laura Nagle (X) | |
+2 2 but there fraternal associations | Mistranslations | Laura Nagle (X) | |
bought | Mistranslations bought back | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
which alone remained to | Grammar errors not good English | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 By him as the old furniture Ulric | Mistranslations + grammar errors | Josephine Cassar | |
transported in | Grammar errors Wrong preposition | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
her | Mistranslations his | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
which | Omission the chair | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation speech marks missing or in wrong place | Marian Vieyra | |
+2 1 will you reason | Mistranslations not the meaning of 'faire raison' | Josephine Cassar | |
+1 1 wearing the glass to his lips, | Mistranslations wearing?? | Marian Vieyra | |
having greeted his neighbor hidden | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
And | Punctuation And, | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the set day, the apartment of Count Ulric Rouvres was ready. Ulric gave appointment for the same evening to three of the most famous physicians of Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new home, where he met his old friend Tristan, whom he had called, was who waiting with the three doctors. -You may leave gentlemen, said Ulric to them. The person for whom I wanted to consult you is no more. Tristan waits back with the Count Ulric alone, he doesn’t try to soothe his pain, but they have fraternal connection. It was he who directed the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought back the objects that the girl had brought with her, and which after her death, became the property of the administration. Among these objects, there was the little blue dress, which was left for the poor dead. With his care, the old furniture of Ulric, which he lived in with rosette were being transported to a room in his new house. It was a few days after Ulric, decided to die, leaving for England. These were the antecedents of this character when he entered the halls of Cafe Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion in the assembly. Men arose and addressed him the courteous nod of people in the world. As for women, they boldly stood for five minutes embracing the Count Rouvres under the battery of their eyes, curious to indiscretion. -Come, my dear dead man, said Tristan by making Ulric sit on the seat which he had reserved for Fanny, raising a toast for your return to the living world. Madam, adds Tristan pointing Fanny, motionless beneath his mask, Madame you are right. And you, he whispered in the ear of the young woman, do not forget what I've recommended. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: -I am drinking .... -Remember that political toasts are prohibited, Tristan shouted at him. -I drink for the Dead, said Ulric with the glass close to his lips, having greeted his hidden neighbor. And I, replied Fanny drinking her turn ... I drink for youth, love. And like lightning ripping a cloud, a smile flame lit under his velvet mask. | Entry #17350 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Britishbritish
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.20 | 1.25 (8 ratings) | 1.14 (7 ratings) |
- 7 users entered 34 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (32 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Mistranslations the correct verb in this case is 'make' | Marian Vieyra | |
| Grammar errors the correct preposition for appointments is 'with'. | Marian Vieyra | |
-1 +1 1 doesn’t | Grammar errors wrong tense - n'essaya in French | Marian Vieyra | |
doesn’t | Other I do not like a negative contraction in a period text | jrum No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 the old furniture of Ulric, | Syntax Ulric's old furniture | Marian Vieyra | |
which he lived in | Mistranslations he didn't live in his old furniture! | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
were | Grammar errors furniture is singular | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
being transported | Grammar errors Should not be progressive. | Catherine Halter No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 It was a few days after Ulric, decided to die, leaving for England | Syntax Google translate? | Marian Vieyra | |
| Mistranslations 'will respond in kind/in like fashion' or 'will reciprocate'. | Clive Phillips | |
| Mistranslations Shouted is awfully forceful. Called out might be better. | Catherine Halter | |
I drink for the Dead | Grammar errors 'for' is the wrong preposition | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations a la mort -- to Death, rather than to the dead. | Catherine Halter | |
| On the decided day the apartment of Count Ulric of Rouvres was prepared. Ulric set an appointment there for that same night with three of the most celebrated doctors of Paris. Then he ran to look for Rosette. She had died an hour ago. Ulric returned to his new lodgings where he found his old friend Tristan, whom he’d called, and who had waited with the three doctors. “You may retreat, sirs,”said Ulric to them. “The person with whom you wish to consult no longer exists.” Tristan alone stayed with Count Ulric, not trying to soothe his pain, but providing brotherly companionship. It was he who directed the splendid funeral for Rosette, to the great surprise of the whole hospital. He redeemed the possessions that the young girl had brought with her, and that, after her death, became the property of the administration. Among her possessions was found the little blue dress, the sole that remained to the poor deceased. Also by his efforts Ulric’s old furniture, from when he lived with Rosette, were transported to a room of his new apartment. This was a few days after Ulric, having decided to die, left for England. Such was the antecedent of this person at the moment where he entered the rooms of Foy’s café. The arrival of Ulric caused a great stir in the assembled. The men rose and addressed to him the courteous salutation of men of the world. As for the women, they held back insolently for five minutes while the Count of Rouvres was almost embarrassed by the battery of their gazes, curious at the indiscretion. “So, my dearly departed darling,” said Tristan, seating Ulric in the place reserved for him next to Fanny, “Signal with a toast your reentry to the land of the living. Madame,” added Tristan gesturing toward Fanny, immobile under her mask, “Madame you were correct. And you,” said he, his eyes lowered toward the young woman, “do not forget what I’ve recommended.” Ulric took a large glass filled to the rim and cried out, “I drink…” “Don’t forget that political toasts are forbidden,” Tristan called to him. “I drink to death,” said Ulric, bringing the glass to his lips after having saluted his masked neighbor. “And me,” replied Fanny as she drunk her turn, “I drink to youth, to love.” And like a bolt of lightning that tore apart the snow, a tongue of flame illuminated her velvet mask. | Entry #20947 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.17 | 1.33 (3 ratings) | 1.00 (3 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 34 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (9 total agrees)
On the decided day | Syntax Not a natural way to express the idea. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
look for | Mistranslations fetch/get/collect | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
he’d called | Mistranslations he had called for | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 with whom you wish to | Mistranslations and grammar-the person about who I wished to consult you, | Josephine Cassar | |
alone stayed | Mistranslations Trista was alone with him, not Tristan alone... | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
redeemed | Mistranslations racheter means to buy/purchase in this context | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
This was a few days after Ulric, having decided to die, | Mistranslations It was a few days after this that Ulric...left for England | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
men of the world | Mistranslations society gentlemen | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
curious at the indiscretion | Mistranslations curious to the point of indiscretion | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
his eyes lowered toward | Mistranslations no mention of eyes, just ears | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
recommended | Mistranslations advised you to do | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
after having saluted | Mistranslations 'having acknowledged' or 'after acknowledging' | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
tongue of flame illuminated her velvet mask. | Mistranslations Wrong meaning. | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
| On the appointed day, the apartment of Count Ulric Rouvres was prepared. Ulric there made an appointment for the same evening three of the most famous physicians of Paris. Then he ran for Rosette. She had died an hour ago. Ulric went to his new home, where he found his old friend Tristan, he had called and was waiting with three doctors. -You can withdraw, gentlemen, 'said Ulric thereto. The person for whom I wanted to see you no more. Tristan, left alone with the Count Ulric, do not try to soothe his pain, but there fraternal associations. It was he who directed the splendid funeral that was to Rosette, to the astonishment of the whole hospital. He bought the objects that the girl had brought with her, and after his death, became the property of the administration. Among these objects was the little blue dress, which alone remained to the poor dead. By him as the old furniture Ulric, when he lived with Rosette, was transported in a room of her new apartment. It was a few days after Ulric decided to die, leaving for England. These were the history of this character when he entered the halls of coffee Foy. The arrival of Ulric caused a great commotion in the assembly. Men arose and addressed him the salvation courteous people in the world. As for women, they boldly stood for five minutes Count Rouvres almost embarrassed under the battery of their eyes, curious to indiscretion. Come, my dear dead man, said Tristan sit by Ulric instead which had been reserved with Fanny, report a toast your back in the living world. Madam, 'said Tristan pointing Fanny motionless beneath his mask, Madame will you reason. And you, he whispered in the ear of the young woman, do not forget what I've recommended. Ulric took a large glass filled to the brim and exclaimed: -I drink .... -Remember that political toasts are prohibited cried Tristan. -I drink to Death, said Ulric wearing the glass to his lips, having greeted his neighbor hidden. And I replied Fanny drinking turn ... I drink to youth, love. And like lightning ripping a cloud, a smile flame lit under his velvet mask. | Entry #17669 — Discuss 0 — Variant: Not specifiednone
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Count Ulric Rouvres | Omission de | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
he Count Ulric, do not try to soothe his pain, but | Mistranslations | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
but there fraternal associations | Omission ?? | Laura Harrison No agrees/disagrees | |
that was to Rosette | Syntax | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
bought | Mistranslations racheter, not acheter | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
objects | Other A dress is a thing rather than an object. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
the poor dead | Omission the poor dead girl | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
By him as the old furniture Ulric, when he lived with Rosette | Other bad English structure | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
transported in | Grammar errors wrong preposition | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
after | Omission after this that ... | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 Ulric decided to die, leaving | Grammar errors that Ulric, who had decided to die, left | Clive Phillips | |
the salvation courteous people in the world | Grammar errors not good structure, bad English | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
wo | Mistranslations the women-definite article | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
under the battery of their eyes, curious to indiscretion | Mistranslations | Clive Phillips No agrees/disagrees | |
my dear dead man | Other Unnatural choice of words | Jane F No agrees/disagrees | |
sit by Ulric | Mistranslations Tristan was talking to Ulric | Josephine Cassar No agrees/disagrees | |
-I | Punctuation This is not English punctuation | Jennifer Byers No agrees/disagrees | |
wearing the glass | Mistranslations wrong verb used | Jane F No agrees/disagrees | |
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